History Radio / ImSorryIHaventAClue

** ''Quote... Unquote'' is one of the show's recurring targets, which frequent jokes about how unfunny it is.

** "A judication, Humph?" said by Barry, whenever an argument about the rules of Mornington Crescent cropped up.

The chairman gives one of the panellists a song which they must sing [[Radio/JustAMinute without hesitation, repetition or deviation]]. (The songs are always picked to make this as ridiculously difficult as possible.) Other panellists may challenge at any time if they detect hesitation, repetition or deviation, and if the chairman judges that their challenge is correct, they take over from the point where the previous singer left off. Takes its inspiration, rather obviously, from ''Radio/JustAMinute'' -- Jack has taken to chairing the game using a caricature of Nicholas Parsons' energetic, enthusiastic speaking style. Still played occassionally, often as a substitute to Swanee-Kazoo.

Also known as ''New Definitions''.The panellists say a word, then give a definition of the word, usually by breaking it down into smaller words or making a pun on an already-existing word. (Such as "Impolite: [[hottip:*:Imp alight]] To set fire to a pixie.") Barry will occassionally say a word and define it as how SeanConnery would pronounce something. ("Pastiche: [[hottip:*:pasties]] What Shean Connery eatsh in Cornwall.") Basically, HurricaneOfPuns at its maximum. Still played.

-->'''Barry:''' I give it three weeks.

* TheComplainerIsAlwaysWrong: IIRC, in one episode, Barry buzzed in to ask if an action wasn't in complete violation of the rules. Humph removed some of his marks for not knowing the rules, and Barry buzzed in again, stating that he knew the rules ''now'' and could he have his marks back please. Humph gave them back, but removed them again for interrupting.

The chairman reads the beginning of a quote, and one of the panellist finishes it in a humorous fashion. Quotes are generally taken from all manner of things -- songs, poems, interviews, classics, opening lines, and so forth. Still frequently played.

The chairman says a famous historical event, and invites the players to come up with headlines. This round typically plays on the different viewpoints of different newspapers -- running gags include ''the Sport'', with its focus on supernatural events and sightings of Elvis, ''the Daily Mail'', with its obsession with house prices, and ''the Evening Standard'', with its concentration on London-centric news. [[RunningGag Inevitably]], Graeme will do a "''The Guardian'' corrections and clarifications" joke, which poke fun at the ''Guardian'''s reputation for bad spelling by replacing a misspelled headline with an equally misspelled headline. (E.g. "Yesterday's headline 'bishops tickle Darwin's monkey theory' should have read 'bishops ''tackle'' Darwin's donkey, Terry'.") The last time it showed up was in 2008.

The panellists name movies, songs, books and so on that didn't quite work, always puns on some existing work. (''[[TalesOfTheUnexpected Tales of the Expected]]'', ''[[DeathInVenice Deaf In Venice]]'', ''[[ShakespeareInLove Shakespeare In Hove]]'', et cetera.) Last popped up in 2005.

Panellists sing songs in the style of a famous personality, drawing on accent imitation and impersonations for the humor. Still played occassionally.

The panellists say a word, then give a definition of the word, usually by breaking it down into smaller words or making a pun on an already-existing word. (Such as "Impolite: [[hottip:*:Imp alight]] To set fire to a pixie.") Barry will occassionally say a word and define it as how SeanConnery would pronounce something. ("Pastiche: [[hottip:*:pasties]] What Shean Connery eatsh in Cornwall.") Basically, HurricaneOfPuns at its maximum. Still played.

** When Sven's standing in for Samantha as scorekeeper, the subtext is usually just plain text. ("Well, from the big hand sweeping around my little ticker...I see that Sven's up to his old tricks again.")

* OffTheRails: Where any game of Mornington Crescent is likely to go ([[AWorldWidePunomenon even though, technically, they never leave the rails]]).
-->'''Humph:''' [[SarcasmMode Don't you just love being in control.]]

The panellists combine the names of films to make puns. Really, that's it. Puns can be literal (such as ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Half_a_Sixpence_(film) HalfASixpence]]'', ''TheDirtyDozen'' and ''TheExorcist'' being combined to make ''Half A Dozen Eggs''). The meaning of the title can be used rather than the words. (Such as ''AlloAllo'', ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Boom!_(1968_film) Boom]]'' and ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Farewell,_My_Lovely_(1944_film) Farewell My Lovely]]'' combining to make ''A Short, Meaningless Relationship''. Or ''LordOfTheFlies'' and ''FlashGordon'' combining to make ''Would You Mind Accompanying Me To The Station''?) Then there are the truly ''magnificient'' puns, such as Barry combining ''{{Superman}}'', ''KellysHeroes'', ''TheFrenchConnection'', ''AlCapone'', ''FantasticVoyage'', ''Man With The X-Ray Eyes'', ''ThePrincessAndThePea'', ''[[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nightmare_Alley_(film) Nightmare Alley]]'' and the ''Duchess & The Dustman'' combining to make ''[[MaryPoppins Superkellyfrenchaltasticexpeaalleyduchess]]''. Used to be very popular, but the last time it popped up was in 1995.

One team gives a subject for a blues to the other team. The other team then improvise a blues, with each panellist taking alternate lines. They inevitably start with "I woke up this mornin'". (Occassionally, Humph would specifically mention penalizing a team for starting a blues with that sentence, which inevitably resulted in "I rose from my bed as dawn began" or some other variation. Variations included 'Calypso' (always starting with "I [thing related to the topic] the other day") and 'Madrigal'. Used to be one of the most reccurring rounds, but is now rarely played.

* LyricalDissonance: Some of the more hilarious examples of One Song To The Tune Of Another - "Girlfriend in a Coma" to the tune of "Tiptoe Through the Tulips" springs to mind.

** "Bat out of Hell" to the tune of "Postman Pat" fits rather well.

The chairman was Humphrey Lyttelton, a jazz trumpeter (the thinking being that improvisational comedy owed a lot to jazz), who created the persona of a curmudgeonly DeadpanSnarker who would rather be doing something else. ''Anything'' else. The regular panelists for most of the show's history were Barry Cryer, Willie Rushton, Tim Brooke-Taylor and Graeme Garden (the third Goodie, Bill Oddie, was in Series 1). After Rushton's death in 1996, the fourth panelist became a rotating position. Because of the show's pedigree, and the fact that the regulars have the final say in who the guests are, being asked to appear on the show is seen as an honour (and many have turned down the opportunity for fear they might ruin it). Other people on the show include Colin Sell, the long-suffering pianist, and Samantha, the entirely fictional scorer, about whom many [[DoubleEntendre Double Entendres]] are made.

Colin Sell's stand-in as duty pianist was veteran jokester musician {{Neil Innes}}, best known for the ''{{Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band}}'' and ''{{The Rutles}}''. Humph introduced him as ''a man whose royalty payments on "I'm The Urban Spaceman" have just run out'', to which Innes responded with several bars of the Death March from ''Aida''.