History Funny / TheTourist

2nd Nov '13 2:20:34 AM vampergreen
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Added DiffLines:

* Frank's constant use of Spanish instead of Italian is pretty funny in just about every instance.
--> '''Frank''': ''Gracias.''
--> '''Policeman''': *{{Beat}}* ''De nada.''
21st Dec '11 1:50:16 PM TooBadForU
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* --> '''Elsie''': Invite me to dinner, Frank?

to:

* Frank's attempts to invite Elsie to dinner.
--> '''Elsie''': Invite me to dinner, Frank?
21st Dec '11 1:49:27 PM TooBadForU
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''(at their first meeting on the train:)''

-> FRANK: My name's Frank.
-> ELSIE: That's a terrible name.
-> FRANK: ''(shrugs)'' It's the only one I've got.
-> ELSIE: Perhaps we can find you a new one.
-

-> ELSIE: Invite me to dinner, Frank?
-> FRANK: What?
-> ELSIE: ''(gives him a look)''
-> FRANK: Would you like to have dinner?
-> ELSIE: Women don't like questions.
-> FRANK: Join me for dinner.
-> ELSIE: Too demanding.
-> FRANK: Join me for dinner?
-> ELSIE: Another question.
-> FRANK: ''(thinks for a moment)'' I'm having dinner, if you'd care to join me.
-> ELSIE: ''(smiles at him)''
-

''(seeing ELSIE in her evening wear:)''

-> FRANK: [[PrecisionFStrike Fuck.]]
-> ELSIE: ''Gives look''.
-> FRANK: You're ravenous.
-> ELSIE: Do you mean 'ravishing'?
-> FRANK: I do.
-> ELSIE: You're ravenous.
-> FRANK: I am.
-

''(as two THUGS are trying to break into FRANK's hotel room:)''

-> FRANK: ''(into the phone)'' Hello? Please help!
-> CONCIERGE: ''(answering phone)'' Buongiorno, signore.
-> FRANK: Buongiorno- I, I need help! There are two men trying to break down the door...
-> CONCIERGE: I see, what kind of problem do you have with the door, sir?
-> FRANK: No, no, no! There are two men with guns trying to break in! Dos hombres, con... con pistolas!
-> CONCIERGE: Your Spanish is excellent, sir.
-> FRANK: Thank you...
-> ''(The THUGS start to shoot out the door lock)''
-> FRANK: Ah, I gotta go! ''(FRANK drops the phone and exits through the window)''
-> CONCIERGE: Sir? ''(slams down the receiver)'' American!
-

Fleeing his would-be assailants, Frank runs along rooftops, leaps across a gap to an awning, and dashes through a crowded marketplace... in his pajamas. The chase ends when he runs into a policeman (literally), and is promptly arrested.
(Yes, the whole sequence is ''very'' reminiscent of Jack Sparrow.)
->
-

''(after FRANK narrowly escapes the two THUGS:)''

-> POLICEMAN: You wish to report a murder.
-> FRANK: Attempted murder.
-> POLICEMAN: That's not so serious.
-> FRANK: Not when you downgrade it from murder. But when you upgrade it from room service, it's quite serious.
-

''(right after SHAW strangles an incompetent minion with a measuring tape:)''

-> SHAW: ''(checking new suit in mirror)'' Does it look all right?
-> BODYGUARD: ''(nervous)'' Yes. Like always.
-> SHAW: What's always?
-> BODYGUARD: Very good.
-> SHAW: Yes, I think it looks all right.
-

(referring to ALEXANDER's stealing millions of dollars from him:)

-> SHAW: You know, Alexander was like a son to me. I loved him. That brilliant, playful, disrespectful young bastard. I even thought that he and I were two of a kind. Oh, I took great pleasure in never knowing what this man would do next. Until one day what he did next didn't give me any pleasure at all.
-

''(at the end, as the two are escaping on a boat:)''

-> ELSIE: Twenty million dollars worth of plastic surgery and that's the face you choose?
-> FRANK: You don't like it?
-> ELSIE: ''(smiles)'' It will do.

to:

''(at their * Frank's and Elsie's first meeting on the train:)''

-> FRANK:
train:
--> '''Frank''':
My name's Frank.
-> ELSIE: --> '''Elsie''': That's a terrible name.
-> FRANK: --> '''Frank''': ''(shrugs)'' It's the only one I've got.
-> ELSIE: --> '''Elsie''': Perhaps we can find you a new one.
-

-> ELSIE:
one.

* --> '''Elsie''':
Invite me to dinner, Frank?
-> FRANK: --> '''Frank''': What?
-> ELSIE: --> '''Elsie''': ''(gives him a look)''
-> FRANK: --> '''Frank''': Would you like to have dinner?
-> ELSIE: --> '''Elsie''': Women don't like questions.
-> FRANK: --> '''Frank''': Join me for dinner.
-> ELSIE: --> '''Elsie''': Too demanding.
-> FRANK: --> '''Frank''': Join me for dinner?
-> ELSIE: --> '''Elsie''': Another question.
-> FRANK: --> '''Frank''': ''(thinks for a moment)'' I'm having dinner, if you'd care to join me.
-> ELSIE: --> '''Elsie''': ''(smiles at him)''
-

''(seeing ELSIE
him)''

* When Frank sees Elsie
in her evening wear:)''

-> FRANK:
wear.
--> '''Frank''':
[[PrecisionFStrike Fuck.]]
-> ELSIE: --> '''Elsie''': ''Gives look''.
-> FRANK: --> '''Frank''': You're ravenous.
-> ELSIE: --> '''Elsie''': Do you mean 'ravishing'?
-> FRANK: --> '''Frank''': I do.
-> ELSIE: --> '''Elsie''': You're ravenous.
-> FRANK: --> '''Frank''': I am.
-

''(as
am.

* When the
two THUGS thugs are trying to break into FRANK's Frank's hotel room:)''

-> FRANK:
room and he calls the reception for help.
--> '''Frank''':
''(into the phone)'' Hello? Please help!
-> CONCIERGE: --> '''Concierge''': ''(answering phone)'' Buongiorno, signore.
-> FRANK: --> '''Frank''': Buongiorno- I, I need help! There are two men trying to break down the door...
-> CONCIERGE: --> '''Concierge''': I see, what kind of problem do you have with the door, sir?
-> FRANK: --> '''Frank''': No, no, no! There are two men with guns trying to break in! Dos hombres, con... con pistolas!
-> CONCIERGE: --> '''Concierge''': Your Spanish is excellent, sir.
-> FRANK: --> '''Frank''': Thank you...
-> --> ''(The THUGS thugs start to shoot out the door lock)''
-> FRANK: --> '''Frank''': Ah, I gotta go! ''(FRANK ''(Frank drops the phone and exits through the window)''
-> CONCIERGE: --> '''Concierge''': Sir? ''(slams down the receiver)'' American!
-

American!

*
Fleeing his would-be assailants, Frank runs along rooftops, leaps across a gap to an awning, and dashes through a crowded marketplace... in his pajamas. The chase ends when he runs into a policeman (literally), and is promptly arrested. \n (Yes, the whole sequence is ''very'' reminiscent of Jack Sparrow.)
->
-

''(after FRANK
)

* After Frank
narrowly escapes the two THUGS:)''

-> POLICEMAN:
thugs.
--> '''Policeman''':
You wish to report a murder.
-> FRANK: --> '''Frank''': Attempted murder.
-> POLICEMAN: --> '''Policeman''': That's not so serious.
-> FRANK: --> '''Frank''': Not when you downgrade it from murder. But when you upgrade it from room service, it's quite serious.
-

''(right
serious.

* Right
after SHAW Shaw strangles an incompetent minion with a measuring tape:)''

-> SHAW:
tape.
--> '''Shaw''':
''(checking new suit in mirror)'' Does it look all right?
-> BODYGUARD: --> '''Bodyguard''': ''(nervous)'' Yes. Like always.
-> SHAW: --> '''Shaw''': What's always?
-> BODYGUARD: --> '''Bodyguard''': Very good.
-> SHAW: --> '''Shaw''': Yes, I think it looks all right.
-

(referring
right.

* Shaw referring
to ALEXANDER's Alexander's stealing millions of dollars from him:)

-> SHAW:
him.
-->
You know, Alexander was like a son to me. I loved him. That brilliant, playful, disrespectful young bastard. I even thought that he and I were two of a kind. Oh, I took great pleasure in never knowing what this man would do next. Until one day what he did next didn't give me any pleasure at all.
-

''(at
all.

* At
the end, as the two are escaping on a boat:)''

-> ELSIE:
boat.
--> '''Elsie''':
Twenty million dollars worth of plastic surgery and that's the face you choose?
-> FRANK: --> '''Frank''': You don't like it?
-> ELSIE: --> '''Elsie''': ''(smiles)'' It will do.
do.
12th Nov '11 11:11:43 AM FlameFeathers
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Added DiffLines:

-> FRANK: [[PrecisionFStrike Fuck.]]
-> ELSIE: ''Gives look''.
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