History TheReasonYouSuckSpeech / Literature

* Glaurung the father of dragons delivers a '''phenomenal''' one to AntiHero Túrin Turambar in ''Literature/TheSilmarillion'' by JRR Tolkien:
--> '''Glaurung:''' Evil have been thy ways, son of Húrin. Thankless fosterling, outlaw, slayer of thy friend, thief of love, usurper of Nargothrond, captain foolhardy and deserter of thy kin. As thralls thy mother and sister live in Dor-lomin, in misery and want. Thou art arrayed as prince, but they go in rags; and for thee they yearn, but thou carest not for that. Glad may thy father be to learn that he hath such a son; as learn he shall.
** In the expanded version of this tale in ''Literature/TheChildrenOfHurin'', Brandir delivers a vicious repetition of Glaurung's speech, with his own touches.

* Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire has many, unsurprising considering its boatload of characters, most of whom deserve a bollocking at some point or another due to the GambitPileup GreyAndGrayMorality setting.

** [[GodSaveUsFromTheQueen Cersei]] receives a truly excellent one from [[spoiler: her uncle Kevan]] with regards to her many failings as a ruler and a mother. [[IgnoredEpiphany She throws wine in his face, orders him to leave, and thinks to herself that he's a traitor rather than face the truth of his accusations.]]
*** She gets another excellent one from [[spoiler: Margaery Tyrell]], when Cersei visits her in her cell, showing that she's seen through approximately 100% of Cersei's bullshit and calling her out as a paranoid [[MyBelovedSmother Beloved Smother]] and utterly [[SmugSnake deflating]] her pretensions to {{Magnificent Bastard}}ry.

* Franchise/StarWarsLegends:

*** This also doubles as DareToBeBadass, as it drives Barlowe to [[spoiler: buy the house he rents.]]

* In Literature/TheEddas, ''The Flyting of Loki'' is all about him delivering one of these to the assembled company of Valhalla, collectively and individually -- Thor is a braggart, Freja is a ho, Odin is kinky, etc. While this could have been a jolly tale to be memorised and recited in the feast-hall, it's more likely that it was written by a convert to Christianity to lampoon the old gods and to denounce the moral standards of pre-Christian Norse culture. For context, it should be noted that flyting is a Norse tradition that is basically a formalized exchange of "reason you suck" speeches, so this sort of thing happens a lot in Myth/NorseMythology.

* In the graphic novel ''Marzi: A Memoir,'' Bozena the strict ballet teacher refuses to accept any girl into her dance class who isn't thin enough for her liking, including Marzi's friend Monika. When Monika's mother, [[MamaBear Stasia,]] gets wind of the situation, she wastes no time brutally tearing into Bozena, calling her irresponsible and unfit to work with children. And it ''works,'' getting Bozena to resign (or be fired, it isn't clear which, but either way, she's gone).
-->'''Stasia:''' What did you say to my daughter? That she's fat?! What's wrong with you? She's a young girl! She's refusing to eat because of you!
-->'''Bozena:''' But you don't understand...
-->'''Stasia:''' No! You're the one who doesn't understand! You should not be working with children. I'm going to let it be known, don't you worry. You're completely irresponsible!!
-->'''Bozena:''' She could come back, you know, and join us...
-->'''Stasia:''' Come back?? To be humiliated!?! One of your students told me about your methods!! Monika isn't the only one who won't be back, you're out of here! Trust me!

** He thinks of [[{{Room101}} one]]. [[spoiler: They do it, of course, and it's the thing that finally breaks him]].

--->'''[[spoiler: Ender]]''': [[spoiler: Bonzo]], [[WellDoneSonGuy your father would be proud of you]]. [[SarcasmMode He would love to see you now]], come to fight a naked boy in a shower, smaller than you, and you brought six friends. He would say, [[HonorBeforeReason Oh, what honor]]. Be proud, [[spoiler: Bonito]], pretty boy. You can go home and tell your father, Yes, I beat up [[spoiler: Ender Wiggin]], who was barely ten years old, and I was thirteen. And I had only six of my friends to help me, and somehow we managed to defeat him, even though he was naked and wet and alone -- [[spoiler: Ender Wiggin]] is so ''dangerous'' and ''terrifying'' it was all we could do not to bring two hundred.

-->'''Alpha''': "I'm impressed that you think so highly of the Pack. But the truth is, a dog never changes. I've been around long enough to know that. Look at you - you're a Lone Dog; it's in your blood. Your Lone Dog nature will always get the better of you. First you joined the Leashed Dogs, then the Wild Pack. Now you have taken it upon yourself to foster the Fierce Dogs. I doubt your commitment will last. I'll wake up one morning to discover you've deserted the Pack, including your precious Fierce Dogs. We'll be left to pick up the pieces."

-->'''Fiery''': "I respect Alpha. He has led us well and kept us together, in good times and bad. But I believe the Big Growl changed things. Our world has turned upside down, and I don't think Alpha can cope anymore. He has been hesitant; he has failed to make decisions. And his [[FantasticRacism attitude]] to the Leashed Dogs is not helping. He scorns them instead of valuing the skills they do have, and he makes no attempt to hide his dislike for Lick. His attitude is beginning to cause conflict in the Pack. While I know and respect what he has done as our Alpha, I believe I would be the better leader now-the stronger leader. That's why I challenge him."

-->'''Lucky''': "You disgust me! You despicable traitor. You turned on your own Pack after they mourned for you, taking you for dead! Dishonorable beast! Even now, you show contempt for the laws of the Spirit Dogs! Blade promised that Storm could go free if she passed the Trial, that she would not be harmed!"

-->'''Sol:''' I'm always overlooked! Never made leader of a patrol...always scorned because I used to be a kittypet! ''I can be a warrior!''
-->'''Leafstar:''' No. You can't. You have no understanding of the warrior code at all. What you've done here proves it. You've risked the lives of young kits...by leaving them alone here. Anything could have happened to them. They could have been lost. They could have died. ''My kits could have '''died'''.'' But you didn't just betray me. You betrayed the entire Clan. You did all this...and you never considered how it would make any of us feel. The Clan is a family, Sol. A community. And you're incapable of thinking about anyone but yourself. I banish you from [=SkyClan=]. You've betrayed my trust, betrayed the warrior code...betrayed everything I thought you believed in.

-->'''Sol:''' Those rogues were right. You ''are'' pathetic! You think the warrior code will keep you safe? What if there's another flood? More rats? Twolegs? You'll only ever be as strong as your weakest kit or oldest elder! I curse all Clans for their foolishness!

** At the end of ''Literature/AStormOfSwords'', Merrett Frey gets one from his father Walder Frey. Merrett finally had one thing in his life go right- namely, securing a marriage alliance with House Bolton by marrying his daughter Walda off to Roose Bolton, but Walder reminds him that Roose got his bride's weight in silver as a dowry and Walda is the fattest woman in House Frey.

** Sherburn plays this trope HARD. "Then he says, slow and scornful, 'The idea of YOU lynching anybody! It’s amusing. The idea of you thinking you had pluck enough to lynch a MAN!'" etc.

--->'''Jim:''' What do dey stan’ for? I’se gwyne to tell you. When I got all wore out wid work, en wid de callin’ for you, en went to sleep, my heart wuz mos’ broke bekase you wuz los’, en I didn’ k’yer no’ mo’ what become er me en de raf’. En when I wake up en fine you back agin, all safe en soun’, de tears come, en I could a got down on my knees en kiss yo’ foot, I’s so thankful. En all you wuz thinkin’ ’bout wuz how you could make a fool uv ole Jim wid a lie. Dat truck dah is TRASH; en trash is what people is dat puts dirt on de head er dey fren’s en makes ’em ashamed.
* ''Literature/TheAliceNetwork'': [[spoiler: Charlie]] tells René why he’s an idiot near the end.
-->''You thought you were so clever, starting a new life, and all it took to find you was a college girl making a few telephone calls. … This Baudelaire obsession of yours, it isn’t just really, ''really'' boring, it makes you easy to find. You’re not clever, you’re predictable. If you hadn’t [[ThePasswordIsAlwaysSwordfish named your restaurant after the same damn poem twice in a row]], you’d still be sipping champagne over dinner right now, not packing a bag and running. For the ''third'' time in your miserable cliché of a life.''
* Aftran does "the reason you humans as a whole suck" speech in ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}'' when she's talking to Cassie in "The Departure". She tells Cassie how humans suck because they don't appreciate the beauty of the world they live in and that they complain about the Yeerks enslaving them, but they do the same thing to their own livestock.

* {{Older Than Feudalism}}: UsefulNotes/{{Jesus}}, of all people, lays down a few of these in ''Literature/TheBible'', usually directed at the [[CorruptChurch Pharisees]]. He also had a tendency to lambast crowds as he was teaching them, such as this quote from [[Literature/TheFourGospels Matthew 21:31]] (New American Standard Bible):
-->''Which of the two did the will of his father?” They said, “The first.” Jesus said to them, “Truly I say to you that the tax collectors and prostitutes will get into the kingdom of God before you."
** The entirety of Matthew Chapter 23 is one of these, often titled "The Seven Woes" with each of the seven sections starting out "Woe unto thee, Pharisees and givers of the law, [[{{Hypocrite}} you hypocrites!]]"
** In the Literature/BookOfJonah, God himself calls out Jonah at the end for having SkewedPriorities, namely weeping that a plant that gave him shade has died but being fine with the entire city of Nineveh being smitten to ash.
-->"You are concerned about the bush, for which you did not labour and which you did not grow; it came into being in a night and perished in a night. And should I not be concerned about Nineveh, that great city, in which there are more than a hundred and twenty thousand people who do not know their right hand from their left, and also many animals?"

* The titular heroine of ''[[Literature/TheCasteelSeries Heaven]]'' gives one to [[WomanScorned Kitty]] after all the abuse she suffered at the latter's hands:

* Almost everything that Eudamonia says is one of these, or a prelude to one, in ''Literature/CastleHangnail'' by Creator/UrsulaVernon. And finally, Molly responds in kind.

* ''Literature/TheDivineComedy'': Since [[SinisterMinister corrupt priests]] especially disgust Dante, he has his AuthorAvatar preach to a damned Pope by asking how much treasure Jesus asked of Saint Peter before giving him the Keys to the Kingdom of Heaven. Since the answer is "no treasure," Dante happily requests the deceased Pope stay in the fires of Hell to make sure his ill-gotten money is well-protected, as befitting one who is the ideal evangelist for [[{{Satan}} the red dragon of Hell]] and the worshipper of hundreds of gods of silver and treasure. Whether out of anger and despair, the speech causes the damned Pope to struggle more violently from within his pit, but Dante claims that he would condemn his greed even further if not for Dante's respect for the office the damned held in life. The speech is the centerpiece of the Canto and encapsulates Dante's thoughts on simony by putting it in the context of Literature/TheFourGospels, the Literature/BookOfRevelation, Italian politics, and his respect for the Papacy.

* In Literature/{{Elantris}} Sarene gives a nasty one to Iadon that actually leaves the man as a blubbering wreck.

'''Cyril''': That's a policy in name-only. If the person int eh higher position doesn't proclaim equality first, then there's no way those of lower status could act as their equals. However, your highness... \\

* In ''Literature/TheVillainousDaughter'sButler'', after an incident between his followers and the protagonists that happened during his date, Prince Alforth asks Cyril why Sophia was disappointed in him and how he should rectify the situation. As this isn't the first time Alforth's immaturity has cause problems, Cyril takes this opportunity.

* In ''Literature/{{Kane}}'' story "Cold Light" Rehhaile (who is technically blind but also a kind of psychic) gives one to Alidore, lieutenant to [[KnightTemplar Lord Gaethaa]], who came to Sebbei to fight and kill [[VillainProtagonist Kane]]. While Alidore vehemently disagrees, her words grow on him.

* Aftran does "the reason you humans as a whole suck" speech in ''Literature/{{Animorphs}}'', when she's talking to Cassie in "The Departure". She tells Cassie how humans suck because they don't appreciate the beauty of the world they live in and that they complain about the Yeerks enslaving them, but they do the same thing to their own livestock.

--> '''Brenish:''' That is my honor, Gareth. Coward am I? I brought no shield here; you brought twelve.

* In ''Literature/TheCodeOfTheWoosters'', from the Literature/JeevesAndWooster series, Bertie finds out Sir Roderick Spode's dark secret, and delivers a serious verbal beatdown.

* In ''Dreaming of Amelia'' by Jaclyn Moriarty, one of the main characters, Emily, wants to do Law at university. For this she needs a signed form from her principal, but she hasn't got it back. She finally works up the courage to go see him...
--> '''Mr Ludovico''': Do you really think you have what it takes to be a lawyer? Lawyers are adults. Let's take a look about what it means to be an adult, shall we? Adults are independent. You, Emily, can't seem to take a step in any direction without Lydia and Cassie by your side. An adult would simply work hard to improve his marks. You, Emily, make foolish requests to have your marks altered. An adult is a rational being. ''You'' ran around last term obsessing over Amelia and Riley, and ''this'' term you're shouting to the world -- including, I might add, on some childishly hysterical blogs-- that there's a ghost living in the Art Rooms at this school! You are every inch a child, Emily, and I see no indications that you will ever grow up. Now, let me ask you this. Would I be doing my job -- ''would I be carrying out my responsibilities as principal of this school'' -- if I signed a form that allowed you to be a lawyer?

-->'''Mr Ludovico''': In the last few weeks, my school has been overrun with hysteria about your ghost. Students are refusing to enter the Art Rooms. Teachers can't get their students to concentrate. You have infected my entire student body with your childishness. There is no ghost, and yet, if I didn't sign this form, your parents would be in this office in an instant. Taking some kind of legal action, no doubt. Not letting me get away with it! Protecting their little girl! I always intended to sign it. Just thought I might try to teach you something about the real world first. Help you to grow up a little. But now I see you're a lost cause.

* ''Literature/FamilySkeletonMysteries'': Georgia's superior in the fifth book is disgusted when she discovers the string of art thefts going on in the school, but even more so when Georgia's coworkers are only concerned with covering it up so they don't lose their jobs or their chances at tenure. She calls them out for failing to do their duty to help the students like they're supposed to, and declares if they're so worried about money to get another job.

* In ''Literature/{{Frankenstein}}'', after being created and abandoned, the Creature sets out to take vengeance on his creator by murdering Dr Frankenstein's younger brother (and causing a servant to be wrongfully executed for the murder), his best friend and eventually his bride. Frankenstein then pursues the Creature until he falls ill, tells a ship captain named Walton his life story, and dies. Walton then sees the Creature [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone express regret for Frankenstein's death]], and responds as follows.

* In ''Literature/TheGoldfishBoy'', Matthew's ex-friend Jake offers to help him and Melody with their investigation into Teddy's disappearance. Matthew replies, "You? Help? When have you ever wanted to help anyone besides yourself?" Jake shouts at Matthew for not defending him when he was bullied by both classmates and teachers for having eczema, and finishes with "Forget it. I wouldn't want a friend like you anyway."
* You can't read an Olivia Goldsmith book without this coming up at least once, usually when her scumbags get their well-deserved compeuppances. It happens to all ''three'' of the ex-husbands in ''The First Wives Club'', one by his own son.

** In ''Order of the Phoenix'' we also see [[AMindIsATerribleThingToRead a memory]] of Lily giving one to James back when he was a pompous, bullying JerkJock.

* ''Literature/InDeath'': This has popped up from time to time. A pretty nice one is when Eve gets attacked by Isaac [=McQueen=] in ''New York To Dallas'' and Eve tells him that he should have just run and hid somewhere for awhile after he broke out of prison. Instead, he decided to go after her. She concludes with "You're just ''fucking'' stupid!" He does not take that well.

* ''Literature/TheRifter'': Laurie accusing John of being controlling toward "his kingdom" that he’s the god of. This is something that John tends to worry about himself. It’s true that there’s danger in a country depending on a single ruler -- an immortal one at that! -- however well-intentioned (and John is a something like a paragon of liberal American values and environmental responsibility). John tries to be as non-interventionary as possible, sets up democratic institutions, and [[StopWorshippingMe forbids people from worshipping him]], but they do anyway... Laurie was John's oldest friend, and now that she's his greatest enemy she’s very good at getting past his defenses saying things that remind him of his weaknesses.

* In the ''Literature/SinisterSixTrilogy'', ''Revenge of the Sinister Six'' sees Mary Jane giving one to the Chameleon out on his choice of location for the Day of Terror; the Sinister Six are returning to locations where Spider-Man failed to save lives, which sees the Vulture take hostages at the jewelry store where Spider-Man first publically failed to save a life, Doctor Octopus return to the place where George Stacy died, Electro [[spoiler:(really Mysterio in disguise)]] is holding the George Washington Bridge prisoner... and the Chameleon has taken a class of students prisoner at a football field where Spider-Man failed to save a scientist from a bomb. Mary Jane bluntly asks the Chameleon if this unimaginative scenario was the best he could come up with, or if he deliberately chose such an obscure example of Spider-Man's failures, and only acted when Spider-Man was publically occupied on the Bridge, because the villain knows he'd never stand a chance if he was forced to face the wall-crawler directly.

** [[ThePatriarch Tywin Lannister]] gives a particularly vicious one to his dwarf son [[TheUnfavorite Tyrion]]. This is an unusual example of this trope, because rather than telling hard truths, it is totally undeserved and reveals more about Tywin's SelectiveObliviousness than it does about Tyrion.

*** She gets another excellent one from [[spoiler: Margaery Tyrell]], when Cersei visits her in her cell, showing that she's seen through approximately 100% of of Cersei's bullshit and calling her out as a paranoid [[MyBelovedSmother Beloved Smother]] and utterly [[SmugSnake deflating]] her pretensions to {{Magnificent Bastard}}ry.

* ''Literature/{{Victoria}}'' contains an absolute behemoth of a AuthorFilibuster speech, given to a group of professors. William S. Lind may not be as bad as Ayn Rand in regards to long speeches, but he still has the tendency. For brevity's sake, here's just the end of the speech:

'''Nadd:''' Secrets! You- all of you - hide behind these secrets. You don't want us to learn them. No, that would take away your power, your place in the Force. I am a Jedi! It doesn't matter what you say. I don't need your permission.

-->'''Mrs. Reilly''': You learnt everything, Ignatius, except how to be a human being.

* ''Literature/{{Victoria}}'' contains an absolute behemoth of a FilibusterFreefall speech, given to a group of professors. William S. Lind may not be as bad as Ayn Rand in regards to long speeches, but he still has the tendency. For brevity's sake, here's just the end of the speech:

* ''Literature/{{Victoria}}'' contains an absolute behemoth of a FilibusterFreefall speech, given to a group of professors. William S. Lind may not be as bad as Ayn Rand in regards to long speeched, but he still has the tendency. For brevity's sake, here's just the end of the speech:

* Alfkaell the Aesling from C.L. Werner's TabletopGame/{{Warhammer}} novel; ''Blood for the Blood God'' gives an epic one to the Kurgan chieftains when they try to scramble to save themselves from the Skulltaker (not ''that'' Skulltaker). This is after he kills one of them for blaspheming against Khorne, also. He's so badass that they wait after he's gone before they curse him.

* In probably one of the most epic things ''anybody'' in TabletopGame/Warhammer40000 has ever done, the end of the short story ''[[Literature/HorusHeresy The Last Church]]'' sees the last Christian priest Uriah giving a stern final speech to the [[GodEmperor God Emperor]] himself, pointing out (with [[{{Foreshadowing}} what turns out to be perfect accuracy]]) his madness and hypocrisy before stating he wants no part in his plans for humanity and [[FaceDeathWithDignity walking into the burning ruins of his church]].

* Literature/ASongOfIceAndFire has many, unsurprising considering its LoadsAndLoadsOfCharacters, most of whom deserve a bollocking at some point or another due to the GambitPileup GreyAndGrayMorality setting.

** Special mention goes to ''Literature/LordsAndLadies,'' where the glamor projected by the Fair Folk is enough that it makes Magrat (who has just gotten a long-awaited boost of confidence) shrink, and wither, and feel worthless for having even ''thought'' of hurting the Fairy Queen. The Fairy Queen invokes this without a ''word.''
** Granny Weatherwax ''loves'' these. Every time she has a major part in a novel you can bet that right around the climax she'll be all up in the villain's grill telling them exactly why that thing they were so sure they were justified in doing is ''wrong'', and why the very reason they even thought it was justified in the first place is the same reason she's about to kick their ass.

-->'''Moist:''' You can't just go around killing people!\\

* In the ''Literature/PercyJackson's Greek Gods, Apollo gives one to Marsyas the satyr before skinning him.

* In the ''Literature/PercyJackson'' book ''Greek Gods'', Apollo gives one to Marsyas the satyr before skinning him.

** [[BloodKnight Sandor]] [[BeastAndBeauty "The Hound"]] [[EnsembleDarkhorse Clegane's]] unfairly numerous put-downs of [[WideEyedIdealist Sansa's]] ideas about [[KnightInShiningArmor Knights in Shining Armor]] certainly count as this trope. These speeches, though harsh and contemptuous, are actually very good advice for the CrapsackWorld they live in, and in turn she starts to see that he is correct in how terrible the world actually is, and is a big part of her character development in becoming a more learned and much less naive person.

** [[BloodKnight Sandor]] [[BeastAndBeauty "The Hound"]] [[EnsembleDarkhorse Clegane's]] numerous put-downs of [[WideEyedIdealist Sansa's]] ideas about [[KnightInShiningArmor Knights in Shining Armor]] certainly count as this trope. These speeches, though harsh and contemptuous, are actually very good advice for the CrapsackWorld they live in, and the fact that he even bothers to insult her is one of the earliest signs that she's his MoralityPet.

** Especially Ron. He gave Ron a "Reason You Suck Speech" pretty much every day when he was wearing the horcrux. Then it climaxed, into a ghostly image of Hermione not only telling him every reason he sucks, but every reason he's afraid he ''might'' suck.

* In ''Literature/{{Frankenstein}}'', after being created and abandoned, the Creature sets out to take vengeance on his creator by murdering Dr Frankenstein's younger brother(and causing a servant to be wrongfully executed for the murder), his best friend and eventually his bride. Frankenstein then pursues the Creature until he falls ill, tells a ship captain named Walton his life story, and dies. Walton then sees the Creature [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone express regret for Frankenstein's death]], and responds as follows.

* In ''{{Literature/Vampirocracy}}'', Leon drops one of these on ex-girlfriend Dierdre.

* In probably one of the most epic things ''anybody'' in TabletopGame/{{Warhammer 40000}} has ever done, the end of the short story ''[[Literature/HorusHeresy The Last Church]]'' sees the last Christian priest Uriah giving a stern final speech to the [[GodEmperor God Emperor]] himself, pointing out (with [[{{Foreshadowing}} what turns out to be perfect accuracy]]) his madness and hypocrisy before stating he wants no part in his plans for humanity and [[FaceDeathWithDignity walking into the burning ruins of his church]].