History WebVideo / HistoryOfTheEntireWorldIGuess

** [[{{Pun}} "Damn," said Amsterdam.]] ''({{beat}})'' "We gotta start pillaging some stuff."

*** [[{{Pun}} "Damn," said Amsterdam.]] ''({{beat}})'' "We gotta start pillaging some stuff."

** [[{{Pun}} "Damn," said Amsterdam.]] ''({{beat}})'' "We gotta start pillaging some stuff."

** "Guess who's in Rome? Barbarians! What's a barbarian? 'Non-Romans,' said the Romans, being invaded by non-Romans."\\

*** [[{{Pun}} "Damn," said Amsterdam.]] ''({{beat}})'' "We gotta start pillaging some stuff."

*** "Britain and France are still hungry."[[note]]Don't worry, they never got Thailand.[[/note]]

** On European powers colonizing the Americas: "We got to start pillaging some stuff."

** "[[BlackComedyRape I know! let's rape Africa!]]" said Europe, scrambling to see who could rape it the fastest."[[note]]Don't worry, they never got Ethiopia.[[/note]]
** "Britain and France are still hungry."[[note]]Don't worry, they never got Thailand.[[/note]]

* MotorMouth: As with WebVideo/HistoryOfJapan, this is necessary when you want to tell billions of years worth of history in twenty minutes. There is [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1QoA7MjeaT8 exactly one minute]] worth of video with no dialogue.

** [[RootingForTheEmpire Congratulating]] various Turkish empires over history for invading Southwestern Asia.
** "You could make a religion out of this!" is repeated several times throughout the video. Eventually, when the people of France cut the heads off of the royalty, he [[RunningGagged interrupts it.]][[note]]The attempts at establishing the Cult of Reason and later the Cult of the Supreme Being as national religions during the UsefulNotes/FrenchRevolution didn't really go anywhere, with Napoleon Bonaparte banning both in 1802.[[/note]]

** [[UsefulNotes/DynastiesFromShangToQing The many states of China]]; "China is whole again... then it broke again."
* SarcasmMode: "'thanks for invading our homeland,' Said the Jews, who were starting to get tired of people invading their homeland."

* SerialEscalation: The original took nine minutes to explain the history of Japan. This one takes twenty minutes to explain the history of the entire world... [[TitleDrop i guess]].

** [[Webcomic/HyperboleAndAHalf CHRISTIANIZE ALL THE KINGDOMS!]]

** It's subtle, but during the scene where the nomads are ransacking China, if sped up, the rhythm of the horse nomad smacking China for coins resembles the rhythm of the intro music of [[VideoGame/SuperMarioBros1 a familiar game's first level.]] Not to mention that the smacking causes gold coins to appear with a very familiar sound from the same source.

** The pillaging of china by the horse nomads of Mongolia is also depicted like a character collecting coins in a platformer by bouncing against the scenery.

--->The economy's great and it'll probably be great forever. ''[BOOM]'' [[TheGreatDepression Just kidding.]]

* TheThemeParkVersion: Since he wants to take a large global view of history in a short time, Bill offers single thumb-tack summaries of famous events, some of which are DatedHistory (such as UsefulNotes/ImperialGermany being made to pay undue and punitive reparations) and others are overly simplified, such as his explanation of UsefulNotes/TheFrenchRevolution as merely out of non-payment of taxes for funding UsefulNotes/TheAmericanRevolution (which most see at best as a minor cause)[[note]]The king of France at the time is also [[ArtisticLicenseHistory mislabeled as "louis the 14th"]] (he was actually the 16th).[[/note]] and also reducing the ReignOfTerror to mere head-chops rather than EmergencyAuthority fighting a civil war.

* VerbalBackspace: When Chandragupta starts to conquer all of India--er, most of India! (Because no one conquers the Tamil kings.)[[labelnote:Who are the Tamil Kings?]]Merchants, probably[[/labelnote]]

** "Use a stronger egg. And put water in it. Have a baby, on land, in an egg. Water is in the egg. Baby in the egg, in the water, in the egg."\\

-->"Use a stronger egg. And put water in it. Have a baby, on land, in an egg. Water is in the egg. Baby in the egg, in the water, in the egg."\\
"Guess who's in Rome? Barbarians! What's a barbarian? Non-Romans, said the Romans, being invaded by non-Romans."\\
"Let's bring stuff to the coast and sell it, and become the Swahili on the Swahili Coast, said the Swahili on the Swahili Coast."\\
"What should we blame on Spain? [[UsefulNotes/SpanishAmericanWar Let's blame the Maine on Spain!]] So they blamed the Maine on Spain."
-->russia's to do list:\\

-->"Let's invent a thing inventor, said the thing inventor inventor after being invented by a thing inventor."

"Nice going Genghis! I bet that [the Mongol Empire] will last a long time." ''[[InstantlyProvenWrong (Mongol Empire falls apart before he completes the sentence)]]''\\

* FlippingTheBird: Done by the American colonies in response to Britain taxing them[[note]] without representation[[/note]]. Ironically, the {{Bowdlerise}}d version linked above edits out the ''verbal'' swearing, but not ''this'' instance of potentially offensive content.

* BlackComedy: There were already hints of it in the original, but it's in full force here. %%

** "Japan is conquering the east, and they're so excited about it they [[UsefulNotes/SecondSinoJapaneseWar rape Nanking]] way too hard. They should probably just deny it."

** "We got to start pillaging some stuff."
** "Germany's back, featuring Hitler the angry moustache model! And he's mad at the Jews for existing!"
** "The Aztecs and Inca empires are off to a good start. Wonder if they know that Europe just discovered their continent..." ''(Grim Reaper Looms)''
* BlandNameProduct: "squirrel search" appears in the technology montage. %%I think it was there? Can't check right now, limited data plan
* BlatantLies: [[UsefulNotes/WorldWarI the great war]] is so great, they won't need a second one!

* DamnedByFaintPraise: Turns out that ''some'' of the Crusades ''almost'' didn't fail.[[note]]While the crusades as a whole ''did'' fail in their implicit goal of permanently removing Islam from the Holy Land, many of them succeeded in their explicit goals of conquering certain regions or repelling Islamic expansion.[[/note]]

* BlackComedy: There were already hints of it in the original, but it's in full force here.

** "Japan is conquering the east, and they're so excited about it they [[UsefulNotes/SecondSinoJapaneseWar rape Nanking]] way too hard. [[CrossesTheLineTwice They should probably just deny it.]]"

** "The Aztecs and Inca empires are off to a good start. Wonder if they know that Europe just discovered their continent..." (Grim Reaper Looms)

* BookEnds: The video ends with "by the way where the hell are we?" and starts with "hi, you're on a rock floating in space, pretty cool huh?".

* CallBack: A couple of jokes return from WebVideo/HistoryOfJapan:

* BegoneBribe: Chandragupta wants Seleucus to get the hell out, and gives him 500 elephants to get the hell out.

->by the way, where the hell are we?

** [=9/11=]: "Whoops, someone just attacked America."

--> "Don't worry about Rome, [[ForegoneConclusion it won't fall]]."\\

* {{Tradesnark}}: Time™

** "Please remain Christian. We will check in later to see if you're still Christian when you [[Series/MontyPythonsFlyingCircus least expect.]]"

* TheSingularity: Hinted to happen in the year [[TwentyMinutesIntoTheFuture 2028]]. [[note]]thanks to thing inventor inventors, who invent thing inventors after being invented by thing inventors![[/note]]

--> "That's bullshit. This whole thing is bullshit. That's a scam. Fuck the church. Here's 95 reasons why."

---> Finish Him!!

** "You could make a religion out of this!" is repeated several times throughout the video. Eventually, when the people of France cut the heads off of the royalty, he [[RunningGagged interrupts it.]][[note]]The attempts at establishing the Cult of Reason and later the Cult of the Supreme Being as national religions during the UsefulNotes/FrenchRevolution didn't really go anywhere.[[/note]]

* TheSingularity: Hinted to happen in the year [[TwentyMinutesIntoTheFuture 2028]]. [[note]]thanks to thing inventor inventors, who invent thing inventors, being invented by thing inventors![[/note]]

* NamesTheSame: [[InvokedTrope Invoked]], Chandragupta and Gupta... first name Chandra. [[labelnote:Ok, I get it.]]For those not in the know, the first one is Chandragupta Maurya, India's first emperor, and the latter is king Chandra the first of the Gupta dynasty, several centuries later. [[DontExplainTheJoke But that would ruin the joke]].[[/labelnote]]

* SirSwearsalot: Martin Luther (founder of Lutheranism and instigator of the Protestant reformation), at least compared to the rest of the cast.

* BilingualBonus: The invention of the telegraph showns "Hi I just sent you a message thru a wire" being sent via Morse code... but the Morse code in the audio track actually says "Sex LOL".

* MurderIsTheBestSolution: Robespierre's answer to French wealth inequality? Cut everybody's heads off! [[note]]You could make a religion out of this.[[/note]]

%% ArtisticLicenseHistory: A portrait of "King Louis XVI" is labelled as "King Louis the XIV," most likely due to general misconceptions of who was ruling during the French revolution.

* VerbalBackspace: When Chandragupta starts to conquer all of India--er, most of India! (Because no one conquers the Tamil kings.)

** It's subtle, but during the scene where the nomads are ransacking China, if sped up, the rhythm of the horse nomad smacking China for coins resembles the rhythm of the intro music of [[VideoGame/SuperMarioBros a familiar game's first level.]] Not to mention that the smacking causes gold coins to appear with a very familiar sound from the same source.
* TheSingularity: hinted to happen in the year [[TwentyMinutesIntoTheFuture 2028]]. [[note]]thanks to thing inventor inventors, who invent thing inventors, being invented by thing inventors![[/note]]

--->The economy's great and it'll probably be great forever. ''[BOOM]'' [[UsefulNotes/TheGreatDepression Just kidding.]]

--->The economy's great and it'll probably be great forever. ''[BOOM]'' Just kidding.