History Quotes / UHF

'''Pamela Finklestein:''' Hi, Pamela Finklestein here, coming to you with the most incredible turn of events. Not only has the once powerful corporate broadcasting giant been thoroughly crushed and defeated, but now, as luck would have it, they've been completely stripped of their license by the FCC!!! (giggles) Well, what do you have to say about it, you worthless slobbering pig?

->'''R.J. Fletcher:''' Now, wait just a minute, what do you think you're doing?!?\\

'''FCC Agent:''' John Vickers, FCC. I noticed your station is late in filing its license renewal. Now, normally this kind of violation would be punishable by a stiff fine, but I've been watching you lately and you've made a big impression on me. Yeah, I'm revoking your license. Effective immediately, you're off the air.

->'''Weird Al Yankovic:''' Hello, Um, That feature is on the other disc. You have to switch to the other DVD. Thanks.
->'''Weird Al Yankovic:''' Hey, If you want to see that, You have to switch it to the other DVD!
->'''Weird Al Yankovic:''' Like it says: THAT FEATURE IS ON THE OTHER DISC!
-->-- Used in the UHF 10th Anniversary DVD Special Feature menu.

->'''Stanley Spadowski:''' BE THERE! Huh-huh, yeah!

->'''Stanley Spadowski:''' BE THERE! Huh, yeah!

'''John Vector:''' R.J. Fletcher? R.J. Fletcher?\\
'''R.J. Fletcher:''' Yes?\\
'''John Vector:''' I am John Vector of the FCC. I noticed your station is late in filing its license renewal. Now, normally this kind of violation would be punishable by a stiff fine, but I've been watching you lately and you've made a big impression on me. Yeah, I'm revoking your license. Effective immediately, you're off the air.

'''Bob:''' We're number one.\\

'''Bob:''' We beat out the networks! This is unbelievable! Look at this! We've got three shows in the top five! ''Stanley Spadowski's Clubhouse'' went through the roof! It got a .60 share! George, do you know what this means? We're finally going to make some real money! George, we are the ''number one station in town''!\\
''[They both scream for excitement]''

->'''Announcer:''' There's lots of fun coming your way this weekend on U-62. First slam your way to health as you Stay Fit with Mike and Spike! Next, Everybody's favorite: Chef Bernie invites to go Bowling for Burgers! Sunday, Be a part of the excitement as we premiere our dazzling new game show, Strip Solitaire! And then, Join us for hilarious fun on The All New Practical Jokes and Bloopers! And you won't want to miss Celebrity Mud Wrestling with special guest: McCall Contraband! It's a whole new weekend on U-62, The reason television was invented!
->'''Stanley Spadowski:''' BE THERE! (chuckles)
-->--The U-62 promo scene.

'''George Newman:''' WE DID IT! THE STATION'S OURS!\\

'''John Vector:''' I am John Vector of the FCC. I noticed your station is late in flining its license renewal. Now, normally this kind of violation would be punishable by a stiff fine, but I've been watching you lately and you've made a big impression on me. Yeah, I'm revoking your license. Effective immediately, you're off the air.

-->--The scene when Bob found out that U-62 became the number 1 station in town.

'''John Vector:''' I am John Vector of the FCC. I noticed your station is late for its license renewal. Now, normally this kind of violation would be punishable by a stiff fine, but I've been watching you lately and you've made a big impression on me. Yeah, I'm revoking your license. Effective immediately, you're off the air.

->'''R.J. Fletcher:''' Hey, wait! What are you doing?!?
->'''George Newman:''' WE DID IT! THE STATION IS OURS!
->(Everybody cheers as the fanfare music plays and fireworks goes off)
->'''Harvey Bilchik:''' Wow! Look at that!
->'''R.J. Fletcher:''' YOU CAN'T DO THAT! We have an agreement, Remember?!? An oral contract! I'll sue them!
->'''John Vector:''' R.J. Fletcher? R.J. Fletcher?
->'''R.J. Fletcher:''' Yes?
->'''John Vector:''' I am John Vector of the FCC. I know that your station is late for its license renewal. Now, normally this kind of violation would be punishable by a stiff fine, but I've been watching you lately and you've made a big impression on me. Yeah, I'm revoking your license. Effective immediately, you're off the air.

->'''George Newman:''' What do you got there, Bob?
->'''Bob:''' The Ratings.
->'''George Newman:''' Don't tell me, We showed up on the list.
->'''Bob:''' We're number 1.
->'''George Newman:''' Say what?!?
->'''Bob:''' We beat networks. This is unbelievable. Look at these notes. We got three shows in the top 5. Stanley Spadowski's Clubhouse went through the roof. Do you know what this means? We're finally going to make some real money. George, We are the number 1 station in town!
->(They both scream for excitement)

->'''R.J. Fleichser:''' Hey, wait! What are you doing?!?

->'''R.J. Fleichser:''' YOU CAN'T DO THAT! We have an agreement, Remember?!? An oral contract! I'll sue them!
->'''John Vector:''' R.J Fleichser, Are you R.J. Fleichser?
->'''R.J. Fleichser:''' Yes?
->'''John Vector:''' I am John Vector of the FCC. I know that your station is late for it's license renewal Now, normally this kind of violation would be punishable by a stiff fine, but I've been watching you lately and you've made a big impression on me. Yeah, I'm revoking your license. Effective immediately, you're off the air.
-->-- From the ending scene on UHF when Channel 62 was saved.

->'''R.J. Fleichser: YOU CAN'T DO THAT! We have an agreement, Remember?!? An oral contract! I'll sue them!

-->-- Used in the UHF 10th Anniversary DVD Special Feature menu.

-->-- From the ending scene on UHF when Channel 62 was saved.