History UsefulNotes / Basketball

* ''Washington Wizards'': Formerly known by many names like the Chicago Packers, the Chicago Zephyrs, the Baltimore Bullets ([[DisContinuity who should not be confused with the Baltimore Bullets team who won the BAA/NBA Finals Championahip in the 1947-48 season]]), the Capital Bullets (who actually played in the small D.C. suburb of Landover, Maryland for one year), and the Washington Bullets. Their name was changed from "Bullets" to "Wizards" because of the UnfortunateImplications of glorifying bullets in a city with an astronomical crime rate. The team of Gilbert "Agent Zero" Arenas, who decided which team to sign with by flipping a coin, sponsors professional video game teams, and is constantly in trouble with the league administration. However, it's future is considered to be involving John Wall instead. Also, Michael Jordan allegedly used to play for them briefly.

* ''Denver Nuggets'': One of the better teams playing today. The current team of Carmelo Anthony, who was the ''real'' runner-up to [=LeBron=] James the year he was drafted. Allen Iverson played here too, but was traded to Detroit for Chauncey Billups in the 08-09 season. While they've been pretty consistenly good for a while, they're yet another team with that "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" vibe about them. Also, like the Indiana Pacers, the New Jersey Nets, and the San Antonio Spurs, they're one of the four surviving ABA teams (with the original name for this team for most of the ABA being the Denver Rockets). Their name's basically [[TheArtifact a homage/an artifact]] of the ''original'' Denver Nuggets team that was in the NBA for only one season. During the 80s, they were a famously high-scoring team whose coach, Doug Moe, literally did not believe in defense, once pulling the team to the sidelines late in the game while the other team scored at will as a protest. That style of play ended up getting the highest-scoring game in NBA history with the Nuggets winning over the Pistons '''186-184'''.

* ''Philadelphia 76ers'': Formerly known as the Syracuse Nationals. In the 1972-73 season, they had a 9-win season. Yes, 9 wins out of 82. On a more positive note, they were the team of prolific [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean scorer]] Wilt Chamberlain, dunking genious Julius "Doctor J" Erving, and later Allen Iverson, who led the team to the Finals in 2001. Also Charles Barkley's team in the 80s and early 90s, though both parties today don't care for each other very much.

* ''Washington Wizards'': Formerly known by many names like the Chicago Packers, the Chicago Zephyrs, the Baltimore Bullets ([[DisContinuity who should not be confused with the Baltimore Bullets team who won the NBL/NBA Finals Championahip in the 1947-48 season]]), the Capital Bullets (who actually played in the small D.C. suburb of Landover, Maryland for one year), and the Washington Bullets. Their name was changed from "Bullets" to "Wizards" because of the UnfortunateImplications of glorifying bullets in a city with an astronomical crime rate. The team of Gilbert "Agent Zero" Arenas, who decided which team to sign with by flipping a coin, sponsors professional video game teams, and is constantly in trouble with the league administration. However, it's future is considered to be involving John Wall instead. Also, Michael Jordan allegedly used to play for them briefly.

In the NBA, there have been many different champions and there have been many different rules in the NBA over the years. However, over half of the championships were won by either the Boston Celtics or the Minneapolis/Los Angeles Lakers. Here's what had happened over the years in the NBA.

* ''Detroit Pistons'': Originally known as the Fort Wayne (Zollner) Pistons, they moved to Detroit early in their history when it became clear that they would need money to survive. Throughout most of the 2000s, they were fairly dominant, even winning it all in 2004. Since then, they've been known as the team that couldn't win it all - from 2006-2008, they went to the conference championship three straight years but lost to the opposing team. Also very good in the late '80s, when the "Bad Boys" of Isiah Thomas, Joe Dumars, Bill Laimbeer, Dennis Rodman, and Rick Mahorn won back-to-back championships in 1989 and 1990. Traditionally, they are known for strong defense and good-enough offense.

* ''Los Angeles Lakers'': The West's answer to the Boston Celtics. They've got 16 championships to their name and they're the first team to win 3,000 regular-season games. This is the NBA's either-love-them-or-hate-them team. Their historical rosters read like a criterion collection of [=NBA=] history. Jerry West, Kareem-Abdul Jabbar, Magic Johnson, Shaquille O'Neal, and Kobe Bryant have all at some point called this place home - all five have between them 8 [=MVP=] awards. Jerry West's image forms the iconic NBA logo. Also the team of George Mikan, who we blame for the fact that you need a pituitary disorder to play basketball today. The name is [[TheArtifact an artifact]] from their early days in Minneapolis. Minnesota has lots of lakes; Los Angeles, on the edge of a desert, does not. This began the tradition of NBA teams keeping their name on changing cities, no matter how incongruous. Speaking of which...

* ''Sacramento Kings'': They last won a championship in 1951. Bounced around from Rochester (as the Royals) to Cincinnati (also as the Royals) to Kansas City-Omaha to ''just'' Kansas City before settling in Sacramento in 1985. Sacramento's only major league sports team, their fanbase has been among the strongest in the league even during the franchise's lean years, which could just be a testament to how little there is to do in Sacramento.

'''The NBL & BAA Years''' (Note: '''bolded''' years represent the NBL; ''italic'' years represent the BAA. BAA teams that eventually moved to the NBL/NBA are also '''bolded''', while NBL teams that ended up getting disbanded afterwards would also be in ''italic''. Teams that both were in the BAA that later on went to the NBL/NBA, but folded afterwards during the NBA's lifetime will be both '''''bolded and italicized.''''' Confused here?)

'''The NBL & BAA Years''' (Note: '''bolded''' years represent the NBL; ''italic'' years represent the BAA.)

* '''1940-41''': The Oshkosh All-Stars swept the Sheboygan Red Skins 3-0.
* '''1941-42''': The Oshkosh All-Stars won over the Fort Wayne Zollner Pistons 2-1.
* '''1942-43''': Sheboygan Red Skins won over the Fort Wayne Zollner Pistons 2-1.
* '''1943-44''': Fort Wayne Zollner Pistons swept the Sheboygan Red Skins 3-0.
* '''1944-45''': Fort Wayne Zollner Pistons won over the Sheboygan Red Skins 3-2.
* '''1945-46''': Rochester Royals swept the Sheboygan Red Skins 3-0.
* '''1946-47''': Chicago American Gears won over the Rochester Royals 3-2.
* ''1946-47'': Philadelphia Warriors won over the Chicago Stags 4-1.
* '''1947-48''': Minneapolis Lakers won over the Rochester Royals 3-1.
* ''1947-48'': Baltimore Bullets won over the Philadelphia Warriors 4-2.
* '''1948-49''': Anderson Pakers swept the Oshkosh All-Stars 3-0.
* ''1948-49'': Minneapolis Lakers won over the Washington Capitals 4-2.

* '''1972-73''': ''Indiana Pacers'' won over the Kentucky Coloners 4-3.

* ''Dave Bing'': Former {{Detroit}} Piston, admittedly not as notable a career as the others listed here, although he is in the Hall of Fame. He is noteworthy because 1) after retirement, he became a successful businessman in Detroit -- a town not known for much business success at the time -- and 2) he is now mayor of Detroit, perhaps ''the'' most thankless task in America. For all the millionaire jock doofuses who spout platitudes about "giving back to the community", here's a guy who actually rolled up his sleeves and did it. May his mayoral career be as successful as his business career.

* ''Kobe Bryant'': Very skilled guard playing for the Lakers. He has five rings, all with the Lakers. When he and Shaq were on the same team, they won 3 consecutive championships. But Kobe and Shaq on a personal level...well, things didn't work out too well. Owned a lot of the league's "youngest-to" records until [=LeBron=] James came into town.
* ''[=LeBron=] James'': One of the most heavily-sought players in the year he was drafted. OK, so a lot of guys can make that claim. What sets [=LeBron=] apart is that he was still in ''high school'' when he was getting this press. He had appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated and had a pending shoe deal while still a student (you may recall your high school experience and begin weeping now). Went first overall to Cleveland in 2003 and almost immediately turned the team from a has-been into a serious contender. As for his clout as a player, he won Rookie of the Year his first year, has 2 repeating [=MVP=] trophies, and he's been to six All-Star games. In the highest-profile free agent signing of the 2010 offseason, he joined the Miami Heat along with Dwayne Wade (who re-signed with the team he won the 2006 championship with) and the Raptors' Chris Bosh. Was [[FaceHeelTurn heavily criticized]] for this decision by pretty much everyone who's not a Heat fan. In fact, some people believe that he won't ''ever'' be in the same statue as Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan because of him going to Dwayne Wade's team.

'''The Shot-Clock Years/Boston Domination'''

* ''New Orleans Hornets'': Formerly the Charlotte Hornets. They've been fairly consistent in their 20 years - occasionally very bad, occasionally very good, but mostly in the middle of the pack. Point Guard Chris Paul led the team to their first divisional title in 2008, but they've slipped back into mediocrity since then. Due to a minor weather incident in New Orleans in 2005, the Hornets played home games in Oklahoma City for a while, where they became the New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets. The Seattle (Super)Sonics took note of the team's strong reception there, leading to...

* ''Washington Wizards'': Formerly known by many names like the Chicago Packers, the Chicago Zephyrs, the Baltimore Bullets (who should not be confused with the Baltimore Bullets team who won the NBL/NBA Finals Championahip in the 1947-48 season), the Capital Bullets (who actually played in the small D.C. suburb of Landover, Maryland for one year), and the Washington Bullets. Their name was changed from "Bullets" because of the UnfortunateImplications of glorifying bullets in a city with an astronomical crime rate. The team of Gilbert "Agent Zero" Arenas, who decided which team to sign with by flipping a coin, sponsors professional video game teams, and is constantly in trouble with the league administration. Also, Michael Jordan allegedly used to play for them briefly.

* ''Denver Nuggets'': One of the better teams playing today. The current team of Carmelo Anthony, who was the ''real'' runner-up to [=LeBron=] James the year he was drafted. Allen Iverson played here too, but was traded to Detroit for Chauncey Billups in the 08-09 season. While they've been pretty consistenly good for a while, they're yet another team with that "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" vibe about them. Also, like the Indiana Pacers, the New Jersey Nets, and the San Antonio Spurs, they're one of the four surviving ABA teams (with the original name for this team for most of the ABA being the Denver Rockets). Their name's basically [[TheArtifact a homage/artifact]] of the ''original'' Denver Nuggets team that was in the NBA for only one season. During the 80s, they were a famously high-scoring team whose coach, Doug Moe, literally did not believe in defense, once pulling the team to the sidelines late in the game while the other team scored at will as a protest. That style of play ended up getting the highest-scoring game in NBA history with the Nuggets winning over the Pistons '''186-184'''.

* ''Phoenix Suns'': One of many teams without a championship. They've been pretty solid in the '00s - they've got Steve Nash and some other solid names to their credit. Historically, they are one of the better franchises in the NBA. Ex-Suns coach Mike D'Antoni instituted a system that's successful called "Seven Seconds Or Less". That style of play was not only fun, but other teams started to copy that system during the late 2000s.

* ''[=LeBron=] James'': One of the most heavily-sought players in the year he was drafted. OK, so a lot of guys can make that claim. What sets [=LeBron=] apart is that he was still in ''high school'' when he was getting this press. He had appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated and had a pending shoe deal while still a student (you may recall your high school experience and begin weeping now). Went first overall to Cleveland in 2003 and almost immediately turned the team from a has-been into a serious contender. As for his clout as a player, he won Rookie of the Year his first year, has 2 [=MVP=] trophies, and he's been to six All-Star games. In the highest-profile free agent signing of the 2010 offseason, he joined the Miami Heat along with Dwayne Wade (who re-signed with the team he won the 2006 championship with) and the Raptors' Chris Bosh. Was [[FaceHeelTurn heavily criticized]] for this decision by pretty much everyone who's not a Heat fan. In fact, some people believe that he won't be in the same statue as Kobe Bryant and Michael Jordan because of him going to Dwayne Wade's team.

* ''Steve Nash'': An extremely skilled veteran guard out of Canada best known for his astounding "no look" passes, his 50-40-90 status (has made 50% of his shooting, 40% from the three-point line, and 90% from the free throw line more than ''Larry Bird'', the former leader) and ability to carry the entirety of the Phoenix Suns through matches, as shown by his 2 MVP awards.

* ''Kevin Durant'': The heir apparant to LeBron and Kobe. Playing of the Oklahoma City Thunder, Durant is the youngest PPG leader in a season in the NBA's history. One of the main reasons that the Thunder took a major leap forward in their development with Russell Westbrook, and the current best player on Team USA.

* Croatia, Serbia, Slovenia: Formerly known altogether as Yugoslavia. Always have a tough national team, are able to beat anybody, even after the collapse of the original country.

* ''Detroit Pistons'': Originally known as the Fort Wayne (Zollner) Pistons, they moved to Detroit early in their history when it became clear that they would need money to survive. Throughout most of the 2000s, they were fairly dominant, even winning it all in 2004. Since then, they've been known as the team that couldn't win it all - from 2006-2008, they went to the conference championship three straight years but lost to the opposing team. Also very good in the late '80s, when the "Bad Boys" of Isiah Thomas, Joe Dumars, Bill Laimbeer, Dennis Rodman, and Rick Mahorn won back-to-back championships in '89 and '90. Traditionally, they are known for strong defense and good-enough offense.
* ''Indiana Pacers'': Best known as the team of Reggie Miller, who joined them in 1987 and played with them for 18 years. Made it to the finals in 2000, but weren't able to beat the Lakers to win it all. Most of their players (apart from Miller) were either traded or retired soon afterward. And then the somewhat mentally unstable Ron Artest came, followed by the infamous Pacers-Pistons-fans brawl that alarmed even people that don't care about basketball. Reggie retired after the Pacers were eliminated from the playoffs, and the team was never been the same. Also one of four ABA teams (the others being the New Jersey Nets, the Denver Nuggets, and the San Antonio Spurs) to move to the NBA. Used to be very regular playoff contenders who could never seal the deal, but currently they're a rung up from pathetic to just being forgotten.

* ''Milwaukee Bucks'': They've been one of the league's weaker teams lately, though they once had a little player by the name of Lew Alcindor (who you may know better as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar). Their first and last championship was in 1971, their second season of existence. Soon after, Alcindor/Abdul-Jabbar left because he considered Milwaukee culturally backwards, [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer which is not something we just made up]]. The team's been mediocre since then, with some good teams in the mid-80s. On another note, when they drafted Glenn Robinson in the 90s, his contract was so ludicrous that the league instigated a salary cap for rookies the very next year.
* ''New Jersey Nets'': Formerly known as the New Jersey Americans and the New York Nets. They were the league's running joke until the Jason Kidd era of the 2000s, when they reached the finals (and lost) two years in a row. In the 2009-10 season, they narrowly avoided becoming the worst team of all time. Also, like the Indiana Pacers, they're one of the four surviving ABA teams. Recently they were bought by an eccentric Russian billionare who eventually plans to move the team to Brooklyn. If the move succeeds as planned, this would undoubtedly put an end to the question, "If the Nets won a championship, where would they hold the parade?" (The Nets' New Jersey home is located in the middle of a mess of suburbs and decayed cities that lacks a natural center.)
* ''New York Knicks'': The former team of Patrick Ewing. Ever since his retirement, the Knickerbockers been in something of a downward spiral. In Game 7 of the 1970 NBA Finals, Willis Reed hobbled out on an injured leg, scored four points, and supposedly inspired his team to win the game and the Championship. On another note, this is the preferred team of famed director Spike Lee. The shame of an otherwise proud sports city. Also, on one last note, they're one of only two franchises to start in the NBA in its beginnings back in the 1946-47 season and stay in their home city.

* ''Toronto Raptors'': Started play in 1995. They haven't made it past the conference championship yet. Market their status as the only Canadian team heavily (they started along with the Vancouver Grizzlies, which has since moved to Memphis), including changing their primary color from purple to red. Their choice of team name (announced when JurassicPark was popular) caused a bit of consternation.
* ''Washington Wizards'': Formerly known by many names like the Chicago Packers, the Chicago Zephyrs, the Baltimore Bullets (who should not be confused with the Baltimore Bullets team who won the NBL/NBA Finals Championahip in the 1947-48 season), the Capital Bullets (who actually played in the small D.C. suburb of Landover, Maryland for one year), and the Washington Bullets. Michael Jordan allegedly used to play for them briefly. Their name was changed from "Bullets" because of the UnfortunateImplications of glorifying bullets in a city with an astronomical crime rate. The team of Gilbert "Agent Zero" Arenas, who decided which team to sign with by flipping a coin, sponsors professional video game teams, and is constantly in trouble with the league administration.

* ''Denver Nuggets'': One of the better teams playing today. The current team of Carmelo Anthony, who was the ''real'' runner-up to [=LeBron=] James the year he was drafted. Allen Iverson played here too, but was traded to Detroit for Chauncey Billups in the 08-09 season. While they've been pretty consistenly good for a while, they're yet another team with that "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" vibe about them. Also, like the Indiana Pacers, the New Jersey Nets, and the San Antonio Spurs, they're one of the four surviving ABA teams. During the 80s, they were a famously high-scoring team whose coach, Doug Moe, literally did not believe in defense, once pulling the team to the sidelines late in the game while the other team scored at will as a protest. That style of play ended up getting the highest-scoring game in NBA history with the Nuggets winning over the Pistons '''186-184'''.

* ''Los Angeles Clippers'': Quite possibly the worst franchise in all American major sports, though actor Billy Crystal is a well-known supporter. Born as the Buffalo Braves and later on, the San Diego Clippers, they're historically known as one of the league's joke teams. They don't have any divisional, conference, or league championships to their names. Oh, and they have the unfortunate distinction of sharing an arena with the...

* ''Memphis Grizzlies'': Started play in 1995. They've done very little of note. And by that, we mean ''very,'' '''very''' little. They've shown improvement in recent years, but remain far from contenders. Grizzly bears are notoriously hard to find around swampy, humid Memphis; the team was originally based in Vancouver, Canada.

* ''Oklahoma City Thunder'': Formerly the Seattle (Super)Sonics. They were pretty bad when they moved to OK - then Kevin Durant started getting really good and they're suddenly in playoff contention. Seattle's glory days were in the late 70's, when they won a championship, and the mid 90's, when they were the favored team of several noted Seattle bands.

* ''Cleveland Cavaliers'': A team of many, many ups and downs, the Cavs were largely sagging until [=LeBron=] James was delivered unto them - since then, they've been absolutely dominant and among the best teams in the league. Which doesn't bode well for them now that he's gone...they're in a weird place between ButtMonkey and [[TheWoobie Woobie]] status. In the 90's, coach Mike Fratello instituted an absolutely glacial slowdown offense which resulted in unusually low scores; while it worked for the team, he's largely blamed for the dropoff in scoring and more "boring" style of play league-wide that took hold later in the decade and the early 2000s. Currently best known for being betrayed by LeBron James on international TV.

* ''New Jersey Nets'': Formerly known as the New Jersey Americans and the New York Nets. They were the league's running joke until the Jason Kidd era of the 2000s, when they reached the finals (and lost) two years in a row. In the 2009-10 season, they narrowly avoided becoming the worst team of all time. Also, like the Indiana Pacers, they're one of the four surviving ABA teams. Recently they were bought by an eccentric Russian billionare who eventually plans to move the team to Brooklyn. This would undoubtedly put an end to the question, "If the Nets won a championship, where would they hold the parade?" (The Nets' New Jersey home is located in the middle of a mess of suburbs and decayed cities that lacks a natural center.)

* ''Orlando Magic'': One of the better teams playing today, they've had names like Shaquille O'Neal, Tracy [=McGrady=], and Dwight Howard in recent years. They came within a few games of winning a Finals in the 2008-09 season, but they lost to the Lakers. They were Shaquille O'Neal's original team, and it was with the Magic that Shaq became known for destroying backboards.

* ''Washington Wizards'': Formerly known by many names like the Chicago Packers, the Chicago Zephyrs, the Baltimore Bullets (who should not be confused with the Baltimore Bullets team who won the NBA Finals Championahip in the 1947-48 season), the Capital Bullets (who actually played in the small D.C. suburb of Landover, Maryland for one year), and the Washington Bullets. Michael Jordan allegedly used to play for them briefly. Their name was changed from "Bullets" because of the UnfortunateImplications of glorifying bullets in a city with an astronomical crime rate. The team of Gilbert "Agent Zero" Arenas, who decided which team to sign with by flipping a coin, sponsors professional video game teams, and is constantly in trouble with the league administration.

* ''Dallas Mavericks'': The Mavs started playing in 1980. Throughout most of the '80s, they were generally pretty good - though they entered a bit of a DorkAge in the 1990s. Early in their history they were about to unseat the then-mighty Lakers in the playoffs until their point guard lost track of the score in a critical game. However, when [[AscendedFanboy dot-com bubble billionaire Mark Cuban]] bought the team, and brought Dirk Nowitzki and Steve Nash got into the area, they started getting good again - good enough to make the playoffs pretty much year in and year out, even making it all the way to the Finals in 2006.
* ''Denver Nuggets'': One of the better teams playing today. The current team of Carmelo Anthony, who was the ''real'' runner-up to [=LeBron=] James the year he was drafted. Allen Iverson played here too, but was traded to Detroit for Chauncey Billups in the 08-09 season. While they've been pretty consistenly good for a while, they're yet another team with that "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" vibe about them. Also, like the Indiana Pacers, the New Jersey Nets, and the San Antonio Spurs, they're one of the four surviving ABA teams. During the 80s, they were a famously high-scoring team whose coach, Doug Moe, literally did not believe in defense, once pulling the team to the sidelines late in the game while the other team scored at will as a protest.

* ''New Orleans Hornets'': Formerly the Charlotte Hornets. They've been fairly consistent in their 20 years - occasionally very bad, occasionally very good, but mostly in the middle of the pack. Point Guard Chris Paul led the team to their first divisional title in 2008, but they've slipped back into mediocrity since then. Due to a minor weather incident in New Orleans in 2005, the Hornets played home games in Oklahoma City for a while. The Seattle (Super)Sonics took note of the team's strong reception there, leading to...

* ''Phoenix Suns'': One of many teams without a championship. They've been pretty solid in the '00s - they've got Steve Nash and some other solid names to their credit. Historically, they are one of the better franchises in the NBA. Ex-Suns coach Mike D'Antoni instituted a system that's successful called "Seven Seconds or Less". That style of play was not only fun, but other teams started to copy that system during the late 2000s.

* ''Cleveland Cavaliers'': A team of many, many ups and downs, the Cavs were largely sagging until [=LeBron=] James was delivered unto them - since then, they've been absolutely dominant and among the best teams in the league. Which doesn't bode well for them now that he's gone...they're in a weird place between ButtMonkey and [[TheWoobie Woobie]] status. In the 90's, coach Mike Fratello instituted an absolutely glacial slowdown offense which resulted in unusually low scores; while it worked for the team, he's largely blamed for the dropoff in scoring and more "boring" style of play league-wide that took hold later in the decade and the early 2000s.

* ''Milwaukee Bucks'': They've been one of the league's weaker teams lately, though they once had a little player by the name of Lew Alcindor (who you may know better as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar). Their first and last championship was in 1971, their second season of existence. Soon after, Alcindor/Abdul-Jabbar left because he considered Milwaukee culturally backwards, [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer which is not something we just made up]]. The team's been mediocre since then, with some good teams in the mid-80s. On another note, when they drafted Glenn Robinson in the 90s, his contract was so ludicrous that the league instigated a salary cap for rookies the very next year.

* ''Los Angeles Lakers'': The West's answer to the Boston Celtics. They've got 16 championships to their name and they're the first team to win 3,000 regular-season games. Their historical rosters read like a criterion collection of [=NBA=] history. Jerry West, Kareem-Abdul Jabbar, Magic Johnson, Shaquille O'Neal, and Kobe Bryant have all at some point called this place home - all five have between them 8 [=MVP=] awards. Jerry West's image forms the iconic NBA logo. Also the team of George Mikan, who we blame for the fact that you need a pituitary disorder to play basketball today. The name is [[TheArtifact an artifact]] from their early days in Minneapolis. Minnesota has lots of lakes; Los Angeles, on the edge of a desert, does not. This began the tradition of NBA teams keeping their name on changing cities, no matter how incongruous. Speaking of which...

* ''Shaquille O'Neal'': Dominant center, most famously playing for the Los Angeles Lakers. He bounces around from team to team year by year, but he's still pretty good in spite of a growing weight problem. He's got four championship rings (3 with the Lakers, one with the Heat), and he's been to 15 All-Star games. Named one of the 50 greatest players in NBA history in 1996 (which some at the time felt was premature, though there's little doubt he's earned the title since). He's also done some acting and released a couple of rap albums (many of which actually went gold).

* ''Los Angeles Lakers'': The West's answer to the Boston Celtics. They've got 16 championships to their name and they're the first team to win 3,000 regular-season games. Their historical rosters read like a criterion collection of [=NBA=] history. Kareem-Abdul Jabbar, Magic Johnson, Shaquille O'Neal, and Kobe Bryant have all at some point called this place home - all four have between them 8 [=MVP=] awards. Also the team of George Mikan, who we blame for the fact that you need a pituitary disorder to play basketball today. The name is [[TheArtifact an artifact]] from their early days in Minneapolis. Minnesota has lots of lakes; Los Angeles, on the edge of a desert, does not. This began the tradition of NBA teams keeping their name on changing cities, no matter how incongruous. Speaking of which...

* ''Michael Jordan'': Probably the most recent player to have a legitimate claim to the title of "best ever". He played in the '80s and '90s for the Chicago Bulls, and was largely known for being unstoppable - so much so that other teams would often just let him do his thing and just try to stop the other four guys. He was one of the most heavily marketed and merchandised athletes in any sport ''ever''. He retired at the height of his career - [[EpilepticTrees rumors abound]] as to why this happened. He returned a couple of years later with his skills no less diminshed. He then retired again. Some people may try to tell you that he came out of retirement a second time to play for the Wizards, but they're [[DisContinuity clearly confused]].

* ''Detroit Pistons'': Originally known as the Fort Wayne Pistons, they moved to Detroit early in their history when it became clear that they would need money to survive. Throughout most of the 2000s, they were fairly dominant, even winning it all in 2004. Since then, they've been known as the team that couldn't win it all - from 2006-2008, they went to the conference championship three straight years but lost to the opposing team. Also very good in the late '80s, when the "Bad Boys" of Isiah Thomas, Joe Dumars, Bill Laimbeer, Dennis Rodman, and Rick Mahorn won back-to-back championships in '89 and '90. Traditionally, they are known for strong defense and good-enough offense.

* ''Milwaukee Bucks'': They've been one of the league's weaker teams lately, though they once had a little player by the name of Lew Alcindor (who you may know better as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar). Their first and last championship was in 1971, their second season of existence. Soon after, Alcindor/Abdul-Jabbar left because he considered Milwaukee culturally backwards, which is not something we just made up. The team's been mediocre since then, with some good teams in the mid-80s. On another note, when they drafted Glenn Robinson in the 90s, his contract was so ludicrous that the league instigated a salary cap for rookies the very next year.
* ''New Jersey Nets'': Formerly known as the New Jersey Americans and the New York Nets. They were the league's running joke until the Jason Kidd era of the 2000s, when they reached the finals (and lost) two years in a row. In the 2009-10 season, they narrowly avoided becoming the worst team of all time. Also, like the Indiana Pacers, they're one of the four surviving ABA teams. Recently they were bought by an eccentric Russian billionare who eventually plans to move the team to Brooklyn. This will undoubtedly put an end to the question, "If the Nets won a championship, where would they hold the parade?" (The Nets' New Jersey home is located in the middle of a mess of suburbs and decayed cities that lacks a natural center.)

* ''Orlando Magic'': One of the better teams playing today, they've had names like Tracy [=McGrady=] and Dwight Howard in recent years. They came within a few games of winning a Finals in the 2008-09 season, but they lost to the Lakers. They were Shaquille O'Neal's original team, and it was with the Magic that Shaq became known for destroying backboards.
* ''Philadelphia 76ers'': Formerly known as the Syracuse Nationals. In the 1972-73 season, they had a 9-win season. Yes, 9 wins out of 82. On a more positive note, they were the team of prolific [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean scorer]] Wilt Chamberlain, Julius "Doctor J" Erving, and later Allen Iverson, who led the team to the Finals in 2001. Also Charles Barkley's team in the 80s and early 90s, though both parties today don't care for each other very much.

* ''Dallas Mavericks'': The Mavs started playing in 1980. Throughout most of the '80s, they were generally pretty good - though they entered a bit of a DorkAge in the 1990s. Early in their history they were about to unseat the then-mighty Lakers in the playoffs until their point guard lost track of the score in a critical game. However, when [[AscendedFanboy dot-com bubble billionaire Mark Cuban]] bought the team, and brought Dirk Nowitzki and Steve Nash got into the area, they started getting good again - good enough to make the playoffs pretty much year in and year out, making it all the way to the Finals in 2006.
* ''Denver Nuggets'': One of the better teams playing today. The current team of Carmelo Anthony, who was runner-up to [=LeBron=] James the year he was drafted. Allen Iverson played here too, but was traded to Detroit for Chauncey Billups in the 08-09 season. While they've been pretty consistenly good for a while, they're yet another team with that "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" vibe about them. Also, like the Indiana Pacers, the New Jersey Nets, and the San Antonio Spurs, they're one of the four surviving ABA teams. During the 80s, they were a famously high-scoring team whose coach, Doug Moe, literally did not believe in defense, once pulling the team to the sidelines late in the game while the other team scored at will as a protest.

* ''New Orleans Hornets'': Formerly the Charlotte Hornets. They've been fairly consistent in their 20 years - occasionally very bad, occasionally very good, but mostly in the middle of the pack. Point Guard Chris Paul led the team to their first divisional title in 2008, but they've slipped back into mediocrity since then. Due to a minor weather incident in New Orleans in 2005, the Hornets played home games in Oklahoma City for a while. The Seattle Supersonics took note of the team's strong reception there, leading to...
* ''Oklahoma City Thunder'': Formerly the Seattle (Super)Sonics. They were pretty bad when they moved to OK - then Kevin Durant started getting really good and they're suddenly in playoff contention. Glory days were in the late 70's, when they won a championship, and the mid 90's, when they were the favored team of several noted Seattle bands.

* ''Cleveland Cavaliers'': A team of many, many ups and downs, the Cavs were largely sagging until [=LeBron=] James was delivered unto them - since then, they've been absolutely dominant and among the best teams in the league. Which doesn't bode well for them now that he's gone...they're in a weird place between ButtMonkey and [[TheWoobie Woobie]] status. In the 90's, coach Mike Fratello instituted an absolutely glacial slowdown offense which resulted in unusually low scores; while it worked for the team, he's largely blamed for the dropoff in scoring and more "boring" style of play league-wide that took hold later in the decade.

* ''Phoenix Suns'': One of many teams without a championship. They've been pretty solid in the '00s - they've got Steve Nash and some other solid names to their credit. Historically, they are one of the better franchises in the NBA.

* ''Atlanta Hawks'': They've bounced around the league from ''Buffalo'' (as the ''Bisons'' for only 13 games) to the Tri-Cities of Moline, Illinois; Rock Island, Illinois; and Davenport, Iowa (as the ''Blackhawks'') to Milwaukee to St. Louis, but they landed in Atlanta in 1968 and have stayed there for a while - they really haven't done much of note, though they've been a playoff contender lately. But in the 80s they were at least fun to watch, with two Slam Dunk Contest champions in Spud Webb and Dominique Wilkins.

* ''Atlanta Hawks'': They've bounced around the league from the Tri-Cities (as the ''Blackhawks'') to Milwaukee to St. Louis, but they landed in Atlanta in 1968 and have stayed there for a while - they really haven't done much of note, though they've been a playoff contender lately. But in the 80s they were at least fun to watch, with two Slam Dunk Contest champions in Spud Webb and Dominique Wilkins.

* ''Washington Wizards'': Formerly known by many names like the Chicago Packers, the Chicago Zephyrs, the Baltimore Bullets, the Capital Bullets (who actually play in the small D.C. suburb of Landover, Maryland), and the Washington Bullets. Michael Jordan allegedly used to play for them briefly. Their name was changed from "Bullets" because of the UnfortunateImplications of glorifying bullets in a city with an astronomical crime rate. The team of Gilbert "Agent Zero" Arenas, who decided which team to sign with by flipping a coin, sponsors professional video game teams, and is constantly in trouble with the league administration.

The dominant national championships are located in Spain,

* ''Washington Wizards'': Formerly known by many names like the Chicago Packers, the Chicago Zephyrs, the Baltimore Bullets, the Capital Bullets (which, contrary to popular belief, is not in Washington, D.C., but rather the small land of Landover, Maryland), and the Washington Bullets. Michael Jordan allegedly used to play for them briefly. Their name was changed from "Bullets" because of the UnfortunateImplications of glorifying bullets in a city with an astronomical crime rate. The team of Gilbert "Agent Zero" Arenas, who decided which team to sign with by flipping a coin, sponsors professional video game teams, and is constantly in trouble with the league administration.

* ''Los Angeles Lakers'': The West's answer to the Boston Celtics. They've got 16 championships to their name and they're the first team to win 3,000 regular-season games. Their historical rosters read like a criterion collection of [=NBA=] history. Kareem-Abdul Jabbar, Magic Johnson, Shaquille O'Neal, and Kobe Bryant have all at some point called this place home - all four have between them 8 [=MVP=] awards. The name is [[TheArtifact an artifact]] from their early days in Minneapolis. Minnesota has lots of lakes; Los Angeles, on the edge of a desert, does not. This began the tradition of NBA teams keeping their name on changing cities, no matter how incongruous. Speaking of which...

* ''Sacramento Kings'': They last won a championship in 1951. Bounced around from Rochester (as the Royals) to Cincinnati (also as the Royals) to Kansas City-Omaha to ''just'' Kansas City before settling in Sacramento in 1985. Sacramento's only major league sports team, they have been enormously successful in terms of fanbase since they moved there.

* ''New Jersey Nets'': Formerly known as the New Jersey Americans and the New York Nets. They had been one of the league's more solid teams - until the 2009-10 season, when they narrowly avoided becoming the worst team of all time. Also, like the Indiana Pacers, they're one of four ABA teams to move to the NBA.
* ''New York Knicks'': The former team of Patrick Ewing. Ever since his retirement, the Knickerbockers been in something of a downward spiral. In Game 7 of the 1970 NBA Finals, Willis Reed hobbled out on an injured leg, scored four points, and inspired his team to win the game and the Championship. On another note, this is the preferred team of famed director Spike Lee. The shame of an otherwise proud sports city. Also, on one last note, they're one of only two franchises to start in the NBA in its beginnings back in the 1946-47 season and stay in their hone city.

* ''Philadelphia 76ers'': Formerly known as the Syracuse Nationals. In the 1972-73 season, they had a 9-win season. Yes, 9 wins out of 82. On a more positive note, they were the team of prolific [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean scorer]] Wilt Chamberlain, Julius "Doctor J" Erving, and later Allen Iverson, who led the team to the Finals in 2001. Also Charles Barkley's team in the 80s and early 90s, though both parties don't care for each other very much.

* ''Washington Wizards'': Formerly known by many names like the Chicago Packers, the Chicago Zephyrs, the Baltimore Bullets, the Capital Bullets (which, contrary to popular belief, is not in Washington, D.C., but rather the small land of Landover, Maryland), and the Washington Bullets. Michael Jordan allegedly used to play for them briefly. Other than that, not much notable, unless you count the recent gun scandal that makes the "Washington Bullets" moniker seem so much more appropriate. Also, this team is not related to the Baltimore Bullets team that ended up winning the 1947-48 NBA Finals championship.

* ''Dallas Mavericks'': The Mavs started playing in 1980. Throughout most of the '80s, they were generally pretty good - though they entered a bit of a DorkAge in the 1990s. Early in their history they nearly unseated the then-mighty Lakers until their point guard lost track of the score in a critical game. However, when [[AscendedFanboy dot-com bubble billionaire Mark Cuban]] bought the team, and brought Dirk Nowitzki and Steve Nash got into the area, they started getting good again - good enough to make the playoffs pretty much year in and year out, making it all the way to the Finals in 2006.
* ''Denver Nuggets'': One of the better teams playing today. The current team of Carmelo Anthony, who was runner-up to [=LeBron=] James the year he was drafted. Allen Iverson played here too, but was traded to Detroit for Chauncey Billups in the 08-09 season. While they've been pretty consistenly good for a while, they're yet another team with that "always a bridesmaid, never a bride" vibe about them. Also, like the Indiana Pacers, the New Jersey Nets, and the San Antonio Spurs, they're one of four teams from the ABA to move to the NBA. Two more things: they were originally called the Denver Rockets back in the ABA, but had to change to the Denver Nuggets because they already had the Houston Rockets. Also they don't share the history of the Denver Nuggets franchise that was a part of the NBA back in the 1949-1950 season.

* ''Houston Rockets'': Won two championships in the '90s with the mighty Hakeem Olajuwon. Since then, they've been largely in the same boat as teams like Dallas and Denver - always a bridesmaid, never a bride. On the other hand, they drafted Yao Ming a few years back, starting a trend of Chinese players entering the league. For the first four years, they were known as the San Diego Rockets.
* ''Los Angeles Clippers'': As close to a ButtMonkey as the league has, though actor Billy Crystal is a well-known supporter. Born as the Buffalo Braves and later on, the San Diego Clippers, they're historically known as one of the league's joke teams. They don't have any divisional, conference, or league championships to their names. Oh, and they have the unfortunate distinction of sharing a city with the...

* ''New Orleans Hornets'': Formerly the Charlotte Hornets and the New Orleans/Oklahoma City Hornets. They've been fairly consistent in their 20 years - occasionally very bad, occasionally very good, but mostly in the middle of the pack. Point Guard Chris Paul led the team to their first divisional title in 2008, but they've slipped back into mediocrity since then.

* ''Phoenix Suns'': One of many teams without a championship. They've been pretty solid in the '00s - they've got Steve Nash and some other solid names to their credit - but much like Dallas, Denver, and...heck, practically half of the West, always a bridesmaid, never a bride. However, they are one of the better franchises in the NBA.

* ''Boston Celtics'': One of the most storied teams in the history of the league, this was the team that ended up winning ''eight'' straight championships from the 50's and 60's. They're also the team associated of Larry Bird during the '70s and '80s. They have 17 league championships (more than any other team) to their credit. From the late '90s to the mid-'00s, the team declined heavily due to some mismanagement. However, thanks to a couple of brilliant trades (acquiring Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett), they rebounded and won the 2008 Finals. They've been pretty good since. Also, due to some classic matchups in the '80s, as well as the rivalry between Magic Johnson and Larry Bird, they've been rivals of the Lakers for a while now. Also only one of two franchises to start in the NBA in its beginnings back in the 1946-47 season and stay in their home city (the other team being the New York Knicks).

* ''Detroit Pistons'': Formerly known as the Fort Wayne (Zollner) Pistons. Throughout most of the 2000s, they were fairly dominant, even winning it all in 2004. Since then, they've been known as the team that couldn't win it all - from 2006-2008, they went to the conference championship three straight years but lost to the opposing team. Also very good in the late '80s, when the "Bad Boys" of Isiah Thomas, Joe Dumars, Bill Laimbeer, Dennis Rodman, and Rick Mahorn won back-to-back championships in '89 and '90. Traditionally, they are known for strong defense and good-enough offense.
* ''Indiana Pacers'': Best known as the team of Reggie Miller, who joined them in 1987 and played with them for 18 years. Made it to the finals in 2000, but weren't able to beat the Lakers to win it all. Most of their players (apart from Miller) were either traded or retired soon afterward. After a couple years of rebuilding (and still making the playoffs), they became a contender again in 2003-- but then, in 2004, came the infamous brawl with the Detroit Pistons that resulted in several suspensions and essentially ruined their (previously excellent) chance of winning the 2004 NBA championship. Reggie retired after the Pacers were eliminated from the playoffs, and the team was never been the same. Also one of four ABA teams (the others being the New Jersey Nets, the Denver Nuggets, and the San Antonio Spurs) to move to the NBA. Used to be very regular playoff contenders who could never seal the deal, but currently they're a rung up from pathetic to just being forgotten.

* ''Milwaukee Bucks'': They've been one of the league's weaker teams lately, though they once had a little player by the name of Lew Alcindor (who you may know better as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar). Their first and last championship was in 1971, their second season of existence. On another note, when they drafted Glenn Robinson in the 90s, his contract was so ludicrous that the league instigated a salary cap for rookies the very next year.

* ''Atlanta Hawks'': They've bounced around the league from the Tri-Cities (as the ''Blackhawks'') to Milwaukee to St. Louis, but they landed in Atlanta in 1968 and have stayed there for a while - they really haven't done much of note, though they've been a playoff contender lately.

* ''Cleveland Cavaliers'': A team of many, many ups and downs, the Cavs were largely sagging until [=LeBron=] James was delivered unto them - since then, they've been absolutely dominant and among the best teams in the league. Which doesn't bode well for them now that he's gone...they're in a weird place between ButtMonkey and [[TheWoobie Woobie]] status.
* ''Detroit Pistons'': Formerly known as the Fort Wayne (Zollner) Pistons. Throughout most of the 2000s, they were fairly dominant, even winning it all in 2004. Since then, they've been known as the team that couldn't win it all - from 2006-2008, they went to the conference championship three straight years but lost to the opposing team. Also very good in the late '80s, when the "Bad Boys" of Isiah Thomas, Joe Dumars, Bill Laimbeer, Dennis Rodman, and Rick Mahorn won back-to-back championships in '89 and '90.

* ''Milwaukee Bucks'': They've been one of the league's weaker teams lately, though they once had a little player by the name of Lew Alcindor (who you may know better as Kareem Abdul-Jabbar). Their first and last championship was in 1971. On another note, when they drafted Glenn Robinson in the 90s, his contract was so ludicrous that the league instigated a salary cap for rookies the very next year.

* ''Orlando Magic'': One of the better teams playing today, they've had names like Tracy [=McGrady=] and Dwight Howard in recent years. They came within a few games of winning a Finals in the 2008-09 season, but they lost to the Lakers.
* ''Philadelphia 76ers'': Formerly known as the Syracuse Nationals. In the 1972-73 season, they had a 9-win season. Yes, 9 wins out of 82. On a more positive note, they were the team of prolific [[IfYouKnowWhatIMean scorer]] Wilt Chamberlain, Julius "Doctor J" Irving, and later Allen Iverson, who led the team to the Finals in 2001.
* ''Toronto Raptors'': Started play in 1995. They haven't made it past the conference championship yet. Market their status as the only Canadian team heavily (they started along with the Vancouver Grizzlies, which has since moved to Memphis), including changing their primary color from purple to red.

* ''Dallas Mavericks'': The Mavs started playing in 1980. Throughout most of the '80s, they were generally pretty good - though they entered a bit of a DorkAge in the 1990s. However, when [[AscendedFanboy dot-com bubble billionaire Mark Cuban]] bought the team, and brought Dirk Nowitzki and Steve Nash got into the area, they started getting good again - good enough to make the playoffs pretty much year in and year out, making it all the way to the Finals in 2006.

* ''Los Angeles Lakers'': The West's answer to the Boston Celtics. They've got 16 championships to their name and they're the first team to win 3,000 regular-season games. Their historical rosters read like a criterion collection of [=NBA=] history. Kareem-Abdul Jabbar, Magic Johnson, Shaquille O'Neal, and Kobe Bryant have all at some point called this place home - all four have between them 8 [=MVP=] awards. The name is [[TheArtifact an artifact]] from their early days in Minneapolis.
* ''Memphis Grizzlies'': Started play in 1995. They've done very little of note. And by that, we mean ''very,'' '''very''' little. They've shown improvement in recent years, but remain far from contenders.

* ''Oklahoma City Thunder'': Formerly the Seattle (Super)Sonics. They were pretty bad when they moved to OK - then Kevin Durant started getting really good and they're suddenly in playoff contention.
* ''Phoenix Suns'': One of many teams without a championship. They've been pretty solid in the '00s - they've got Steve Nash and some other solid names to their credit - but much like Dallas, Denver, and...heck, practically half of the West, always a bridesmaid, never a bride. However, they are one of the more winningest franchises in the NBA.

* ''Sacramento Kings'': They last won a championship in 1951. Bounced around from Rochester (as the Royals) to Cincinnati (also as the Royals) to Kansas City-Omaha to ''just'' Kansas City before settling in Sacramento in 1985. Fun fact: they're currently the only "Big Four" team in Sacramento.

* ''Utah Jazz'': Best known as the team of assist king John Stockton and "The Mailman" Karl Malone. However, despite their dominance, they have no championships to show for it. The franchise was originally from New Orleans, in case you wondered what Utah had to do with jazz.

* ''Larry Bird'': One of the more popular figures in Boston sports history. Has 3 [=MVP=] trophies and 3 championships to his credit. Was TheRival to Magic Johnson when the two matched up.

*''Miami Heat'': Started in 1988, they've been one of the league's more stable teams - they even won a Finals in 2006 on the backs of Dwyane Wade and Shaquille O'Neal. They've had various All-Stars in and out of their team as well. Now they have Dwyane Wade, [=LeBron=] James and Chris Bosh on the same team.