1 | * Anytime Dad opens his mouth, expect to hear the funniest thing you'll ever hear in your life. |
2 | ** "I am sick of being pushed around like a stolen shopping cart full of rotten pumpkin meat!" |
3 | ** "You found your real parents?" |
4 | ** "Mother, people only invite you to dinner for three reasons: [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking to sell you vitamins]], to drug you and take unpleasant snapshots, or to convert you to their hideous farming religion!" |
5 | ** "You say sewers, I say waterslide." |
6 | ** "Brak! Stop driving your little baby car around Saint Babiesburg and take your asteroid smashing like a man!" |
7 | ** "Moustache. No moustache." |
8 | ** "You drive around, you run a light...maybe you honk at the ladies and they say (''high girly voice'') 'Hey, chief! Where'd you get the new ride, ah?' And you say: (''ridiculous Creator/CheechAndChong voice'') 'It's Paco's, maahn. I'm just keepin' it for him while he's in the joint. See ya later, maahn.' Then you drive away, so proud to be a nose-possessing man." |
9 | ** (upon seeing [[AttackOfTheFiftyFootWhatever giant killer ants]]) "Holy crap, they DO wear hats!" |
10 | ** (comparing himself to a robot) "I may not have seventeen-inch claws, but when I grip you, you know that you've been gripped!" |
11 | ** "Son, I just learned a valuable lesson: Never cross your sweet loving mother unless--and this is a key point--unless you want your [[AnArmAndALeg arm ripped off]], and [[AssShove shoved up your ass.]]" |
12 | * This bit from "Hippo": "Then when I was doing my book report, Zorak pulled my pants down and everybody laughed, even me! [[DepartmentofRedundancyDepartment 'Cause it was funny,]] [[HypocriticalHumor but not to me!"]] |
13 | * The "Time Machine" episode features Zorak & Brak traveling back in time to force their past selves to do their homework. As Zorak formulates their plan, Brak's thoughts go to...[[CloudCuckoolander interesting places.]] |
14 | --> '''Zorak:''' Okay, so here's what we do: We'll go back to Friday- |
15 | --> '''Brak:''' And we make a kite out of squirrels, to fly to the moon! |
16 | --> '''Zorak:''' ...nooooo...we track ourselves down. |
17 | --> '''Brak:''' Then what? |
18 | --> '''Zorak:''' We make our ''other'' selves do the homework. |
19 | --> '''Brak:''' Hey, Zorak? Can I ask you a question? |
20 | --> '''Zorak:''' Yeah, what? |
21 | --> '''Brak:''' Where are we gonna find enough squirrels to make a kite? |
22 | --> '''Zorak:''' Are you really that stupid? |
23 | --> '''Brak:''' Ooh! I dare you to say that again! Only this time say: "Brak, I love you!" |
24 | ** Later, upon coming face to face with their past selves, this exchange occurs: |
25 | -->'''Brak:''' Hello, my name is Brak! |
26 | -->'''Past Brak:''' Hello, ''my'' name is Brak! |
27 | -->'''Brak:''' I live in a house down the street! |
28 | -->'''Past Brak:''' ''I'' live in a house down the street! |
29 | -->'''Brak:''' I'm wearin' ''clean underwear.'' |
30 | -->'''Past Brak:''' You are ''not!'' |
31 | -->'''Brak:''' Whelp! Got me there! |
32 | -->''Both Braks break out into peals of laughter.'' |
33 | * This dialogue in "Sexy New Brak Show Go" |
34 | -->'''Brak:''' 'Dad can I open the box even though it's not a recognized mealtime? Can I? Can I? Huh? Can I? |
35 | -->'''Dad:''' Ask your mother. |
36 | -->'''Brak:''' Mom, can I open the box? |
37 | -->'''Mom:''' Ask your father. |
38 | -->'''Brak:''' Dad can I open the box? |
39 | -->'''Dad:''' Ask your father. |
40 | -->'''Brak:''' Dad, how about that box? |
41 | -->'''Dad:''' Say it like a princess. |
42 | -->'''Brak:''' (girly voice) Father, may I open the box? |
43 | -->'''Dad:''' No no no, Princess the Cat |
44 | -->'''Brak:''' I don't do her. |
45 | -->'''Dad:''' Then you don't open the box! ... but I love you very much! |
46 | * Brak's little bit in "War Next Door" while dressed in a beet costume |
47 | --> I'm hot for ya, baby, |
48 | --> I'm a big old beat! |
49 | --> I'm red but not embarrassed, |
50 | --> And I am good with meat. |
51 | --> Of course I make an excellent borscht! |
52 | --> And I'm hot for ya, babaaaaaaaaaaaah! |
53 | * Brak spends an episode competing in staring contests. His dad tricks him into blinking several times throughout their match. |
54 | --->"Before a contest, it is customary to blink at each other. You go first." |
55 | --->"It looks like she wrote her phone number on the back of your eyelids!" |
56 | * Zorak takes Dad on, and immediately gets attacked by a wasps, which Dad claims love to feed on mantis eye-juice. |
57 | ** Despite being repeatedly stung in the eyes by wasps, with both eyes swelling grotesquely, Zorak manages to never blink. |
58 | * At the end of the episode, a gigantic floating eyeball appears with a voice like Fat Albert, only known as "The Eye." He challenges Dad to a staring contest right before the credits. |
59 | --->"Float like a floating eye, sting like a floating eye! Oh yea!" |
60 | |
61 | * The episode "Goldfish" during Brak's mini freakout when he finds out he can't go to the Carnival of Feet right away, complete with loud yelling and exorcist head twisting. |
62 | --->"Today is the day of the Carnival of Feet! |
63 | --->There'll be feet there and feet, and don't forget the feet. |
64 | --->I'll be there if I'm not somewhere else! |
65 | --->At the one and only Carnival of Feeeeet!" |
66 | ** Same episode, Don Tickles, Notary Public. |
67 | ** Same episode: |
68 | --->'''Brak:''' Don't talk to me mom, ''I'm a murderer!'' |
69 | --->'''Mom:''' Oh, dear. |
70 | --->'''Brak:''' I'm going to bed, but I don't see how I'll ever get to sleep! |
71 | --->'''Brak:''' ''*in bed*'' Man, I love sleeping! *snore* Oh, I wish I could wake up so I could go back to sleep again! *snore* |
72 | ** And again: |
73 | --->'''Brak:''' Mr. Tickles, how do you think Thundercleese is going to take this? |
74 | --->'''Mr. Tickles:''' Oh, my god! He'll tear your arms off! |
75 | --->'''Brak:''' But I love my arms! ''That's where my hands live!'' |
76 | * Thundercleese apparently has a lightswitch [[LargeHam OF TOTAL DEVASTATION!]] |
77 | * Dad: Then you don't open the box! ... but I love you very much! |
78 | * Brak hunts down Mr. Tickles' twin brother in One Fish Lake. He finds a gold fish with a large, prospector-like beard. |
79 | --->"Some say he still lives here and grew a beard... BUT THAT'S A DAMN LIE!" |
80 | * [[NoIndoorVoice RHONDA, OF THE SEVENTH LEVEL OF YAR!]] |
81 | * Brak losing his freaking mind in "Braklet, Prince of Spaceland". |
82 | * To get Brak the okay to join him in seeing ''Ass Disaster 4'', which Zorak hints is a pornographic film, Zorak lies that the film is about donkeys. Cue Zorak's WTF reaction when he finds out the film actually ''is'' about donkeys. |
83 | * Any and all songs; particularly those sung by Zorak. |
84 | * In "Hippo", after Brak's dad gives some advice, Brak's mom replies, "Brak's not here. He ran out screaming hours ago." |
85 | ** Just before that, Brak walks by twice crying. When Brak's mom notes there might be something wrong with him, his dad mutters, [[DysfunctionalFamily "There's something wrong with all of us, Darling."]] |
86 | * [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UI-NePCsTeA This exchange.]] |
87 | --->'''Zorak:''' Alright, whaddya wanna do? |
88 | --->'''Brak:''' Do you wanna make love, darling? |
89 | --->'''Zorak: WHAT DID YOU SAY TO ME!!?''' |
90 | --->'''Brak:''' I wasn't talking to ''you''. I was practicing for my wedding night. |
91 | --->'''Zorak:''' ''What!?'' |
92 | * In "We Ski In Peace", Dad defending his decision to spend Brak's college fund on a boat by noting that [[CloudCuckooLander 'Brak isn't college material']]. Cut to Brak standing on a roadside somewhere dopily and atonally singing a song to himself that consists entirely of the word 'do' said different ways. |
93 | ** In the same episode, Dad gets a job at an ice cream store, and him and Clarence (the only other employee, and manager) give Thundercleese a tag team of terrible customer service, including attacking the store's ice cream with a shotgun (comically shouting with every shot) on the grounds that 'it was about to rob us', offering to put Clarence's vomit in a cone, and giving him a customer satisfaction survey with no options except for the customer to say that they are terrible - Clarence then eats the survey. |
94 | *** They eventually satisfy Thundercleese by giving him a 'free coupon' that turns out to be a receipt for dry cleaning. |
95 | ** [[RuleOfThree ALSO]] in this episode, is a quick one where Zorak enters the ice cream shop, spots Clarence, shouts 'You!' and chases him offscreen for a beating, none of which is acknowledged by any other character. |
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