History Haiku / TheBluesBrothers

27th Jun '14 10:13:50 PM jozpierce
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They’re out of gas, out of time\\

to:

They’re out Out of gas, gas and out of time\\



They stop to sabotage cars\\

to:

They stop to sabotage cars\\Sabotaging cars they stop\\
27th Jun '14 10:08:10 PM jozpierce
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A Catholic upbringing\\

to:

A Catholic Cath-o-lic upbringing\\



In an out of jail\\

to:

In an and out of jail\\
27th Jun '14 10:06:51 PM jozpierce
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'''A Mission From God, as told in Haiku'''\\

to:

'''A Mission From God, as told in Haiku'''\\
Haiku'''



Orphanages suck\\

to:

Orphanages suck\\
suck



A ward of the state\\

to:

A ward of the state\\
state



Change their names to “Blues”\\

to:

Change their names to “Blues”\\
“Blues”



They learn to raise Hell\\

to:

They learn to raise Hell\\
Hell



Whipped by a Penguin\\

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Whipped by a Penguin\\
Penguin



But with sunglasses\\

to:

But with sunglasses\\
sunglasses



Gave them both some booze\\

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Gave them both some booze\\
booze



To Sister Mary\\

to:

To Sister Mary\\
Mary



Cheap booze and women\\

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Cheap booze and women\\
women



Both broke down easy\\

to:

Both broke down easy\\
easy



Gun wasn’t loaded\\

to:

Gun wasn’t loaded\\
loaded



For a microphone\\

to:

For a microphone\\
microphone



Best keep his cot warm\\

to:

Best keep his cot warm\\
warm



Run them off a bridge\\

to:

Run them off a bridge\\
bridge



He knew they had SCMODS\\

to:

He knew they had SCMODS\\
SCMODS



He drives through a mall\\

to:

He drives through a mall\\
mall



A mission from God\\

to:

A mission from God\\
God



Hits them with ruler\\

to:

Hits them with ruler\\
ruler



Reunite the band\\

to:

Reunite the band\\
band



She tells him to think\\

to:

She tells him to think\\
think



No Ramada Room\\

to:

No Ramada Room\\
Room



He quits to play horns\\

to:

He quits to play horns\\
horns



Ray takes IOUs\\

to:

Ray takes IOUs\\
IOUs



But they need a gig\\

to:

But they need a gig\\
gig



Both kinds of music\\

to:

Both kinds of music\\
music



Got no union cards\\

to:

Got no union cards\\
cards



The hall is a barn\\

to:

The hall is a barn\\
barn



Elwood makes a date\\

to:

Elwood makes a date\\
date



Elwood thinks ahead\\

to:

Elwood thinks ahead\\
ahead



Jake peeks into stalls\\

to:

Jake peeks into stalls\\
stalls



Orange Whips for three\\

to:

Orange Whips for three\\
three



Bluesmobile awaits\\

to:

Bluesmobile awaits\\
awaits



Now she wants revenge \\

to:

Now she wants revenge \\
revenge



Jake lifts an eyebrow\\

to:

Jake lifts an eyebrow\\
eyebrow



Jake tells him “Hit it!”\\

to:

Jake tells him “Hit it!”\\
it!”



High speed chase ensues\\

to:

High speed chase ensues\\
ensues



Elwood pulls over\\

to:

Elwood pulls over\\
over



There’s a Picasso\\

to:

There’s a Picasso\\
Picasso



Still one step ahead\\

to:

Still one step ahead\\
ahead



Back in five minutes\\

to:

Back in five minutes\\
minutes



The boys are unarmed\\

to:

The boys are unarmed\\
unarmed



Not Elwood’s handcuffs\\

to:

Not Elwood’s handcuffs\\
handcuffs



Can’t pay for lawyers\\

to:

Can’t Can’t pay for lawyers\\
lawyers



Two recidivists\\

to:

Two recidivists\\recidivists
27th Jun '14 10:03:50 PM jozpierce
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A Mission From God, as told in Haiku\\

to:

A '''A Mission From God, as told in Haiku\\
Haiku'''\\



->-- [[{{Tropers/JoZPierce}} JoZPierce]]

to:

->-- -> -- [[{{Tropers/JoZPierce}} JoZPierce]]
27th Jun '14 10:01:10 PM jozpierce
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Added DiffLines:


A Mission From God, as told in Haiku\\

Mom died in childbirth\\
Maybe illegitimate\\
Orphanages suck\\

Picked up by a cop\\
Another boy abandoned\\
A ward of the state\\

Elwood taken in\\
By Jake, his new big brother\\
Change their names to “Blues”\\

Raised by God and nuns\\
A Catholic upbringing\\
They learn to raise Hell\\

Brothers not by blood\\
Learned music in a basement\\
Whipped by a Penguin\\

Black suit and white shirt\\
They too dress like the Penguin\\
But with sunglasses\\

Like a real father\\
The janitor named Curtis\\
Gave them both some booze\\

In an out of jail\\
They’re such a disappointment\\
To Sister Mary\\

Out there in the world\\
They live their lives for music\\
Cheap booze and women\\

One drove cars too fast\\
The other loved fast women\\
Both broke down easy\\

Jake lands in the slam\\
Robbed for a room service bill\\
Gun wasn’t loaded\\

Now the band has split\\
And Elwood trades the Caddy\\
For a microphone\\

In for three to five\\
He’s out on good behavior\\
Best keep his cot warm\\

Illinois Nazis\\
They hate Illinois Nazis\\
Run them off a bridge\\

Nothing but bad luck\\
Elwood was stopped for speeding\\
He knew they had SCMODS\\

Tries to outrun them\\
No way back to the highway\\
He drives through a mall\\

Chat with the penguin\\
Need money for back taxes\\
A mission from God\\

Jake needs just a day\\
She won’t take dirty money\\
Hits them with ruler\\

Need the cash real fast\\
From God they get the answer\\
Reunite the band\\

Matt “Guitar” Murphy\\
His old lady is angry\\
She tells him to think\\

Magictones join too\\
No candy ass monkey suits\\
No Ramada Room\\

Mr. Fabulous\\
He likes his high paying gig\\
He quits to play horns\\

With used equipment\\
The band is back together\\
Ray takes IOUs\\

The fat sound is back\\
It turns goat piss into gas\\
But they need a gig\\

Country Bob’s Bunker\\
They’ve got Country and Western\\
Both kinds of music\\

Good Ole Boys are mad\\
They drive a Winnebago\\
Got no union cards\\

Maury books a gig\\
The Palace Hotel Ballroom\\
The hall is a barn\\

Quick advertising\\
They’re out of gas, out of time\\
Elwood makes a date\\

They’re late for the gig\\
They stop to sabotage cars\\
Elwood thinks ahead\\

Can’t get past the cops\\
Go through the ladies bathroom\\
Jake peeks into stalls\\

Troopers and Nazis\\
Parole officer waits too\\
Orange Whips for three\\

A few quick numbers\\
They get the cash and escape\\
Bluesmobile awaits\\

Stood up at the church\\
Jake’s fiancé is angry\\
Now she wants revenge \\

It wasn’t his fault\\
He was detained by locusts\\
Jake lifts an eyebrow\\

A full tank of gas\\
Dark, they’re wearing sunglasses\\
Jake tells him “Hit it!”\\

Back to Chicago\\
Must pay taxes by morning\\
High speed chase ensues\\

They outrun the law\\
Police cars don’t stand a chance\\
Elwood pulls over\\

Sweet Home Chicago\\
They’re almost at the courthouse\\
There’s a Picasso\\

Ask for directions\\
Muzak in elevator\\
Still one step ahead\\

Blockade door with desk\\
The Assessor’s still at lunch\\
Back in five minutes\\

SWAT Team has arrived\\
All available units\\
The boys are unarmed\\

Tax receipt in hand \\
The brothers are arrested\\
Not Elwood’s handcuffs\\

Orphanage is saved\\
Mission from God completed\\
Can’t pay for lawyers\\

In and out of jail\\
Revolving door of justice\\
Two recidivists\\
->-- [[{{Tropers/JoZPierce}} JoZPierce]]
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Haiku.TheBluesBrothers