History WarpThatAesop / TableTopGames

** [{ColorCodedForYourConvenience A reptile's moral character can be judged by how shiny its scales are]].

* ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}'':
** If someone is different than you, you should PURGE THEM WITH THE HOLY PROMETHIUM IN THE NAME OF THE GOD EMPEROR!
** If you work hard enough, fought for your life, and make many sacrifices to ensure the survival of your planet, you will be considered a heretic/traitor/a danger...etc by the inquisition or the higher ups. Your reward, you get executed for all your contributions for the Imperium. Congratulations.
* ''TabletopGame/SeventhSea'': Most pirates were noble, free-thinking heroes, some women need to be locked up for the greater safety, and the Spanish Inquisition was protecting us from evil, extra-dimensional monsters.
* ''TabletopGame/{{FATAL}}'':
** Women are dumber than men and as such exist solely to provide victims for the nonstop rape (which, incidentally, will have no negative consequences for the perpetrator and only a few minor problems for the victim), and the entire basis of every civilisation ever has been the trade in sex slaves, even in societies where slavery, by and large, didn't actually exist.
** '''BZZZ''' I'm sorry, contestant, this is Warp That Aesop. There is absolutely no indication that ''FATAL'' does not embrace this Aesop with all its heart.
** [[BlackComedyRape Rape is funny]]... no, that's intended. Stay away from magic, because you might attract [[MemeticMutation RANDY GAY OGRES]]! Nobody who takes up the professions that keep society running leads a life worth living and would be better off dead. Existence is pointless and the universe is utterly amoral, so the best thing to do is to loot and plunder. Everything is determined by random luck, any effort at improving your life could well make it worse, and [[YouCantFightFate trying to go against destiny is punishable by RL PK by desert eagle.]]
** The best thing that can happen in life is for someone to accidentally kill everyone in the world, including you. This goes double if you're female.
** It's possible for things to have negative circumference.
* ''TabletopGame/{{Paranoia}}'':
** You have not been cleared for this information, citizen. Please report for termination. [[DissonantSerenity Have a pleasant daycycle. The Computer is your friend.]]
** Your entire life consists of following crazy ideologues long enough to be killed for no apparent reason.
* ''Sorry'': It's okay to be a total bastard if the rules make you do it. And when you're being a total bastard, [[EasilyForgiven you're guaranteed to be forgiven if you apologize]], [[BlatantLies no matter how utterly insincere that apology is]]

* TabletopGame/CallOfCthulhu: Don't talk to ''anyone'', don't read ''anything'' don't even think about exploring further down that street, or you will start screaming and never stop!
** It's okay to see nonwhite people as abominations, odds are that you're right anyways!
** Truth causes insanity.
** Learning will only result in death.
* TabletopGame/{{Traveller}} : It is the destiny of the human race to conquer large portions of the galaxy. Three times. In achieving this humanity will gain tremendous wealth, exploit thousands of planets and submit itself to an intersteller oligarchy. Such goals are laudable and enhance the glory of TheEmperor.
* TabletopGame/{{Stratego}}: You're only allowed to kill people if you outrank them.
* TabletopGame/{{Battleship}}: The world's navies are essentially flailing around, shooting blind, and too dumb to get out of the way.
* ''TabletopGame/{{BattleTech}}'': You remember that old saying about how those who do not learn from history are doomed to repeat it? Well, good news -- turns out that people ''never'' learn from history and we won't ever have to face the embarrassment of widespread peace!
* ''TabletopGame/{{Shadowrun}}'': Criminals are the most moral people in the world and are the only ones who can be counted on to save the world and change history. Everyone else is just a slave to the MegaCorps.

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*** And that improvement in social status generally means a sex change.

* ''TabletopGame/{{YuGiOh}}'': PowerCreep is THE BEST THING EVER!

** ''Book Of Exalted Deeds'':Evil is the only way to go because the philosophy of Good is not even internally consistent. Torture is okay as long as you do it with magic and the only reason you do it is to brainwash people. Stabbing people is okay as long as they happen to be evil, and so is forgiving them, but poisoning them with something more merciful than a dagger blade is AN ACT OF ABSOLUTELY UNFORGIVABLE EVIL! That is only true, though, unless you are using a magical poison that only affects the evil!

* You need to change the setting of the game for different markets despite most people not knowing the original’s landmarks anyway.

** Every time you stand in a certain part of London you get £200 for free.

** The entirety of London is a giant one way system.

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*** Taxes are only opposed on you if you stand in a specific part of London.

** Every time you stand in a certain part of London you get £200 free.

** You must only buy property and then charge other people to use it. At no point should you even consider buying a house to live in, you are doomed to wander aimlessly about staying at ridiculously overpriced hotels.

** Making a DealWithTheDevil is not only the fastest path to [[AGodAmI ultimate power]], but is also entirely without consequences since that devil is so determined to corrupt you that he'll neglect to stop your rapid ascent past him in power.

* ''TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}}'': If you work hard enough, even if you must make sacrifices, you can prevail
** That's ''way'' too good an aesop to come from a world where people regularly blow up their own planets up just to be sure.
*** Exactly. For [[TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}} W40K]], that's a warped Aesop.

'''''[[IncomingHam WELCOME]]''''', '''[[LadiesAndGerms ladies, gentlemen, and tropers]], to DarthWiki's Favorite GameShow'''...

*** Skin colour is an uniform you cannot shed.
*** If you are a nobleman, you can legally trespass any obstacles which would hinder your advance
*** Never underestimate a religious fanatic at your flank

* ''TabletopGame/Shadowrun'': Criminals are the most moral people in the world and are the only ones who can be counted on to save the world and change history. Everyone else is just a slave to the MegaCorps.