Line #75 Funny/ACureForLove


1	* Matt's humming the ''Franchise/StarWars'' "Imperial March" when Kira enters [[TheOmniscientCouncilOfVagueness the meeting room.]]
2	* Light [[HeroicBSOD is a bit traumatized]] when he realizes [[SlashFic he is attracted to L]]:
3	-->'''Light:''' I am sorry though. Really. I think I was confused.
4	-->'''L:''' You ''were'' confused?
5	-->'''Light:''' Hmm.
6	-->'''L:''' But you're not anymore.
7	-->'''Light:''' No. Well, a little. Mostly embarrassed and... [[ThereAreNoTherapists maybe I should see a psychiatrist?]]
8	-->'''L:''' [[EvenTheGuysWantHim Do I really have that effect?]]
9	-->'''Light:''' No!
10	-->'''L:''' Look, we'll forget about it. These things happen, I'm sure. I've read accounts of soldiers in the Belgian Congo being taken unaware by... waking up in the night and hormones and bad things.
11	-->'''Light:''' You have? Soldiers in the Belgian Congo?
12	-->'''L:''' [[ManlyGay They're very manly.]]
13	-->'''Light:''' They must be.
14	-->'''L:''' [[DeadpanSnarker And the Spartans. Remember the Spartans.]]
15	* [[BlackComedy The title of Chapter 7]]: [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LvrWSKZhJUM "Boyfriend in a Coma"]]
16	* L teases Light about his name:
17	-->'''L''': Just go to sleep. You... ha, you go out like a [[PunnyName light.]]
18	-->'''Light''': [[NeverHeardThatOneBefore I've heard them all before, L,]] [[IfItWasFunnyTheFirstTime and they weren't funny the first time.]]
19	* From Chapter 12:
20	-->'''Light''': [[TransparentCloset I'm not gay.]]
21	-->'''L''': Oh, my apologies, I forgot that you're the sexual scourge of womankind. You obviously only have sex with me because you roll over in your sleep and misjudge the distance. Maybe you're SleepWalking... or maybe the term, 'sleepfucking', would be more appropriate. Maybe you're completely unaware of what you're doing.
22	-->'''Light''': It happens.
23	* This moment from Chapter 16:
24	--> ''Sometime ago, Matsuda had left a post-it on one of the laptops in which he'd accidentally managed to wedge a biro into the CD drive in an attempt to extricate something.'' \
25	''"Pen is stuck in drive"'' \
26	''Only the 'pen' and 'is' were written too close together. L now had a 'penis stuck in drive' post-it stuck on his laptop screen. He was considering framing it.''
27	* From the deleted scenes in ''[[http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6866923/1/Last_Night_I_Dreamt_Somebody_Loved_Me Last Night I Dreamt Somebody Loved Me]]'', there is an alternative plotline where L is gone [[spoiler: [[FakingTheDead (he faked his death)]]]] [[AntagonistInMourning leaving Light a broken mess.]] Light [[IntoxicationEnsues kills a bottle of sake]] as he commiserates with [[VoiceWithAnInternetConnection Near over the voice connection.]] [[WhatDidIDoLastNight Light wakes up the next morning with a massive hangover and realizes, to his horror, that Near stayed on the line all night and heard everything...]]
28	-->'''Near:''' You snore.
29	** The content of Light's drunken ramblings was apparently quite disturbing as Near relates this to [[spoiler: L]] by way of Mello:
30	-->'''Mello''' (to [[spoiler: L]]): [[ILoveTheDead I get the impression that he's going dig up the grave]] and crack open [[spoiler: your]] coffin like some fucked up [[Literature/WutheringHeights Heathcliff.]]
31	* Another one from the deleted scnees: [[SugarWiki/{{WAFF}} Light and L do a]] CrosswordPuzzle together:
32	-->'''Light''': OK, 5 across. Dunderhead, 7 letters...
33	-->'''L''': Matsuda.
34	-->'''Light''': Ha. Not funny. I think it's...Ryuzaki...no, sorry, my mistake, it must be halfwit.
35	-->'''L''': The answer is always the obvious one, Light-kun. I think you're making a mistake.
36	-->'''Light''': Right and down...
37	-->'''L''': Is that an offer or are you asking? This is a ridiculous crossword. Have we two, apparently the greatest minds of our age, really been reduced to doing a quick crossword?
38	-->'''Light''': It's the best we have. Stop being a child.
39	-->'''L''': Do you like the crossword more than me?
40	-->'''Light''': It talks less.
41	-->'''L''': And afterwards you can wipe your arse with it.
42	-->'''Light''': You're speaking in English again.
43	-->'''L''': I thought that you liked it when I talked.
44	-->'''Light''': No, that's a misunderstanding on your part.
45
46	* L's response when Souichiro discovers Light's [[EverybodyKnewAlready secret relationship]] with L and essentially [[YouAreGrounded grounds him]]- looks like Kira needs to go home to mommy.
47	* Light's InnerMonologue after getting shot in the arm. [[InsaneTrollLogic He somehow, illogically, thought it would hurt less since]] [[GambitRoulette he planned for it.]]
48	* After "N" contacts the taskforce:
49	-->'''Light''': I wonder what N stands for... 'Nobody', 'Notus', 'Nomad', 'Nincompoop', 'Norman', 'Nemo', 'Neo'... 'Norris', '[[{{Irony}} Nathaniel]]', 'Noah', 'Ned', 'Nando', 'Napoleon', 'Nelson', 'Nickelodeon', 'Nicodemus'...
50	-->'''L''': Near... It stands for Near, Light. Remember it. I'm glad that you're showing an interest though, for I never expected any less of you. However, I am most insulted on his behalf that you think that he could be named after [[WesternAnimation/FindingNemo a lost fish]] or Creator/KeanuReeves.
51	* Matt and Kira's first meeting:
52	--> "'Ello luv."
53	--> Light could hardly make the boy out for the orange googles which covered most of his face. He looked at him like he was observing a uninspiring-looking insect in a tank.
54	--> "Pardon?" Light replied.
55	--> "[[ExpectingSomeoneTaller I don't know what I was expecting, but it wasn't you,]]" the boy said. He was shorter than Light, more delicately built – like [[PerkyGoth a scene kid]] - auburn haired, a slightly celtic affair. And he was speaking to Light in English. Oh, the presumption. Light rolled his eyes.
56	--> "Could you get out of my face please?"
57	--> "Don't you want to hear my chat up lines ?"
58	--> "No."
59	--> Oh God. [[TransparentCloset Was it like he had a 'Hello, I'm Light. Ask me about gayness!' badge on his jacket. Was he doomed to be propositioned in shopping malls for the rest of his life now? Was there a whole other language and etiquette which he didn't know about?]]
60	--> "Where have you been all my life? Etc." the boy continued unabashed. He looked like he found the whole thing too amusing.
61	--> "Trying to avoid you," Light replied.
62	--> "Ha. Anyway, Ducky - I've got a message for you!"
63	--> "Oh?"
64	--> "Mmmm..."
65	--> "What kind of message? Would it include a 12 pack of lager, a bottle of cider and a Barry White compilation? Because if it does then I think I'm fine right here, thank you all the same. How old are you anyway?"
66	--> "Old enough."
67	--> "Well, sorry but you've got to be 'this' tall to get on this ride."
68	--> He couldn't quite believe that he'd said that.
69	--> "That's rude. And I don't need to bother with the lager. People tend to just fall into my bed without it. [[{{Irony}} You're socially a bit awkward, y'know?"]]
70	* [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness Matt realizes that things are serious when he learns that Mello gave L his chocolate.]]
71	* Matt has the following to say about Mikami:
72	-->'''Matt''': He's always prissy, sitting at his desk like, 'I'm the king of you' to everyone and then Kira prances in and ol' Miki's literally throwing himself on the ground all, 'Take me up the arse, oh mighty one.' Bloody eejit.
73	* When L returns to HQ [[EvilIsNotWellLit to find Light]] [[CornerOfWoe sitting in the dark]]:
74	-->'''L''' (to Light): Did you forget where the light switch was or are you endeavouring to save on our carbon footprint?
75	* Light says the following to L [[OpenMouthInsertFoot without really thinking about what he said]] [[MurderIsTheBestSolution because killing people who annoy him has almost become an automatic response]]:
76	-->'''Light''': [[FriendlyEnemy You're not trying to do something stupid are you?]]
77	-->'''L''': I'm not doing anything stupid, Light. Apart from speaking to you.
78	-->'''Light''': [[KillYouLast Good, because I would hate to kill you.]]
79	-->'''L''': [[DeadpanSnarker Mmm... I'm sure you would.]]
80	* L has this exchange with Mello after Light [[spoiler: ran off to TakeOverTheWorld]] and [[MetaphoricallyTrue L tells everyone that Light is dead:]]
81	-->'''L:''' [[BlatantLies Light Yagami is dead]] and there's nothing I can do to help him now.
82	-->'''Mello:''' You can't blame yourself, L. [[NoLongerWithUs He's in a better place.]]
83	-->'''L:''' Pffff... [[DeadpanSnarker Yes. He certainly is.]]
84	* In a practical [[EvilOverlordList move Light has all his]] {{Mooks}} wear helpful "Hello my name is..." nametags in case they step out of line.
85	* When L wakes up Light in the middle of the night to inform him he's [[spoiler: about to blow up his building]]:
86	-->'''Light:''' Oh God. This is too much! I was sleeping there. Do you even know what time it is?
87	-->'''L:''' Yes, but this kind of operation is not known for good manners. Nice pyjamas.
88	* L and Light are as quarrelsome as ever:
89	-->'''Light:''' By the way, I'm having your HQ torn down. What do think of that? Someone will probably build a public toilet on there.
90	-->'''L:''' Seems like an appropriate tribute to our little contretemps. I approve. Will you put up a plaque? 'On this spot, Kira and L did battle and various other things. No good came from it. Shit in peace.
91	* When Mello barges in to kill Light and [[DeathSeeker L gets in his way]]:
92	-->'''L''' (to Mello): When you shoot, try to hit this shoulder, not this one. On cold days this one aches like a bastard and reminds me of Light. I suppose that it is only right that I should have a matching pair.
93	* L and Light have a slight problem when [[spoiler: trying to turn over a new leaf]]:
94	-->'''Light:''' L, when you've been [[EvilOverlord who I've been]], you can't exactly get a job in a service station.
95	---
96

Context Funny / ACureForLove