Line #33 Funny/SomethingPositive


1	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/jason-bill-collector/ Jason: bill collector.]]
2	* Two words: [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/peejee-dragons-pt-4/ Redneck. Trees.]]
3	** This actually [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/old-familiar-faces-vi-pt-6/ gave Mike nightmares]] - caused by Tamara exploiting his fear for laughs.
4	* Jason discovers [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/hold-me-closer-tiny-jhim-pt-3/ the Dance Belt]].
5	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/stay-put/ A one strip, um, stripper, is awesome]]
6	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/alan-moore/ Even death cannot take]] Creator/AlanMoore.
7	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/there-will-be-no-apologies-for-this-comic/ This page]] is equal parts funny and {{squick}}.
8	* 3 {{Beat Panel}}s, and then "[[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/wishes/ A birthday wish granted 23 years late is still a birthday wish granted]]." (Scroll down to see the actual post, the new site setup is still having issues)
9	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/another-tragedy-pt-4/ This one!]] Jason's reaction is priceless!
10	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/cruelty-to-animals/ "Meh meh murfle meh." "Meow"]].
11	* "[[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/mike-s-favorite-author-pt-3/ BRAAAAAINS ... BRAAAAAINS ... PREFERABLY HETEROSEXUAL BRAAAAAINS ...]]"
12	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/love-stupid-love-pt-9/ Davan runs out of patience]].
13	--> '''[=PeeJee=]:''' "I didn't know you could foam like a rabid dog on command."
14	* Twitchy-Hug [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/old-familiar-faces-iv-pt-4/ tries calling Choo-Choo Bear]] after killing a DisposableSexWorker - it MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext.
15	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/kawaii-of-the-damned-pt-1/ The Catgirls are on a killing spree! EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!]]
16	** [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/kawaii-of-the-damned-pt-3/ And soon after that]]:
17	-->'''Jason''': Davan, is this how you thought we'd die?
18	-->'''Davan''': Actually Jason, yes. It's pretty much spot on save for the lack of charging zoo animals.
19	-->'''Jason''': You don't have to remind me. I can't believe '''I'm''' going to be the one to break that family tradition.
20	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/before-we-part-ways-pt-5/ Branwen's first appearance]].
21	--> '''Davan:''' "Want to come back to my place and have lots of sex?
22	--> '''Branwen:''' "Okay."
23	--> '''Aubrey:''' "I meant something you could do here, Davan...with your clothing on!"
24	* In a filler strip, Randy posts [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/lost-sketches-pt-7/ a sketch of his mother]], filled with heartwarming information about the woman - [[MoodWhiplash until]].
25	-->''She's also the most venom-tongued human being I've ever known. She taught me how to slam into someone [[BreakThemByTalking on levels that will have someone shaking with horror and revulsion for days later]], but I've never been able to reach her prowess. [[BewareTheNiceOnes And she does it all with a sweet, motherly smile on her face]]. I love my mom.''
26	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/holy-ghost-stories-pt-3/ "No, I don't see how two consentin' adults choosin' to get married is like a farmer marryin' his pig. Are you comparin' my daughter to a pig?" "No! No! Let me find a better analogy, large angry man"]]
27	* Davan learns what an {{UsefulNotes/Otherkin}} is - specifically, [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/how-the-other-half-live-pt-6/ the ones who think they're reincarnations of fictional characters]].
28	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/jingle-hell-pt-5/ "My Mommy says you're a pagan representation designed to steal glory from Christ and I should tell you you're gonna burn in Hell forever. I want a Barbie."]]
29	** The same girl attends an Easter Egg hunt, [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/here-comes-kestrel-cottontail-pt-3/ and she's still wearing that scarf for "protection"]].
30	--->'''Girl''': My mom says you can't be too careful at events like this. They let just anybody show up and she says if I'm not careful, I'll catch an airborn disease, like atheist or negro.
31	* Fred [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/on-each-other-s-nerves/ gets into an argument with Choo-Choo Bear]].
32	* Aubrey [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/stay-warm/ asks Jason why it's so cold]], and he makes a ''literal'' MythologyGag [[Myth/ClassicalMythology out of it]].
33	* [=PeeJee=] says something that disturbs ''both'' [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/roles/ Davan and his father]].
34	* Aubrey [[GoneHorriblyRight stumbles ass-backwards]] [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/caustic-calls/ into a new $2000/month subscriber]].
35	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/dumb-ideas/ "Everyone knows you keep the pointy parts aimed away."]] Poor lil' Choo-Choo Bear.
36	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/mew/ Jason learns an important lesson about cats.]]
37	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/afterbirth-afterthought/ After Rory realizes that]] [[ScreamingAtSquick Davan had sex]] [[ParentalSexualitySquick with his mom.]]
38	** And during the denouement, Vanessa reassures Donna that Davan had already told her about their fling... [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/deep-truths/ and that Donna has "been inside me. Deep inside me.]]"
39	* It's from a filler, but what the hell: [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/what-i-draw-when-i-m-bored/ My life be a nightmare.]]
40	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/oops/ Rawr.]]
41	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/childhood-mementos/ I was the Columbus of girl-on-girl...]] [[AGoodNameForARockBand Magellan on a sea of dongs.]]
42	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/on-each-other-s-nerves/ "Meh!" "MEH!"]]
43	* Davan makes a teasing quip about cheating on Vanessa - [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/differences/ she doesn't take it well]].
44	* Rory spends the entire day pestering Davan about going to the Haunted House - [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/rory-s-first-haunt-pt-3/ and immediately chickens out when they get there]].
45	** [=PeeJee=] gives Rory [[GenreBlind a glass of water while they wait in line]] - [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/rory-s-first-haunt-pt-4/ Davan not-so-subtly hints]] why [[BringMyBrownPants that was a dumb idea]].
46	*** Surprisingly, that's ''not'' [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/rory-s-first-haunt-pt-5/ how the water causes a scene]].
47	* Fred's entire stay with Monette and Lisa [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/organized-lies/ is filled with hilarity from day one]] through [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/the-final-push/ "Oh god, why did I touch that?" having multiple layers]].
48	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/fair-comparison/ Davan's belief that pets are better than kids.]]
49	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/first-day/ "So who had a fun first day at kindergarten?" "No one. I made sure."]]
50	* "[[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/don-t-eat-the-porridge/ So Papa Bear's like]] [[Film/TheTexasChainsawMassacre Leatherface]]? He's [[InnocentInnuendo Leather-Bear]]!"
51	** Bonus awkward points for the game being hosted at a gay couple's house.
52	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/clowns-ahoy-pt-6/ "Between two evils, I choose the competent one."]]
53	* It's one thing when [=PeeJee=] knocks over Faye's urn and winds up spilling her ashes all over herself. [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/misplaced-pt-5/ The punchline]] and Fred's initial deadpan reaction is what makes it comedy gold, though.
54	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/pi-day/ "Where's your god now? Trick question! I baked him in a pie!]]
55	* Davan explains [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/not-so-clever/ why he'd never make a good criminal]].
56	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/planning-ahead/ What Randy wants done with his body after he dies.]]
57	* Kharisma [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/while-you-were-gone/ finally trolling]] [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/expecting/ Fluffmodeus]] [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/even-miss-me/ back]]
58	* [=PamJee=] is suspiciously happy about being punished, going above and beyond and [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/perfect-explanation/ impressing Jason]] by saying that [[DaddysGirl she wanted to do right by him]] more than their neighbor. As he leaves the room, however...
59	-->'''[=PamJee=]''': Operation [[TheFakeCutie More Flies With Honey]] is go, Agent Woogs. Trust is officially gained. This is gonna be the best summer ever.
60	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/dream-daddy/ Tamara invites Mike]] to play ''VisualNovel/DreamDaddy''.
61	** And [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/dream-date/ he meets up with Jason the next day]] to discuss how obsessed he is with the game.
62	--->'''Jason''': ...just so we're clear, Mike, I'm not [[UsefulNotes/{{Polyamory}} poly]].\
63	'''Mike''': '''You might be if I could figure out your minigame'''!
64	* Randy [[RealityIsUnrealistic actually gets a visit]] from [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/a-magical-birthday/ the Midlife Scrotal Fairy]].
65	-->'''TheRant''': [[ObligatoryJoke Insert "Coin Purse" joke here.]]
66	* Randy and his wife [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/greetings/ greet their new baby]], which averted CleanPrettyChildbirth.
67	-->'''Randy''': We made a goddamn {{Film/CHUD}} baby.\
68	'''Stephanie''': You and your high fructose corn spunk, Mr. Ten Sodas a Day!
69	* [=PamJee=] gets detention [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/up-up-and-oh-no/ for making everyone sad]] by talking about how Jerry Siegel and Joel Shuster were both [[StealingTheCredit screwed over by the comics industry]].
70	* And with more baby stories, [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/baby-talk/ Randy illustrates what he think his child would tell him]].
71	* Rory gets [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/safety-films/ a summer job at]] a [[CrappyCarnival run-down amusement park]], and is shown a safety reel.
72	-->'''Narrator''': Prepare yourself for... [[GroinAttack circumcision]] at sixty miles per hour!\
73	'''Rory''': Has this ever happened?\
74	'''Coworker''': I'd hate to ruin the surprises of the Employee Museum of "Holy Shit, Do I Return This or Make It Into a Keychain?"
75	** He's later assigned to a Dark Ride where customers routinely go down on each other and [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/job-with-a-bite/ said action ends up on camera]]. Management decided to fix the problem by adding a sudden bump near the end...
76	--->'''Rory''': [[BigOMG Oh my god]]! Both rows of her teeth are touching!\
77	'''Manager''': Behold! [[GroinAttack Chomp-cam]]! So, your job here will be simple. How are you at [[NoSympathy pointing and laughing]]?
78	* Chirag tells [=PeeJee=] about a Halloween date he had [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/trick-or-date/ that he purposely screwed around with]].
79	-->'''[=PeeJee=]''': I think I know why you don't get a lot of second dates.\
80	'''Chirag''': Sometimes it's not about the dicks that come back but the dicks [[MomentKiller that wither at your memory]].
81	* Rory talks Davan into taking him to a wrestling show three ''hours'' away from home, for one simple reason: [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/the-best-part/ he saw a picture of]] a [[HormoneAddledTeenager hot devil-costumed wrestler]].
82	** Later, [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/in-passing/ Rory gets a chance to meet that wrestler]], only to find out that he's talking to his ''[[OlderThanTheyLook grandchild]]''.
83	--->'''Gris''': ''Grandpa! Is your merch table ready? This kid thinks [[SilverFox you're a total G.I.L.F.]]! Give him the "Awkward Crush" discount on your eight-by-tens!''
84	** When said wrestler approaches Davan, Davan [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/a-cautious-threat/ calls him "giant lap bulge Satan"]], and continues joking about it through the bit.
85	** Gris [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/fold/ admits their own crush on a wrestler to Rory]], but it goes... to a very ''weird'' place.
86	* Gris lets Rory know that he can get into a show for free if he helps set up and break down the ring, [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/ring-rat/ and he's excited about being a "ring rat"]] - Gris [[YouKeepUsingThatWord informs him that that's NOT what it means]], and actually refers to women who hang around after the show in the hopes of sleeping with one of the wrestlers.
87	-->'''Rory''': Asking for future legal Rory - does it have to be a woman?
88	* Hugh is surprised when [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/jaded/ PeeJee doesn't show any fear at his new puppet design]].
89	-->'''[=PeeJee=]''': Well, I mean, I'm jaded 'cuz more [[AllAnimeIsNaughtyTentacles hentai]] than your seven year old audience... [-[[AnimationAgeGhetto I hope]]-].
90	* A new chicken place [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/cluck-cluck/ opens across the street from PeeJee's bar]] - "Cluck Me Harder Family Restaurant". (The logo is a hen coyly pouring gravy on her NonMammalMammaries). [=PeeJee=] and Davan boggle at such blatant SexSells for a ''family'' restaurant.
91	-->'''[=PeeJee=]''': I'd ask the owner [[BigScrewedUpFamily what his family is like]] but I don't wanna step on some therapist's toes.
92	** And while the owner claims he's not pandering to -- or even aware of -- the UsefulNotes/FurryFandom, [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/all-in/ his new mascot costume]] can only be described as a fursuit.
93	--->'''Davan''': Ever get a cramp from [[SarcasmFailure too many snide comments bubbling up at once]]?
94	*** Even weirder is that [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/interior-design/ his food is genuinely amazing]], but the artwork he has hanging on the walls...
95	---->'''[=PeeJee=]''': Imagine the worst furry art in the darkest corners of the web. Now imagine whoever drew that saying, "[[EveryoneHasStandards Take it down a notch]]."
96	* After Fred's death on Halloween 2020, [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/new-experiences/ we get a flashback strip]] to Vanessa asking Davan what he wanted for the New Year - he said he wanted to learn something new and have a new experience. Cut to panel four, where he's doing research on [[BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor how to plan and have a funeral during a pandemic]].
97	* [[https://somethingpositive.net/comic/look-natural/ Right before Fred's funeral]], the funeral director reassures Davan that the people who prepared Fred's body did their best to make him look natural.
98	--> '''Davan:''' ''[Staring into his father's casket]'' I dunno.\
99	'''Funeral Director:''' As I said before, we can't rig the coffin so he randomly insults people.\

Context Funny / SomethingPositive