History Quotes / Understatement

->'''Emperor:''' [[AC:So anyway, these Tyranids come from the eastern fringe of the galaxy in large bugflesh ships and chomp the fuck out of everything they see, yes?]]\\
'''Custodekitty:''' Correct my lord.\\
'''Emperor:''' [[AC:And every encounter recorded with them describes them as insect-like creatures with biological weaponry and that they are countless in number, right?]]\\
'''Custodekitty:''' Yes that is right my lord. They come in endless streams too numerous to count with beasts both minuscule and massive, all killing in their unique, painful ways!\\
'''Emperor:''' [[AC:Has anyone ever considered fucking bugspray?]]\\
[...]\\
'''Custodekitty:''' Well my lord, if it’s a Biochemical weapon you’re referring to I can say that it’s not of much use. Regenerative power is something the species seem to have picked up on and many of them have extremely advanced immune systems so not much will work. In addition, the race is very adaptable and if we were to concoct a poison against them and used it, they would most likely gain a resistance to it soon after!\\
'''Emperor:''' [[AC:That is quite the fucking pickle.]]

->(''Captain America is kicking serious Nazi ass'')

->'''Wasp:''' If you respected human life you wouldn't have been propping up the nazis. Did nobody ever tell you about the death camps?

'''Batgirl:''' Yeah, you're Mother of the Stinking' Year!

->'''Batgirl:''' How could you help Joker do it, Harley?
->'''Harley Quinn:''' Okay, so he [[ColdBloodedTorture roughed the kid up a little]]. But I'll make it right.
->'''Batgirl:''' Yeah, you're Mother of the Stinking' Year!

>'''Tiger:''' Yuck! Messy, isn't it?\\
>'''Rabbit:''' Messy? ''Messy?!'' It's RUINED! It's ruined, Tigger! Oh, why don't you ''ever'' stop bouncing?!

->''"Yuck! Messy, isn't it?"''
-->-- '''Tigger''', on the state of Rabbit's garden after he bounced it, ''Disney/TheManyAdventuresOfWinnieThePooh''

->'''Homer:''' Look, I know I screwed up. This is big.\\
'''Marge:''' It's ''huge!'' WE'RE HOMELESS! OUR ''FRIENDS'' WANT TO KILL US!
-->--''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsonsMovie''

->''"Hi! I'm Whitney! Everyone was into Pokémon, so I got into it too! Pokémon are super-cute! You want to battle? I'm warning you--I'm good!"''
-->-- '''[[ThatOneBoss Whitney]]''', ''VideoGame/PokemonGoldAndSilver''

-->-- '''Soldier''', ''Film/KongSkullIsland''

'''Mills:''' Is that all your brain is telling your right now?\\

-->--'''Soldier''', ''Film/KongSkullIsland''

-->-- '''Kara Zor-El''', [[EarthShatteringKaboom last survivor of Krypton]], ''Series/{{Supergirl 2015}}''

''[Michael, Trevor, and Franklin all do the MonkeyMoralityPose, complete with silent "are you fucking kidding me?"]''

''[Michael, Trevor, and Franklin all do the MonkeyMoralityPose, complete with implied "are you fucking kidding me?"]''

-->-- '''[[ThatOneBoss Whitney]]''', ''Videogame/PokemonGoldAndSilver''

-->-- ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive''

'''Brigadier Thomas Brodie, British Army:''' A bit sticky, things are pretty sticky down there.\\

''(Said whilst 650 British soldiers from the 1st Battalion, the Gloucestershire Regiment were deployed on a crossing on the Imjin River during the Korean war and fighting over 10,000 Chinese troops.)''

----

-> ''[[UsefulNotes/SecondSinoJapaneseWar The war situation]] [[UsefulNotes/WorldWarTwo has developed]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice not necessarily to Japan's advantage.]]''
-->-- '''Emperor Hirohito''''s 'Jewel Voice Broadcast', August 1945

->'''Major-General Robert H Soule, US Army:''' How are the Glosters doing?\\
'''Brigadier Thomas Brodie, British Army:''' A bit sticky, things are pretty sticky down there.\\
''(Said whilst 650 British soldiers from the 1st Battalion, the Gloucestershire Regiment were deployed on a crossing on the Imjin River during the Korean war and fighting over 10,000 Chinese troops.)''

->''"In topology there's a longer kind of line, very appropriately yet confusing called the 'Long Line'. The Long Line is so long that you can't stretch a finite line segment to be a long line, even if you stretch it infinitely long. And likewise, the Long Line is not contractible, like here's one part of the Long Line and here's another but even if you grab them and stretch them twords each other forever you can never get them from here to there. Infinite stretching isn't enough, so these points are part of the same line but they kinda don't connect to eachother. That's how long the Long Line is, I mean it's like really long."''
-->-- '''Vihart''', ''Creator/Vihart''

->'''Xykon:''' What happened?\\
'''Redcloak:''' Yeah, uh we had a small problem with the Gate.\\
'''Xykon:''' The forest is on fire.\\
'''Redcloak:''' I '''just said''' we had a small problem! Geez!
-->-- ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick''

->''"You know, there are certain flaws in [[Film/ManosTheHandsOfFate this movie]]."''
-->-- '''Tom Servo''', ''Series/MysteryScienceTheater3000''

->"To call it an understatement would be an understatement."
-->--'''Sarah Vowell''', ''Assassination Vacation''

-> [A] District Attorney in Texas is on trial for building himself a sweet rig on the county dime. The machine in question sports "two hard drives, seven fans, high-end video and audio cards, a wireless Internet connection and cables that glow under ultraviolet light."... "I would not configure a backup computer in that way," says Mr. Gregg, FBI senior forensic examiner and reigning Understatement King.
-->-- '''[[Webcomic/PennyArcade Tycho Brahe]]''', [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/2008/3/12/ commentary]] on ''The Case of Texas vs. [=KryoLord=]''

->''"You killed my mom! You're not very nice!"''
-->-- '''Goten''' to '''Super Buu''', ''VideoGame/DragonballXenoverse''

->''"Not even Spock had stayed aboard for that -- he found breathing vacuum for any length of time to be aesthetically unpleasant."''
-->-- ''Literature/SpocksWorld''

->''"SelfDemonstrating/TheJoker is a tricky foe. His jokes are never funny. Sometimes they hurt people."''
-->-- '''Catherine Hapka''', ''I Am Batman''

->'''Ford:''' I rescued you from the Earth.\\
'''Arthur:''' And what's happened to the Earth?\\
'''Ford:''' It's been demolished.\\
'''Arthur:''' Has it.\\
'''Ford:''' Yes. It just boiled away into space.\\
'''Arthur:''' Look, I'm a bit upset about that.
-->-- ''Radio/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy'' radio series

->'''Enemy Agent:''' You killed two of my men.\\
'''Hetty:''' It was an overreaction.
-->-- ''Series/NCISLosAngeles''

->''"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. We have a small problem. [[OhCrap All four engines have stopped]]. We are doing our damnedest to get them going again. [[StiffUpperLip I trust you are not in too much distress]]."''
-->-- '''Captain Eric Moody''', [[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/British_Airways_Flight_9 British Airways Flight 9]], shortly after flying through a cloud of volcanic ash.

->''"UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler was a very naughty man."''
-->-- '''Educational Video''', ''WesternAnimation/SouthPark''

->''"Collecting customs duties in America had not been one of Britain's glorious successes in the eighteenth century."''
-->-- '''Robert Middlekauf''', ''The Glorious Cause: the American Revolution 1763-1789''

->''"The above proposition is occasionally useful."''
-->-- '''A.N. Whitehead''' and '''Bertrand Russell''', ''Principia Mathematica'', on their proof that 1 + 1 = 2.

->''"Stalin's policies, including the murder of millions of his fellow countrymen, were not universally beloved."''
-->-- ''TabletopGame/{{Gurps}}'', "Cliffhangers"

->''[loud explosion is faintly heard over background static]''\\
'''Lovell:''' ''[as if reporting an odd sensor reading]'' Okay, uh, Houston? ''[[[{{Beat}} ...]]]'' I believe we've had a problem here.\\
''[[DramaticPause [several seconds of silence]]]''\\
'''Mission Control''': [[FlatWhat This is Houston, say again please.]]\\
'''Lovell:''' Houston, we've had a problem.
-->-- '''James A. Lovell''', Commander of [[{{Film/Apollo13}} Apollo 13]][[note]][[RealisticDictionIsUnrealistic Intentionally misquoted in the film]][[/note]]

->''"My parents died... in a fire."''
-->-- '''Kara Zor-El''', [[EarthShatteringKaboom last survivor of Krypton]], ''Series/{{Supergirl 2015}}''

->'''Egon''': Don't cross the streams.\\
'''Peter''': Why?\\
'''Egon''': It would be bad.\\
'''Peter''': I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, 'bad?'\\
'''Egon''': Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.\\
'''Ray''': Total protonic reversal.\\
'''Peter''': Right. [[CaptainObvious That's bad.]] Okay. All right. Important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.

->'''Homer:''' Look, I know I screwed up. This is big.\\
'''Marge:''' It's ''huge!'' WE'RE HOMELESS! OUR ''FRIENDS'' WANT TO KILL US!
-->--''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsonsMovie''

->'''Raven:''' ''Grace'' killed Damien!? We're talking about the girl who ran out of my classroom crying after reading about World War II!\\
'''Noah:''' World War II ''was'' kind of a bummer...
-->-- ''Webcomic/ElGoonishShive''

->She was so into hunting that she began hunting anything that moved (travelers, sheperds, villagers, you know). Now, the inhabitants of her kingdom weren't exactly peachy-keen about this...
-->-- Entry on '''Harpalyce''', [[http://www.paleothea.com/Humans.html here]]

->'''Kryten:''' You're good friends with the [[ThoseWackyNazis Hitlers]]?!\\
'''Future Kryten:''' It's just a social thing; we don't talk about his work. We just have a few laughs, play canasta and enjoy some mixed doubles with the Goerings.\\
'''Kryten:''' I don't believe what I'm hearing!\\
'''Future Rimmer:''' Look, you have to understand. We travel back and forth throughout the whole of history, and naturally we want to sample the best of everything. It's just a bit unfortunate that the finest things tend to be in the possession of people you would judge to be a bit dodgy.\\
'''Kryten:''' ''Hermann Goering'' is "''a bit dodgy''"?!
-->-- ''Series/RedDwarf'', "Out of Time"

->'''Emperor:''' [[AC:So anyway, these Tyranids come from the eastern fringe of the galaxy in large bugflesh ships and chomp the fuck out of everything they see, yes?]]\\
'''Custodekitty:''' Correct my lord.\\
'''Emperor:''' [[AC:And every encounter recorded with them describes them as insect-like creatures with biological weaponry and that they are countless in number, right?]]\\
'''Custodekitty:''' Yes that is right my lord. They come in endless streams too numerous to count with beasts both minuscule and massive, all killing in their unique, painful ways!\\
'''Emperor:''' [[AC:Has anyone ever considered fucking bugspray?]]\\
[...]\\
'''Custodekitty:''' Well my lord, if it’s a Biochemical weapon you’re referring to I can say that it’s not of much use. Regenerative power is something the species seem to have picked up on and many of them have extremely advanced immune systems so not much will work. In addition, the race is very adaptable and if we were to concoct a poison against them and used it, they would most likely gain a resistance to it soon after!\\
'''Emperor:''' [[AC:That is quite the fucking pickle.]]
-->-- ''WebAnimation/IfTheEmperorHadATextToSpeechDevice''

->'''Atton:''' I'm guessing that Republic ship that just docked isn't carrying friends of yours.\\
'''Kreia:''' I hope your talent for understatement is offset by your skill with a blaster. If not, then I fear our time together will be short indeed.
-->-- ''VideoGame/KnightsOfTheOldRepublicIITheSithLords''

->''If we don't get out now, they'll come up here and tear us all to pieces. And that is really going to exacerbate things for everyone.''

->''Hi! I'm Whitney! Everyone was into Pokémon, so I got into it too! Pokémon are super-cute! You want to battle? I'm warning you--I'm good!''

-->-- ''Emperor Hirohito's 'Jewel Voice Broadcast', August 1945''

-->--''Assassination Vacation'', Sarah Vowell

-->-- ''Literature/SpocksWorld'' by Creator/DianeDuane

-->-- ''I Am Batman'', Catherine Hapka

-->-- TabletopGame/{{Gurps}}, ''Cliffhangers''

-> ''[[UsefulNotes/SecondSinoJapaneseWar The war]] [[UsefulNotes/WorldWarTwo has developed,]] [[CrossesTheLineTwice not necessarily to Japan's advantage.]] ... In the event of a sustained atomic bombing, the protection of the Japanese nation would be difficult.''

-->-- [[Webcomic/PennyArcade Tycho]], [[http://www.penny-arcade.com/2008/3/12/ commentary]] on ''The Case of Texas vs. [=KryoLord=]''

->'''Ford:''' I rescued you from the Earth.
->'''Arthur:''' And what's happened to the Earth?
->'''Ford:''' It's been demolished.
->'''Arthur:''' Has it.
->'''Ford:''' Yes. It just boiled away into space.
->'''Arthur:''' Look, I'm a bit upset about that.

-->-- '''Elspeth''', Fanfic/{{Luminosity}}

'''Emperor:''' [[AC:And ever encounter recorded with them describes them as insect-like creatures with biological weaponry and that they are countless in number, right?]]\\

-->-- '''Series/NCISLosAngeles'''

->'''Soldier:''' Is that [[Film/KingKong a monkey]]?
-->--''Film/KongSkullIsland''