History Quotes / TheDitz

-->-- ''Machinima/RedVsBlue''

->''[[AC:He's not just [[IdiotBall a regular moron]]. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation, working together with the express purpose of building]]'' [[AC: [[UpToEleven the DUMBEST moron who EVER lived]].]]

'''Misty''': Uh-uh! The cops rescue you, like on [[Series/{{Cops}} that TV show]]!

->'''Frat Alien:''' My dad paid for this hole and this hole is named after my dad!\\
'''Master Shake:''' Maybe that's why it's called ''Ass''!\\
'''Meatwad:''' Is it really called Ass?\\
'''Shake:''' I don't know, I'm shooting my mouth off!
-->-- ''WesternAnimation/AquaTeenHungerForce [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot Zombie Ninja Pro-Am]]''

-->-- ''Series/GoldenGirls''

->''"Do you even understand what is going on here, or is the whole world just colours and shapes and the occasional noise in your head?"''
-->-- '''Patrick''', ''Series/DeadSet''

-> '''L:''' Oh, it's nothing. Matsuda is being stupid again.
-> '''Light:''' Well, that ''is'' his specialty.

->'''Marten:''' Aw, well Raven's nice, but... I think she's like, a savant who hasn't found out what her one preternatural talent is, y'know?
->'''Tai:''' Is the amount of talent proportional to the amount of idiocy the savant otherwise displays? 'Cuz if so, she's gonna turn on the Weather Channel one day and spontaneously fix global warming.
-->-- ''Webcomic/QuestionableContent''

->''"You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance."''
-->-- '''Edward Flaherty'''

->''"So everyone is talking about "old" Hollywood, which I think is basically like regular Hollywood, except it's wrinkly and smells like mothballs and metamucil. The best way to get this look is to have your grandma sit on your clothes for awhile and then you can wear them!"''
-->-- '''Tiffany Thongbiscuit''' on the "Old Hollywood" look.

->''"That King, although noone denies\\
His heart was of abnormal size,\\
Yet he'd have acted otherwise\\
If he'd have been acuter."''
-->-- '''Don Alhambra''', Creator/GilbertAndSullivan: ''Theatre/TheGondoliers''

->''"She was expelled from the National Union of Bimbos for being too dim."''
-->-- '''Alex''', regarding [[RichBitch Sally Smedley]], ''Series/DropTheDeadDonkey''

->''"I like swords."''
-->-- '''Fighter''', ''Webcomic/EightBitTheater''

->''"Don't mind him. He was dropped on his head at birth and infected with a happy virus during childhood."''
-->-- ''WebVideo/TokyoMewMewInANutshell''

->''"Shut up Eccles! Shut up Eccles! Shut up Eccles! Oh, that's me!"''
-->-- '''Eccles''', ''Radio/TheGoonShow''

->''(The Serpentine has been drained and filled with concrete)''\\
'''Seagoon:''' How did you get that lump on your head?\\
'''Eccles:''' I just dived in the Serpentine!\\
'''Seagoon:''' Didn't you know it was filled with solid concrete?\\
'''Eccles:''' No, but I know now. In any case, I wouldn't dare dive in a pool with water in it.\\
'''Seagoon:''' Why not?\\
'''Eccles:''' Can't swim!
-->-- ''Radio/TheGoonShow''

->'''Eccles:''' Land ahead!\\
''[Drawn-out sound of seagoing prison crashing up onto the shore]''\\
'''Eccles:''' I shoulda said that sooner.
-->-- ''Radio/TheGoonShow''

->''[a truck full of explosives is rolling down a hill towards the campe, while also being broadcast on the tv]''\\
'''Zangief:''' Quick! Change the channel!
-->-- ''Film/StreetFighter: TheMovie''

->'''Caboose:''' Last time I was shot, I got a Purple Heart. Yeah, uh, I hope this time, I get a Purple Lung. You see eventually I, I hope to build an entire Purple Person. And we will be best friends.\\
'''Tucker:''' Maybe you should ask for a Purple ''Brain''.
->'''Caboose:''' You're just jealous, 'cause you have no friends!
-->-- ''Machinima/RedVsBlue''

->'''One/Zero:''' Suzaku, listen! It's me!
->'''Suzaku:''' No, it is not! Because I'm me! And that makes you not me!
->'''One/Zero:''' What the f***?
-->-- ''WebVideo/CodeMENT''

->''[[AC:He's not just [[IdiotBall a regular moron]]. He's the product of the greatest minds of a generation, working together with the express purpose of building]]'' [[AC: [[UpToEleven the DUMBEST moron who EVER lived]].]]
-->--'''SelfDemonstrating/{{GLaDOS}}''', about [[spoiler: '''Wheatley''']], VideoGame/{{Portal 2}}

->''You remember Emmily--she was very sweet and we all loved her, but she was not the sharpest knife in the drawer. Emmily wasn't even the sharpest spoon in the drawer. Most of the time, Emmily wasn't even in the drawer at all. She was lost somewhere in the bottom of the dishwasher.''
-->--'''Jamie Kelly''', ''Literature/DearDumbDiary''

->'''Lord Percy:''' The fashion today is towards the tiny.
->'''Blackadder:''' In that case you have the most fashionable brain in London.
-->-- ''Series/BlackadderII''