Line #15 Funny/HackSlash


1	* In ''Girls Gone Dead'', Cassie is searching for the MonsterOfTheWeek, and decides to check in hotel rooms that are marked as "do not clean". The first three rooms, in order, are an obese and half-naked man watching TV and eating pork rinds, a couple having sex, and [[CrossesTheLineTwice a room of little people sliding around on the floor with baby oil]].
2	-->'''Cassie:''' ''Sweet fancy Moses.''
3	* In ''Land of Lost Toys'', Cassie Hack [[http://i200.photobucket.com/albums/aa248/taelor_mcclurg/CassieVsPokemon.png versus Pokemon.]]
4	-->'''Cassie:''' (''hacking Pokemon expies to bits'') Come get it you lil' fuckers! Lil' Japanese gut bags! Yeah, that's right! Only good for giving seizures, ain't ya!
5	* In ''Slashing Through the Snow'', we have Cassie annoyed that she has to adhere to RhymesOnADime, but the real hilarity comes when [[BadSanta Rudolph]] tries to escape her and Vlad's trap by ChimneyEntry to get out... [[EpicFail only to get stuck]]. It’s so embarrassing that Cassie and Vlad mutually decide he's NotWorthKilling, and leave him to the cops.
6	* In the ''Slice Hard'' prelude, Cassie and Vlad can hear Acid Angel making out with her mark. Cassie is a bit disgusted by the sexual talk, and tells Vlad she knows she'll have to deal with him getting worked up and giving flirting and innuendo. Unable to pick the lock to the room, she requests the help of Vlad, who is eating a hot dog. Cassie's weirded out face when he replies is priceless.
7	-->'''Vlad:''' Here. [[ThatCameOutWrong Hold my wiener.]]
8	* In ''Slice Hard'', when Acid Angel tells the other slashers she can burn through the wall into the room where their weapons are, but she can only produce acid when she's turned on.
9	-->'''[[EnfantTerrible Ashley]]''': "Yeah, my old Speak N' Say didn't work unless I turned it on either."\
10	(cue SexyDiscretionShot of Acid Angel moaning while the wall dissolves)\
11	'''Acid Angel''': "Mmmm... There ya go, boys. Yours for the taking."\
12	'''Ashley''': "That's ''not'' how I turned on my Speak N' Say."
13	* In ''Vs. Chucky'', Cassie has [[EnemyMine to team up with]] [[Film/ChildsPlay Chucky the Killer Doll]] in order to help Vlad, whose body has been stolen by Laura Lochs. The team up between a teenage SerialKillerKiller and an AxCrazy PerversePuppet goes [[TeethClenchedTeamwork about as well as you would expect]], and a few nice hijinks ensue, such as Cassie stopping Chucky from randomly trying to kill a girl for fun, Chucky teasingly offering her to "[[UnusualEuphemism ride the Chuck Truck]]", or this exchange:
14	--->'''Chucky''' (watching Cassie take care of Vlad): You guys are real sweet-like. Taking care of each other. [[SickeninglySweet Make me wanna puke]].\
15	'''Cass''': [[DeadpanSnarker Yeah, you're just jealous because G.I. Joe and Barbie don't hang out with you anymore.]]
16	** Similarly, Laura Lochs apparently has ''a lot'' of fun going around in Vlad's body:
17	--->'''Laura''' (in Vlad's body, singing): This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine! (to her zombified minions) Come on! Sing with me! This little light of mine... (the zombies predictably just stand there drooling, showing no reaction)... you guys are, like, no fun.
18	** In a more BlackComedy sort of humor, Cassie goes to interrogate Papa Sugar, a Voodoo practitioner who turns out to be Chucky's former teacher's brother, and who he mentions once stole a girl from him. When Cassie talks with him, Sugar ends up injecting her with a substance to paralyze her and [[AttemptedRape attempts to rape her]]... [[BigDamnHero only for Chucky, of all people]] [[BadGuysDoTheDirtyWork to come to the rescue]]. The Killer Doll shows up, snarkily comments Sugar is trying to "steal his girl" again, and makes an interesting remake of the voodoo scene from his first movie:
19	--->'''Chucky''' (showing the doll): Found your little self voodoo doll. Been sticking pick in it since I got here. It don't work for shit. [...] Now I say we skip the middle man. Who needs doll... when you can put pins right into the man? (shoots Sugar with a nailgun)
20	** Then there is Chucky's reaction to hearing Laura's MotiveRant and her referring to him as a "demon":
21	--->'''Chucky''': "Demon"? This is lame. I wanna stab something.
22	* In ''Gross Anatomy'', we see the time when Vlad decided to join up with Cassie in the first place. He says that his face usually leads him to [[{{Malaproper}} truffles]], and when corrected to "troubles", he agrees also those.
23	* Some of Cassie and Margaret's discussions in ''Tub Club'' can be very amusing, especially given they are some of the few times Cassie actually enjoys herself.
24	-->'''Cassie:''' Nah, just got done picking fruit. Ha ha ha! No, [[ClosetKey that’s not a euphemism]].
25	* In ''The Coldest Dish''
26	** Cassie is going over her list of possible aliases for her DisappearedDad, and ends up accidentally checking out a guy who walks by her table.
27	--->'''Cassie:''' (''thinking'') Did I just... I did. I totally just stared that guy down. I looked him up and down. Like people do when they wonder what someone looks like without clothes. What their "Oh God!" face looks like. Okay. ''Stop.''
28	** Shortly thereafter, she realizes that while thinking about how she has difficulty falling in love despite being horny on occasion and barely knowing what a crush feels like, she's [[TomboyWithAGirlyStreak absently doodling the word "Georgia" with small flowers drawn around her name on the notebook she's using]].
29	--->'''Cassie:''' (''thinking'') ''Gyaaah!'' Stop thinking.
30	** Chris's capture of Pooch. After his first reaction to being given his first mission as a Hack/Slash, Inc. member by Cassie[[note]]"I hate you."[[/note]], he spends his time driving around with a van covered in Cassie's used panties. [[RefugeInAudacity It works.]]
31	* In ''Murder/Suicide'':
32	** Cassie decides to see a trashy film, "Bikini Carwash", but doesn’t have enough money for two tickets, so she has Vlad go and come back to tell the jokes. [[CannotTellAJoke He’s not very good at it...]] so the first thing she asks Chris when he calls about a job is what he can say about it.
33	** Chris on the [=SuicideGirls=] concept.
34	--->'''Chris:''' Now, ready for the best news ''ever''? Well, I mean... bad news for them, but good news for ''us''. Or... well... for ''me''. Bad for the ''victims'', but good for...\
35	'''Cassie:''' ''English, please.''\
36	'''Chris:''' ''[=SuicideGirls=]!''\
37	'''Cassie:''' [[PopCulturalOsmosisFailure Do you wanna call back after the Cocoa Puffs have worn off?]]\
38	'''Chris:''' [=SuicideGirls.com=]. It's a website... [[MsFanservice super-hot]]-punk-rock-{{goth}}-{{emo}}-girls ([[DiggingYourselfDeeper like yourself]]) getting naked.\
39	'''Cassie:''' [[ThisIsGonnaSuck I don't like where this is going.]]\
40	''after discussing the basis of the [[PsychicAssistedSuicide case]]''\
41	'''Chris:''' ''Man!'' Just thinking of all those hot girls lounging around that office in their torn lingerie and their Bauhaus T-shirts is giving me a [[RagingStiffie major rager]].\
42	'''Cassie:''' [[SarcasmMode Thanks, Chris.]] I'm gonna go see if anyone's invented "[[BrainBleach mind bleach]]". Cassie out.
43	*** And then he ''[[AllMenArePerverts keeps going]]'' when she gets to the offices in UsefulNotes/LosAngeles.
44	---->'''Chris:''' Okay, are there naked girls lounging around, and if so, does your phone have ''camera'' capabilities?\
45	'''Cassie:''' There is something ''so'' wrong with you.
46	** In BlackComedy, the method by which Salome survived her PsychicAssistedSuicide. She put a screwdriver in an electrical outlet... but was standing on a rubber sex toy. Drake even gives an AsideGlance when it comes up.
47	** The InUniverse justification for the {{Defictionalization}} of Cassie as a Suicide Girl. She is ''not'' happy about the photo shoot, and even less when it comes up again in ''Super Sidekick Sleepover Slaughter prequel'' on the radio. Even having the idea implied as [[AllMenArePerverts Chris]] having given it, Cassie knows before it is even stated and gives a preemptive {{facepalm}}.
48	** Vlad asks if he can see the photos. Cassie's [[NoJustNoReaction reaction]] says it all.
49	** When preparing to fight [[PsychoElectro D1ab0liq]], Cassie asks for as much rubber equipment as they have around Drake's apartment. This results in one of the rubber pieces Cassie wears being a [[ComicBook/TheIncredibleHulk Hulk hand]] that keeps saying "Smash!", which nobody comments on.
50	* In a helping of pure BlackComedy that CrossesTheLineTwice in the second installment of the ''ComicBook/{{Nailbiter}}'' crossover, Cassie finds her way to the Buckaroo Museum of Serial Murder. In the gift shop, they have "Lunch Lady Gravy", meant to serve "face-meltingly hot". Considering she ''watched'' [[KnightTemplarParent the Lunch Lady]] [[DrivenToSuicide dunk her face in scalding hot gravy]], she is less than amused.
51	* In ''[=BUMPed=]''[[note]]''Interlude'' in collected editions[[/note]]:
52	** We finally see Milk and Cheese. They’re a bit creepy, but mostly hilariously bizarre, befitting their AcidRefluxNightmare. The fact that the nightmare treats them completely seriously beforehand just makes it better.
53	--->'''Cheese:''' Our special tonight is [[NoHoldsBarredBeatdown a prolonged beating ugly enough to make a coroner vomit.]]\
54	'''Milk:''' This will be accompanied by a lusty rendition of the Bugaloos' theme song. [[FauxHorrific In half-assed German accents, of course.]]
55	** Phil O'Grady, who has a very obvious crush on Cassie that even she notices, at one point tries to drunkenly come on to her. In most cases, the sheer age disparity would be disturbing, but due to how proficient she is in combat, coupled with how easily she keeps him away with just a hand on his forehead, it comes across as humorously pathetic to the point that she is ''embarrassed'' for him and claims that someone at the door is his dignity.
56	** Later, when about to attack a mansion, Cassie instructs O'Grady that [[MyEyesAreUpHere the targets they’re hunting will be to shoot at eye level, and not at the level of her ass]].
57	** Chris is having a hard time having sex with Lisa, due to Pooch outside. After bringing him in (but not allowed to bring him upstairs because he stares at them as they have sex) and learning that Lisa lost the mood, he starts watching porn... only to find Pooch watching him "pet [his] pink thing". The result is a scream of {{angrish}}.
58	* From ''Over the Rainbow''. Keep in mind that this is in the van [[DescriptionCut immediately after showing Margaret declare Cassie the "scariest, baddest ass chick in the whole damn world"]]:
59	-->'''Cassie''': Woah, did you just fart?\
60	'''Vlad''': No, I did not.\
61	'''Cassie'''(grinning): Oh. Cuz I just did.\
62	''Vlad silently ducks down and comes back up wearing his gas mask''
63	* In ''Closer'':
64	** Chris takes Pooch out to do his business. He neglects to pick it up afterwards... so [[ButtMonkey Kyle]] [[ToiletHumor steps in it]].
65	** Chris is made to explain what happened to his and Lisa's house (which had been damaged in the fight against [[EliteMook Kuma]]) when he first meets Maggie. His response? [[SarcasticConfession "Giant alien attack."]]
66	** In her first fight with the Black Lamp Society, [[BadassInDistress Cassie]] is forced to use any weapons she can get her hands on, as always. The thing is, given the FrameUp nature of the capture to make her look a lot less pure than she is, she ends up using ''a giant dildo'' to block and disarm someone, which even she finds ridiculous.
67	* In ''Mind Killer'':
68	** In the first issue of the arc, Chris reveals to Pooch that he’s putting together an archive of friends and enemies so as to get in contact with Cassie if she gets in trouble again. [[LemonyNarrator The rest of the issue includes each and every character involved get a social media-like profile introduction with their name, aliases (if available), primary specialties, and mood, which get to be increasingly humorous.]]
69	*** Cassie's specialties are stated to include "well-timed [[OneLiner one-liners]]".
70	*** Vlad's specialties include "[[TheComicallySerious inadvertently]] [[{{Malaproper}} humorous]] one-liners".
71	*** Six Sixx's mood after he is given enhanced powers [[ShoutOut is]] [[Music/MotleyCrue Dr. Feelgood]]
72	** The first words Samhain says to Cassie that she remembers are... asking for some change to help her make a collect call at a truck stop.
73	** The fact that Gertrude followed a dream of the "Gods of Metal" to Montana. It’s as ridiculous as it sounds, and Cassie even rolls her eyes at it.
74	* In ''Double Feature – Blood Blower,'' during the entire ChristmasEpisode, we are subjected to Pooch's attempts to sing. They’re apparently so completely awful even Cassie consider killing him. Even before that, Cassie considers [[ShoutOut cutting him open and crawling inside]] like a [[Film/TheEmpireStrikesBack tauntaun]] to escape the cold, and asks if he likely smells better on the inside or the outside.
75	* In ''Sons of Man''
76	** Samhain comes to a club, looking for [[DefectorFromDecadence Louis]]. After a JackBauerInterrogationTechnique in a bathroom stall, a man walks up to it, and he calmly walks out, saying it’s all his. [[NotWhatItLooksLike Louis is also in the stall, sitting on the toilet]] [[BringMyBrownPants and having wet himself]].
77	--->'''Louis:''' [[PreemptiveShutUp Not one word, motherfucker!]]
78	** [[TeamPet Pooch]] absentmindedly tells Chris about how he was born, a story which involves {{Eldritch Abomination}}s, naughty tentacles and loads of squick. At first, it looks like Chris isn't even listening, but after Pooch finishes, he, after a bit of silence, states "[[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain Don’t]] ''[[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain ever]]'' [[LetUsNeverSpeakOfThisAgain tell me that story again.]]"
79	* In ''Foes and Fortunes'', Cassie enters the scene in the middle of an EroticDream about Samhain. Vlad comes to the van, and sees her... "drilling for maiden water". When Cassie wakes up and [[CaughtWithYourPantsDown realizes what is happening]], her reaction is priceless.
80	-->'''Cassie:''' (''covers herself hastily with her shirt'') [[GetOut OOOOOUUUUT!!!!]]
81	* Cassie and Vlad disguising themselves as Sister Sacrilege and Altar Boy in ''Super Sidekick Sleepover Slaughter''. Apparently Anjelica (the first Sister Sacrilege) [[CasualKink has a gimp mask in her "odds and ends"]].
82	* From ''Fame Monster'':
83	-->'''Neflord 1''': I/we will fill that one with seed first.\
84	'''Neflord 2''': That one is male.\
85	'''Neflord 1''': But so pretty!
86	* From ''Hack/Slash/Eva Monster's Ball'', we have a FullFrontalAssault while trying to infiltrate a MadScientist's lair.
87	-->'''Cassie:''' All this crazy shit going on, and I ''still'' can't stop looking at his ''dick''.\
88	'''Shepherd:''' I know. God help me, I ''know''.
89	* Cassie in ''Monster Baiting'': "I let my guard down, just for a second, and this is what I get. I should have known this was going to end with me ''punching a dinosaur in the brain''."

Context Funny / HackSlash