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History Quotes / TheOrderOfTheStick

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'''Oona''': ''No, no. Intentions are sparkly, like fresh snow on mangled corpse. But little bald man is doing in his life what we bugbears are calling "living in two villages. First village is named Doing-Very-Best-for-Goblins, where we are skipping and playing and not worrying about getting smushed by dwarf or elf. Second village is named Right-All-Along, and all the rocks and trees there are telling little bald man he is being very smart and justified... little bald man is liking both villages and is owning fancy cottage with indoor fireplace in each. Okie dokie! Villages are across river from each other. No big whoop to be living in both. Lunch in one, dinner in the other! Everyone is happy! But problem with living in two villages is: what if one day, bridge over river is being eaten by angry dolphin? Which village will little man be living in then? Which choice will he be choosing when choosing time is here?''\\

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'''Oona''': ''No, no. Intentions are sparkly, like fresh snow on mangled corpse. But little bald man is doing in his life what we bugbears are calling "living in two villages.villages". First village is named Doing-Very-Best-for-Goblins, where we are skipping and playing and not worrying about getting smushed by dwarf or elf. Second village is named Right-All-Along, and all the rocks and trees there are telling little bald man he is being very smart and justified... little bald man is liking both villages and is owning fancy cottage with indoor fireplace in each. Okie dokie! Villages are across river from each other. No big whoop to be living in both. Lunch in one, dinner in the other! Everyone is happy! But problem with living in two villages is: what if one day, bridge over river is being eaten by angry dolphin? Which village will little man be living in then? Which choice will he be choosing when choosing time is here?''\\
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->'''Oona''': ''Oh, Oona is knowing that little bald man in cape is caring very much. Yes. But...''\\
'''Redcloak''': ''But what? Do you doubt my intentions?''\\
'''Oona''': ''No, no. Intentions are sparkly, like fresh snow on mangled corpse. But little bald man is doing in his life what we bugbears are calling "living in two villages. First village is named Doing-Very-Best-for-Goblins, where we are skipping and playing and not worrying about getting smushed by dwarf or elf. Second village is named Right-All-Along, and all the rocks and trees there are telling little bald man he is being very smart and justified... little bald man is liking both villages and is owning fancy cottage with indoor fireplace in each. Okie dokie! Villages are across river from each other. No big whoop to be living in both. Lunch in one, dinner in the other! Everyone is happy! But problem with living in two villages is: what if one day, bridge over river is being eaten by angry dolphin? Which village will little man be living in then? Which choice will he be choosing when choosing time is here?''\\
'''Redcloak''': ''So you're worried that at some point, the goals I've been working toward might be incompatible with...what? My own ego? I don't know see how to take that as anything but an insult, given how much of my life I've devoted to—''\\
'''Oona''': ''Oona never said she was worried. Oona is pretty sure she knows what little caped man would choose.''
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->''"One o' tha most import'nt lessons o' bein' a healer is: Gettin' tha ''diagnosis'' right dinnae mean yer gonna get tha ''treatment'' right too. Redcloak, 'e's right aboot wha's wrong, but wrong about how ta make it right."''
-->--'''Durkon Thundershield'''

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->''"What is it with you paladin chicks and killing weird old people?!?"''
-->-- '''Belkar'''
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->''"Even if we hold the city tomorrow, it may be the last night alive for many of those girls you just told to "chill out". It might even be the last night for you, or one of your friends. (Beat) This isn't the dungeon. In a war, people on the winning side still die. You might want to consider taking it somewhat seriously."''

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->''"Even if we hold the city tomorrow, it may be the last night alive for many of those girls you just told to "chill out". It might even be the last night for you, or one of your friends. (Beat) ({{beat}}) This isn't the dungeon. In a war, people on the winning side still die. You might want to consider taking it somewhat seriously."''
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->''"Even if we hold the city tomorrow, it may be the last night alive for many of those girls you just told to "chill out". It might even be the last night for you, or one of your friends. (Beat) This isn't the dungeon. In a war, people on the winning side still die. You might want to consider taking it somewhat seriously."''
-->--'''O-Chul''', [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0417.html #417]]
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[[folder:Final Arc]]

->''"It's a winding road with no guardrails and some deeply stupid cul-de-sacs, but it's still technically a path."''
-->-- '''Roy'''

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->''"Order every hobgoblin, zombie, ghoul, or whatever else we have to charge that breach in the wall, and not to stop until they can feel the ocean spray on their faces. We're going to win this war NOW."''
-->-- '''Redcloak'''
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Do not pothole in quotes.


->'''Elan:''' (''being chased by Tarquin's guards'') Man! [[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder Is having someone who points out the clichés in all your plans always this annoying?]]\\

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->'''Elan:''' (''being chased by Tarquin's guards'') Man! [[RhetoricalQuestionBlunder Is having someone who points out the clichés in all your plans always this annoying?]]\\annoying?\\



->''"I may be in error, but I believe the appropriate proclamation is: "[[BorrowedCatchphrase Sneak Attack]], [[SophisticatedAsHell bitch]]"."''

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->''"I may be in error, but I believe the appropriate proclamation is: "[[BorrowedCatchphrase Sneak Attack]], [[SophisticatedAsHell bitch]]"."Sneak Attack, bitch"."''
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[[folder:Good Deeds Gone Unpunished]]
->''A lot of people are going to get hurt tomorrow. All we can do is stand in the way of that and say, "Not them. Me. If you need to hurt someone, hurt me."... Because the alternative is to look at someone else, someone weaker and more vulnerable, and tell them that you want them to be hurt instead of you.''
-->-- '''O-Chul'''

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