Line #131 Funny/Alpharad


1	!![[AC:How I Survived My First Pokémon Nuzlocke]]
2	* On Route 3, [[BornLucky Jacob]] manages to find a female Nidoran as his encounter (which is ''extremely'' rare in ''[[VideoGame/PokemonRedAndBlue FireRed]]'', at 1%), and after getting it down to yellow health, notes that all he has to do next is [[StatingTheSimpleSolution throw a ball at it]]. And then one of his friends calls him a pussy for not weakening it further, and...
3	-->'''Jacob:''' Kids, let this be [[AnAesop a lesson in toxic masculinity]]; it's better to be called a pussy than a ''serial murderer.''
4	* [[NeverLiveItDown The infamous Onix Incident.]] During the fight against Lorelei's Jynx, [[CouldSayItBut "a relatively loud voice in [his] ear"]][[note]]Jacob's friend Captain Kidd (Braden)[[/note]] advised him to try and beat it using an Onix (named Mewtwo as a joke) with a Quick Claw (an item that gives the holder a small chance to move first even if the enemy is faster). Despite arguing against it due to Onix's Ice weakness, the level of frustration he had been feeling towards the Jynx due to the amount of bad luck with status ailments he had been getting caused him to cave to [[CouldSayItBut "this person who will go unnamed"]]'s advice anyway in what he could only describe as a MomentOfWeakness. [[StupidSacrifice The Onix is killed in a single hit from Ice Punch.]]
5	-->'''Jacob:''' ''[[RageBreakingPoint What did I say, Braden?!]] '''[[SuddenlyShouting WHAT DID I SAY?!]]'''''\
6	'''Altrive:''' [[OhCrap WHAT THE FUCK?!]]\
7	'''Jacob:''' ''WHAT DID I SAY?!''\
8	'''Braden:''' [[DidntThinkThisThrough I thought he had Sturdy!]]\
9	'''Jacob:''' Jesus Christ, I'm never listening to you, ever! ''EVER!'' Literally never! '''Not once''' has your advice ''ever'' helped me!\
10	'''Braden:''' [[NotHelpingYourCase ...well, we got a...we got a pretty bad Mewtwo, there.]]
11	** There's also the understated fact that Jacob ''repeatedly'' tried to obscure Kidd's involvement in this incident, [[EveryoneKnewAlready only for it to be made blatantly obvious in the clip]].
12	** For extra funny points, remember how Braden thought Onix could tank it due to Sturdy? ''That's only possible in ''VideoGame/PokemonBlackAndWhite'' onwards!'' Before that, it was just a NoSell to OneHitKill moves instead of surviving any attack at full health. Even if that Onix ''did'' have Sturdy, [[InSpiteOfANail it wouldn't have helped]].
13	** Also, Onix has an awful attack stat and people have ran calculations, which indicate that even if all the stars aligned, Alpharad still would only have had a ''chance'' of one-hit-koing Jynx.
14
15	!![[AC:I hosted a normal dinner party with no ulterior motives]]
16	* Once Jacob thinks everyone has done their performances for the talent show, he's ready to announce the winner... or so he believes.
17	-->'''Jacob:''' ''(triumphant music)'' Alright, everyone! We have reviewed all of your talents... ''[[LettingTheAirOutOfTheBand (music stops)]]'' You didn't go. Why?\
18	'''WebAnimation/{{Jaiden\|Animations}}:''' Did you forget about me?\
19	'''Film Crewmate:''' [[FailedASpotCheck No one called her in.]]
20	** For her talent, Jaiden proceeds to beat ''VideoGame/{{Minesweeper}}'' in only 35 seconds ''[[SugarWiki/MomentOfAwesome with arthritis]]'', which almost gives her the win, until she loses to Jacob in a coin flip ''[[BornUnlucky yet again]]'', making Skooch win the talent show. Jaiden is ''not'' happy in the comments.
21	--->'''Jaiden:''' I would’ve won if you didn’t forget about me >:(
22	*** [[FromBadToWorse It gets worse]]: When the coin toss is proposed, [[LoopholeAbuse Jaiden clearly states that she'd get double points]] [[ExactWords if she]] ''[[ExactWords lost.]]'' So, either Jacob didn't hear her say that, [[KickTheDog or outright ignored it]]. According to Jacob, it was the former:
23	---->'''Alpharad:''' people are goin full psychoanalysis in the comments but my small brain just didn't process what she said
24
25	!![[AC:Can you beat Pokémon with a Level 1 team?]]
26	* Upon realizing that he designed his team around ''[[VideoGame/PokemonBlackAndWhite Pokémon White]]'' instead of ''[[VideoGame/PokemonBlack2AndWhite2 Pokémon White 2]]'', Jacob catches a Golduck to teach it Strength and Surf. However, he doesn't feel right doing so, since it [[CheatersNeverProsper breaks the rules of the challenge]], so his solution is to [[DistinctionWithoutADifference use a cheat code]] that lets him WalkOnWater.
27	* The unfortunate moments when his game crashed, including defeating [[ThatOneBoss Haxorus]] and getting into the Hall of Fame.
28
29	!![[AC:Mario Kart in real life is dangerous]]
30	* The equivalent to the [[HomingProjectile Spiny Shell]] are spiky, blue rubber balls, which Jacob throws at the wheels of people who are in [=1st=]. Most of the time, he ends up breaking the chains of their tricycles, but when Charles, who was given permission to run on foot when his tricycle stopped working, is in [=1st=], Jacob ''runs after him'' with a ball in tow.
31	* During TheStinger, the camera cuts to Jacob in the bathroom... cosplaying as Princess Peach.
32	-->'''Jacob:''' [[OhCrap Turn the camera off! Get away!]]
33
34	!![[AC:Attempting the 'PERFECT' Pokémon Nuzlocke]]
35	* The opening of the video and the EstablishingCharacterMoment(s) it displays of Jan of Pokémon Challenges, depicting him as TheDreaded who lords over any content creator daring to play a Nuzlocke followed by a montage of him critiquing various creators.
36	** Jan's reaction to all this? [[ActuallyPrettyFunny Laughing hysterically at the premise of the video]] and freely admitting that [[LaserGuidedKarma he had it coming]].
37	* As fate would have it, Jacob runs into an Onix as his final encounter on Victory Road, just as he did in his original ''[=FireRed=]'' Nuzlocke. Taking this as a sign, he decides to end the run in the pettiest way imaginable; by subbing the Onix, named [="4Kidd"=], onto his otherwise perfectly-crafted endgame team solely so he can beat his rival's Charizard with her, doing what his previous Onix didn't live long enough to accomplish. When the moment finally comes he switches her in and, after narrowly surviving a Fire Blast and [[BornLucky with a lucky Quick Claw activation]] letting her move first, she lands a decisive Rock Slide... which ''[[AllForNothing fails]]'' to kill Charizard despite hitting for quadruple damage. As [=4Kidd=] falls to a second Fire Blast, Jacob is forced to admit that yes, Onix really is that bad, and no, he's still [[NeverLiveItDown never living that one down]].
38
39	!![[AC:Jaiden and I entered a Smash Bros tournament]]
40	* With his advantage of using WebAnimation/{{Jaiden\|Animations}}'s [[SpotTheImposter name]], Jacob believes they've got the tournament [[TemptingFate in the bag]].
41	-->'''Jacob:''' Well, this should be fun! ''(Jaiden makes [[VideoGame/DragonQuestVIII Eight]] use [[TakingYouWithMe Kamikazee]])'' [[DeadpanSnarker Perfect.]]
42	* During the match against ARUUU and [=gsmVoiD=], Jacob [[UnfriendlyFire accidentally kills Jaiden]].
43	-->'''Jacob:''' [[IMeantToDoThat Uh, well, I just wanted an even game. What can I say?]]
44
45	!![[AC:A talent show, but the prize is my Twitter account]]
46	* Jacob is paranoid about what Altrive might post to his Twitter, and tries to [[SpannerInTheWorks sabotage his performance]].
47	-->'''Jacob:''' So, [[LoopholeAbuse as it stands]]... this warrants a Tweet. ''({{Beat}}; throws Rubik's cube to the ground, but it's [[MadeOfIndestructium still intact]]) [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe It doesn't break?!]] (throws Altrive his phone)'' Take my phone... ''(tries to kick the Rubik's cube, but misses twice)'' [[EpicFail Fuck, I have the slides!]] ''([[PercussiveTherapy throws Rubik's cube]] one last time)''
48	** And after all that paranoia, ''what'' did Altrive tweet out?
49	--->"I'm [[VideoGame/YIIKAPostModernRPG yiiking]] out right now"
50
51	!![[AC:Beating Pokémon with ONLY Shinies]]
52	* After over ''three hours'' of trying to get a Shiny Lugia, Jacob decides that he's had enough and [[KnowWhenToFoldEm decides to just kill Lugia]]... only for the Shiny Lugia he was looking for to appear immediately afterwards.
53	-->'''Jacob:''' ...Do I kill it?
54
55	!![[AC:Apparently, Undertale has Online Multiplayer now]]
56	* The video's EstablishingSeriesMoment: the instant Toriel enters the screen, Alpharad asks the following, signaling that it will get violent:
57	--> '''Alpharad''': Chat do we want to kill her, yes or no?
58	* Alparad thought that only he would control whether to fight, but then the attack animation is seen attacking the dummy. When asked who did that, they all deny it, but one of them remarks he probably had it coming.
59	* Jaiden remarks this gem:
60	--> '''Jaiden''': Someone in chat goes "Hey, by the way, [[ItWasHisSled there's a secret ending if you don't kill anyone]]."
61	--> '''Alpharad''': True, really?
62	--> '''Somebody''': Trying to get through the game without killing anyone, you can do that?
63	* Later, the group kills their first Froggit:
64	--> We're getting valuable EXP, [[BlatantLies which stands for "Experience Points"]].
65	* When encountering Whimsun, Alpharad suggents sparing him, but the group doesn't listen.
66	--> '''Alpharad''': I think we can just spare this thing, I don't even think we have to kill it.
67	--> ''Someone kills Whimsun.''
68	--> '''Alpharad''': Okay, and we're killing it.
69	* The fight with Toriel:
70	** Alpharad reminds his fellow player that they literally cannot lose the fight. Then he gets reminded that the multiplayer mod screws with the game's mechanics, making them lose to her anyway.
71	** On their second attempt, one of them tells them to stand back. Cue a SmashCut to Toriel being killed and that player cheering, the others attempting to justify themselves and chat crying and calling them monsters. Alpharad remarks that [[MemeticMutation he feels a couple sins crawling on his back]], and Flowey taunts them by telling them it's not like they can go back and change fate.
72	** They accidentally bug the game in Snowdin Forest, making them have to reset. This leads to them murdering Toriel again, and [[RippleEffectProofMemory Flowey]] taunting them again, this time asking them how many more times they will kill her.
73	* When meeting Sans, Alpharad says that despite his status as a meme, he's unironically a phenomenal character, and Cade/Weegee retorts that he's not gonna let "the folks at WebSite/DeviantArt" ruin that for him.
74	* Similarly, during Papyrus's first appearance, Jaiden says that she feels like she's meeting celebrities due to the [[EnsembleDarkhorse huge internet presence]] of the two brothers.
75	* Luckily for Papyrus, [[EveryoneHasStandards the group spares him]]. One of the characters ends up stuck on his door, with the other three walking around Snowdin with him.
76	* When fighting Undyne, one of them gets left behind, leading Undyne to automatically catch up, thus making her fight UnintentionallyUnwinnable by means other than killing her, leading them to have to reset.
77	** When they reach Hotland, Undyne collapses right at the same place as one of them, making it seem as she just stumbled upon them.
78	* When facing 01 and 02, the group turns to Smith to make them decide whether to kill or spare them, knowing they're chosen the former option every time. They also warn that should they kill them, Twitter will cancel them. [[{{Troll}} Smith alternates between those two buttons several times]], before asking Siri to flip a coin. Heads land, and they spare them, to the other's incredulity.
79	-->'''Jacob:''' [[CrossesTheLineTwice Hey, Siri, am I gonna commit a war crime today?]]
80	* During Mettaton's bomb defusing game, Smith gets tasked with defusing one. Unfortunately, their notorious incompetence at the minigame makes everyone start screaming that they're going to die. This lasts for an uncomfortable amount of time.
81	* Facing Asgore:
82	** Alpharad suggests that, since he only needs a single SOUL more, he can take Smith's and everyone else can move on.
83	** Chat starts singing something about Music/KanyeWest fingering his ass to the melody of the music, Jacob bemoans that he can't unhear it.
84	** When Asgore's down, Jaiden immediately moves her SOUL to the FIGHT button, only to announce she's making this a team vote. The group unanimously agrees to kill him instantly.
85	--->'''Jacob:''' That was the first group decision we've ever had and we're all bloodthirsty now.
86	* Omega Flowey:
87	** He was already ThatOneBoss in the base game, but the multiplayer mod makes it near unbearable for two reasons:
88	*** First, every time the game crashes as a result of the player losing, the mod takes several minutes to set up.
89	*** Second, the health bar drops for every player hit, but healing between stages remains normal.
90	** This leads to an hours long gruel, which some people think makes the infamous fight against Sans easier.
91	** When they finally reach the last stage, they remark [[TemptingFate how bad it would look if they died there]], and they proceed to do just that.
92	** Jacob's brief intermission where he shows a page filled top-to-bottom with invites he sent to Jaiden to bring her back in to fight Flowey and comments on [[TakeThat how desperate it looks]].
93	** The compilation gives several [[HopeSpot Hope Spots]] telling about how "finally it happened", showing the group making progress only to die again.
94	** Upon finally reaching the final cutscene of the fight, the players are all still panicking about not touching the pellets in case something bad happens.
95	** By the time it's all over, everyone agrees to just kill Flowey, and respond to his [[IfYouKillHimYouWillBeJustLikeHim final taunts]] by [[ShutUpHannibal stomping on his corpse out of spite]].
96
97	!![[AC: I Hosted an Awards Show for Friends who don't deserve any]]
98	* Jacob takes a brief intermission during editing to [[DistractedByMyOwnSexy admire his own ass]].
99	* When presenting the nominees for Best Artist, Jaiden is [[OhCrap not amused]] by the picture of her that Jacob pulls up, since she "[[RuleThirtyFour didn't draw that one]]."
100	* Giwi is crowned the "Most Likely to have their Spouse die of 'Natural Causes'" and is immediately followed by her partner WebVideo/RubberRoss winning "Most Likely to Die First".
101	* After all of the work that Jacob put in for the awards show for his friends, they [[UngratefulBastard thanked him]] by crowning him "Biggest Slut".
102	-->'''Jacob:''' [[SarcasmMode ...Thanks, guys.]]
103	* Smith drops a rather amusing BadassBoast when they give a speech for winning "Most Gay".
104	-->'''Smith:''' Being gay isn't a choice; [[BaitAndSwitch it's a game, and I'm winning]].
105	** Jacob, who was a fellow nominee for said award, is not amused by the fact that a picture of him kissing Skooch pops him for both this award and "Sloppiest Drunk" earlier and yet the latter wasn't even nominated for either.
106	* Jawsh had a ''painting'' commissioned for him in the name of winning "Most Likely to become a Politician" and in fact did win. His speech for winning was a simple "My fellow Countrymen: [[SophisticatedAsHell GG]]."
107
108	!![[AC:100 YouTubers sent me a Pokémon for a Nuzlocke]]
109	* WebVideo/ScottTheWoz, being clueless about the mechanics of the series, managed to send Jacob a Watchog with no item, no moves, and no ability, making it completely useless. On the Google form to submit his Pokémon, when asked if it was holding an item, he responded "he doesn't look like he is". As for what ability and moves it should have, he gave no proper answer, instead confusedly responding to both questions that he "just looked through the Pokédex and picked a funny looking one".
110
111	!![[AC:Romeo and Juliet, but without any rehearsals]]
112	* The ''entire video'', thanks to the premise: in addition to having no rehearsals, there's also no script, with Jo writing down just a one-sentence description for each character in each scene describing the very basics of what they're doing therein, and they improvise their lines from there, which naturally makes for a ton of hilarious dialogue and {{Corpsing}} throughout.
113	* Continuing Ross's RunningGag of dying early (started in VideoGame/AmongUs sessions where he was frequently killed in the first round), he plays a nameless background character who gets killed immediately by Jacob-Romeo in the opening battle scene between the Capulets and Montagues without even getting any lines, as he himself lampshades in the comments:
114	-->'''WebVideo/RubberRoss''': I made it through about 20 seconds of this video and died. It's among us all over again.
115	* Jaiden-as-Benvolio's response to Jacob-as-Romeo telling his friends about his failed romance with Rosaline.
116	-->'''Romeo''': So I was with this girl Rosaline, right? And she ended things!\
117	'''Benvolio''': ...Bitch.
118	* This line from Mercutio (as acted by Anthpo).
119	-->'''Mercutio''': Listen, I understand how much you like feet, but you can't open with that, Romeo.
120	* The RunningGag throughout of every single character verbally shitting all over Peter (played by CJ) whenever they speak to him.
121	-->'''Peter''': Can I come [to the party]?\
122	'''Everyone''': No.
123	* Romeo and Juliet (Deanna) having their awkward first meeting, with Romeo's {{Epic Fail}}s at flirting that somehow still works.
124	-->'''Romeo''': You go to therapy with that ass? ''(She flirtatiously sticks her ass out)''\
125	''(Later, as Juliet admires Romeo's sword)''\
126	'''Romeo''': Yeah, you know what they say about swords. I fucking murdered a person today.\
127	'''Juliet''': ''(Twirling her hair and giggling flirtatiously)'' That's hot~
128	* For Mercutio's dying speech, Anthpo instead recites the famous "to be or not to be" soliloquy...from ''Theatre/{{Hamlet}}''. Complete with melancholy music in the background. Doubles as an SugarWiki/{{Awesome Moment\|s}} due to reciting almost half the speech ''just from memory''.
129	** And then Romeo recites his own sonnet in return, which segues into the video's sponsorship, while Benvolio stands solemnly saluting nearby.
130	--->'''Romeo''': Hath thou heard of VideoGame/RaidShadowLegends?
131	** Tybalt (played by Cristina Vee) reacts with increasing annoyance and sulks in a corner while being told to wait for first Mercutio and then Romeo to finish their speeches before fighting the latter. When Tybalt is fatally wounded by Romeo, he begins reciting his own death monologue--[[ActorAllusion Cristina's segment]] from Jacob's [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GWnoJav4Rs0&ab_channel=Alpharad Copypasta Theater video]]--before he abruptly cuts him off with a coup de grace.
132	--->'''Tybalt''': [[WesternAnimation/RickAndMorty To be fair...]][[MemeticMutation you have to have a very high IQ to--]] ''([[KilledMidSentence Romeo smacks him with his sword]])''
133	* Jules plays Lord Capulet like a drunk, LargeHam frat bro with NoIndoorVoice, such as calling the party he throws near the beginning "a rager" for his "hot daughter" Juliet, enthusiastically telling her that her new betrothed Paris has a "huge schlong" and stating her (fake) enthusiasm to marry him is "pretty poggers," and later discovering her fake-dead body. "[[BigNO NOOOOOO!]] [[PrecisionFStrike FUCK!]] MY GODDAMN DAUGHTER IS DEAD!"
134	* Meanwhile, [=PointCrow=] goes hard into the PrinceCharmless portrayal of Paris that some productions give him, playing him as an inappropriately-horny incel with no tact. A standout is the one scene he shares with Juliet where she threatens suicide over marrying him, and he responds with:
135	-->'''Paris''': Is it that time of the month, uh, Juliet?\
136	'''Juliet''': [[YouHaveGotToBeKiddingMe Did you really just fucking say that to me?!]]
137	* Benvolio using ''a knock-knock joke'' to tell Romeo that Juliet is "dead". And Romeo decides to travel the world to buy poison from an apothecary so he can [[TogetherInDeath join her in death]]...only for one to suddenly appear, dressed all in black with a ''[[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext bird mask]]'' and strumming a guitar.
138	-->'''Romeo''': Oh holy shit.
139	* In this version, Romeo kills Paris ''by complete mistake'' via accidentally impaling him with his sword while trying to give him advice.
140	* Romeo's last words, and then Juliet waking up to find him dead.
141	-->'''Romeo''': [[WesternAnimation/LooneyTunes That's all, folks.]] ''(dies)''\
142	'''Juliet''': Babe? ''(realizes he's dead)'' Are you breaking up with me?! Are you...are you serious?!
143	* Friar Laurence (played by well-known [[TheGadfly troll and gadfly]] Altrive/Dash) discovers Romeo and Paris dead and Juliet awake, and realizes [[PoorCommunicationKills he forgot to fill Romeo in]] on her faked suicide. He sums up the situation thusly to Juliet:
144	-->'''Laurence''': I think I did a little too much trolling.
145	* And then the whole play somehow wraps with Prince Escalus, Peter, Benvolio, and [[MakesJustAsMuchSenseInContext Mercutio's ghost]] having a DancePartyEnding, [[BlackComedy despite three people being dead on the ground nearby]].
146
147	!!It's been Ten Years of making videos
148	* Jacob spends the whole video reacting to his first ever let's play from when he was a teenager. You can guess where this is going.
149	* He inevitably gets a kick out of how his old avatar was one of those old Flash game "make an anime character face" pictures.
150	* Jacob's complete and utter bafflement at the long-winded traumadumping rant his teenage self gives about [[FelonyMisdemeanor having to pick up his sister from an appointment she had]].
151	* At one point, Jacob picks up on a very... ''[[CampGay interesting]]'' line delivery from his younger self and questions how it's at all possible that he [[TransparentCloset hadn't already figured out that he was bi at that point]].

Context Funny / Alpharad