Line #4 Funny/TheBrakShow


1	* Anytime Dad opens his mouth, expect to hear the funniest thing you'll ever hear in your life.
2	** "I am sick of being pushed around like a stolen shopping cart full of rotten pumpkin meat!"
3	** "You found your real parents?"
4	** "Mother, people only invite you to dinner for three reasons: [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking to sell you vitamins]], to drug you and take unpleasant snapshots, or to convert you to their hideous farming religion!"
5	** "You say sewers, I say waterslide."
6	** "Brak! Stop driving your little baby car around Saint Babiesburg and take your asteroid smashing like a man!"
7	** "Moustache. No moustache."
8	** "You drive around, you run a light...maybe you honk at the ladies and they say (''high girly voice'') 'Hey, chief! Where'd you get the new ride, ah?' And you say: (''ridiculous Creator/CheechAndChong voice'') 'It's Paco's, maahn. I'm just keepin' it for him while he's in the joint. See ya later, maahn.' Then you drive away, so proud to be a nose-possessing man."
9	** (upon seeing [[AttackOfTheFiftyFootWhatever giant killer ants]]) "Holy crap, they DO wear hats!"
10	** (comparing himself to a robot) "I may not have seventeen-inch claws, but when I grip you, you know that you've been gripped!"
11	** "Son, I just learned a valuable lesson: Never cross your sweet loving mother unless--and this is a key point--unless you want your [[AnArmAndALeg arm ripped off]], and [[AssShove shoved up your ass.]]"
12	* This bit from "Hippo": "Then when I was doing my book report, Zorak pulled my pants down and everybody laughed, even me! [[DepartmentofRedundancyDepartment 'Cause it was funny,]] [[HypocriticalHumor but not to me!"]]
13	* The "Time Machine" episode features Zorak & Brak traveling back in time to force their past selves to do their homework. As Zorak formulates their plan, Brak's thoughts go to...[[CloudCuckoolander interesting places.]]
14	--> '''Zorak:''' Okay, so here's what we do: We'll go back to Friday-
15	--> '''Brak:''' And we make a kite out of squirrels, to fly to the moon!
16	--> '''Zorak:''' ...nooooo...we track ourselves down.
17	--> '''Brak:''' Then what?
18	--> '''Zorak:''' We make our ''other'' selves do the homework.
19	--> '''Brak:''' Hey, Zorak? Can I ask you a question?
20	--> '''Zorak:''' Yeah, what?
21	--> '''Brak:''' Where are we gonna find enough squirrels to make a kite?
22	--> '''Zorak:''' Are you really that stupid?
23	--> '''Brak:''' Ooh! I dare you to say that again! Only this time say: "Brak, I love you!"
24	** Later, upon coming face to face with their past selves, this exchange occurs:
25	-->'''Brak:''' Hello, my name is Brak!
26	-->'''Past Brak:''' Hello, ''my'' name is Brak!
27	-->'''Brak:''' I live in a house down the street!
28	-->'''Past Brak:''' ''I'' live in a house down the street!
29	-->'''Brak:''' I'm wearin' ''clean underwear.''
30	-->'''Past Brak:''' You are ''not!''
31	-->'''Brak:''' Whelp! Got me there!
32	-->''Both Braks break out into peals of laughter.''
33	* This dialogue in "Sexy New Brak Show Go"
34	-->'''Brak:''' 'Dad can I open the box even though it's not a recognized mealtime? Can I? Can I? Huh? Can I?
35	-->'''Dad:''' Ask your mother.
36	-->'''Brak:''' Mom, can I open the box?
37	-->'''Mom:''' Ask your father.
38	-->'''Brak:''' Dad can I open the box?
39	-->'''Dad:''' Ask your father.
40	-->'''Brak:''' Dad, how about that box?
41	-->'''Dad:''' Say it like a princess.
42	-->'''Brak:''' (girly voice) Father, may I open the box?
43	-->'''Dad:''' No no no, Princess the Cat
44	-->'''Brak:''' I don't do her.
45	-->'''Dad:''' Then you don't open the box! ... but I love you very much!
46	* Brak's little bit in "War Next Door" while dressed in a beet costume
47	--> I'm hot for ya, baby,
48	--> I'm a big old beat!
49	--> I'm red but not embarrassed,
50	--> And I am good with meat.
51	--> Of course I make an excellent borscht!
52	--> And I'm hot for ya, babaaaaaaaaaaaah!
53	* Brak spends an episode competing in staring contests. His dad tricks him into blinking several times throughout their match.
54	--->"Before a contest, it is customary to blink at each other. You go first."
55	--->"It looks like she wrote her phone number on the back of your eyelids!"
56	* Zorak takes Dad on, and immediately gets attacked by a wasps, which Dad claims love to feed on mantis eye-juice.
57	** Despite being repeatedly stung in the eyes by wasps, with both eyes swelling grotesquely, Zorak manages to never blink.
58	* At the end of the episode, a gigantic floating eyeball appears with a voice like Fat Albert, only known as "The Eye." He challenges Dad to a staring contest right before the credits.
59	--->"Float like a floating eye, sting like a floating eye! Oh yea!"
60
61	* The episode "Goldfish" during Brak's mini freakout when he finds out he can't go to the Carnival of Feet right away, complete with loud yelling and exorcist head twisting.
62	--->"Today is the day of the Carnival of Feet!
63	--->There'll be feet there and feet, and don't forget the feet.
64	--->I'll be there if I'm not somewhere else!
65	--->At the one and only Carnival of Feeeeet!"
66	** Same episode, Don Tickles, Notary Public.
67	** Same episode:
68	--->'''Brak:''' Don't talk to me mom, ''I'm a murderer!''
69	--->'''Mom:''' Oh, dear.
70	--->'''Brak:''' I'm going to bed, but I don't see how I'll ever get to sleep!
71	--->'''Brak:''' ''in bed'' Man, I love sleeping! snore Oh, I wish I could wake up so I could go back to sleep again! snore
72	** And again:
73	--->'''Brak:''' Mr. Tickles, how do you think Thundercleese is going to take this?
74	--->'''Mr. Tickles:''' Oh, my god! He'll tear your arms off!
75	--->'''Brak:''' But I love my arms! ''That's where my hands live!''
76	* Thundercleese apparently has a lightswitch [[LargeHam OF TOTAL DEVASTATION!]]
77	* Dad: Then you don't open the box! ... but I love you very much!
78	* Brak hunts down Mr. Tickles' twin brother in One Fish Lake. He finds a gold fish with a large, prospector-like beard.
79	--->"Some say he still lives here and grew a beard... BUT THAT'S A DAMN LIE!"
80	* [[NoIndoorVoice RHONDA, OF THE SEVENTH LEVEL OF YAR!]]
81	* Brak losing his freaking mind in "Braklet, Prince of Spaceland".
82	* To get Brak the okay to join him in seeing ''Ass Disaster 4'', which Zorak hints is a pornographic film, Zorak lies that the film is about donkeys. Cue Zorak's WTF reaction when he finds out the film actually ''is'' about donkeys.
83	* Any and all songs; particularly those sung by Zorak.
84	* In "Hippo", after Brak's dad gives some advice, Brak's mom replies, "Brak's not here. He ran out screaming hours ago."
85	** Just before that, Brak walks by twice crying. When Brak's mom notes there might be something wrong with him, his dad mutters, [[DysfunctionalFamily "There's something wrong with all of us, Darling."]]
86	* [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UI-NePCsTeA This exchange.]]
87	--->'''Zorak:''' Alright, whaddya wanna do?
88	--->'''Brak:''' Do you wanna make love, darling?
89	--->'''Zorak: WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME!!?'''
90	--->'''Brak:''' I wasn't talking to ''you''. I was practicing for my wedding night.
91	--->'''Zorak:''' ''What!?''
92	* In "We Ski In Peace", Dad defending his decision to spend Brak's college fund on a boat by noting that [[CloudCuckooLander 'Brak isn't college material']]. Cut to Brak standing on a roadside somewhere dopily and atonally singing a song to himself that consists entirely of the word 'do' said different ways.
93	** In the same episode, Dad gets a job at an ice cream store, and him and Clarence (the only other employee, and manager) give Thundercleese a tag team of terrible customer service, including attacking the store's ice cream with a shotgun (comically shouting with every shot) on the grounds that 'it was about to rob us', offering to put Clarence's vomit in a cone, and giving him a customer satisfaction survey with no options except for the customer to say that they are terrible - Clarence then eats the survey.
94	*** They eventually satisfy Thundercleese by giving him a 'free coupon' that turns out to be a receipt for dry cleaning.
95	** [[RuleOfThree ALSO]] in this episode, is a quick one where Zorak enters the ice cream shop, spots Clarence, shouts 'You!' and chases him offscreen for a beating, none of which is acknowledged by any other character.

Context Funny / TheBrakShow