History Recap / FamilyGuy8E7JeromeIsTheNewBlack

Peter, Joe, and Quagmire are still sad about [[WesternAnimation/TheClevelandShow Cleveland leaving for Virginia]], and decide to find a new friend to fill the void Cleveland left...and meet Jerome, a cool black guy who turns out to be one of Lois' hook-ups from her days as a promiscuous party girl. Meanwhile, Brian is hurt to find that Quagmire doesn't like him and tries to be his friend, only to learn why Quagmire hates him in a now-infamous speech.

--> '''Quagmire:''' Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it!

-->'''Quagmire''': Ok, I'll tell ya. You are the worst person I know. [[Recap/FamilyGuyS2E4BrianInLove You constantly hit on]] [[Recap/FamilyGuyS6E10PlayItAgainBrian your best friend's wife]]. The man pays for your food and [[Recap/FamilyGuyS1E7BrianPortraitOfADog rescued you from certain death]] and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, [[Recap/FamilyGuyS5E13BillAndPetersBogusJourney you defecate all over his yard.]] ''(getting angrier)'' And you're such a sponge. [[Recap/FamilyGuyS1E7BrianPortraitOfADog You pay for nothing.]] You always say, [[Recap/FamilyGuyS4E20PatriotGames "Ooh, I'll get you later,"]] but later never comes. And what really bothers me is you pretend that you're this deep guy that loves women for their souls, [[Recap/FamilyGuyS2E5WhistleWhileYourWifeWorks when all you do is date bimbos]]. [[AtLeastIAdmitIt Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it.]] I don't buy them a copy of ''Literature/TheCatcherInTheRye'' and then lecture them with some seventh-grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield is a profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a ''spoiled brat!'' And that's why you like him so much: he's ''you!'' ''God'', you're pretentious! ''(brimming with indignation)'' And you ''delude'' yourself by [[Recap/FamilyGuy4E7BrianTheBachelor thinking you're a great writer]], even though you're terrible! You know, I shoulda known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note; she woulda known there's no "A" in the word "definite!" And what I think I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda: how we should ''(mockingly)'' "[[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E12Episode420 Legalize Pot, man]]," how [[Recap/FamilyGuyS5E3HellComesToQuahog big business is crushing the underclass]]; how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America! Well what have ''you'' done to help?! I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian! Never seen ''you'' down there! You wanna help? ''Grab a ladle!'' And by the way, [[Recap/FamilyGuyS4E1NorthByNorthQuahog driving a Prius]] doesn't make you Jesus Christ! Oh, wait! [[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E1LoveBlactually You don't]] ''[[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E1LoveBlactually believe]]'' [[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E1LoveBlactually in Jesus Christ]], [[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E11NotAllDogsGoToHeaven or]] ''[[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E11NotAllDogsGoToHeaven any]]'' [[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E11NotAllDogsGoToHeaven religion, for that matter]], because ''(mockingly)'' "religion is for idiots!" Well, who the hell are ''you'' to talk down to anyone?! [[Recap/FamilyGuyS2E19TheStoryOnPageOne You failed college]] ''[[Recap/FamilyGuyS4E15BrianGoesBackToCollege twice]]'', which isn't ''nearly'' as bad as [[Recap/FamilyGuyS6E11TheFormerLifeOfBrian your failure as a father]] -- how's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that... all of it... if you weren't such a ''bore.'' That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic '''''bore!''''' ''(sigh)'' ...[[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Well, see ya, Brian. Thanks for the fucking steak.]]
* SeriesContinuityError: This episode features possibly the first instance of the series believing that Brian abandoned his biological son Dylan when in actuality the latter chose to leave Brian on his own account in order to take care of his mother/Brian's ex-girlfriend. Though Quagmire specifically called out how Brian never once visited his son after that. And later episodes showed he actively avoid contacting Dylan.
* ShoutOut: Statler is featured in this episode saying how without Waldorf The Muppet Show is pretty good. A reference to their constant put-down of the show.
** Peter refers to The D.C. sniper attacks that took place in 2002. The mastermind, John Allen Muhammad was executed on November 10th 2009, 12 days before the episode aired.

* KnowNothingKnowItAll: Quagmire rightfully points out how Brian deludes himself into thinking he's a deep, intellectual guy with amazing writing skills, when he's really a pretentious idiot who's failed college twice and can't even spell the word "definite."

* ArousedByIdiocy: [[DiscussedTrope Discussed]]; Quagmire claims that Brian only dates bimbos despite claiming to loke women for their minds.

* SurprisinglyRealisticOutcome: One of the cutaways parodies an old advertising campaign for York Peppermint Patties, showing a man being teleported to the top of a mountain after biting into one. A TimeSkip reveals that he was trapped on the mountain for 2 months, and never got out of there. To add insult to injury, the only food he has (the rest of the patty) keeps sending him back to the top. As he is writing a farewell letter to his family, another man is transported to the mountaintop after having bitten into a patty himself, and the first man knocks him out and begins eating him.

-->'''Quagmire:''' Well, see you, Brian. Thanks for the fucking steak.[[note]]bleeped out on TV, but not on DVD[[/note]]

-->'''Quagmire''': Ok, I'll tell ya. You are the worst person I know. [[Recap/FamilyGuyS2E4BrianInLove You constantly hit on]] [[Recap/FamilyGuyS6E10PlayItAgainBrian your best friend's wife]]. The man pays for your food and [[Recap/FamilyGuyS1E7BrianPortraitOfADog rescued you from certain death]] and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, [[Recap/FamilyGuyS5E13BillAndPetersBogusJourney you defecate all over his yard.]] (getting angrier) And you're such a sponge. [[Recap/FamilyGuyS1E7BrianPortraitOfADog You pay for nothing.]] You always say, [[Recap/FamilyGuyS4E20PatriotGames "Ooh, I'll get you later,"]] but later never comes! And what really bothers me is you pretend that you're this deep guy that loves women for their souls, [[Recap/FamilyGuyS2E5WhistleWhileYourWifeWorks when all you do is date bimbos]]. [[AtLeastIAdmitIt Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it!]] I don't buy them a copy of ''Literature/TheCatcherInTheRye'' and then lecture them with some seventh-grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield is a profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a ''spoiled brat!'' And that's why you like him so much: he's ''you!'' ''God'', you're pretentious! (brimming with indignation) And you ''delude'' yourself by [[Recap/FamilyGuy4E7BrianTheBachelor thinking you're a great writer]], even though you're terrible! You know, I shoulda known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She woulda known there's no "A" in the word "definite!" And what I think I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda. How we should (mockingly) "[[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E12Episode420 Legalize Pot, man]]," how [[Recap/FamilyGuyS5E3HellComesToQuahog big business is crushing the underclass]]; how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America! Well what have ''you'' done to help?! I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian! Never seen ''you'' down there! You wanna help? ''Grab a ladle!'' And by the way, [[Recap/FamilyGuyS4E1NorthByNorthQuahog driving a Prius]] doesn't make you Jesus Christ! Oh, wait! [[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E1LoveBlactually You don't]] ''[[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E1LoveBlactually believe]]'' [[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E1LoveBlactually in Jesus Christ]], [[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E11NotAllDogsGoToHeaven or]] ''[[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E11NotAllDogsGoToHeaven any]]'' [[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E11NotAllDogsGoToHeaven religion, for that matter]], because (mockingly) "religion is for idiots!" Well, who the hell are ''you'' to talk down to anyone?! [[Recap/FamilyGuyS2E19TheStoryOnPageOne You failed college]] ''[[Recap/FamilyGuyS4E15BrianGoesBackToCollege twice]]'', which isn't ''nearly'' as bad as [[Recap/FamilyGuyS6E11TheFormerLifeOfBrian your failure as a father]] -- how's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that... all of it... if you weren't such a ''bore!'' That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic '''''bore!''''' ''Sigh...'' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Well, see ya, Brian. Thanks for the fucking steak.]]

-->'''Quagmire''': Ok, I'll tell ya. You are the worst person I know. [[Recap/FamilyGuyS2E4BrianInLove You constantly hit on]] [[Recap/FamilyGuyS6E10PlayItAgainBrian your best friend's wife]]. The man pays for your food and [[Recap/FamilyGuyS1E7BrianPortraitOfADog rescued you from certain death]] and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, [[Recap/FamilyGuyS5E13BillAndPetersBogusJourney you defecate all over his yard.]] (getting angrier) And you're such a sponge. [[Recap/FamilyGuyS1E7BrianPortraitOfADog You pay for nothing.]] You always say, [[Recap/FamilyGuyS4E20PatriotGames "Ooh, I'll get you later,"]] but later never comes! And what really bothers me is you pretend that you're this deep guy that loves women for their souls, [[Recap/FamilyGuyS2E5WhistleWhileYourWifeWorks but all you do is date bimbos]]. [[AtLeastIAdmitIt Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it!]] I don't buy them a copy of ''Literature/TheCatcherInTheRye'' and then lecture them with some seventh-grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield is a profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a ''spoiled brat!'' And that's why you like him so much: he's ''you!'' ''God'', you're pretentious! (brimming with indignation) And you ''delude'' yourself by [[Recap/FamilyGuy4E7BrianTheBachelor thinking you're a great writer]], even though you're terrible! You know, I shoulda known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She woulda known there's no "A" in the word "definite!" And what I think I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda. How we should (mockingly) "[[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E12Episode420 Legalize Pot, man]]," how [[Recap/FamilyGuyS5E3HellComesToQuahog big business is crushing the underclass]]; how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America! Well what have ''you'' done to help?! I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian! Never seen ''you'' down there! You wanna help? ''Grab a ladle!'' And by the way, [[Recap/FamilyGuyS4E1NorthByNorthQuahog driving a Prius]] doesn't make you Jesus Christ! Oh, wait! [[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E1LoveBlactually You don't]] ''[[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E1LoveBlactually believe]]'' [[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E1LoveBlactually in Jesus Christ]], [[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E11NotAllDogsGoToHeaven or]] ''[[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E11NotAllDogsGoToHeaven any]]'' [[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E11NotAllDogsGoToHeaven religion, for that matter]], because (mockingly) "religion is for idiots!" Well, who the hell are ''you'' to talk down to anyone?! [[Recap/FamilyGuyS2E19TheStoryOnPageOne You failed college]] ''[[Recap/FamilyGuyS4E15BrianGoesBackToCollege twice]]'', which isn't ''nearly'' as bad as [[Recap/FamilyGuyS6E11TheFormerLifeOfBrian your failure as a father]] -- how's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that... all of it... if you weren't such a ''bore!'' That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic '''''bore!''''' ''Sigh...'' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Well, see ya, Brian. Thanks for the fucking steak.]]

-->'''Quagmire''': Ok, I'll tell ya. You are the worst person I know. [[Recap/FamilyGuyS2E4BrianInLove You constantly hit on]] [[Recap/FamilyGuyS6E10PlayItAgainBrian your best friend's wife]]. The man pays for your food and [[Recap/FamilyGuyS1E7BrianPortraitOfADog rescued you from certain death]] and this is how you repay him? And to add insult to injury, [[Recap/FamilyGuyS5E13BillAndPetersBogusJourney you defecate all over his yard.]] (getting angrier) And you're such a sponge. [[Recap/FamilyGuyS1E7BrianPortraitOfADog You pay for nothing.]] You always say, [[Recap/FamilyGuyS4E20PatriotGames "Ooh, I'll get you later,"]] but later never comes! And what really bothers me is you pretend that you're this deep guy that loves women for their souls, [[Recap/FamilyGuyS2E5WhistleWhileYourWifeWorks but all you do is date bimbos]]. [[AtLeastIAdmitIt Yeah, I date women for their bodies, but at least I'm honest about it!]] I don't buy them a copy of ''Literature/TheCatcherInTheRye'' and then lecture them with some seventh-grade interpretation about how Holden Caulfield is a profound intellectual. He wasn't! He was a ''spoiled brat!'' And that's why you like him so much: he's ''you!'' ''God'', you're pretentious! (brimming with indignation) And you ''delude'' yourself by [[Recap/FamilyGuy4E7BrianTheBachelor thinking you're a great writer]], even though you're terrible! You know, I shoulda known Cheryl Tiegs didn't write me that note. She woulda known there's no "A" in the word "definite!" And what I think I hate most about you is your textbook liberal agenda. How we should (mockingly) "[[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E12Episode420 Legalize Pot, man]]," how [[Recap/FamilyGuyS5E3HellComesToQuahog big business is crushing the underclass]]; how homelessness is the biggest tragedy in America! Well what have ''you'' done to help?! I work down at the soup kitchen, Brian! Never seen ''you'' down there! You wanna help? ''Grab a ladle!'' And by the way, [[Recap/FamilyGuyS4E1NorthByNorthQuahog driving a Prius]] doesn't make you Jesus Christ! Oh, wait! [[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E1LoveBlactually You don't]] ''[[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E1LoveBlactually believe]]'' [[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E1LoveBlactually in Jesus Christ]], [[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E11NotAllDogsGoToHeaven or]] ''[[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E11NotAllDogsGoToHeaven any]]'' [[Recap/FamilyGuyS7E11NotAllDogsGoToHeaven religion, for that matter]], because (mockingly) "religion is for idiots!" Well, who the hell are ''you'' to talk down to anyone?! [[Recap/FamilyGuyS2E19TheStoryOnPageOne You failed college]] ''[[Recap/FamilyGuyS4E15BrianGoesBackToCollege twice]]'', which isn't nearly as bad as ''[[Recap/FamilyGuyS6E11TheFormerLifeOfBrian your failure as a father]] -- how's that son of yours you never see? But you know what? I could forgive all of that... all of it... if you weren't such a ''bore!'' That's the worst of it, Brian. You're just a big, sad, alcoholic '''''bore!''''' ''Sigh...'' [[ScrewThisImOuttaHere Well, see ya, Brian. Thanks for the fucking steak.]]