History WMG / HomestuckJokes

It will end with John figuring out how to love himself. [[GainaxEnding All of his friends and family will be there, clapping and congratulating him, including Jaspersprite.]] Millions of fans will be incredibly angry until the feature film, [[EndOfEvangelion End of Homestuck]] is released. Though it shows what happens outside of John's mind during the [[GainaxEnding final moments of the original webcomic, it has just as strange an ending, with everybody turning into orange faygo]].

[[WMG:In ''Homestuck'', The Sprite is just [[YumeNikki Uboa]] wearing a jester hat.]]

[[WMG: John will lose the ring in another MSPA story.]]
* He has an inviolably secure inventory system that he has had from literally the first few pages of the comic, yet he's not using it despite it being the better option here. As Tumblr people mentioned, just chucking the plot-critical artifact into the mundane god tier pocket and expecting it not to fall out is completely stupid. As Jade thought, the best way to keep track of a ring is to wear it, and John could probably use the additional immortality if one of Terezi's key thoughts involves a dangerous situation, so really John's just being dumb at this point about ring security. That ring escaped last time!
* How is John supposed to lose this in another game entirely while he's mostly mastered jumps and is following Terezi's thoughts? Simple enough: Get hit by another effect that causes him to graze the narrative under certain conditions (such as the punch-through-time effect knocking someone into a horse calendar as opposed to a regular location), which will land him somewhere outside the narrative but not near LOWAS (say, the MSPA links banner) at a very inappropriate time (such as when Caliborn is attacking the MSPA command station with the juju breaker crowbar), use a random jump or weird narrative abstraction thingies to wind up anywhere but that (say, on the bust-smuggling ship during Problem Sleuth), lose the ring there and cause it to end up somewhere annoyingly hard for John to get to conveniently without risking disrupting the flow of nebulous events (to continue with the ship, at the bottom of the imaginary ocean behind several obstructive busts), and never retrieve it without a waste of meta-time and resources better allocated elsewhere. This provides a plot-relevant point of getting rid of any potential applications of the ring to retrieve Calliope without a lot of work, and solves the problem.

Instead of doing something simple like Dirk's both-dreamself-and-realself-active thing and physically entering the dreambubbles in order to be in two places at once during Openbound, Hussie is actually a hivemind species, not an individual. There are multiple Hussies spread throughout the universes, as a counterpart to Lord English. Because Calliope's soul isn't destroyed yet, Paradox Space requires a balance to the rampant cherub until he can do that.

Instead of doing something simple like Dirk's both-dreamself-and-realself-active thing and physically entering the dreambubbles in order to be in two places at once during Openbound, Hussie is actually a hivemind species, not an individual. There are multiple Hussies spread throughout the universes, as a counterpart to Lord English. Because Calliope's soul isn't destroyed yet so Paradox Space requires a balance to the rampant cherub until he can do that.

Yaldabaoth knew in advance that it would be an abnormal session because of the whole Skaia stuff. Since he had a long time to prepare for Caliborn's coming, he got the Strider sword (the only thing other than Echidna's quills confirmed to be able to do anything to the Scratch construct) before it made its way to Dirk on Post-Scratch Earth, the same place, cut Caliborn's scratch construct with it, and since Earth was not in the Medium yet it just went off into space uselessly. This is why there is no large time-associated object that would probably have been noticeable if it was still around by Caliborn's entry.

[[WMG: The dream moons and their moons have rocket jets.]]
This is why people consistently reference ''piloting'' Derse's moon into the Furthest Ring instead of "letting it float on momentum out there and hoping it doesn't crash into squiddles" despite no shown intent of using time powers to minimize Furthest Ring timespace weirdness. They activate automatically on a bunch of spiky buildings in case of the moon being knocked out of orbit to avoid crashing into anything on accident. B1 Prospit's moon jets were damaged by the Red Miles and thus couldn't use them to avoid crashing into the Battlefield, while B1 Prospit itself was able to avoid crashing but B1 Derse's moon just got unchained. B2 moons got blasted by primarily non-game associated means and were more destroyed than removed from orbit, and then Derse got first guardian teleported which didn't kick off the jets. A2 moons got exploded by First Guardian powers so no use there and we don't know what happened in A1.

This is why both Yaldabaoth and Typheus had the giant-glowing-face thing going on when talking to Caliborn and John respectively, Echidna's puffing cold air during Bargaining with the Beast's track art, and the Typheus line illustration has him looking all monster-y. It's because it's a very serious occasion but they can't help but make silly faces while singing fire and ice and whalesong and glitches and whatnot in the player-specific language that Yaldabaoth and Typheus hid their faces behind a really strong glow.

"The shades OBVIOUSLY shattered when Maplehoof's corpse released the Vast Neigh, put on the Cairo Overcoat, and became none other than Lord English himself." according to the formspring. Since Maplehoof looks nothing like Caliborn/Calliope clearly there was a really big intermediary step.