History Recap / GameOfThronesS2E4GardenOfBones

** A particularly horrible kind involving a rat and a hot bucket.[[note]]The bucket is held open-end against the chest, the bottom heated by torch, with the rat clawing through the victim's chest to avoid the heat.[[/note]] Such a torture has been used in RealLife.

** Stannis's decision to confront Renly and convince him to give up/join his brother before either of them attacks the capital is basically the cliff notes version of what happens in the novel. [[labelnote:In the books,]] it was Renly who confronted Stannis, to break his siege of Storm's End (the seat of House Baratheon and the current location of Edric Storm, Robert's only acknowledged bastard). Stannis wanted to take Storm's End both out of spite at the Baratheon lords' decision to support Renly over him and in order to use Edric to help him prove that Joffrey isn't Robert's son. Leaving all of this unmentioned does save us a lot of exposition, at least.[[/labelnote]]

It's a boat built for two, and Davos is not at ease with his passenger; Melisandre displays both fervent faith in R'hllor and BlackAndWhiteMorality, neither of which Davos (an atheist and a strong believer in relative morality) is fond of. Davos asks why they are going into a dark cave when she follows the Lord of Light. She answers that shadows come from light, not darkness, and that the brightest flames create the blackest shadows. She also seems confident in her sexuality, informing him that he wants to see what's beneath her robe. So she shows him. She is quite, quite pregnant, and she lays herself down on the beach to give birth to... some sort of... smoke-ghost-shadow-monster thing. Davos, horrified to find himself transplanted to ''Series/{{LOST}}'', looks on as the smoke-monster climbs free of Melisandre's womb and launches itself on its mission, which happens to be [[SmashToBlack right behind the camera]]. Credits roll.

* AbsenteeActor: Notably, Lena Headey (Cersei) misses her first episode; she was the only actor to appear in every episode up until now.

* YouMakeMeSic: While Davos is expositing about how Stannis removed four of his fingers as punishment for smuggling, Stannis corrects his use of "less" in place of "fewer."

* VillainousRescue: Twyin ends up doing this for ''all'' the prisoners in Harrenal, and particularly for Gendry.

And we're back at Essos! Daenerys' rather pitiful looking band arrives at the gates of '''Qarth''', and the city-state's austere-looking Guard and masters come to confront them. The Thirteen, a ruling council made up of merchants, are unwilling to welcome her into the city, despite having invited her to come, and none of Daenerys' bluster makes much impact on them... save Xaro Xhoan Daxos, a Summer Islander who decides to vouchsafe their passage with his own honor. And this is after Dany has made the grave ''faux pas'' of calling The Greatest City There Ever Was Or Will Be (TM) "Kwarth," instead of "Carth" as she ought to, so evidently this "Zaro Zohan Ducksauce" fellow sees something useful in our Targaryen barbarian. (There is an epic DeadpanSnarker and PassiveAggressiveKombat match between him and the other members of the Thirteen.)

-->'''Meryn:''' You are threatening the King!\\
'''Tyrion:''' No, I'm educating my nephew. Bronn, the next time Ser Meryn speaks, kill him. ''[to Meryn]'' See? That was a threat.

The episode begins with a scene at Oxcross in '''the Westerlands''', introducing us to [[RedShirtArmy two Lannister soldiers]], who live just long enough to [[ToiletHumour make fart jokes]], talk about one of the men's raging mancrush on Ser Loras Tyrell ("He's prettier than most women.") and to let us know that just about all of Westeros know about [[HoYay Renly and Loras's dirty little secret]] - and then as the fat soldier unlaces his breeches to take a piss, DIREWOLF. Robb Stark listens to the screams as Grey Wind rips apart the unsuspecting guards...then [[BadassArmy his men]] [[BattleCry scream for him]], and they [[FoeTossingCharge charge into battle...]]

The Lannister army has [[CurbStompBattle been crushed by the Northern army]], and we're introduced to [[TokenEvilTeammate Roose Bolton]] of the [[NamesToRunAwayFromReallyFast Dreadfort]], one of Robb's top commanders. "Five Lannisters dead for every one of ours," he says as we're treated to a whole slew of dead and dying Lannister bannermen. Lord Bolton informs the King in the North of their logistical problems; too many prisoners, and barely enough food to feed their own troops. He believes the highborn captives will be of use, "privy to Tywin Lannister's plans," but Robb thinks otherwise. Lord Bolton suggests [[FlayedAlive flaying the prisoners]]-- "A naked man has few secrets; a flayed man none," but Robb is vehement that the Southern prisoners should not be tortured, and his father "outlawed flaying in the North". Bolton returns coldly that the "High road is very pretty, but you'll have a hard time marching your army down it." Robb explains that the Lannisters hold his sisters as hostages, and he does not want to give them any excuse to abuse them. Bolton relents, with a resigned nod.

As their conversation ends we see a terribly maimed Lannister soldier being held down by a Silent Sister, as well as another healer. They struggle to restrain him as they ready themselves to amputate his gangrenous limb, much to the boy's frantic assurances that he's fine. He doesn't want to be a cripple! Robb and Roose approach, with the latter informing the girl that one of the wounded Northerners deserves such treatment more than a Lannister. She retorts that "Your men are not my men, my lord." Robb helps the healer hold the boy down, offering him a cloth to bite into as they amputate. As his foot is [[GoryDiscretionShot removed]], Robb's [[LoveAtFirstSight seemingly transfixed with the girl]] as she does her bloody work. Once it's all over, Robb speaks to the woman, who calls herself Talisa. She refuses to tell him her last name, and for what side her family fights on. She confronts him angrily about ravaging the Westerlands, and killing innocent conscripts -- the boy that they just amputated was just a fisherboy from Lannisport, who "had probably never held a spear until they shoved one in his hands a few months ago." They argue about the war and its effects: Robb states that he wants to kill Joffrey, but has no intention to take the Iron Throne. Talisa replies that he's [[TheResistance "fighting to overthrow a King]], yet you have no plan what comes after?" The Stark replies that "First we have to win the war." As Talisa leaves, Robb asks where she's from. "Volantis," is her answer. Robb thanks her for saving the boy's life, saying that he was lucky that she was here. "He was unlucky that you were," she says.

And then we return to '''King's Landing'''. Joffrey, the charming lad he is has a massive crossbow propped over his shoulder, aimed at poor Sansa Stark. "You're here to answer for your brother's latest treasons," he sneers, no doubt referring to the CurbStompBattle aftermath we'd just seen. Sansa pleads for mercy, as she had nothing to do with it. Lancel Lannister -- remember him? He was King Robert's squire and was [[KissingCousins '''with''' Queen Cersei in Season 1!]] He reports that the Northern army savaged the noble Lannister host at Oxcross, [[ImAHumanitarian feasting on the dead after the slaughter was over]], much to the horror of the ladies and nobles of the court. Joffrey ponders killing his betrothed right there and then, but "my mother insists on keeping you alive." So he just gets his loyal Kingsguard, Ser Meryn Trant to beat her up (again), ripping her dress as well (the scene in the book was worse). Just as Trant's about to bring his unsheathed sword down upon her, it's [[BigDamnHeroes Tyrion and Bronn to the rescue!]]. The halfman schools his reproachable nephew, and Bronn puts Trant in his place. Sansa's saved, but when Tyrion tries to console her she retains her [[StepfordSmiler courtly demeanor, insisting once more that she's loyal to King Joffrey, her one true love]]. Tyrion, seeing through the rather blatant guise remarks that Lady Stark might survive them yet.

While Sansa leaves, Bronn and Tyrion have a short exchange about Joffrey's rather vicious temperament. [[YouNeedToGetLaid They entertain the idea of prostitutes to soothe Joffrey.]] Tyrion seems convinced. And then we see Sandor Clegane waiting patiently for his prince. "What are you doing here, dog?" asks Joffrey. He replies that his uncle has sent him his nameday present. "And? What is it?" Joffrey asks. "Look inside, your grace." He obliges. It's Ros again, and this time with another whore of her employ. "Touch her", he commands. GirlOnGirlIsHot, after all. But this quickly turns to Squick as he gets some sadistic thrills from watching Ros spank the other girl. First with her palm, then with his belt... when it seems to get uncomfortable, Joffrey's not sated. "Harder," he snaps at Ros. And then he hands her a [[OhCrap large scepter/truncheon with the stag head of Baratheon.]] Poor Ros is visibly spooked and squicked out now, and her fellow prostitute is a quivering, sobbing mess. "Your grace... too much pain will spoil the pleasure," Ros pleads. But Joffrey's not listening. He's cranking up his crossbow. Ros then tells him that his uncle will find out...which is exactly what our little king wants. "You will bring her to his chambers and show him what you've done," Joffrey says. "Or the same thing will happen to you. Begin," he says, crossbow pointed at them. We get a ScreamDiscretionShot with Joffrey looking pretty entertained. "HARDER," he says as the scene changes.

We're back now at Renly Baratheon's camp in '''the Stormlands'''. And an unexpected guest awaits him. "If it isn't my favourite whoremonger," Renly quips as we see Littlefinger waiting outside his tent. "Pray I haven't kept you waiting for long," he says. They talk, and Renly knows all too well of Littlefinger's serving of the Lannisters. "I don't like you Lord Baelish. I don't like the words that come oozing out of your mouth. I don't want you in my tent one minute more than necessary, so tell me. Why are you here? You can trust Brienne. Her loyalty comes without charge," Renly states his intent, and his massive army... Littlefinger as usual is out for himself. "I did not come today seeking your affection. When you march on King's Landing... you may find yourself facing a protracted siege... or open gates," he says. That sly Petyr Baelish is ready to switch sides whenever, isn't he. Later, we see Littlefinger speak with Margaery Tyrell, and they have a subtle [[PassiveAggressiveKombat exchange]], with Littlefinger very aware of Margaery not sharing a tent with her betrothed, and her brother's... visits to the king's own tent. But she's not having any of his intimidation attempts, and catches Lord Baelish off guard with her already knowing of Renly and Loras' affair, and that she doesn't really seem to care. She blows him off easily.

We finally return to Daenerys Targaryen's journey in '''the Red Waste'''! Her host is ragged, parched, and tired... but her scout Kovarro returns with a new horse and gifts, from the resplendent city of Qarth. "Will they let us in?" she asks. "They said that they would be honored to receive the Mother of Dragons," he replies enthusiastically. She asks her old bear, Jorah Mormont what he knows of Qarth. "Only that the desert around their walls is called the [[TitleDrop Garden of Bones]]... every time the Qartheen shut their gates on a traveler, the garden grows..."

And we cut to Arya Stark with Hot Pie and Gendry. They approach '''Harrenhal''', and it's a foreboding, mucky looking place -- its fortifications look as if they've been weathered and sloughed off. "What kind of fire melts stone?" asks Gendry. "Dragonfire," she replies. "There's dragons here?" Hot Pie asks meekly. Gendry replies that they're all dead. The fat boy asks what the smell is. "Dead people", Arya says simply. Hot Pie quails and a Lannister guardsman shoves them to the side. We see listless prisoners watching as [[ScreamDiscretionShot people are tortured]] [[GoryDiscretionShot horribly]]... one of the prisoners, an old lady remarks dully of the deaths of all of her family in the days past... the screams they heard just then were her son's. "They take someone every day," Gendry says. It's pissing rain in the next scene, and the roughed up prisoners are attempting to sleep. Arya whispers a long series of names... Joffrey, Cersei, Ilyn Payne to name a few. Just like Yoren did, as we learned in the last episode.

We're back in '''the Stormlands''', and Catelyn Stark receives Littlefinger. And boy, does she not look happy. She knows how he betrayed her husband in the throne room, resulting in his death. "How dare you," and Littlefinger attempts to justify his actions. "You betrayed Ned," she says. "I trusted you. My husband trusted you. And you repaid our faith with treachery," Littlefinger tries to appeal to her, and it's clear he still has the hots for her. In his opinion, they're StarCrossedLovers: "I've loved you since I was a boy! It seems to me that fate has given us this chance t--" he's cut short as Catelyn pulls a knife on him, advancing upon him with an iron look in her eyes. She screams at him to get out. "Do you want to see your girls again? Sansa, more beautiful than ever? And Arya, just as wild as ever?" Littlefinger says. "You have Arya too?" Catelyn says, exasperated. "Both girls, healthy and safe. For now. But you know the queen. And you know Joffrey. I fear for their longevity if they remain in the capital." Catelyn drops her blade, quivering as she relents. "What do you want?" Littlefinger states the Lannister intent to trade Jaime Lannister for the Stark girls, but Catelyn's already aware of that. "You think Robb will agree to those terms?!" she says. But Littlefinger says he's not bringing the terms to Robb, he's bringing the terms to her. On Catelyn's angry retort that she does not keep secrets from her son, Baelish asks her to reconsider as [[TheStrategist Robb's skill on the field]] may not give her another chance. He presents Tyrion Lannister's gift of good faith... Catelyn turns, freezes... asks what he's brought. As she approaches she knows all too well: it's the bones of her late husband. She allows herself a faint smile, tears brimming in her eyes before commanding him to leave.

We return to '''Harrenhal''', and Arya's awoken by the angry shouts of Lannister soldiers. They're "questioning" prisoners now. The Mountain, the hulk of a man runs an eye over the prisoners personally. They pick a random boy... and proceed to question him. We see Hot Pie's breeches expanding rapidly as he watches. They tie him down, place a bucket over his chest with a rat inside while moving a torch ever closer to it. "Where is the brotherhood?" one of them asks. The frightened prisoner repeats that he doesn't know, and the exchange continues until the rat begins digging into his chest and he gives in. "You've been very helpful," says the questioner, and they leave the torch to burn away the bucket as the frightened rat tears into the poor guy. We get another ScreamDiscretionShot. It cuts to Arya sleeping again still reciting her list of people, and when she watches the same old woman feebly request one of the Lannisters, "Polliver" for bread, he brutally silences her. So Arya adds Polliver and the Mountain's names to her ever-growing list...

And again we're at '''the Stormlands''', and the brothers Renly and Stannis Baratheon treat, with Catelyn Stark in tow. Renly shows his DeadpanSnarker side as he barrages his brother, who has arrived with his fire priestess Melisandre and Davos Seaworth. "You should kneel before your brother," Melisandre says. "He's the [[MessianicArchetype Lord's chosen]]. Born amidst salt and smoke," Renly replies: "Born amidst salt and smoke... is he a ham?" and Stannis continues to be unimpressed and irritated. Catelyn Stark attempts to remind them that they've a common enemy and are brothers, and Stannis confronts her for approaching Renly when Ned Stark supported his own claim. "The Iron Throne is mine, by right. All those that deny that are my foes," Stannis says. But Renly is adamant that the "whole realm denies it," from Dorne to the Wall, and from the death rattles of old men and unborn children. "No one wants you for their king," Renly says. Stannis offers his brother one last night to submit. "Strike your banners, come to me before dawn and I will grant you your old seat in the council. I'll even name you my heir. Until a son is born to me. Otherwise I shall destroy you," Renly doesn't look afraid. He reminds him of the hundred thousand strong army behind him, the combined force of the Stormlands' houses loyal to him and the massive conglomeration of the Reach. "We shall see Renly. come the dawn, we shall see," is Stannis' reply. Melisandre tells Renly Baratheon to "Look to your sins, Lord Renly. The night is dark and full of terrors," and Stannis' contingent leaves. "Can you believe I loved him once?" says Renly.

And we're back at Essos! Daenerys' rather pitiful looking band arrives at the gates of '''Qarth''', and the city-state's austere-looking Guard and masters come to confront them. The Thirteen, a ruling council made up of merchants, are unwilling to welcome her into the city, despite having invited her to come, and none of Daenerys' bluster makes much impact on them... save Xaro Xhoan Daxos, a Summer Islander who decides to vouchsafe their passage with his own honor. And this is after Dany has made the grave ''faux pas'' of calling The Greatest City There Ever Was Or Will Be (TM) "Kwarth," instead of "Carth" as it ought to, so evidently this "Zaro Zohan Ducksauce" fellow sees something useful in our Targaryen barbarian. (There is an epic DeadpanSnarker and PassiveAggressiveKombat match between him and the other members of the Thirteen.)

Over in '''Harrenhal''', Gendry has been selected for tickling. His savior is the least-likely person imaginable: Lord Tywin Lannister, who rides in and immediately demands why The Mountain is wasting a labor pool. He also notices on first glance that "Arry" is actually a girl. He requisitions her to be his cupbearer and releases the rest of The Mountain's prisoners. Lord Tywin, not typically known for his sense of humor, is able to get in a few DeadpanSnarker moments of his own; he seems to consider himself SurroundedByIdiots and is not afraid to show it. It pays to be the richest man in the Seven Kingdoms, one supposes.

In '''King's Landing''', Tyrion is paid a late-night visit by his cousin, Lancel "More Wine Your Grace" Lannister. He's been knighted since Robert Baratheon's death, possibly for being brave enough to fuck Cersei, and the confidence from in the sword in his hand ''and'' the sword twixt his legs has made him rather big for his britches. Tyrion [[CurbStompBattle plays him like a harp]], getting him into the room with a cup of wine and then asking just how Lord Tywin's orders to Lancel, to obey the queen in everything, somehow transmuted into his becoming her bedwarmer. And what's going to happen when Joffrey finds out? Lancel crumbles, and Tyrion converts him into a spy, leaving him positioned under the queen for that purpose. Lancel is ushered out of Tyrion's chambers looking shell-shocked.

* AbsenteeActor: Notably, Lena Headey (Cersei) misses her first episode, the final actor not to appear in every episode.

--> ''"Bronn, the next time Ser Meryn speaks, kill him."''

* BringMyBrownPants: Hot Pie wets himself when he realises that nothing the prisoners do makes any difference, and it is in fact totally random who gets picked.

-->'''Renly:''' I don't like you, Lord Baelish. I don't like your face, I don't like the words that come oozing out of your mouth. I don't want you in my tent one minute more than necessary.

** A particularly horrible kind involving a rat and a hot bucket.[[note]]The bucket is held open-end against the chest, the bottom heated by torch, with the rat clawing through the victim's chest to avoid the heat[[/note]] Such a torture has been used in RealLife.

--> "In my family we say: A naked man has few secrets. A flayed man? None."

** We hear for the fisrt time about the mysterious brotherhood. Gendry's rather exasperated response is "I don't know what that is!"

** Subverted. At first, a nightshot of Grey Wind lunging at a Lannister soldier is cut inmediately to Robb before fading to black - before cutting to broad daylight and show the same Lannister soldier torn open.

* {{Irony}}: Tywin arrives at Harrenhal just in time to save the two people the Lannisters seriously want dead or at least under their control - the last Baratheon bastard (Gendry) and missing Stark daughter (Arya). [[note]] Literally just in time as Gendry was about to be tortured to death and Arya had caught the soldier's eye. [[/note]] He even specifically singles the pair out as useful and smart prisoners to keep around.

** Joffrey has Sansa stripped and beaten in payback for Robb's latest victory, then after his uncle stops his fun forces Ros to savagely beat another prostitute and orders them to report to Tyrion afterwards to let them know what he's done.
** The Mountain and his men torturing villagers was already bad enough in the books. In the show, unlike the books, Gendry, Hot Pie, and Arya were captured with Yoren - nowhere near the village they were asking about - so the Lannister torture is just pure ForTheEvulz Dog Kickery.
* LivingShadow: Melisandre's shadow child appears to be able to take a smoky three dimensional form rather than being projected onto the wall, but it otherwise fits.

* NobleDemon: Not only is Tyron (by far) the most sympathetic of the Lannisters, he seems to be the only one who can actually keep Joffrey in check. At least for the moment.
* OffscreenMomentOfAwesome: Robb's victory over Stafford Lannister in the Battle of Oxcross: Grey Wind attacks a pair of sentries, there's a few shouts of "The King in the North!" over black (a sample of the Greatjon Umber's proclamation and the answer of a chorus of Northmen from "Fire and Blood"), and then it's suddenly the morning as Robb tours the battlefield and Roose Bolton informs him of their overwhelming victory. It's far more onscreen than the books, where we never get to see ANYTHING off it---only hear the after action reports being delivered to the Lannisters.

* PassiveAggressiveKombat: Daenerys' confrontation with the Thirteen of Qarth has a lot of this. They're rather better at it than she is.

* ScreamingBirth: Melisandre gives one which [[DoesThisRemindYouOfAnything sound like screams of pleasure,]] possibly justified by the baby being some magical HumanoidAbomination LivingShadow thing rather than an actual baby.

* WarIsHell: The above-mentioned Punch-Clock Villains as well as Robb's conversation with Talisa carries a very heavy air of this trope.

* YouMakeMeSic: While Davos is expositing about how Stannis removed four of his fingers as punishment for smuggling, Stannis corrects his use of "less" in place of "fewer".

* AdaptationExpansion: Robb's romance is portrayed in detail and expanded, while in the book series it's described second-hand, after the fact, in a few sentences.

And then we return to '''King's Landing'''. Joffrey, the charming lad he is has a massive crossbow propped over his shoulder, aimed at poor Sansa Stark. "You're here to answer for your brother's latest treasons," he sneers, no doubt referring to the CurbStompBattle aftermath we'd just seen. Sansa pleads for mercy, as she had nothing to do with it. Lancel Lannister -- remember him? He was King Robert's squire and was [[KissingCousins '''with''' Queen Cersei in Season 1!]] He reports that the Northern army savaged the noble Lannister host at Oxcross, [[ImAHumanitarian feasting on the dead after the slaughter was over]], much to the horror of the ladies and nobles of the court. Joffrey ponders killing his betrothed right there and then, but "my mother insists on keeping you alive." So he just gets his loyal Kingsguard, Ser Meryn Trant to beat her up (again), ripping her dress as well (the scene in the book was worse). Just as Trant's about to bring his unsheathed sword down upon her, it's [[BigDamnHeroes Tyrion and Bronn to the rescue!]]. [[CrowningMomentOfAwesome The halfman schools his reproachable nephew, and Bronn puts Trant in his place]]. Sansa's saved, but when Tyrion tries to console her she retains her [[StepfordSmiler courtly demeanor, insisting once more that she's loyal to King Joffrey, her one true love]]. Tyrion, seeing through the rather blatant guise remarks that Lady Stark might survive them yet.

-->'''Tyrion:''' Lavender oil. She always loved lavender oil.

** Margaery and Littlefinger's entire exchange in the camp. Both of them are overflowing with genteel courtesy, while he needles her about her new husband's [[TransparentCloset: proclivities]] and she mocks him for his romantic failures while making entirely clear where her loyalties lie.

* {{Irony}}: Tywin arrives at Harrenhal just in time to save the two people the Lannister's ''seriously'' want dead - the last Baratheon bastard (Gendry) and missing Stark daughter (Arya). (Literally just in time as Gendry was about to be tortured to death and Arya had caught the soldier's eye). He even specifically singles the pair out as useful and smart prisoners to keep around.

* {{Irony}}: Tywin arrives at Harrenhal just in time to save two people the Lannister's ''seriously'' want dead - the last Baratheon bastard (Gendry) and missing Stark daughter (Arya). Then he specifically singles the pair out as useful and smart prisoners to keep around.

And we cut to Arya Stark with Hot Pie and Gendry. They approach '''Harrenhal''', and it's a foreboding, mucky looking place -- its fortifications look as if they've been weathered and sloughed off. "What kind of fire melts stone?" asks Gendry. "Dragonfire," she replies. "There's dragons here?" Hot Pie asks meekly. Gendry replies that they're all dead. The fat boy asks what the smell is. "Dead people", Arya says simply. Hot Pie quails and a Lannister guardsman shoves them to the side. We see listless prisoners watching as [[ScreamDiscretionShot people are tortured]] [[GoryDiscretionShot horribly]]... one of the prisoners, an old lady remarks dully of the deaths of all of her family in the days past... the screams they heard just then were her son's. "They take someone every day," Gendry says. It's pissing rain in the next scene, and the roughed up prisoners are attempting to sleep. Arya whispers a long series of names... Joffrey, Cersei, Ilyn Payne to name a few. Just like [[BadAss Yoren]] did, as we learned in the last episode.

We return to '''Harrenhal''', and Arya's awoken by the angry shouts of Lannister soldiers. They're "questioning" prisoners now. The Mountain, the hulk of a man runs an eye over the prisoners personally. They pick a random boy... and proceed to question him. We see Hot Pie's breeches expanding rapidly as he watches. They tie him down, place a bucket over his chest with a rat inside while moving a torch ever closer to it. "Where is the brotherhood?" one of them asks. The frightened prisoner repeats that he doesn't know, and the exchange continues until the rat begins digging into his chest and he gives in. "You've been very helpful," says the questioner, and they leave the torch to burn away the bucket as the frightened rat tears into the poor guy. We get another ScreamDiscretionShot. It cuts to Arya sleeping again still reciting her list of people, and when she watches the same old woman feebly request one of the Lannisters -- "Polliver" for bread, he brutally silences her. So Arya adds Polliver and the Mountain's names to her ever-growing list...

For our last scene we find ourselves somewhere in '''the Stormlands''', aboard a Baratheon ship: it's got a stag figurehead at the prow, and it's also got Ser Davos and King Stannis aboard. Stannis asks about the little leather pouch the Onion Knight wears at his neck, and is surprised to discver that it has the remains of Davos's fingers, which Stannis chopped off. Davos keeps them for luck, and to remind himself that all that he is--smuggler and knight both--he owes to Stannis. Stannis charges him to return to his smuggler ways: he needs to bring Melisandre, the red priestess, into Shipbreaker Bay.

It's a boat built for two, and Davos is not at ease with his passenger; Melisandre displays both fervent faith in R'hllor and BlackAndWhiteMorality, neither of which Davos (an atheist and a strong believer in relative morality) is fond of. Davoes asks why they are going into a dark cave when she follows the Lord of Light. She answers that shadows come from light, not darkness, and that the brightest flames create the blackest shadows. She also seems confident in her sexuality, informing him that he wants to see what's beneath her robe. So she shows him. She is quite, quite pregnant, and she lays herself down on the beach to give birth to... some sort of... smoke-ghost-shadow-monster thing. Davos, horrified to find himself transplanted to ''Series/{{LOST}}'', looks on as the smoke-monster climbs free of Melisandre's womb and launches itself on its mission, which happens to be [[SmashToBlack right behind the camera]]. Credits roll.

For our last scene we find ourselves somewhere in '''the stormlands''', aboard a Baratheon ship: it's got a stag figurehead at the prow, and it's also got Ser Davos and King Stannis aboard. Stannis asks about the little leather pouch the Onion Knight wears at his neck, and is surprised to discver that it has the remains of Davos's fingers, which Stannis chopped off. Davos keeps them for luck, and to remind himself that all that he is--smuggler and knight both--he owes to Stannis. Stannis charges him to return to his smuggler ways: he needs to bring Melisandre, the red priestess, into Shipbreaker Bay.

* AdaptationalBadass: Xaro Xhoan Daxos: From the AmbiguouslyGay effeminate merchant prince to a sword-wielding merchant prince. Perhaps he'll have better luck with [[spoiler: his entreaties to Daenerys to marry him.]]
* AdaptationDistillation: In the books, Arya was just a serving girl under Tywin, and became cupbearer to Roose Bolton after Bolton had taken over Harrenhal. In this version, she becomes Tywin's cupbearer.
** Also, the torture scenes in the book take place somewhere in the woods before the entire party moves to Harrenhal. Once at Harrenhal, little torture takes place.

* ArmorPiercingQuestion: Talisa the battlefield nurse asks Robb [[AndThenWhat what he's planning to do]] ''[[AndThenWhat after]]'' [[AndThenWhat deposing Joffrey]]. The fact that he hasn't looked that far ahead clearly rattles him, as does her pointing out that his lack of personal hatred for most of the people who fight against him in his campaign doesn't actually help them when they're maimed and killed.

--> "Bronn, the next time Ser Meryn speaks, kill him."

* BlatantLies: Lancel's account of Robb's victory (that he used sorcery, turned his army into wolves and ate the corpses) is clearly rubbish, but it's unclear whether the horrified-looking courtiers actually believe it or are merely playing along. Likewise Sansa claiming Joffrey is her OneTrueLove moments after being threatened by death, then stripped and beaten on his orders.
** Littlefinger claims that Arya is hostage along with Sansa, and tries to convince Catelyn that reports of his backstabbing Ned were greatly exaggerated.

-->'''Renly''': I don't like you, Lord Baelish. I don't like your face, I don't like the words that come oozing out of your mouth. I don't want you in my tent one minute more than necessary.

** A particularly horrible kind involving a rat and a hot bucket.[[note]]The bucket is held open-end against the chest, the bottom heated by torch, with the rat clawing through the victim's chest to avoid the heat[[/note]] Such a torture [[TruthInTelevision has been used in]] RealLife.
** [[TheCaligula Joffrey's]] sadistic pleasure with the prostitutes quickly turns from erotic spanking into this.

-->'''Renly''': Well, if it isn't my favourite whoremonger! Pray I haven't kept you waiting long.

** The way the erotic spanking of Joffrey's prostitutes quickly turns into a NoHoldsBarredBeatdown with a heavy, spiky stick also counts.

* {{Foreshadowing}}: [[spoiler:Where is The Brotherhood? Also, Gendry's rather exasperated response, "I don't know what that is!"]]
** [[spoiler:"Look to your sins, Lord Renly. The night is dark and full of ''terrors.''" Melisandre certainly wasn't joking about the last part.]]

* OffscreenMomentOfAwesome: Robb's victory over Stafford Lannister in the Battle of Oxcross: Grey Wind attacks a pair of sentries, there's a few shouts of "The King in the North!" over black (a sample of the Greatjon Umber's proclamation and the answer of a chorus of Northmen from "Fire and Blood"), and then it's suddenly the morning as Robb tours the battlefield and Roose Bolton informs him of their overwhelming victory.
** Mind you, it's far more onscreen than the books, where we never get to see ANYTHING off it---only hear the after action reports being delivered to the Lannisters.
* OpenSecret[=/=]QueerPeopleAreFunny: The rumours surrounding Renly and Loras are so widespread that even common soliders on the other side of the country mock their homosexuality.

* SamusIsAGirl: "Arry," to everyone's surprise except Gendry's.

--> '''Renly''': You can trust Brienne. Her loyalty comes without charge.