History WhatAnIdiot / Literature

29th Sep '17 7:30:43 PM Bionicman
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* In ''Franchise/TheWitcher'', during the final volume of the books, ''Literature/LadyOfTheLake'', Ciri discovers that her adoptive mother Yennefer has been kidnapped by a sorcerer Vilgefortz, who is trying to capture Ciri for his own ends and is using Yennefer as a hostage. Ciri knows that Vilgefortz has been employing the remorseless sociopathic killer Leo Bonhart to capture her (along with other killers that he regards as expendable), that he's horrifically tortured Yennefer, and in general has done nothing whatsoever to suggest he has any conscience.\\
'''You'd Expect''': That Ciri would realize that Vilgefortz isn't the kind of person who would spare someone out of the mercy of his heart.\\
'''Instead''': Ciri walks into his castle and offers herself, asking them to let Yennefer go in return. Unsurprisingly, Vilgefortz laughs at her, has her restrained, and prepares to forcibly impregnate her. Fortunately for Ciri, the sudden arrival of Geralt and his companions spares her the consequences of her stupidity.
20th Sep '17 5:27:43 PM Snowsky
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** In ''Long Shadows'', when a fire hits the camp, [[spoiler:Ashfur]] takes this opportunity to get revenge on Squirrelflight by forcing her children to burn to death. He brags about his sadistic plot at length to Squirrelflight, who replies that it won't hurt her because [[spoiler:they're not really her children]].\\

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** In ''Into the Wild,'' Brokenstar has taken over as leader of [=ShadowClan=], and one of the new policies he institutes is to start training kits as apprentices when they're three months old, instead of the standard six months. The problem is, apprentices normally start training at six months for a ''reason.'' Several kits are killed, either by Brokenstar's [[TrainingFromHell harsh training]] or from being thrown into battle against enemy Clans before they're ready.\\
'''You'd Expect:''' Brokenstar to realize that training kits too young is a bad idea, and stop. Sooner or later, the Clan is going to run out of kits. No kits means no apprentices, which means no warriors.\\
'''Instead:''' Not only does he continue training young kits, he tries to steal kits from other Clans, including [=ThunderClan=]. This gives [=ThunderClan=] a perfect excuse to break into the [=ShadowClan=] camp, steal the kits back, and help the rest of [=ShadowClan=] (who aren't happy with Brokenstar's leadership either) drive him out. Good riddance.
** In ''Long Shadows'', when a fire hits the camp, [[spoiler:Ashfur]] takes this opportunity to get revenge on Squirrelflight by forcing her to watch her children to burn to death. He brags about his sadistic plot at length to Squirrelflight, who replies that it won't hurt her because [[spoiler:they're not really her children]].\\



'''Instead:''' [[spoiler:Ashfur]], for some reason, wholeheartedly believes the words of the woman whose children he is about to murder. In fact, he has such faith in her honesty that he immediately lets his victims go... apparently thinking that they value 'being honest to a serial killer' over 'not burning to death'. Yes, [[spoiler:Ashfur]]'s batshit crazy at this point, but... really?

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'''Instead:''' [[spoiler:Ashfur]], for some reason, wholeheartedly believes the words of the woman she-cat whose children he is about to murder. In fact, he has such faith in her honesty that he immediately lets his victims go... apparently thinking that they value 'being honest to a serial killer' over 'not burning to death'. Yes, [[spoiler:Ashfur]]'s batshit crazy at this point, but... really?
15th Sep '17 11:29:09 AM jto5334t
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'''Instead:''' Mike tests his theory on ''himself'', [[IncrediblyShrinkingMan causing him to shrink]], and causing the Oompa-Loompas to [[NoodlePerson overstretch him when attempting to bring him back to normal]].

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'''Instead:''' Mike tests decides to test his theory on ''himself'', [[IncrediblyShrinkingMan [[IncredibeShrinkingMan causing him to shrink]], and causing the Oompa-Loompas to [[NoodlePerson [[NoodlePeople overstretch him when attempting to bring him back to normal]].
15th Sep '17 11:26:10 AM jto5334t
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** [[''Literature/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory'' The first book]]:
*** In a story told to Charlie by his Grandpa Joe (a former worker for Mr. Wonka), Mr. Wonka travels to India to help a Indian prince named Pondicherry to build a palace out of chocolate. Once the work is done, Mr. Wonka, who (despite being apparently English) knows that the hot Indian climate won't let the palace stand for long, warns Pondicherry that he would start eating up the place now if he was the prince.\\

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** [[''Literature/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory'' [[Literature/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory The first book]]:
*** In a story told to Charlie by his Grandpa Joe (a former worker for Mr. Wonka), Joe, Mr. Wonka travels to India to help a Indian prince named Pondicherry to build a palace out of chocolate. Once the work is done, Mr. Wonka, who (despite being apparently English) knows that the hot Indian climate won't let the palace stand for long, warns Pondicherry that he would start eating up the place now if he was the prince.\\



*** Later, Mr. Wonka takes five lucky winners of 'Golden Tickets' ([[FatSlop Augustus]], [[SpoiledBrat Veruca]], Violet, Mike, and (of course) Charlie) on a tour of his factory. The first room they come to is the 'Chocolate Room'. It has a liquid chocolate river and waterfall, from which some (if not all) of the chocolate used in Wonka's products is sourced. Oh, and there is no railing to keep anyone back.\\

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*** Later, Mr. Wonka takes five lucky winners of 'Golden Tickets' ([[FatSlop ([[FatSlob Augustus]], [[SpoiledBrat Veruca]], Violet, Mike, and (of course) Charlie) on a tour of his factory. The first room they come to is the 'Chocolate Room'. It has a liquid chocolate river and waterfall, from which some (if not all) of the chocolate used in Wonka's products is sourced. Oh, and there is no railing to keep anyone back.\\



** In [[''Literature/CharlieAndTheGreatGlassElevator'' the second book,]] Mr. Wonka has a load of pills that can reduce the age of anyone who takes them. He offers them to Charlie Bucket's grandparents, all of whom are around 80, and firmly establishes that each pill will make a person 20 years younger.\\

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** In [[''Literature/CharlieAndTheGreatGlassElevator'' [[Literature/CharlieAndTheGreatGlassElevator the second book,]] Mr. Wonka has a load of pills that can reduce the age of anyone who takes them. He offers them to Charlie Bucket's grandparents, all of whom are around 80, and firmly establishes that each pill will make a person 20 years younger.\\
15th Sep '17 11:23:13 AM jto5334t
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15th Sep '17 11:21:38 AM jto5334t
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* ''Literature/CharlieAndTheGreatGlassElevator'': Mr. Wonka has a load of pills that can reduce the age of anyone who takes them. He offers them to Charlie Bucket's grandparents, all of whom are around 80, and firmly establishes that each pill will make a person 20 years younger.\\

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* ''Literature/CharlieAndTheGreatGlassElevator'': Creator/RoaldDahl wrote two books about a boy named Charlie and a chocolate factory owned by a Mr. Wonka, and even they have several idiotic moments:
** [[''Literature/CharlieAndTheChocolateFactory'' The first book]]:
*** In a story told to Charlie by his Grandpa Joe (a former worker for Mr. Wonka), Mr. Wonka travels to India to help a Indian prince named Pondicherry to build a palace out of chocolate. Once the work is done, Mr. Wonka, who (despite being apparently English) knows that the hot Indian climate won't let the palace stand for long, warns Pondicherry that he would start eating up the place now if he was the prince.\\
'''You’d Expect:''' For Pondicherry to realise that Wonka has a point and do exactly as he had suggested.\\
'''Instead:''' He rejects the warning, claiming that he didn't want the palace so that he could eat it up, but that he wanted to ''live'' in it. Unsurprising, the palace eventually melts with Pondicherry inside, [[TheCuckoolanderWasRight hammering home Wonka's point the hard way]].
*** Later, Mr. Wonka takes five lucky winners of 'Golden Tickets' ([[FatSlop Augustus]], [[SpoiledBrat Veruca]], Violet, Mike, and (of course) Charlie) on a tour of his factory. The first room they come to is the 'Chocolate Room'. It has a liquid chocolate river and waterfall, from which some (if not all) of the chocolate used in Wonka's products is sourced. Oh, and there is no railing to keep anyone back.\\
'''You’d Expect:''' The ''whole'' tour group would keep their distance.\\
'''Instead:''' Augustus goes to the edge of the liquid chocolate river and starts licking it up raw. One could point out that this was out of gluttony, but then again, it does lead to him falling in, nearly drowning and embarking on an unplanned journey up a pipe.
*** Not long after, they come to the Inventing Room, where Mr Wonka creates some of his wondrous products. One of the products are a kind of gobstopper that can never get smaller or run out of favours. Violet thinks it's like the gum she has a habit of chewing, intent on trying one, but Mr Wonka stops her, telling her that if one was to chew them they could break their teeth.\\
'''You'd Expect:''' If Mr Wonka shows them gum, Violet would just stand and watch.\\
'''Instead:''' When Mr Wonka shows them a kind of gum that has the favour of a three-course meal (tomato soup, roast beef and baked potato, and blueberry pie and ice cream), Violet grabs it and starts chewing on it. Of course, the gum has a flaw - once you reach the blueberry pie you swell up, turn blue and end up looking like a blueberry, as Violet finds out. While the swelling is reversed, the skin change is partially irreversible.
*** During the tour, Mr. Wonka tells an anecdote about a test of a kind of fizzy drink that makes one lift upwards against gravity. He gave it an Oompa-Loompa (a kind of little people who work for Wonka) in the backyard, the last place to drink the drink, and the poor little guy ends up levitating.\\
'''You'd Think:''' That the Oompa-Loompa would burp, which is the only way to counter the effects of the drink.\\
'''Instead:''' He doesn't and ends up flying into space.\\
'''Extra Points:''' Charlie outright states that the guy should have burped, to which Wonka agrees.
*** Another of the factory rooms contains nuts, and Mr Wonka has trained squirrels to select the best for his nutter bars. Veruca wants to have one of them, but when her parents (who are accompanying her) ask Mr Wonka for a price, the chocolater's reply is this: "Not for sale, she can't have one!"\\
'''You'd Expect:''' Veruca to take Wonka's word for it and not go any further.\\
'''Instead:''' She attempts to steal one of the squirrels anyway, bursting into the room to do so. The squirrels all gang up on her. They decide that she's a 'bad nut' and throw her in the garbage, followed by her parents. Then it's revealed that she would been burned in the factory incinerator if it wasn't one of those days when it wasn't lit. In the 1971 film version (but not the 2005 one), they used geese and golden eggs instead, but the results are similar.
*** Mr. Wonka takes the group on a ride on his glass lift (or [[YouKeepUsingThatWord 'elevator']] as he keeps calling it in the next book) that can go in any direction, and they arrive at a room where the factory is experimenting with interactive television advertising that can generate real chocolate. The experiment, performed by suited Oompa-Loompas, works using a camera that, when activated in front of giant-size chocolate, [[HollywoodScience makes it disappear and makes it reappear again, shrunk down, on an interactive screen]] (similar to how real television imagery would work), the suits protecting the Oompa-Loompas from the effects of the camera. Mike, a television nut, has seen everything, and asks about things that could be 'sent by television'. When he suggests humans, Mr Wonka implies he is mad!\\
'''You'd Expect:''' Mike would do nothing more and let the Oompa-Loompas do their thing.\\
'''Instead:''' Mike tests his theory on ''himself'', [[IncrediblyShrinkingMan causing him to shrink]], and causing the Oompa-Loompas to [[NoodlePerson overstretch him when attempting to bring him back to normal]].
** In [[''Literature/CharlieAndTheGreatGlassElevator'' the second book,]]
Mr. Wonka has a load of pills that can reduce the age of anyone who takes them. He offers them to Charlie Bucket's grandparents, all of whom are around 80, and firmly establishes that each pill will make a person 20 years younger.\\



'''Instead:''' They don't and they each take four pills. Two of them are reduced to babies, and one of them, a 78 year old woman, actually removes herself from existence, forcing Charlie and Mr Wonka to risk their lives trying to rescue her, and later waste a large amount of the pills (each of which is VERY hard and expensive to produce) getting her back to normal.

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'''Instead:''' They don't and they each take four pills. Two of them are reduced to babies, and one of them, a 78 year old woman, actually removes herself from existence, forcing Charlie and Mr Wonka to risk their lives trying to rescue her, and later her. Luckily, Wonka also created a liquid that reverses the effects of the pills.\\
'''But You'd Expect:''' Enough of said liquid to be dumped into order to bring the woman back.\\
'''Instead:''' They use so much of it that she ends up centuries old, making them
waste a large amount of the pills (each of which is VERY hard and expensive to produce) getting her back to normal.
8th Sep '17 1:11:11 AM PaulA
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* In Creator/HPLovecraft's novella "The Whisperer in Darkness", the main character Wilmarth has been communicating with a scholar living in [[LovecraftCountry remote Vermont]] who has found significant evidence of a powerful alien species operating in the region who are very dangerous towards humans investigating them. His friend has constantly urged him not to visit, in case the aliens, or their human contacts, decide to deal with him too. Throughout the story, he receives increasingly frantic letters from his pen pal reporting that his house was getting attacked at night. Then, one day, he gets a letter from his friend reversing his position about the Aliens. His friend asks him to come to Vermont, on a train that would arrive at 10 at night, and to bring every bit of their correspondence.\\

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* In Creator/HPLovecraft's novella "The Whisperer in Darkness", the "Literature/TheWhispererInDarkness":
** The
main character Wilmarth has been communicating with a scholar living in [[LovecraftCountry remote Vermont]] who has found significant evidence of a powerful alien species operating in the region who are very dangerous towards humans investigating them. His friend has constantly urged him not to visit, in case the aliens, or their human contacts, decide to deal with him too. Throughout the story, he receives increasingly frantic letters from his pen pal reporting that his house was getting attacked at night. Then, one day, he gets a letter from his friend reversing his position about the Aliens. His friend asks him to come to Vermont, on a train that would arrive at 10 at night, and to bring every bit of their correspondence.\\



** From the opposite side, the scholar Akeley. He believes that the aliens should be left alone because he's afraid that if they were attacked by humans they would decide to just take over, and he intends to leave his home in Vermont to live with his son in California\\

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** From the opposite side, the scholar Akeley. He believes that the aliens should be left alone because he's afraid that if they were attacked by humans they would decide to just take over, and he intends to leave his home in Vermont to live with his son in California\\California.\\
31st Aug '17 10:37:32 AM MsCC93
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'''You'd Expect:''' Mr. Krupp to see through their disguise and refuse to hire them. He could try to show a funny side and joke to them that they do not work with extraterrestrials. What could help is the fact that [[PaperThinDisguise the aliens' disguises are very bad and]] [[BadBadActinglook totally unconvincing]]. Not only that, but they have tentacles, rather than hands or feet.\\

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'''You'd Expect:''' Mr. Krupp to see through their disguise and refuse to hire them. He could try to show a funny side and joke to them that they do not work with extraterrestrials. What could help is the fact that [[PaperThinDisguise the aliens' disguises are very bad and]] [[BadBadActinglook [[BadBadActing look totally unconvincing]]. Not only that, but they have tentacles, rather than hands or feet.\\
31st Aug '17 10:37:12 AM MsCC93
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'''You'd Expect:''' Mr. Krupp to see through their disguise and refuse to hire them. He could try to show a funny side and joke to them that they do not work with extraterrestrials. What could help is the fact that [[BadBadActing the aliens' disguises are very bad and look totally unconvincing]]. Not only that, but they have tentacles, rather than hands or feet.\\

to:

'''You'd Expect:''' Mr. Krupp to see through their disguise and refuse to hire them. He could try to show a funny side and joke to them that they do not work with extraterrestrials. What could help is the fact that [[BadBadActing [[PaperThinDisguise the aliens' disguises are very bad and look and]] [[BadBadActinglook totally unconvincing]]. Not only that, but they have tentacles, rather than hands or feet.\\
24th Aug '17 8:34:25 PM wingedcatgirl
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** In the ''Literature/DiaryOfAWimpyKid'' series, there is at least one scenario per book where Protagonist Greg gets in trouble.\\

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** * In the ''Literature/DiaryOfAWimpyKid'' series, there is at least one scenario per book where Protagonist Greg gets in trouble.\\



'''The Result''': Greg ends up in more trouble than he may have already been in.\\
** In ''Literature/{{Dracula}}'', the eponymous Count preys upon innocent Lucy, until the all-knowing Dr Van Helsing arrives. After Lucy dies, returns as a vampire, and is bloodily dispatched by the shaken heroes, Van Helsing and Mina Harker put together the scattered diary records and other clues to discern the villain behind it, and the group bands together to hunt down Dracula. \\

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'''The Result''': Greg ends up in more trouble than he may have already been in.\\
**
in.
*
In ''Literature/{{Dracula}}'', the eponymous Count preys upon innocent Lucy, until the all-knowing Dr Van Helsing arrives. After Lucy dies, returns as a vampire, and is bloodily dispatched by the shaken heroes, Van Helsing and Mina Harker put together the scattered diary records and other clues to discern the villain behind it, and the group bands together to hunt down Dracula. \\
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