Line #1 Funny/TheQueensThief


1	!!''The Thief''
2	* When the magus complains that Gen is chewing with his mouth open, Gen does it even more obviously.
3	* Gen, unabashedly whining and complaining about wanting lunch, not wanting to ride, and pointing out that as the person with the skills, he's more important than any other member of the party.
4
5	!!''The Queen of Attolia'':
6	* Gen huddling in the temple of Eddis for a day, causing no end of worry to his cousin and father, and emerging to report that Moira, messenger of the Great Goddess, told him to QuitYourWhining.
7	* The results of the magus' pep-talk to Gen after losing his hand are equal parts awesome and hilarious.
8	-->'''Gen:''' You told me I could still do something.\
9	'''Magus:''' I meant talk your queen into surrendering, not burn our navy in its own harbor!
10	** And Sounis' reaction once he realizes that it was the Thief who did it.
11	-->'''Sounis:''' What was he doing?\
12	'''Adviser:''' Well, your majesty, stealing your magus.
13	* This exchange near the end:
14	-->'''Attolia:''' How is your head, sir?\
15	'''Minister:''' Gray.\
16	'''Attolia:''' With worry? You do not like our harum-scarum plans?\
17	'''Minister:''' I am filled with admiration for them, your Majesty.\
18	'''Eddis:''' Your head?\
19	'''Attolia:''' [[ItMakesSenseInContext He had to be forcibly dissuaded from strangling his son.]]\
20	'''Eddis:''' [[DeadpanSnarker So have we all, from time to time.]]
21	* Attolia noticing that her people are practically fainting with shock when Eddis and her Minister of War talk back to her ''without being terrified''.
22
23	!!''The King of Attolia'':
24	* Gen deliberately unnerving the council by playing with a coin and tossing it in the air. Just when Relius seemed like he had enough, Irene kicked Gen with her foot, causing him to jump with outrage. Made awesome when Gen still manages to catch the coin while glaring at her.
25	* Aulus and Boagus, Eddis' cousins, are sent for to forcibly keep Eugenides in bed long enough to recover from his injury--both of them are very much TheBigGuy. When Eugenides gives Costis a MeaningfulLook, Costis draws himself up to "defend his king to the death from his huge Eddisian nanny."
26	* Phresine tells Gen the story of the king who promised the moon goddess never to tell a lie under her eye in exchange for a prosperous kingdom. It looks like she's working up to a DownerEnding as the king, years later, almost gives a false name while acting as KingIncognito, and Gen is getting more and more uncomfortable... then the king's friend breaks an amphora of wine over his head. Which reminds him of his promise.
27	* Irene tells Relius that she once threw an inkpot at Gen during their wedding night'')
28	-->'''Relius''': I never thought you would be a fishwife.
29	-->'''Irene''': Lo, the transforming power of love.
30	* A good 75% of Gen's interactions with Costis count, although Costis is very often too exasperated to fully appreciate the joke.
31	--> '''Eugenides''': Am I insufficiently kinglike? Costis has been telling me so.
32	--> '''Irene''': Unkingly in so many ways, My King. Not least of which is listening to your guard tell you so.
33	* In an epic display of DidIJustSayThatOutLoud, Costis actually gets a good shot in to the king's comment that Costis might be guard captain for the heir if the royal couple is assassinated, unlikely as that is.
34	--> "The assassination or the heir?"
35	* In ''King of Attolia'', Eugenides has just engineered the fall of the House of Erondites, the most powerful and belligerent baron in Attolia in a mere ninety-eight days, winning the [[GracefulLoser respect of a man who hated him]] and utterly astonishing his attendents who [[ObfuscatingStupidity thought him an idiot]] in the process. Then Irene asks for clarification on one point:
36	-->“The difficulty with Dite that you two have settled,” she said thoughtfully, disbelieving the conclusion she had reached. “You were [[GreenEyedMonster jealous]]… of Dite?”
37	-->The king, the master of the fates of men, before their eyes was reduced to a man, very young himself, and in love. Picking again at the coverlet, he answered, with his eyes cast down, “''Wildly''.”
38	* From the same scene, Irene being ''completely unaware'' that Dite was in love with her, something that had been obvious to any bystander from the palace to ''the country of Sounis''.
39	* Eugenides refuses to practice swordplay with Telus on account of his hangover and then says he could have Teleus' head off if he wanted.
40	--> "Of course, sire. [{{Beat}}] With a ''word''."
41	* After Eugenides apologizes for "what was done, and not well done", Teleus accepts his apology by saying "you are revealed at last." They're in the steam room of the guards' bathouse.
42	--> "Was that a joke, Teleus?"
43
44	!!''A Conspiracy of Kings'':
45	* While trekking through the mountains, Sophos and the magus suddenly realize a clue that they had both missed on their original journey with Gen: he ''never complained about the climbing.''
46	--> "Bastard."
47	* Sounis Sophos returns to the court of Attolia.
48	-->'''Attolis''': You ''shot'' the ambassador?
49	-->'''Sounis''': You gave me the gun!
50	-->'''Attolis''': I didn't mean for you to shoot an ambassador with it!
51	-->'''Magus''': [[DeadpanSnarker Oh, how our carefully laid plans go astray.]]
52	* Eugenides remarks that if Irene ever stopped fussing over him, he'd start sleeping with two knives under his pillow. Her response? "Oh, please." It dawns on Sophos that she means ''no'' amount of knives would save him.
53
54	!!''Thick as Thieves'':
55	* Kamet's first encounter with the "wine merchant" after it becomes clear later that it was Immakuk--wise Immakuk, who needs a big awkward pause to come up with his cover story to get Kamet to the docks early.
56	* Many of Eugenides's interactions with people he doesn't like are hilarious--at least, to the readers, even if those who underestimate him aren't always in on the joke. This exchange from ''Thick as Thieves'' is among the most notable:
57	-->'''The Attolian''': My king likes to pretend that he doesn't recognize the Mede ambassador. Whenever they meet, the ambassador has to introduce himself--with all of his diplomatic titles and his qualifications.
58	-->'''Kamet''': No.
59	-->'''The Attolian''': Yes. Sometimes twice a day.
60	* Kamet has to chitchat with other travelers to blend in, but as a slave, isn't sure how to start. He decides that he's heard free people complain about taxes a lot and opens with that. It works ''perfectly.''
61	* Ennikar briefly falls in with Kamet and Costis to keep them from being noticed by local authorities. Costis, who is feverish and a little silly, recognizes him from Kamet's stories and greets him cheerfully by name--much to Ennikar's amusement.
62
63	!!''Return of the Thief'':
64	* Attolia very easily making the Pent ambassador tie himself in verbal knots when he tries to seduce her--when he relates his king's supposed disdain of political marriage she points out that means the king doesn't love his own wife, and then suggests that Pents actually consider "cow" to be a compliment for a lady.
65	* Eugenides' riding lesson on Fryst, a horse with the "personality and temperament of a sofa" that manages to throw him three times because it stops every time it's expected to jump something.
66	* For a badly-needed break from the stress of the war, Eugenides's cousins make a bet with his attendants about who can catch Gen. Gen suggests setting some ground rules--and then ''immediately'' takes off, because the ground rules are that there aren't any. Thus ensues a palace-wide game of tag, with Gen somersaulting over his own furniture, swinging on the chandeliers, running up behind the people chasing him to tap the last one on the back, and generally turning the palace into a giant parkour course, before the answer is finally decided: nobody can catch him, he falls into an open cistern instead.
67	* Upon seeing that the Medes have elephants, Gen decides he wants some. Irene reminds him they have nowhere to put them; he suggests the guards' bathhouse, to which she counters that then the guard wouldn't have anywhere to bathe, to which ''he'' counters they can bathe in the castle cistern. This conversation eventually ends with Irene conceding that it would be cheaper to build a new stable, obviously knowing that was where he wanted this to go all along. (When they rout the Medes, she remembers to catch him some elephants, and is adorably smug about it.)

Context Funny / TheQueensThief