Line #22 Funny/TheTourist


1	* Frank's and Elise's first meeting on the train:
2	--> '''Frank''': My name's Frank.
3	--> '''Elise''': That's a terrible name.
4	--> '''Frank''': ''[Shrugs]'' It's the only one I've got.
5	--> '''Elise''': Perhaps we can find you a new one.
6
7	* Frank's attempts to invite Elise to dinner.
8	--> '''Elise''': Invite me to dinner, Frank?
9	--> '''Frank''': What?
10	--> '''Elise''': ''[Gives him a look]''
11	--> '''Frank''': Would you like to have dinner?
12	--> '''Elise''': Women don't like questions.
13	--> '''Frank''': Join me for dinner.
14	--> '''Elise''': Too demanding.
15	--> '''Frank''': Join me for dinner?
16	--> '''Elise''': Another question.
17	--> '''Frank''': ''[Thinks for a moment]'' I'm having dinner, if you'd care to join me.
18	--> '''Elise''': ''[Smiles at him]''
19
20	* When Frank sees Elise in her evening wear.
21	--> '''Frank''': [[PrecisionFStrike Fuck.]]
22	--> '''Elise''': ''[Gives look]''.
23	--> '''Frank''': You're ravenous.
24	--> '''Elise''': Do you mean 'ravishing'?
25	--> '''Frank''': I do.
26	--> '''Elise''': You're ravenous.
27	--> '''Frank''': I am.
28
29	* When the two thugs are trying to break into Frank's hotel room and he calls the reception for help.
30	--> '''Frank''': ''[Into the phone]'' Hello? Please help!
31	--> '''Concierge''': ''[Answering phone]'' Buongiorno, signore.
32	--> '''Frank''': Buongiorno--I, I need help! There are two men trying to break down the door...
33	--> '''Concierge''': I see, what kind of problem do you have with the door, sir?
34	--> '''Frank''': No, no, no! There are two men with guns trying to break in! Dos hombres, con... con pistolas!
35	--> '''Concierge''': Your Spanish is excellent, sir.
36	--> '''Frank''': Thank you...
37	--> ''[The thugs start to shoot out the door lock]''
38	--> '''Frank''': Ah, I gotta go! ''[Frank drops the phone and exits through the window]''
39	--> '''Concierge''': Sir? ''[Slams down the receiver]'' American!
40
41	* Frank's constant use of Spanish instead of Italian is pretty funny in just about every instance.
42	--> '''Frank''': ''Gracias.''
43	--> '''Policeman''': ''[{{Beat}}]'' De nada.
44
45	* Fleeing his would-be assailants, Frank runs along rooftops, leaps across a gap to an awning, and dashes through a crowded marketplace... in his pajamas. The chase ends when he runs into a policeman (literally), and is promptly arrested. (Yes, the whole sequence is ''very'' reminiscent of [[Film/PiratesOfTheCaribbeanTheCurseOfTheBlackPearl Jack Sparrow]].)
46
47	* After Frank narrowly escapes the two thugs.
48	--> '''Policeman''': You wish to report a murder.
49	--> '''Frank''': Attempted murder.
50	--> '''Policeman''': That's not so serious.
51	--> '''Frank''': Not when you downgrade it from murder. But when you upgrade it from room service, it's quite serious.
52
53	* Right after Shaw strangles an incompetent minion with a measuring tape.
54	--> '''Shaw''': ''[Checking new suit in mirror]'' Does it look all right?
55	--> '''Bodyguard''': ''[Nervous]'' Yes. Like always.
56	--> '''Shaw''': What's always?
57	--> '''Bodyguard''': Very good.
58	--> '''Shaw''': Yes, I think it looks all right.
59
60	* Shaw referring to Alexander's stealing millions of dollars from him.
61	--> You know, Alexander was like a son to me. I loved him. That brilliant, playful, disrespectful young bastard. I even thought that he and I were two of a kind. Oh, I took great pleasure in never knowing what this man would do next. Until one day what he did next didn't give me any pleasure at all.
62
63	* At the end, as the two are escaping on a boat.
64	--> '''Elise''': Twenty million dollars worth of plastic surgery and that's the face you choose?
65	--> '''Frank''': You don't like it?
66	--> '''Elise''': ''(smiles)'' It will do.

Context Funny / TheTourist