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* RageBreakingPoint: Downplayed, but Juice describing him as the voicebox of a Teddy Ruxpin causes Nine to finally snap at him.
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* RageBreakingPoint: Downplayed, but Juice describing him them as the voicebox of a Teddy Ruxpin causes Nine to finally snap at him.
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* TheLawOfConservationOfDetail: Juice lampshades the use of it throughout the series by going through a laundry list of things Nine was probably worried about before they shut down to charge. [[labelnote:Click here for the list]]The other southern coastal states are fine (save Florida), they lost the Caribbean but managed to save everyone in it, the rest of the world isn't dead, the U.S. citizens were relocated during the incident and Maine only looks funny because Canada got a bit of territory for helping with the relocation, babies and children were still able to grow up, they're not in the Matrix (and if they are it doesn't really matter), and the probes aren't going to die.[[/labelnote]]
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* TheLawOfConservationOfDetail: Juice lampshades the use of it throughout the series by going through a laundry list of things Nine was probably worried about before they shut down to charge. [[labelnote:Click here for the list]]The other southern coastal states are fine (save Florida), they lost the Caribbean but managed to save everyone in it, the rest of the world isn't dead, the U.S. citizens were relocated during the incident and Maine only looks funny because Canada got a bit of territory for helping with the relocation, babies and children were still able to grow up, they're not in the Matrix (and if they are it doesn't really matter), and the probes aren't going to die.[[/labelnote]]
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* RageBreakingPoint: Downplayed, but Juice describing him as the voicebox of a Teddy Ruxpin causes Nine to finally snap at him.
-->'''Nine''': You know what, fuck you.
** Nine refusing to let go of the fact that the Space Program ended causes Ten to just scream "WHY?"
-->'''Nine''': You know what, fuck you.
** Nine refusing to let go of the fact that the Space Program ended causes Ten to just scream "WHY?"
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--->'''Juice:''' HAAAAAAAAAAAA\\
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* {{Foreshadowing}}: During Chapter 8, during a discussion about laying down sidewalk, there is a disconcertingly long pause after the line "And it's not like there's any kids around."
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* ChildlessDystopia: Zig-zagged. For the most part, the world is a pretty great place to live in, with fairly little [[WhoWantsToLiveForever immortal ennui]]. On the other hand, humanity's ways of passing the time strike Nine as pretty unsettling, and people tend to avoid talking about the absence of children; one character breaks down in tears after seeing a modern-day mural of a group of kids.
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** Just one chapter later, Juice suddenly using proper punctuation when talking about Game 27 get acknowledged by Ten.
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** Just one chapter later, Juice suddenly using proper punctuation when talking about Game 27 get gets acknowledged by Ten.
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** PlayedForLaughs with Ten momentarily abandoning proper capitalization and punctuation in reaction to Game 27, and to Nine admitting that they believe in a higher power.
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** PlayedForLaughs with Ten momentarily abandoning proper capitalization and punctuation in reaction to Game 27, 27 and to Nine admitting that they believe in a higher power.
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badass cleanup :)
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* BadassGrandma: Nancy [=McGunnell=] was 72 when humanity stopped aging. She not only plays football, she deliberately jumps into a tornado as part of a game.
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* CoolOldLady: Nancy [=McGunnell=] was 72 when humanity stopped aging. She not only plays football, she deliberately jumps into a tornado as part of a game.
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* AbsentAliens: Humanity searched for life beyond their planet, but found nothing.
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* MadnessMantra: In the initial article, "Something has gone terribly wrong."
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* MadnessMantra: In the initial article, "Something has gone is terribly wrong."
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Correcting the Madness Mantra.
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->''Something has gone terribly wrong.''
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->''Something has gone is terribly wrong.''
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-->''"[[MadnessMantra Something has gone terribly wrong.]]"''
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-->''"[[MadnessMantra Something has gone is terribly wrong.]]"''
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:'''[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/dea1fwfu0aarzww.jpg]]
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[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/dea1fwfu0aarzww.jpg]]
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-->'''Ten''': I mean, I love the people down there, I do. I am in love with every single one of those little critters. That doesn't mean the slapstick injury isn't funny.
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-->'''Ten''': In the meantime, Juice, maybe you could put on something light for us.
-->'''Juice''': k
-->'''Ten''': [[TemptingFate As long as it's not]]
-->'''Juice''': GAME 27 IT IS
-->'''Ten''': [[BigNo NO!]]
-->'''Juice''': k
-->'''Ten''': [[TemptingFate As long as it's not]]
-->'''Juice''': GAME 27 IT IS
-->'''Ten''': [[BigNo NO!]]
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Changed line(s) 31,32 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Nine''': I need to make a partition in my data storage. [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall This is the end, right? The end of this story?]]
-->'''Ten''': We were always at the end.\\
-->'''Ten''': We were always at the end.\\
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-->'''Tim''': Who are you talking to?
-->'''Eddie''': Don't worry about it.
-->'''Eddie''': Don't worry about it.
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-->'''Thuy''': If you turned off the game and turned it back on in a year, the line of scrimmage might be, like, 50 miles away from where it was.
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--->'''Juice''': HAAAAAAAAAAAA\\
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-->'''Lori''': You know, actually, I went back and looked it up. I'd lived there for two years back in 7174. And I realized I'd arranged the furniture pretty much the same way and everything. Oh God, it was so weird.
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-->'''Nine''': I think I'm fascinated by this game.
-->'''Juice''': YES
-->'''Ten''': NO
-->'''Juice''': YES
-->'''Ten''': NO
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-->'''Thuy''': And then... [Washington's football team] just fell off a cliff.\\
'''Roger''': That's really fun to say. Because you know, we're always figuratively saying, "oh, they fell off a cliff." Like, their offense stalled out or something. [[NotHyperbole No,]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext they fell off a cliff for real.]]
'''Roger''': That's really fun to say. Because you know, we're always figuratively saying, "oh, they fell off a cliff." Like, their offense stalled out or something. [[NotHyperbole No,]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext they fell off a cliff for real.]]
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-->'''Nine''': Uh, the readability of this is kinda\\
'''Ten''': Shut the fuck up.\\
'''Nine''': Okay.
'''Ten''': Shut the fuck up.\\
'''Nine''': Okay.
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Changed line(s) 117,120 (click to see context) from:
-->'''Juice''': do u have any idea how goddam funny it is when someone steps on a garden hoe\\
'''Juice''': back in the day i tracked every garden hoe lying on the ground in the whole world [...] and i'd just sit up here & watch em & watch em & watch em. swear to god for like 200 yrs that's all i did\\
'''Ten''': He's not lying. He did. I mean, I did too. It was pretty funny.\\
'''Juice''': and [[LudicrousPrecision 0.2248257%]] of the time they'd step on the teeth and itd push up and hit em in the face like BLAAAPP. rarest of jewels.
'''Juice''': back in the day i tracked every garden hoe lying on the ground in the whole world [...] and i'd just sit up here & watch em & watch em & watch em. swear to god for like 200 yrs that's all i did\\
'''Ten''': He's not lying. He did. I mean, I did too. It was pretty funny.\\
'''Juice''': and [[LudicrousPrecision 0.2248257%]] of the time they'd step on the teeth and itd push up and hit em in the face like BLAAAPP. rarest of jewels.
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-->'''Juice''': god\\
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-->'''Ten''': And now boredom is their only enemy. And they get up in the morning and fight it every day of their eternal lives. Recreation and play sustain them. Football sustains them.
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-->'''Ten''': Listen to me. You are not on a space probe.\\
'''Nine''': What?\\
'''Ten''': Nine, [[TomatoInTheMirror you are a space probe.]]
'''Nine''': What?\\
'''Ten''': Nine, [[TomatoInTheMirror you are a space probe.]]
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--->'''Ten''': Aaaand ... people are tuning out. We're down to 106 listeners.
--->'''Nine''': People are listening to us? Like, people on Earth?
--->'''Ten''': Well, they were! Only 98 now. [[SarcasmMode Thanks for that, Juice. Thank you.]]
--->'''Nine''': People are listening to us? Like, people on Earth?
--->'''Ten''': Well, they were! Only 98 now. [[SarcasmMode Thanks for that, Juice. Thank you.]]
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--->'''Juice''': you know who would've wandered out there? just to do it?
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--->'''Nine''': Children.
--->'''Juice''': children.
--->'''Juice''': children.
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--->'''Ten''': Wait, no. It's heading for San Fran, see?
--->'''Juice''': livermore
--->'''Ten''': Or yeah, Livermore. Just a little bit east
--->'''Juice''': [[OhCrap oh no]]
--->'''Ten''': It's\\
--->'''Juice''': livermore
--->'''Ten''': Or yeah, Livermore. Just a little bit east
--->'''Juice''': [[OhCrap oh no]]
--->'''Ten''': It's\\
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--->'''Juice''': [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness oh my god no]]
--->'''Ten''': Is it gonna drop near the
--->'''Juice''': it's headed for [[http://www.centennialbulb.org/ the Bulb]].
--->'''Ten''': [[TemptingFate No, come on, it's not gonna hit the Bulb]]
--->'''Juice''': it's headed straight for it
--->'''Ten''': Is it gonna drop near the
--->'''Juice''': it's headed for [[http://www.centennialbulb.org/ the Bulb]].
--->'''Ten''': [[TemptingFate No, come on, it's not gonna hit the Bulb]]
--->'''Juice''': it's headed straight for it
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-->'''Ten''': I think they're just doing the best they can with immortality. A human being will rarely admit this to you, but they tend to be terrified of living forever. They were born and raised with the understanding that their lives would end. They've achieved everything they wanted to achieve, all the ills that plagued them.\\
'''Ten''': And now boredom is their only enemy. And they get up in the morning and fight it every day of their eternal lives. Recreation and play sustain them. Football sustains them. And if you find yourself in a football game that's such a gargantuan task, that seems undefeatable, that will claim eons of your time and your passion?\\
'''Ten''': I think that makes you one of the lucky ones.
'''Ten''': And now boredom is their only enemy. And they get up in the morning and fight it every day of their eternal lives. Recreation and play sustain them. Football sustains them. And if you find yourself in a football game that's such a gargantuan task, that seems undefeatable, that will claim eons of your time and your passion?\\
'''Ten''': I think that makes you one of the lucky ones.
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-->'''Juice''': 10 thinks shes so smart and then she up and kills almost 8 billion people with a typo\\
'''Juice''': i am gonna give her so much shit
'''Juice''': i am gonna give her so much shit
to:
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** PlayedForLaughs with Ten momentarily abandoning proper capitalization and punctuation in reaction to Game 27, and to Nine admitting that they believe in a higher power.
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* PostScarcityEconomy: Somehow, it's not quite clear how.
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* TakeThat: Jon Bois takes the opportunity to take potshots at several things in this story. The Burger King patty, for one, is viciously savaged in the [[https://www.sbnation.com/a/17776-football/livermore-california Livermore, California chapter]].
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* TheLawOfConservationOfDetail: Juice lampshades the use of it throughout the series by going through a laundry list of things Nine was probably worried about before they shut down to charge. [[labelnote:Click here for the list]]The other southern coastal states are fine (save Florida), They lost the Caribbean but managed to save everyone in it, The rest of the world isn't dead, The U.S. citizens were relocated during the incident and Maine only looks funny because Canada got a bit of territory for helping with the relocation, Babies and children were still able to age to an extent, They're not in the Matrix (and if they are it doesn't really matter), and the probes aren't going to die.[[/labelnote]]
to:
* TheLawOfConservationOfDetail: Juice lampshades the use of it throughout the series by going through a laundry list of things Nine was probably worried about before they shut down to charge. [[labelnote:Click here for the list]]The other southern coastal states are fine (save Florida), They they lost the Caribbean but managed to save everyone in it, The the rest of the world isn't dead, The the U.S. citizens were relocated during the incident and Maine only looks funny because Canada got a bit of territory for helping with the relocation, Babies babies and children were still able to age to an extent, They're grow up, they're not in the Matrix (and if they are it doesn't really matter), and the probes aren't going to die.[[/labelnote]]
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Changed line(s) 92 (click to see context) from:
* TheLawOfConservationOfDetail: Juice lampshades the use of it throughout the series by going through a laundry list of things Nine was probably worried about before they shut down to charge. [[labelnote:Click here for the list]]The other southern coastal states are fine (save Florida), They lost the Caribbean but managed to save everyone in it, The rest of the world isn't dead, The U.S. citizens were relocated during the incident and Maine only looks funny because Canada got a bit of territory for helping with the relocation, They're not in the Matrix (and if they are it doesn't really matter), and the probes aren't going to die.[[/labelnote]]
to:
* TheLawOfConservationOfDetail: Juice lampshades the use of it throughout the series by going through a laundry list of things Nine was probably worried about before they shut down to charge. [[labelnote:Click here for the list]]The other southern coastal states are fine (save Florida), They lost the Caribbean but managed to save everyone in it, The rest of the world isn't dead, The U.S. citizens were relocated during the incident and Maine only looks funny because Canada got a bit of territory for helping with the relocation, Babies and children were still able to age to an extent, They're not in the Matrix (and if they are it doesn't really matter), and the probes aren't going to die.[[/labelnote]]
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* TheLawOfConservationOfDetail: Juice lampshades the use of it throughout the series by going through a laundry list of things Nine was probably worried about before they shut down to charge. [[labelnote:Click here for the list]]The other southern coastal states are fine (save Florida), They lost the Caribbean but managed to save everyone in it, The rest of the world isn't dead, The U.S. citizens were relocated during the incident and Maine only looks funny because Canada got a bit of territory for helping with the relocation, They're not in the Matrix (and if they are it doesn't really matter), and the probes aren't going to die.[/labelnote]
to:
* TheLawOfConservationOfDetail: Juice lampshades the use of it throughout the series by going through a laundry list of things Nine was probably worried about before they shut down to charge. [[labelnote:Click here for the list]]The other southern coastal states are fine (save Florida), They lost the Caribbean but managed to save everyone in it, The rest of the world isn't dead, The U.S. citizens were relocated during the incident and Maine only looks funny because Canada got a bit of territory for helping with the relocation, They're not in the Matrix (and if they are it doesn't really matter), and the probes aren't going to die.[/labelnote][[/labelnote]]
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* TheLawOfConservationOfDetail: Juice lampshades the use of it throughout the series by going through a laundry list of things Nine was probably worried about before they shut down to charge. [[labelnote:Click here for the list]]The other southern coastal states are fine (save Florida), They lost the Caribbean but managed to save everyone in it, The rest of the world isn't dead, The U.S. citizens were relocated during the incident and Maine only looks funny because Canada got a bit of territory for helping with the relocation, They're not in the Matrix (and if they are it doesn't really matter), and the probes aren't going to die.[/labelnote]
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"the 1960" to "the 1960s".
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* TeamMom: Ten is the most caring and level-headed of the group; waking up Nine and explaining most of that has happened since they were launched in the 1960. She also doubles as [[BigBrotherInstinct Little Sister Instinct]], often telling off Juice for harassing them and even formally introducing herself to Ten as their little sister once they properly wake up.
to:
* TeamMom: Ten is the most caring and level-headed of the group; waking up Nine and explaining most of that has happened since they were launched in the 1960.1960s. She also doubles as [[BigBrotherInstinct Little Sister Instinct]], often telling off Juice for harassing them and even formally introducing herself to Ten as their little sister once they properly wake up.
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Fixed a bit of grammar and stuff.
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* ColorCodedForYourConvenience: Different characters have different-coloured speech; 9 is red, 10 is green and Juice is yellow. Minor characters get their own colours too.
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* ColorCodedForYourConvenience: Different characters have different-coloured different-colored speech; 9 is red, 10 is green and Juice is yellow. Minor characters get their own colours colors too.
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* ContemplateOurNavels: Nine and Ten are prone to this. Chapter 7 and the intermission are dedicated to their discussion about why humans continue to dedicate their lives to football in stead of more important things.
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* ContemplateOurNavels: Nine and Ten are prone to this. Chapter 7 and the intermission are dedicated to their discussion about why humans continue to dedicate their lives to football in stead instead of more important things.
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* MiniSeries: Posted and updated daily, from July 5th to the 15th.
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* MiniSeries: Posted and updated daily, from July 5th to the 15th.15th of 2017.
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** In the Koy Detmer ball collecting game, Jason Durabo was in the lead until he got stabbed in the back and had his 26 balls destroyed. He gets a lead on another ball in the ruins of New York City, which would get him back in the game. But he finds the ball in question was signed by ''Ty'' Detmer, and worthless for his purposes. On the other hand, [[ThrowTheDogABone the trip to New York gives Jason a great idea for a new football game.]]
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** In the Koy Detmer ball collecting ball-collecting game, Jason Durabo was in the lead until he got stabbed in the back and had his 26 balls destroyed. He gets a lead on another ball in the ruins of New York City, which would get him back in the game. But he finds the ball in question was signed by ''Ty'' Detmer, and worthless for his purposes. On the other hand, [[ThrowTheDogABone the trip to New York gives Jason a great idea for a new football game.]]
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Not what Aluminum Christmas Trees means, unless someone out there genuinely thinks Pioneer 9 and Keith Ellison are implausible names for a space probe and a politician respectively.
Deleted line(s) 15,17 (click to see context) :
* AluminumChristmasTrees:
** [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pioneer_6,_7,_8,_and_9#Pioneer_9 Pioneer 9]], [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pioneer_10 Pioneer 10]], and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jupiter_Icy_Moons_Explorer JUICE]] are all real space probes.
** The named presidents we see after Trump in the first video ([[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Cotton Tom Cotton]], [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulsi_Gabbard Tulsi Gabbard]], [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keith_Ellison Keith Ellison]], and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_P._Bush George P. Bush]]) are actual politicians.
** [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pioneer_6,_7,_8,_and_9#Pioneer_9 Pioneer 9]], [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pioneer_10 Pioneer 10]], and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jupiter_Icy_Moons_Explorer JUICE]] are all real space probes.
** The named presidents we see after Trump in the first video ([[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Cotton Tom Cotton]], [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulsi_Gabbard Tulsi Gabbard]], [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keith_Ellison Keith Ellison]], and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_P._Bush George P. Bush]]) are actual politicians.
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* ShownTheirWork:
** [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pioneer_6,_7,_8,_and_9#Pioneer_9 Pioneer 9]], [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pioneer_10 Pioneer 10]], and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jupiter_Icy_Moons_Explorer JUICE]] are all real space probes.
** The named presidents we see after Trump in the first video ([[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Cotton Tom Cotton]], [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulsi_Gabbard Tulsi Gabbard]], [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keith_Ellison Keith Ellison]], and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_P._Bush George P. Bush]]) are actual politicians.
** [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pioneer_6,_7,_8,_and_9#Pioneer_9 Pioneer 9]], [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pioneer_10 Pioneer 10]], and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jupiter_Icy_Moons_Explorer JUICE]] are all real space probes.
** The named presidents we see after Trump in the first video ([[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Cotton Tom Cotton]], [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulsi_Gabbard Tulsi Gabbard]], [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keith_Ellison Keith Ellison]], and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_P._Bush George P. Bush]]) are actual politicians.
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** Averted ''hard'' in the first chapter. Ten reveals that she's three and a half trillion miles away from Nine; assuming Pioneer 9 is still in orbit of the Sun in 17776 and Pioneer 10's current speed of 7.479 miles/s, the math actually works out. The distance is also correct for their initial 434-year round-trip speed-of-light radio communications. Bois clearly did his homework.
to:
** Averted ''hard'' in the first chapter. Ten reveals that she's three and a half trillion miles away from Nine; assuming Pioneer 9 is still in orbit of the Sun in 17776 and Pioneer 10's current speed of 7.479 miles/s, the math actually works out. The distance is also correct for their initial 434-year round-trip speed-of-light radio communications. Bois clearly did his homework.
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* ShortRunners: The last chapter was published only ten days after the series started. Notably, it still managed to attract a sizeable fandom during its run.
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* BittersweetEnding: A minor one. The story ends with Nine needing to deactivate in order to charge. Ten reassures them that they ''are'' going to wake up again; at best, it may only take a few months, but it's not like time is an issue anymore, right?
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* BittersweetEnding: A minor one. The story ends with Nine needing to deactivate in order to charge. Ten reassures them that they ''are'' going to wake up again; at again. At best, it may only take a few months, but it's not like time is an issue anymore, right?
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** The [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centennial_Light the Bulb]] ends up getting accidentally destroyed by a 500 ball.
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** The [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centennial_Light the The Bulb]] ends up getting accidentally destroyed by a 500 ball.
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* TeamMom: Ten is the most caring and level-headed of the group; waking up Nine and explaining most of that has happened since he was launched in the 1960. She also doubles as [[BigBrotherInstinct Little Sister Instinct]], often telling off Juice for harassing him and even formally introducing herself to Ten as his little sister once he properly wakes up.
to:
* TeamMom: Ten is the most caring and level-headed of the group; waking up Nine and explaining most of that has happened since he was they were launched in the 1960. She also doubles as [[BigBrotherInstinct Little Sister Instinct]], often telling off Juice for harassing him them and even formally introducing herself to Ten as his their little sister once he they properly wakes wake up.
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* TeamMom: 10 seems to be the most caring, waking up 9 and telling off Juice for harassing them, although 10 refers to herself as 9's 'little sister'.
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* TeamMom: 10 seems to be Ten is the most caring, caring and level-headed of the group; waking up 9 Nine and explaining most of that has happened since he was launched in the 1960. She also doubles as [[BigBrotherInstinct Little Sister Instinct]], often telling off Juice for harassing them, although 10 refers to him and even formally introducing herself to Ten as 9's 'little sister'.his little sister once he properly wakes up.
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* BittersweetEnding: A minor one: the story ends with Nine needing to deactivate in order to charge. Ten reassures them that they ''are'' going to wake up again; at best, it may only take a few months, but it's not like time is an issue anymore, right?
to:
* BittersweetEnding: A minor one: the one. The story ends with Nine needing to deactivate in order to charge. Ten reassures them that they ''are'' going to wake up again; at best, it may only take a few months, but it's not like time is an issue anymore, right?
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[[quoteright:350:http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/dea1fwfu0aarzww.jpg]]
->''Something has gone terribly wrong.''
''[[https://www.sbnation.com/a/17776-football 17776]]'' is a surreal multimedia work, written and illustrated by Jon Bois and presented by the sports blog SB Nation. While at first glance it appears to be a simple article about the future of UsefulNotes/AmericanFootball, things quickly start to get... stranger.
Shortly after visiting the page, the actual story begins to unfold - concerning three space probes and American culture, past and "present" (as in 17776). And that present has a version of football that is ''very'' different than ours.
The first chapter was published on July 5th, 2017, and quickly went viral. The series concluded on July 15th.
Not to be confused with ''Theatre/SeventeenSeventySix''.
Due to the impossibility of describing the story in-depth without spoiling at least part of it, '''all spoilers below are unmarked.''' It's best if you read the story before reading the trope list so as not to spoil the experience.
----
!!This story contains examples of:
* AluminumChristmasTrees:
** [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pioneer_6,_7,_8,_and_9#Pioneer_9 Pioneer 9]], [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pioneer_10 Pioneer 10]], and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jupiter_Icy_Moons_Explorer JUICE]] are all real space probes.
** The named presidents we see after Trump in the first video ([[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Cotton Tom Cotton]], [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulsi_Gabbard Tulsi Gabbard]], [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keith_Ellison Keith Ellison]], and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_P._Bush George P. Bush]]) are actual politicians.
* AmusingInjuries: InUniverse, Ten remarks on her feelings about this trope:
-->'''Ten''': I mean, I love the people down there, I do. I am in love with every single one of those little critters. That doesn't mean the slapstick injury isn't funny.
* AudienceWhatAudience: After Eddie addresses the reader in chapter 20, Tim asks him who he's talking to.
* BadassGrandma: Nancy [=McGunnell=] was 72 when humanity stopped aging. She not only plays football, she deliberately jumps into a tornado as part of a game.
* BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor: Near the end of Chapter 9, Ten makes the mistake of having ''Juice'' change the channel.
-->'''Ten''': In the meantime, Juice, maybe you could put on something light for us.
-->'''Juice''': k
-->'''Ten''': [[TemptingFate As long as it's not]]
-->'''Juice''': GAME 27 IT IS
-->'''Ten''': [[BigNo NO!]]
* BigNo:
** Ten drops a couple of these in relation to [[BerserkButton Game 27]].
** It's also Juice's final reaction to a game of 500 destroying a historical artifact.
* BigWhy: During the third part of the intermission, Ten interrupts Nine's rambling with one of these - not in anguish, but rather to lead into her subsequent argument.
* BigYes: Juice's reaction to Nine becoming fascinated with Game 27.
* BittersweetEnding: A minor one: the story ends with Nine needing to deactivate in order to charge. Ten reassures them that they ''are'' going to wake up again; at best, it may only take a few months, but it's not like time is an issue anymore, right?
-->'''Nine''': I need to make a partition in my data storage. [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall This is the end, right? The end of this story?]]
-->'''Ten''': We were always at the end.\\
It's a free play, buddy. Clock's all zeroes.\\
It's after the end of the world.
** Also, for a story where one of the major themes is that no one dies anymore, there ''is'' a death in the form of the smashing of [[http://www.centennialbulb.org/ the Bulb]].
* BornUnlucky: Lacrecia Evans, whose poor luck over ten thousand years of a single game of 500 has attracted attention from sports historians and statisticians. If it were pure random chance, Lacrecia should have caught the ball about three hundred times in that time period--but somehow, she hasn't caught it once. And when her losing streak finally ends, even that victory is bittersweet... because she catches the throw that destroyed a historical artifact.
* BreakingTheFourthWall: During Chapter 20, Eddie Krieger decides to personally address the reader in regards to [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eleven_Jones_Cave Eleven Jones Cave]], specifically that it's extremely dangerous. [[FourthWallPsych However]], it's also implied that Eddie is actually insane and was talking to no one.
-->'''Tim''': Who are you talking to?
-->'''Eddie''': Don't worry about it.
* CallBack: Late in the first chapter, Nine immediately asks whether Music/SteelyDan is still together. Much later, chapter 20 opens with Eddie Krieger singing their song "The Caves of Altamira".
* {{Calvinball}}:
** Football has become this in the distant future. The rules multiplied over the centuries--many of them conflicting or outright contradictory--and the readers barely hear about any of them.
** The infamous Game 27 in particular is a LoopholeAbuse-laden clusterfuck: as best anyone can tell, it started off as a traditional 21st-century-style game, until one team used a combination of obscure rules to claim part of the field as their legal property, and everything spiraled out of control from there. Now the field is divided into 58 different territories (some of them containing houses, high-rise apartments, or a restaurant), and no one knows where the ball is.
** 500 has become a game where someone shoots a "football" that is 2 feet wide and weighs 120 pounds or more out of a cannon capable of reaching anywhere in the United States. The point system and the first person to get five hundred points becoming the new operator is still the same, however.
* TheCameo: The [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hubble_Space_Telescope Hubble Space Telescope]] briefly speaks in chapter 13.
* CausticCritic: InUniverse, the podcast ''Garbage Football'' serves to mock the worst of the sport's 15,000 year-long history.
* CollectorOfTheStrange: Chapter 4 eventually segues into a discussion about a group of people who decided to to hold a competition to try and find every ball [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koy_Detmer Koy Detmer]] had ever autographed.
* ColorCodedForYourConvenience: Different characters have different-coloured speech; 9 is red, 10 is green and Juice is yellow. Minor characters get their own colours too.
* CompleteImmortality: On April 7th, 2026, ''all of humanity'' achieved this somehow. They stopped dying and aging... at the cost of [[ImmortalInfertility Complete Infertility]], so no human babies have been born since about nine months in.
* ContemplateOurNavels: Nine and Ten are prone to this. Chapter 7 and the intermission are dedicated to their discussion about why humans continue to dedicate their lives to football in stead of more important things.
* DidNotThinkThisThrough: One possible explanation for why one game of football is currently stuck down a ravine.
* DrivenToSuicide: Ten jokingly threatens to crash into an asteroid as the Game 27 conversation continues. Fittingly, this is mere moments before she starts getting legitimately mad about it.
* DontTryThisAtHome: Ed Krieger is hiding in [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eleven_Jones_Cave Eleven Jones Cave]], which has dangerous concentrations of carbon dioxide. Ed blatantly breaks the fourth wall to warn you that you ''will'' die should you try to visit the cave yourself--emphasizing that CompleteImmortality is the only thing keeping Ed alive.
* DudeNotFunny: InUniverse, Juice's increasingly harsh jokes at Nine at the beginning of chapter 9 earns him the disapproval of Ten and eventually causes Nine to snap at him.
* EndingFatigue: InUniverse - with humanity becoming completely immortal, football begins to become increasingly elongated. Combined with the field being expanded to encompass entire states, and it's become common for a single game to take many years to play. It's only when it starts getting ridiculously slow that people start complaining, however, as evidenced in chapter 6:
-->'''Thuy''': If you turned off the game and turned it back on in a year, the line of scrimmage might be, like, 50 miles away from where it was.
* EstablishingCharacterMoment: The very first thing Juice does in the story is to mock Nine's camera.
--->'''Juice''': HAAAAAAAAAAAA\\
YOUR CAMERA\\
IS\\
TRAAAAASH
* FailedASpotCheck: While recounting her story of finding a new apartment in Chapter 4, Lori drops the bombshell that, while doing dishes one day, she suddenly realized ''she lived in that apartment before''.
-->'''Lori''': You know, actually, I went back and looked it up. I'd lived there for two years back in 7174. And I realized I'd arranged the furniture pretty much the same way and everything. Oh God, it was so weird.
* ForegoneConclusion: Chapter 18 concerns Lacrecia Evans being able to ''finally'' get the 500 ball. If you saw the ending of Chapter 17, you already know the end result of this latest launch.
-->IT'S BROKEN! IT'S BROKEN! IT'S GONE!\\
It went right through the roof. Right just, went right through it.\\
Oh my God. Oh my fucking God.
* ForeverWar: Some football matches, such as Game 96249 and Game 27, have already lasted for millennia and continue with no end in sight. And both sides just keep playing because they literally don't have anything better to do.
* FreezeFrameBonus:
** Since the reader only has less than a minute to read the starting article before the lettering suddenly blows up, a lot of the finer details turn into these.[[note]]You can read the article indefinitely [[http://archive.is/UasKN here.]][[/note]] For example, there's a fictitious "[[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment University of College]]" advertisement with this quote:
-->''"[[MadnessMantra Something has gone terribly wrong.]]"''
-->-- '''Jon Bois'''
** The first video opens on a rapidly scrolling list of all the presidents of the United States. The list continues past the present day - pausing at the right times reveals various future Presidents (all real world politicians, among them Bernie Sanders in 2049), and also that Donald Trump served two terms.
** Freeze-framing the gif in Chapter 4 reveals [[http://68.media.tumblr.com/5aec49e93797e02dca34ec3299501e2a/tumblr_osun4khsmZ1qf5nwno1_500.jpg major geographical changes to the US]], later confirmed to be from rising seawater due to the polar ice caps melting: the northeast has been reshaped (alluded to in the dialogue and final chapter image of New York), Lousiana and Florida have disappeared, and the San Francisco bay, now known as Lake Sacramento, runs the length of California, having spilled into the Central Valley.
* FromBadToWorse: Played for laughs: it was bad enough for Ten that Juice wants to talk about Game 27. Then:
-->'''Nine''': I think I'm fascinated by this game.
-->'''Juice''': YES
-->'''Ten''': NO
* TheFuture: Set in the ''very'' far future.
* TheHermit: Eddie Krieger. He lives inside a cave in Louisville so that he could win a losing game by waiting 10,000 years in his team's end zone.
* ImmortalityBeginsAtTwenty: As explained by Juice:
-->'''Juice:''' 10's wording was a little clumsy with regard to "people stopped aging": to clarify, babies in the womb in 2026 were indeed born and grew into adults, and all the children grew into adulthood as well.
* InfoDump:
** Chapters 3 and 5 consist of Ten informing Nine about things - for the former, how humanity had developed; for the latter, about the proliferation of nanomachines.
** Played for laughs in the final chapter. When the others realize that Nine needs to go offline to recharge, Juice rushes through as many of Nine's unanswered questions as he can in the remaining minute.
* InstantAIJustAddWater: Space probes just became sentient and developed humanlike minds and emotions from millennia of picking up radio waves in space.
* JumpScare: Anyone's first interaction with the story is going to be the article's lettering suddenly expanding without warning.
* LateArrivalSpoiler: Most fan art/discussions/etc. openly mention that 9, 10 and Juice are space probes. Downplayed, in that this is a spoiler [[FirstEpisodeSpoiler only for the first chapter]].
* LeaningOnTheFourthWall:
** Ten mentions how people are "tuning out" near the end of chapter 10, and goes on to explain to Nine that people on Earth are in fact listening to them talk (or were, until Juice began talking about capitalism running wild).
** Juice is practically ''livid'' when Nine reveals Ten mentioning the population of Earth being around 8 ''million'' people, not 8 ''billion''. He even plans to give her shit later for "[killing] almost 8 billion people with a typo".
* LiteralMetaphor: Lampshaded in chapter 6:
-->'''Thuy''': And then... [Washington's football team] just fell off a cliff.\\
'''Roger''': That's really fun to say. Because you know, we're always figuratively saying, "oh, they fell off a cliff." Like, their offense stalled out or something. [[NotHyperbole No,]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext they fell off a cliff for real.]]
* MadnessMantra: In the initial article, "Something has gone terribly wrong."
* MiniSeries: Posted and updated daily, from July 5th to the 15th.
* ModernStasis: Sure, they have all the advanced technology. They can make self-building buildings, they can fly from Arkansas to Paris in minutes, it's just that nobody wanted those things. People didn't want everything to be as efficient as possible. They instead preferred having to wait in a line at the grocery store or to sit on a bus that smells like cigarettes. Besides, what would be the point of speeding up every task when you literally have all the time in the world?
* MonumentalDamage: The Statue of Liberty is halfway underwater.
** The [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centennial_Light the Bulb]] ends up getting accidentally destroyed by a 500 ball.
* MoodWhiplash: The third part of the intermission builds up to one of the deepest moments in the entire story... with a brief interlude where Nine remarks on the [[PaintingTheMedium abstract way it's presented]]:
-->'''Nine''': Uh, the readability of this is kinda\\
'''Ten''': Shut the fuck up.\\
'''Nine''': Okay.
** Chapter 17 has the usual smooth jazz playing in a video as the satellites talk about where the ball might land. Then it goes into discordant droning and beeping sounds as the ball is fired and hits and destroys [[http://www.centennialbulb.org/ the Bulb]].
* {{Nanomachines}}: Chapter 5 reveals that they were first deployed in the 2800s, essentially being perfected by the 3500s. They serve to save people from accidents and environmental hazards.
* OOCIsSeriousBusiness:
** Nine telling Juice to go fuck himself is treated like a big moment. Ten acknowledges that this is Nine's first time dealing with anger and Juice is awed by it.
** Just one chapter later, Juice suddenly using proper punctuation when talking about Game 27 get acknowledged by Ten.
** In Chapter 15, Nine is so affected by Ten's lengthy discussion about humanity's new purpose in life that they start omitting ending punctuation and seem depressed overall. (Juice eventually manages to help them feel better.)
** In Chapter 17, Juice and Ten become ''horrified'' as they discover that the 500 ball is heading for Livermore, California. More specifically, [[http://www.centennialbulb.org/ the Bulb]].
* PaintingTheMedium: The third part of the intermission has a lot of this. As Nine and Ten move right, their text spaces eventually follow suit; Ten interrupts Nine's ramblings with a literal BigWhy; and when they start to drift upwards, the conversation has to be read from the bottom up (which Nine quickly lampshades).
* POVSequel: Chapter 18 is both this and an ImmediateSequel to Chapter 17, since it concerns Lacrecia Evans's perspective of the ill-fated 500 ball launch that smashed [[http://www.centennialbulb.org/ the Bulb]].
* RakeTake: Juice ([[NotSoAboveItAll and Ten]]) think these are hilarious.
-->'''Juice''': do u have any idea how goddam funny it is when someone steps on a garden hoe\\
'''Juice''': back in the day i tracked every garden hoe lying on the ground in the whole world [...] and i'd just sit up here & watch em & watch em & watch em. swear to god for like 200 yrs that's all i did\\
'''Ten''': He's not lying. He did. I mean, I did too. It was pretty funny.\\
'''Juice''': and [[LudicrousPrecision 0.2248257%]] of the time they'd step on the teeth and itd push up and hit em in the face like BLAAAPP. rarest of jewels.
* SelfDeprecation: Chapter 16 gets temporarily derailed when Juice learns that Ten told Nine that the population of Earth since 2026 was around 8 ''million''.
-->'''Juice''': god\\
10 thinks shes so smart [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall and then she up and kills almost 8 billion people with a typo]]\\
i am gonna give her so much shit
** The error gets alluded to again in Chapter 24, where a character gives the population of Chicago as 3 "billion", then immediately corrects herself to a more correct 3 million.
* SerialEscalation: American football underwent this once humanity became immortal. By the time the story begins, the playing field has expanded to include ''entire states'' within their boundaries, and it's common for games to subsequently take decades to finish. There's also the matter of tornadoes...
* SeriousBusiness:
** One of the story's underlying themes is how humanity will always revere games (in this case, American football) throughout all of time.
** The Koy Detmer ball collectors in chapter 4 take their game ''very'' seriously. Jason remarks on how another group had hacked into his computer to destroy his notes in where to find the balls.
* ShowWithinAShow: The podcast ''Garbage Football'', which is the sole focus of chapter 6.
* SkewedPriorities: A recurring source of humor throughout the story.
** Upon being informed of being a space probe, Nine proceeds to ask two questions: [[WhatYearIsThis the current year]]... and if Music/SteelyDan is still together.
** Juice is prone to this - he's not overly happy that humanity got rid of all its ills because it also got rid of Lunchables, and holds the {{nanomachines}} protecting humanity from dangers in some contempt because it prevents them from [[RakeTake stepping on garden hoes]]. (Ten admits to agreeing with him on the latter.)
* SoBadItsGood: In-universe. Chapter 10 revolves around Juice telling Nine about Game 27, a game between the Denver Broncos and the Pittsburgh Steelers during the 2080s/2090s that morphed into "a rainbow of failed ideas". Juice views it as this - Ten outright hates it. This divide only deepens when Juice reveals that ''people still turn up to watch it''.
* SpiritualSuccessor: ''17776'' was originally conceived as a sequel to Bois's earlier ''[[https://www.sbnation.com/2014/8/18/5998715/the-tim-tebow-cfl-chronicles The Tim Tebow CFL Chronicles]]'', and both works revolve around an absurdist take on football and share similar existentialist themes.
* TeamMom: 10 seems to be the most caring, waking up 9 and telling off Juice for harassing them, although 10 refers to herself as 9's 'little sister'.
* TomatoInTheMirror: TheReveal at the end of the first chapter - Nine is actually [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pioneer_6,_7,_8,_and_9#Pioneer_9 Pioneer 9]].
* UnfortunateNames: The hosts of ''Garbage Football'' pause their discussion of Game 96249 to mock the rural towns adjacent to the game, for having unimaginative names like Circleville, Meadows, and New Meadows.
* {{Utopia}}: The world depicted in the story is a strange case. Technically, it is a utopia - humanity has achieved all its goals, gotten past war and disease, and even become immortal... but now there's the emptiness of a lack of purpose to keep going.
-->'''Ten''': And now boredom is their only enemy. And they get up in the morning and fight it every day of their eternal lives. Recreation and play sustain them. Football sustains them.
* VictoryIsBoring: Humanity has rid themselves of all problems, including death. Now they spend all day playing or watching football.
* WhamEpisode: The end of Chapter 17 and the entirety of Chapter 18 combined concerns the latest 500 ball being launched... and crashing in Livermore, Calfornia. And smashing ''[[http://www.centennialbulb.org/ the Bulb]]''.
* WhamLine:
** From the end of the first chapter:
-->'''Ten''': Listen to me. You are not on a space probe.\\
'''Nine''': What?\\
'''Ten''': Nine, [[TomatoInTheMirror you are a space probe.]]
** Minor, but near the end of Chapter 10, Ten drops ''this'' bombshell:
--->'''Ten''': Aaaand ... people are tuning out. We're down to 106 listeners.
--->'''Nine''': People are listening to us? Like, people on Earth?
--->'''Ten''': Well, they were! Only 98 now. [[SarcasmMode Thanks for that, Juice. Thank you.]]
** At the very end of Chapter 16, where Juice and Nine discuss sections of the ground that no one has ever walked on, or even thought to walk on, despite having thousands of years of opportunities to do so, ends by bringing up something ''everyone'' reading this has thought about, but had yet to be discussed in-story.
--->'''Juice''': you know who would've wandered out there? just to do it?
--->[[{{Beat}} (long pause)]]
--->'''Nine''': Children.
--->'''Juice''': children.
** During Chapter 17, Juice and Ten are tracking the path of the 500 ball... and immediately become horrified as to where it's going:
--->'''Ten''': Wait, no. It's heading for San Fran, see?
--->'''Juice''': livermore
--->'''Ten''': Or yeah, Livermore. Just a little bit east
--->'''Juice''': [[OhCrap oh no]]
--->'''Ten''': It's\\
Looks like it's gonna drop near the
--->(pause)
--->'''Juice''': [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness oh my god no]]
--->'''Ten''': Is it gonna drop near the
--->'''Juice''': it's headed for [[http://www.centennialbulb.org/ the Bulb]].
--->'''Ten''': [[TemptingFate No, come on, it's not gonna hit the Bulb]]
--->'''Juice''': it's headed straight for it
* WhamShot:
** In a meta sense, the initial article's lettering suddenly expanding into black, leading into the actual beginning of the story.
** During the first video, the shot of the Statue of Liberty... only for the camera to pull back, showing it ''partially submerged in water'' (firmly establishing the setting).
* WhatYearIsThis: Nine asks this immediately after learning that they're a space probe.
* WhoWantsToLiveForever: Ten says the following after Nine comments on how all the players in Arizona seem crazy for playing a stalemated game for over ten thousand years:
-->'''Ten''': I think they're just doing the best they can with immortality. A human being will rarely admit this to you, but they tend to be terrified of living forever. They were born and raised with the understanding that their lives would end. They've achieved everything they wanted to achieve, all the ills that plagued them.\\
'''Ten''': And now boredom is their only enemy. And they get up in the morning and fight it every day of their eternal lives. Recreation and play sustain them. Football sustains them. And if you find yourself in a football game that's such a gargantuan task, that seems undefeatable, that will claim eons of your time and your passion?\\
'''Ten''': I think that makes you one of the lucky ones.
** Arguably inverted by Jason in Chapter 24, who expresses horror at the idea of mortality.
-->'''Jason:'''No other creature in the universe woke up every morning knowing it was guaranteed to die one day. Just us. Nobody should have to live with that. It's too much, it isn't right. No one ever should have had to bear it.
* WritersCannotDoMath: In the second chapter, Ten claims that there are 8 million people on Earth by the time immortality came about in 2026 - a stark fall from the 7 ''billion'' alive in 2017. This gets addressed (with some [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall indirect]] SelfDeprecation) in chapter 16, where Juice reveals that the actual number is a more logical 8 billion.
-->'''Juice''': 10 thinks shes so smart and then she up and kills almost 8 billion people with a typo\\
'''Juice''': i am gonna give her so much shit
** Averted ''hard'' in the first chapter. Ten reveals that she's three and a half trillion miles away from Nine; assuming Pioneer 9 is still in orbit of the Sun in 17776 and Pioneer 10's current speed of 7.479 miles/s, the math actually works out. The distance is also correct for their initial 434-year round-trip speed-of-light radio communications. Bois clearly did his homework.
* YankTheDogsChain:
** By pure luck, Lacrecia Evans winds up being in the right area to ''finally'' get the 500 ball, with a 99.9% probability of getting it. It's just a shame that the ball in question is the one that smashed [[http://www.centennialbulb.org/ the Bulb]].
** In the Koy Detmer ball collecting game, Jason Durabo was in the lead until he got stabbed in the back and had his 26 balls destroyed. He gets a lead on another ball in the ruins of New York City, which would get him back in the game. But he finds the ball in question was signed by ''Ty'' Detmer, and worthless for his purposes. On the other hand, [[ThrowTheDogABone the trip to New York gives Jason a great idea for a new football game.]]
----
->''Something has gone terribly wrong.''
''[[https://www.sbnation.com/a/17776-football 17776]]'' is a surreal multimedia work, written and illustrated by Jon Bois and presented by the sports blog SB Nation. While at first glance it appears to be a simple article about the future of UsefulNotes/AmericanFootball, things quickly start to get... stranger.
Shortly after visiting the page, the actual story begins to unfold - concerning three space probes and American culture, past and "present" (as in 17776). And that present has a version of football that is ''very'' different than ours.
The first chapter was published on July 5th, 2017, and quickly went viral. The series concluded on July 15th.
Not to be confused with ''Theatre/SeventeenSeventySix''.
Due to the impossibility of describing the story in-depth without spoiling at least part of it, '''all spoilers below are unmarked.''' It's best if you read the story before reading the trope list so as not to spoil the experience.
----
!!This story contains examples of:
* AluminumChristmasTrees:
** [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pioneer_6,_7,_8,_and_9#Pioneer_9 Pioneer 9]], [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pioneer_10 Pioneer 10]], and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jupiter_Icy_Moons_Explorer JUICE]] are all real space probes.
** The named presidents we see after Trump in the first video ([[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tom_Cotton Tom Cotton]], [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tulsi_Gabbard Tulsi Gabbard]], [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keith_Ellison Keith Ellison]], and [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_P._Bush George P. Bush]]) are actual politicians.
* AmusingInjuries: InUniverse, Ten remarks on her feelings about this trope:
-->'''Ten''': I mean, I love the people down there, I do. I am in love with every single one of those little critters. That doesn't mean the slapstick injury isn't funny.
* AudienceWhatAudience: After Eddie addresses the reader in chapter 20, Tim asks him who he's talking to.
* BadassGrandma: Nancy [=McGunnell=] was 72 when humanity stopped aging. She not only plays football, she deliberately jumps into a tornado as part of a game.
* BeCarefulWhatYouWishFor: Near the end of Chapter 9, Ten makes the mistake of having ''Juice'' change the channel.
-->'''Ten''': In the meantime, Juice, maybe you could put on something light for us.
-->'''Juice''': k
-->'''Ten''': [[TemptingFate As long as it's not]]
-->'''Juice''': GAME 27 IT IS
-->'''Ten''': [[BigNo NO!]]
* BigNo:
** Ten drops a couple of these in relation to [[BerserkButton Game 27]].
** It's also Juice's final reaction to a game of 500 destroying a historical artifact.
* BigWhy: During the third part of the intermission, Ten interrupts Nine's rambling with one of these - not in anguish, but rather to lead into her subsequent argument.
* BigYes: Juice's reaction to Nine becoming fascinated with Game 27.
* BittersweetEnding: A minor one: the story ends with Nine needing to deactivate in order to charge. Ten reassures them that they ''are'' going to wake up again; at best, it may only take a few months, but it's not like time is an issue anymore, right?
-->'''Nine''': I need to make a partition in my data storage. [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall This is the end, right? The end of this story?]]
-->'''Ten''': We were always at the end.\\
It's a free play, buddy. Clock's all zeroes.\\
It's after the end of the world.
** Also, for a story where one of the major themes is that no one dies anymore, there ''is'' a death in the form of the smashing of [[http://www.centennialbulb.org/ the Bulb]].
* BornUnlucky: Lacrecia Evans, whose poor luck over ten thousand years of a single game of 500 has attracted attention from sports historians and statisticians. If it were pure random chance, Lacrecia should have caught the ball about three hundred times in that time period--but somehow, she hasn't caught it once. And when her losing streak finally ends, even that victory is bittersweet... because she catches the throw that destroyed a historical artifact.
* BreakingTheFourthWall: During Chapter 20, Eddie Krieger decides to personally address the reader in regards to [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eleven_Jones_Cave Eleven Jones Cave]], specifically that it's extremely dangerous. [[FourthWallPsych However]], it's also implied that Eddie is actually insane and was talking to no one.
-->'''Tim''': Who are you talking to?
-->'''Eddie''': Don't worry about it.
* CallBack: Late in the first chapter, Nine immediately asks whether Music/SteelyDan is still together. Much later, chapter 20 opens with Eddie Krieger singing their song "The Caves of Altamira".
* {{Calvinball}}:
** Football has become this in the distant future. The rules multiplied over the centuries--many of them conflicting or outright contradictory--and the readers barely hear about any of them.
** The infamous Game 27 in particular is a LoopholeAbuse-laden clusterfuck: as best anyone can tell, it started off as a traditional 21st-century-style game, until one team used a combination of obscure rules to claim part of the field as their legal property, and everything spiraled out of control from there. Now the field is divided into 58 different territories (some of them containing houses, high-rise apartments, or a restaurant), and no one knows where the ball is.
** 500 has become a game where someone shoots a "football" that is 2 feet wide and weighs 120 pounds or more out of a cannon capable of reaching anywhere in the United States. The point system and the first person to get five hundred points becoming the new operator is still the same, however.
* TheCameo: The [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hubble_Space_Telescope Hubble Space Telescope]] briefly speaks in chapter 13.
* CausticCritic: InUniverse, the podcast ''Garbage Football'' serves to mock the worst of the sport's 15,000 year-long history.
* CollectorOfTheStrange: Chapter 4 eventually segues into a discussion about a group of people who decided to to hold a competition to try and find every ball [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Koy_Detmer Koy Detmer]] had ever autographed.
* ColorCodedForYourConvenience: Different characters have different-coloured speech; 9 is red, 10 is green and Juice is yellow. Minor characters get their own colours too.
* CompleteImmortality: On April 7th, 2026, ''all of humanity'' achieved this somehow. They stopped dying and aging... at the cost of [[ImmortalInfertility Complete Infertility]], so no human babies have been born since about nine months in.
* ContemplateOurNavels: Nine and Ten are prone to this. Chapter 7 and the intermission are dedicated to their discussion about why humans continue to dedicate their lives to football in stead of more important things.
* DidNotThinkThisThrough: One possible explanation for why one game of football is currently stuck down a ravine.
* DrivenToSuicide: Ten jokingly threatens to crash into an asteroid as the Game 27 conversation continues. Fittingly, this is mere moments before she starts getting legitimately mad about it.
* DontTryThisAtHome: Ed Krieger is hiding in [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eleven_Jones_Cave Eleven Jones Cave]], which has dangerous concentrations of carbon dioxide. Ed blatantly breaks the fourth wall to warn you that you ''will'' die should you try to visit the cave yourself--emphasizing that CompleteImmortality is the only thing keeping Ed alive.
* DudeNotFunny: InUniverse, Juice's increasingly harsh jokes at Nine at the beginning of chapter 9 earns him the disapproval of Ten and eventually causes Nine to snap at him.
* EndingFatigue: InUniverse - with humanity becoming completely immortal, football begins to become increasingly elongated. Combined with the field being expanded to encompass entire states, and it's become common for a single game to take many years to play. It's only when it starts getting ridiculously slow that people start complaining, however, as evidenced in chapter 6:
-->'''Thuy''': If you turned off the game and turned it back on in a year, the line of scrimmage might be, like, 50 miles away from where it was.
* EstablishingCharacterMoment: The very first thing Juice does in the story is to mock Nine's camera.
--->'''Juice''': HAAAAAAAAAAAA\\
YOUR CAMERA\\
IS\\
TRAAAAASH
* FailedASpotCheck: While recounting her story of finding a new apartment in Chapter 4, Lori drops the bombshell that, while doing dishes one day, she suddenly realized ''she lived in that apartment before''.
-->'''Lori''': You know, actually, I went back and looked it up. I'd lived there for two years back in 7174. And I realized I'd arranged the furniture pretty much the same way and everything. Oh God, it was so weird.
* ForegoneConclusion: Chapter 18 concerns Lacrecia Evans being able to ''finally'' get the 500 ball. If you saw the ending of Chapter 17, you already know the end result of this latest launch.
-->IT'S BROKEN! IT'S BROKEN! IT'S GONE!\\
It went right through the roof. Right just, went right through it.\\
Oh my God. Oh my fucking God.
* ForeverWar: Some football matches, such as Game 96249 and Game 27, have already lasted for millennia and continue with no end in sight. And both sides just keep playing because they literally don't have anything better to do.
* FreezeFrameBonus:
** Since the reader only has less than a minute to read the starting article before the lettering suddenly blows up, a lot of the finer details turn into these.[[note]]You can read the article indefinitely [[http://archive.is/UasKN here.]][[/note]] For example, there's a fictitious "[[DepartmentOfRedundancyDepartment University of College]]" advertisement with this quote:
-->''"[[MadnessMantra Something has gone terribly wrong.]]"''
-->-- '''Jon Bois'''
** The first video opens on a rapidly scrolling list of all the presidents of the United States. The list continues past the present day - pausing at the right times reveals various future Presidents (all real world politicians, among them Bernie Sanders in 2049), and also that Donald Trump served two terms.
** Freeze-framing the gif in Chapter 4 reveals [[http://68.media.tumblr.com/5aec49e93797e02dca34ec3299501e2a/tumblr_osun4khsmZ1qf5nwno1_500.jpg major geographical changes to the US]], later confirmed to be from rising seawater due to the polar ice caps melting: the northeast has been reshaped (alluded to in the dialogue and final chapter image of New York), Lousiana and Florida have disappeared, and the San Francisco bay, now known as Lake Sacramento, runs the length of California, having spilled into the Central Valley.
* FromBadToWorse: Played for laughs: it was bad enough for Ten that Juice wants to talk about Game 27. Then:
-->'''Nine''': I think I'm fascinated by this game.
-->'''Juice''': YES
-->'''Ten''': NO
* TheFuture: Set in the ''very'' far future.
* TheHermit: Eddie Krieger. He lives inside a cave in Louisville so that he could win a losing game by waiting 10,000 years in his team's end zone.
* ImmortalityBeginsAtTwenty: As explained by Juice:
-->'''Juice:''' 10's wording was a little clumsy with regard to "people stopped aging": to clarify, babies in the womb in 2026 were indeed born and grew into adults, and all the children grew into adulthood as well.
* InfoDump:
** Chapters 3 and 5 consist of Ten informing Nine about things - for the former, how humanity had developed; for the latter, about the proliferation of nanomachines.
** Played for laughs in the final chapter. When the others realize that Nine needs to go offline to recharge, Juice rushes through as many of Nine's unanswered questions as he can in the remaining minute.
* InstantAIJustAddWater: Space probes just became sentient and developed humanlike minds and emotions from millennia of picking up radio waves in space.
* JumpScare: Anyone's first interaction with the story is going to be the article's lettering suddenly expanding without warning.
* LateArrivalSpoiler: Most fan art/discussions/etc. openly mention that 9, 10 and Juice are space probes. Downplayed, in that this is a spoiler [[FirstEpisodeSpoiler only for the first chapter]].
* LeaningOnTheFourthWall:
** Ten mentions how people are "tuning out" near the end of chapter 10, and goes on to explain to Nine that people on Earth are in fact listening to them talk (or were, until Juice began talking about capitalism running wild).
** Juice is practically ''livid'' when Nine reveals Ten mentioning the population of Earth being around 8 ''million'' people, not 8 ''billion''. He even plans to give her shit later for "[killing] almost 8 billion people with a typo".
* LiteralMetaphor: Lampshaded in chapter 6:
-->'''Thuy''': And then... [Washington's football team] just fell off a cliff.\\
'''Roger''': That's really fun to say. Because you know, we're always figuratively saying, "oh, they fell off a cliff." Like, their offense stalled out or something. [[NotHyperbole No,]] [[ItMakesSenseInContext they fell off a cliff for real.]]
* MadnessMantra: In the initial article, "Something has gone terribly wrong."
* MiniSeries: Posted and updated daily, from July 5th to the 15th.
* ModernStasis: Sure, they have all the advanced technology. They can make self-building buildings, they can fly from Arkansas to Paris in minutes, it's just that nobody wanted those things. People didn't want everything to be as efficient as possible. They instead preferred having to wait in a line at the grocery store or to sit on a bus that smells like cigarettes. Besides, what would be the point of speeding up every task when you literally have all the time in the world?
* MonumentalDamage: The Statue of Liberty is halfway underwater.
** The [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Centennial_Light the Bulb]] ends up getting accidentally destroyed by a 500 ball.
* MoodWhiplash: The third part of the intermission builds up to one of the deepest moments in the entire story... with a brief interlude where Nine remarks on the [[PaintingTheMedium abstract way it's presented]]:
-->'''Nine''': Uh, the readability of this is kinda\\
'''Ten''': Shut the fuck up.\\
'''Nine''': Okay.
** Chapter 17 has the usual smooth jazz playing in a video as the satellites talk about where the ball might land. Then it goes into discordant droning and beeping sounds as the ball is fired and hits and destroys [[http://www.centennialbulb.org/ the Bulb]].
* {{Nanomachines}}: Chapter 5 reveals that they were first deployed in the 2800s, essentially being perfected by the 3500s. They serve to save people from accidents and environmental hazards.
* OOCIsSeriousBusiness:
** Nine telling Juice to go fuck himself is treated like a big moment. Ten acknowledges that this is Nine's first time dealing with anger and Juice is awed by it.
** Just one chapter later, Juice suddenly using proper punctuation when talking about Game 27 get acknowledged by Ten.
** In Chapter 15, Nine is so affected by Ten's lengthy discussion about humanity's new purpose in life that they start omitting ending punctuation and seem depressed overall. (Juice eventually manages to help them feel better.)
** In Chapter 17, Juice and Ten become ''horrified'' as they discover that the 500 ball is heading for Livermore, California. More specifically, [[http://www.centennialbulb.org/ the Bulb]].
* PaintingTheMedium: The third part of the intermission has a lot of this. As Nine and Ten move right, their text spaces eventually follow suit; Ten interrupts Nine's ramblings with a literal BigWhy; and when they start to drift upwards, the conversation has to be read from the bottom up (which Nine quickly lampshades).
* POVSequel: Chapter 18 is both this and an ImmediateSequel to Chapter 17, since it concerns Lacrecia Evans's perspective of the ill-fated 500 ball launch that smashed [[http://www.centennialbulb.org/ the Bulb]].
* RakeTake: Juice ([[NotSoAboveItAll and Ten]]) think these are hilarious.
-->'''Juice''': do u have any idea how goddam funny it is when someone steps on a garden hoe\\
'''Juice''': back in the day i tracked every garden hoe lying on the ground in the whole world [...] and i'd just sit up here & watch em & watch em & watch em. swear to god for like 200 yrs that's all i did\\
'''Ten''': He's not lying. He did. I mean, I did too. It was pretty funny.\\
'''Juice''': and [[LudicrousPrecision 0.2248257%]] of the time they'd step on the teeth and itd push up and hit em in the face like BLAAAPP. rarest of jewels.
* SelfDeprecation: Chapter 16 gets temporarily derailed when Juice learns that Ten told Nine that the population of Earth since 2026 was around 8 ''million''.
-->'''Juice''': god\\
10 thinks shes so smart [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall and then she up and kills almost 8 billion people with a typo]]\\
i am gonna give her so much shit
** The error gets alluded to again in Chapter 24, where a character gives the population of Chicago as 3 "billion", then immediately corrects herself to a more correct 3 million.
* SerialEscalation: American football underwent this once humanity became immortal. By the time the story begins, the playing field has expanded to include ''entire states'' within their boundaries, and it's common for games to subsequently take decades to finish. There's also the matter of tornadoes...
* SeriousBusiness:
** One of the story's underlying themes is how humanity will always revere games (in this case, American football) throughout all of time.
** The Koy Detmer ball collectors in chapter 4 take their game ''very'' seriously. Jason remarks on how another group had hacked into his computer to destroy his notes in where to find the balls.
* ShowWithinAShow: The podcast ''Garbage Football'', which is the sole focus of chapter 6.
* SkewedPriorities: A recurring source of humor throughout the story.
** Upon being informed of being a space probe, Nine proceeds to ask two questions: [[WhatYearIsThis the current year]]... and if Music/SteelyDan is still together.
** Juice is prone to this - he's not overly happy that humanity got rid of all its ills because it also got rid of Lunchables, and holds the {{nanomachines}} protecting humanity from dangers in some contempt because it prevents them from [[RakeTake stepping on garden hoes]]. (Ten admits to agreeing with him on the latter.)
* SoBadItsGood: In-universe. Chapter 10 revolves around Juice telling Nine about Game 27, a game between the Denver Broncos and the Pittsburgh Steelers during the 2080s/2090s that morphed into "a rainbow of failed ideas". Juice views it as this - Ten outright hates it. This divide only deepens when Juice reveals that ''people still turn up to watch it''.
* SpiritualSuccessor: ''17776'' was originally conceived as a sequel to Bois's earlier ''[[https://www.sbnation.com/2014/8/18/5998715/the-tim-tebow-cfl-chronicles The Tim Tebow CFL Chronicles]]'', and both works revolve around an absurdist take on football and share similar existentialist themes.
* TeamMom: 10 seems to be the most caring, waking up 9 and telling off Juice for harassing them, although 10 refers to herself as 9's 'little sister'.
* TomatoInTheMirror: TheReveal at the end of the first chapter - Nine is actually [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pioneer_6,_7,_8,_and_9#Pioneer_9 Pioneer 9]].
* UnfortunateNames: The hosts of ''Garbage Football'' pause their discussion of Game 96249 to mock the rural towns adjacent to the game, for having unimaginative names like Circleville, Meadows, and New Meadows.
* {{Utopia}}: The world depicted in the story is a strange case. Technically, it is a utopia - humanity has achieved all its goals, gotten past war and disease, and even become immortal... but now there's the emptiness of a lack of purpose to keep going.
-->'''Ten''': And now boredom is their only enemy. And they get up in the morning and fight it every day of their eternal lives. Recreation and play sustain them. Football sustains them.
* VictoryIsBoring: Humanity has rid themselves of all problems, including death. Now they spend all day playing or watching football.
* WhamEpisode: The end of Chapter 17 and the entirety of Chapter 18 combined concerns the latest 500 ball being launched... and crashing in Livermore, Calfornia. And smashing ''[[http://www.centennialbulb.org/ the Bulb]]''.
* WhamLine:
** From the end of the first chapter:
-->'''Ten''': Listen to me. You are not on a space probe.\\
'''Nine''': What?\\
'''Ten''': Nine, [[TomatoInTheMirror you are a space probe.]]
** Minor, but near the end of Chapter 10, Ten drops ''this'' bombshell:
--->'''Ten''': Aaaand ... people are tuning out. We're down to 106 listeners.
--->'''Nine''': People are listening to us? Like, people on Earth?
--->'''Ten''': Well, they were! Only 98 now. [[SarcasmMode Thanks for that, Juice. Thank you.]]
** At the very end of Chapter 16, where Juice and Nine discuss sections of the ground that no one has ever walked on, or even thought to walk on, despite having thousands of years of opportunities to do so, ends by bringing up something ''everyone'' reading this has thought about, but had yet to be discussed in-story.
--->'''Juice''': you know who would've wandered out there? just to do it?
--->[[{{Beat}} (long pause)]]
--->'''Nine''': Children.
--->'''Juice''': children.
** During Chapter 17, Juice and Ten are tracking the path of the 500 ball... and immediately become horrified as to where it's going:
--->'''Ten''': Wait, no. It's heading for San Fran, see?
--->'''Juice''': livermore
--->'''Ten''': Or yeah, Livermore. Just a little bit east
--->'''Juice''': [[OhCrap oh no]]
--->'''Ten''': It's\\
Looks like it's gonna drop near the
--->(pause)
--->'''Juice''': [[OOCIsSeriousBusiness oh my god no]]
--->'''Ten''': Is it gonna drop near the
--->'''Juice''': it's headed for [[http://www.centennialbulb.org/ the Bulb]].
--->'''Ten''': [[TemptingFate No, come on, it's not gonna hit the Bulb]]
--->'''Juice''': it's headed straight for it
* WhamShot:
** In a meta sense, the initial article's lettering suddenly expanding into black, leading into the actual beginning of the story.
** During the first video, the shot of the Statue of Liberty... only for the camera to pull back, showing it ''partially submerged in water'' (firmly establishing the setting).
* WhatYearIsThis: Nine asks this immediately after learning that they're a space probe.
* WhoWantsToLiveForever: Ten says the following after Nine comments on how all the players in Arizona seem crazy for playing a stalemated game for over ten thousand years:
-->'''Ten''': I think they're just doing the best they can with immortality. A human being will rarely admit this to you, but they tend to be terrified of living forever. They were born and raised with the understanding that their lives would end. They've achieved everything they wanted to achieve, all the ills that plagued them.\\
'''Ten''': And now boredom is their only enemy. And they get up in the morning and fight it every day of their eternal lives. Recreation and play sustain them. Football sustains them. And if you find yourself in a football game that's such a gargantuan task, that seems undefeatable, that will claim eons of your time and your passion?\\
'''Ten''': I think that makes you one of the lucky ones.
** Arguably inverted by Jason in Chapter 24, who expresses horror at the idea of mortality.
-->'''Jason:'''No other creature in the universe woke up every morning knowing it was guaranteed to die one day. Just us. Nobody should have to live with that. It's too much, it isn't right. No one ever should have had to bear it.
* WritersCannotDoMath: In the second chapter, Ten claims that there are 8 million people on Earth by the time immortality came about in 2026 - a stark fall from the 7 ''billion'' alive in 2017. This gets addressed (with some [[LeaningOnTheFourthWall indirect]] SelfDeprecation) in chapter 16, where Juice reveals that the actual number is a more logical 8 billion.
-->'''Juice''': 10 thinks shes so smart and then she up and kills almost 8 billion people with a typo\\
'''Juice''': i am gonna give her so much shit
** Averted ''hard'' in the first chapter. Ten reveals that she's three and a half trillion miles away from Nine; assuming Pioneer 9 is still in orbit of the Sun in 17776 and Pioneer 10's current speed of 7.479 miles/s, the math actually works out. The distance is also correct for their initial 434-year round-trip speed-of-light radio communications. Bois clearly did his homework.
* YankTheDogsChain:
** By pure luck, Lacrecia Evans winds up being in the right area to ''finally'' get the 500 ball, with a 99.9% probability of getting it. It's just a shame that the ball in question is the one that smashed [[http://www.centennialbulb.org/ the Bulb]].
** In the Koy Detmer ball collecting game, Jason Durabo was in the lead until he got stabbed in the back and had his 26 balls destroyed. He gets a lead on another ball in the ruins of New York City, which would get him back in the game. But he finds the ball in question was signed by ''Ty'' Detmer, and worthless for his purposes. On the other hand, [[ThrowTheDogABone the trip to New York gives Jason a great idea for a new football game.]]
----
