History Quotes / WhenAllyouHaveIsAHammer

-->-- '''[[LovableJock Alex]]''', ''VisualNovel/MagicalWarriorDiamondHeart''

[[folder:Film]]

->"Doesn't matter if it's for long range, short range, small map, big map, every situation I see is a nail and the M82 I'm holding is the hammer."

->"Manakel solved the problem [of being attacked from all directions] the same way I figured most necromancers solved most of their problems: with dead bodies.
-->--'''Flick Chambers''', ''Literature/HereticalEdge'' (watching Manakel use corpses as {{BulletproofHumanShield}}s)

-->-- '''Imperial Fists on the subject of Daemon Princes''', ''Literature/SpaceMarineBattles''

[[folder:Live Action TV]]

->'''Finch:''' This plan feels rather reckless.
->'''Shaw:''' There's a time for a scalpel and a time for a hammer. [[Music/MCHammer It's hammer time.]]

-->-- ''VideoGame/{{Borderlands 2}}''

'''John Henry Irons (ComicBook/{{Steel}}):''' [[DropTheHammer Grab your hammer]].

->''"I'm going to fix [[CallingTheOldManOut this]] like I fix [[ComedicSociopathy every other problem]] in my life: [[WhipItGood by whipping]] [[AbusiveParents everybody within]] [[AxCrazy a five-hundred-yard radius]]!"''

->''"I could see that Lee had no aptitude for ''ninjutsu]]'' or ''genjutsu''. So we skipped them, and focused all of his time and energy into developing his ''taijutsu''. That way we turned his disadvantage into a blessing. Now he doesn't ''need'' those other things to win, because he's transformed himself into the world's greatest ''taijutsu'' specialist."''

-->-- '''Bill Raibert''', ''Webcomic/{{Freefall}}''

->''"I could see that Lee had no aptitude for ''[[MagicByAnyOtherName ninjutsu]]'' or ''[[MasterOfIllusion genjutsu]]''. So we skipped them, and focused all of his time and energy into developing his ''[[SupernaturalMartialArts taijutsu]]''. That way we turned his disadvantage into a blessing. Now he doesn't ''need'' those other things to win, because he's transformed himself into the world's greatest ''taijutsu'' specialist."''

->'''[[MasterSwordsman DIRK]]:''' Let's not downplay our sword gambit, though.\\

->''"When the only tool you have is a [[ChainsawGood chainsaw]], every problem looks like hours of fun."''

->''Why does your solution to every problem involve fucking somebody, Jeremy? Do you think they sit around in cabinet, talking about how they're going to send Phillip Hammond to fuck President Hollande to sort the Eurozone crisis?''

''Why does your solution to every problem involve fucking somebody, Jeremy? Do you think they sit around in cabinet, talking about how they're going to send Phillip Hammond to fuck President Hollande to sort the Eurozone crisis?''

'''Friar Lawrence''': I don’t understand.

-->--'''Imperial Fists on the subject of Daemon Princes''', ''Literature/SpaceMarineBattles''

->''"I suppose it is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail."''
-->-- '''Abraham Maslow''', TropeNamer

->''"When you have absolute dominion over the insect kingdom, you tend to think every problem is just a matter of finding the right volume of bees to throw at it."''
-->-- '''Website/{{Cracked}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-8-most-ridiculously-badass-protesters-ever-photographed/ "The 8 Most Ridiculously Badass Protesters Ever Photographed"]]

->''"Lovie returns to Tampa after spending five years there as an assistant in the late 90s, helping to perfect the Tampa 2 defense, which is the most annoying defense in the history of football. It is a boring defense that invites offenses to go up and down the field seven yards at a time, and it will [[SuckinessIsPainful crush your will to live]] no matter which side you are cheering for. Regardless of what the offense is doing, you can be sure that Lovie will make absolutely NO adjustment to his defense whatsoever. Hey Coach, they're lining up trips right! TAMPA 2. Hey Coach, they're gonna pound the ball up the middle! TAMPA 2. Hey Coach, they've imported space cyborgs to literally fly the ball up the field! TAMPA 2. The Tampa 2 sucks."''
-->--'''[[http://deadspin.com/why-your-team-sucks-2014-tampa-bay-buccaneers-1619306481 Drew Magary]]''', "Why Your Team Sucks 2014: Tampa Bay Buccaneers"

->'''Jay:''' So, they're shooting him with positively-charged slime, and they're shooting the painting with the proton packs. What is this--? What is this doing?\\
'''Rick:''' [[HandWave It defeats evil]], Jay.\\
'''Jay:''' They're just lassos, basically! They're like lassos for ghosts!\\
'''Rich:''' They could've come up with something clever, y'know. They could've thrown, like, turpentine on [[PhantomZonePicture the painting]], and that would've defeated Vigo. And that would've been mildly clever.\\
'''Mike:''' But that wouldn't have involved them shooting their proton packs.\\
'''Jay:''' Yeah, you have to have them shooting their proton packs even if it doesn't make any sense, just because they're Ghostbusters, and that's what they do.
-->-- ''WebVideo/HalfInTheBag'' riffs ''Film/GhostbustersII''

->''"I require a reminder as to why raining arcane destruction is not an appropriate response to all of life's indignities. Quickly, please, before they are out of range."''
-->-- '''Vaarsuvius''', ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick''

->''"As the size of an explosion increases, the number of social situations it is incapable of solving approaches zero."''
-->-- '''Vaarsuvius''', ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick''

->''"Hey, you know what really gets under my skin? Proverbially, of course? A century of wizards looking down their damn noses at me. ''Energy Drain!'' I know people think I'm stupid. Because I'm not a wizard. Because I get bored easily. Because I have no interest in strategy or tactics or contingency planning. ''Energy Drain!'' But see, I've learned a lot over the years since I died. A lot more than I learned during my life. And now I see that planning doesn't matter. Strategy doesn't matter. Only two things matter: Force in as great a concentration as you can manage, and style. And in a pinch, style can slide. ''Energy Drain!'' In any battle, there's always a level of force against which no tactics can succeed. For example, all I need to do is keep smacking you with Energy Drains, and soon you won't be able to cast any of your fancy spells at all. ''Energy Drain!'' Because yes, I am a sorcerer - and this magic is in my bones, not cribbed off of "Magic for Dummies." And I can keep casting the same friggin' spell at you until you roll over and die. You can have your finely-crafted watch - give me the sledgehammer to the face any day. '''ENERGY DRAIN!'''"''
-->-- '''Xykon''', ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick''

->''"It's like I know all the combos in the game but he just keeps hitting the A button!"''
-->-- '''Gibbs''', ''WesternAnimation/TitanMaximum''

->''"I'm going to fix [[CallingTheOldManOut this]] like I fix [[ComedicSociopathy every other problem]] in my life: [[WhipItGood by whipping]] [[AbusiveParents everybody within]] [[AxCrazy a five-hundred-yard radius]]!"''
-->-- '''Hank Ishtar''', ''[[WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series]]''

->'''Usagi''' /draws her Scepter. "Well, I might as well try this sucker. Though goodness knows how I'm supposed to 'cleanse' a pile of rocks."\\
'''<< Usagi : Cast > Halation : Rubble >>'''\\
< Rubble destroyed! Plesiosaurs freed! >\\
'''Usagi''': "...no kidding."
-->-- [[http://forum.rpg.net/showpost.php?p=11918608&postcount=184 Shadowjack's recap]] of ''Manga/SailorMoon'' episode 67

->''"Okay, this should be simple enough. I can steal anything that isn't nailed down or on fire. I'm dealing with neither of these things now. This is just an incorporeal force locked inside an arcane orb of solid crystal by magical forces beyond my comprehension while the embodiment of death itself looms over my soon to be corpse."''
-->-- '''Thief''', ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater''.

->''"Like most of life's problems, this one can be solved by bending!"''
-->-- '''Bender''', ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}'' "The Deep South"

->"''I will cut you [[WhenAllYouHaveIsAHammer with my hammer]]. And Hammers don't usually cut, so try to imagine how much of a [[CutHisHeartOutWithASpoon long]] and [[CruelAndUnusualDeath painful]] process this will be. ...And it's made of wood, [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking so you'll probably get splinters.]]''"
-->-- '''King Dedede''', ''[[WebAnimation/BowsersKingdom Smash Kingdom]]: [[http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/428847 Melee]]''

->''"Once you build the galaxy's biggest hammer, someone will always start looking for nails."''
-->-- '''Admiral Koris''', ''VideoGame/MassEffect2''

->''"When the only tool you have is a [[ChainsawGood chainsaw]], every problem looks like hours of fun."''
-->-- '''Unknown'''

--> — ''Series/BuffyTheVampireSlayer'', "The Wish"

->''"I couldn't think of one clever way to stop this guy, so I just trusted in mindless violence."''
-->-- '''Cliff Steele''', ''Comicbook/DoomPatrol''

->'''[[BadassPreacher Lycaon]]''': Do you know how to kill him?\\
'''[[CombatPragmatist Lysander]]''': [[ThereIsNoKillLikeOverkill Cut him into pieces and burn them.]]\\
'''Lycaon''': Is that what the people of Malodrax say?\\
'''Lysander''': No, but that works on everything.
-->--'''Imperial Fists on the subject of Daemon Princes''', ''Literature/SpaceMarineBattles''

->'''Finch:''' This plan feels rather reckless.
->'''Shaw:''' There's a time for a scalpel and a time for a hammer. [[Music/MCHammer It's hammer time.]]
-->-- ''Series/PersonOfInterest'', "Aletheia"

->'''Steven:''' So, what ''is'' the plan, anyway?\\
'''Peridot:''' We have a drill. ''We're going to drill.''
-->--''WesternAnimation/StevenUniverse''

->''"The answer? Use a gun. And if that don't work... use more gun."''
-->--'''The Engineer''', ''VideoGame/TeamFortress2''

->''"When all you have is a hammer, everyone else is a nail!"''
--> -- '''Reinhardt Wilhelm''', ''VideoGame/{{Overwatch}}''

->''"A good idea is something that does not solve just one single problem, but rather can solve multiple problems at once."''
-->--'''Creator/ShigeruMiyamoto'''

-->--'''Dirk Strider''', ''Webcomic/{{Homestuck}}''

->''This is why I hate working when exhausted. I have a hammer. I have a problem that can be solved with a hammer. At some point I'm going to be too tired to think of a solution that doesn't involve a hammer.''
-->'''Bill Raibert''', ''Webcomic/{{Freefall}}''

->'''Juliet''': There must be something we can do. What do you suggest?\\
'''Friar Lawrence''': Well, I mean, you COULD fake your own death for forty-two hours. I got a vial that makes that happen in people. It’s not even a big deal.\\
'''Juliet''': That’s crazy.\\
'''Friar Lawrence''': Yeah, no, I could see why you’d say that. Alright, here’s another option, and it’s crazy, Juliet, but it JUST MIGHT WORK.\\
'''Juliet''': Yes?\\
'''Friar Lawrence''': You could fake PARIS’S death for forty-two hours instead.\\
'''Juliet''': That’s even crazier! That’s fake attempted murder and won’t solve anything and will, in fact, only create extra problems for me! Listen, Friar, do you have any solutions that don’t involve anyone faking their death for forty-two hours?\\
'''Friar Lawrence''': I don’t understand.
-->--''Literature/RomeoAndOrJuliet''