Line #28 Film/UpTheChastityBelt


1	[[quoteright:350:https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/up_the_chastity_belt.jpg]]
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3	''Up the Chastity Belt'' (also released as ''Naughty Knights'' and ''The Chastity Belt'' in the United States) is a 1972 British film directed by Bob Kellett and starring Creator/FrankieHowerd, Graham Crowden, Bill Fraser, Roy Hudd, Hugh Paddick, Anna Quayle, and Anne Aston, with special appearances by Fred Emney, Dave King, Creator/LancePercival, Nora Swinburn, and Godfrey Winn. It was the second film spin-off from the TV series ''Series/UpPompeii''.
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5	The Queen of England gives birth to twins. In order to protect the blood line one is kept and the other hidden in a pig sty and is raised to think its mother is the pig. Lurkalot is the one raised by pigs who doesn't know his past. He makes a good living as a servant, selling chastity belts on the side. When his master's castle is lost to Sir Braggart de Bombast, Lurkalot must fight to protect his daughter, eventually travelling to the Crusades to bring back his master. While there, he discovers that his twin is Richard the Lionheart, and he is of Royal stock. He must therefore bring back both his master and King Richard.
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7	!!Tropes used in ''Up the Chastity Belt'' include:
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9	* AccidentalDiscovery: While attempting to cure Sir Coward's intoxication, Lurkalot mixes a medicine consisting of sulphur and charcoal, which then has saltpeter knocked into when he is not looking. When he tosses the resulting concoction on to the brazier, it explodes. Realising he has invented something significant, he names it 'gone powder' because it makes things 'gone'.
10	* AllClothUnravels: Lurkalot gets the threads of Lady Ashfodel's tapestry hooked on his belt and unravels it when he storms out of the room.
11	* AnachronismStew: From the comparatively minor (e.g. Lurkalot's horseshoe magnet) to the downright ludicrous (e.g. Saladin running a go-go club for crusading knights). All PlayedForLaughs, of course.
12	* ArentYouGoingToRavishMe: When Sir Braggart lays claim to Sir Coward's castle:
13	-->'''Lady Ashfodel:''' And now I suppose you're going to embark on pillaging and rape of helpless women.\
14	'''Sir Braggart:''' I hadn't planned on it.\
15	'''Lady Ashfodel:''' What a pity.
16	* ArtisticLicenseHistory: It is doubtful anyone was expecting historical accuracy from this film but suffice it to say that UsefulNotes/RichardTheLionheart did not have a twin brother named Lurkalot, nor did he ever marry a woman named Lobelia.
17	* AshFace: Lurkalot and Sir Coward end up like this following Lurkalot's AccidentalDiscovery of gunpowder.
18	* BadHabits: Lurkalot disguises himself as a friar in order to to smuggle Sir Coward into the castle. King Richard disguises himself as a nun to avoid being caught in the bedroom of the wife of a German knight.
19	* BatteringRam: Sir Braggart's men use a battering ram in an attempt to break into Lurkalot's workshop, but he defeats them with DoorJudo.
20	* BedlahBabe: The Crusaders Club is filled with them, although many are wearing outfits more suited to a 70s go-go club.
21	* BindleStick: Lurkalot carries a bindle stick when he sets off to walk (and swim) from England to the Holy Land.
22	* BornUnlucky: The marketplace scene features a pedlar selling lucky charms who suffers an unending TraumaCongaLine of bad luck that almost cripples him.
23	* BreakingTheFourthWall: Lurkalot is constantly turning to the camera to make asides directly to the audience.
24	* BurnTheWitch: Lurkalot is accused of being a witch after having been seen flying (ItMakesSenseInContext). First he is dunked in the well till he confesses to being a witch, and then is placed on a pyre to be burned. The villagers have trouble lighting him because he is so waterlogged.
25	* CampGay: Robin Hood and his Merry Men. Will Scarlet qualifies as MachoCamp. Also a StealthPun as they live in a 'camp' in Sherwood Forest.
26	* CannotTellAJoke: Lurkalot during his brief turn as jester. He tells an extremely unfunny joke then, when it fails to garner any laughs, he kills it entirely by overexplaining it.
27	* ChandelierSwing: Lurkalot attempts to escape from Sir Braggart by leaping on to the chandelier and swinging away. However, he immediately loses control of the swing and winds up falling off.
28	* ClothingCombat: Will Scarlet uses his cloak like a matador's cape to cause Braggart's men to charge past him and collide with an anvil.
29	* CoitusUninterruptus: Richard and Winnie continue having sex despite Lurkalot and Braggart having a running sword fight through the room.
30	* DisguisedInDrag: Lurkalot and Sir Coward disguise themselves as women in order to unionise the {{Bedlah Babe}}s and encourage them to stage a LysistrataGambit.
31	* DoItYourselfThemeTune: Eartha Kitt, who plays Scheherazade, also sings the theme song "A Knight for My Nights".
32	* DoorJudo: When Sir Sir Braggart de Bombast's men attempt to break down the door of Lurkalot's workshop with a battering ram, he opens the door so they crash into the wall opposite. Before doing so Creator/FrankieHowerd [[BreakingTheFourthWall breaks the fourth wall]] to say there is no way such an old joke can work.
33	* EmergencyImpersonation: King Richard decides to stay behind in Germany with his latest piece of fluff, Lurkalot adopts Richard's identity and returns to England in an attempt to sort out the mess there. This does not go in any way according to plan.
34	* FallingChandelierOfDoom: Sir Braggart cuts down the chandelier so it falls on Sir Coward as he charges back into the great hall during the final battle.
35	* TheGhost: Prince John is mentioned frequently, but never actually appears; despite him taking over the country in Richard's absence.
36	* HappyHarlequinHat: Lurkalot wears one as part of his motley when he is forced to act as jester at Sir Coward's feast.
37	* HeadTiltinglyKinky: Scheherazade is looking at an illustration in the ''Kama Sutra'':
38	-->'''Scheherazade:''' "That's impossible!" ''(tilts head)'' Or is it?"
39	* HollywoodMagnetism: Lurkalot uses a giant horseshoe magnet to strip Sir Grumbel of his weapons and armour during their trial by combat.
40	* TheKeyIsBehindTheLock: Nick the Pick is called in to unlock Lobelia's chastity belt. However, all of his tools are in his toolbox, which is locked. And he can't find the key. The rest of film shows his increasingly desperate attempts to open the toolbox.
41	* KavorkaMan: King Richard is drowning in attractive women despite being played by Creator/FrankieHowerd in a bad blond wig. Being king must count for a lot, because his twin brother Lurkalot (Frankie Howerd without the wig) has much less luck with the ladies.
42	* LovePotion: Lurkalot has a sideline in making and selling aphrodisiacs. It is not known if these are effective or just a scam.
43	* LysistrataGambit: Lurkalot and Sir Coward [[DisguisedInDrag disguise themselves as women]] and persuade Saladin's {{Bedlah Babe}}s to withhold sex from the crusaders, so that King Richard will become despondent, call off the Crusade, and return to England.
44	* MachoCamp: Will Scarlet is this among Myth/RobinHood's band of Merry Men (all of whom are gay). Will is a WalkingShirtlessScene who is usually posing. However, the final fight shows that he is one of the best combatants in the film.
45	* PlotBasedVoiceCancellation: Lurkalot asks the Voice who he really is, only for her reply to be drowned out by the dramatic thunder happening outside.
46	* RaisedByWolves: Lurkalot was raised by pigs.
47	* SmolderingShoes: Happens to Nick the Pick when the bomb he is using to open his toolbox goes off.
48	* StockPunishment: There is a man in stocks in village square being pelted with vegetables. Sir Coward later sneaks around collecting the vegetables for dinner.
49	* TakeOffYourClothes: While getting Lady Lobelia away from Sir Braggart, Lurkalot takes her into his workshop and tells her to take off her clothes. She starts to obey and then says "But we haven't got time!". However, he actually wants to fit her with a chastity belt.
50	* TheTourney: Sir Braggart challenges Sir Coward to a duel, with Lady Lobelia as the prize. Lurkalot, although not a knight, takes up the challenge as the "Man with no name" and defeats Sir Braggart's champion, Sir Grumbell de Grunt, with the aid of a giant magnet. Realising that the rules of chivalry have not been met, Sir Braggart declares the duel void and declares war.
51	* TheUnintelligible: On the way to the Holy Land, Lurkalot stops to as a yokel directions. The yokel speaks with an incomprehensible Mummerset accent, which results in Lurkalot making several false starts.
52	* VineSwing: Robin Hood swings in on a vine and lands in front of Lurkalot as he is making his way through Sherwood Forest.
53	* WalkingShirtlessScene: MachoCamp outlaw Will Scarlet is shirtless in every scene, and usually posing.
54	* WeirdTradeUnion: Lurkalot and Sir Coward organise Saladin's harem girls into a union as part of plan to cut off King Richard's supply of nookie and force him to return to England.
55	* YeGoodeOldeDays: Despite being a comedy, ''Up the Chastity Belt'' plays the environmental aspects of chivalric romances remarkably straight, with no one ever being besmirched by their physicals exertions, whether it is in sodden England or the scorching heat of the Holy Land. TheDungAges is only invoked when needed for a particular joke.

Context Film / UpTheChastityBelt