History Quotes / Technoblade

-->-- '''Technoblade''', during his [[https://youtu.be/5MfhpJOkCKc analysis]] of the duel with LetsPlay/{{Dream}}

The thing is, when you got 50,000 people, a few of them are gonna be serial killers. There's not really anything anyone can do about that. That's their problem. All you can do is say 'yo murder is cringe. don't- don't do murders' and hope that convinces them. And it's not gonna convince them, because these are not the type of people that listen to reason. The moral of the story here, is that if you see a murder being committed you should immediately call them a boomer.\\
[[{{Beat}} (...)]]\\

->Now, I know what you're gonna say: "Technoblade, you monster! You really killed ''millions'' of your own kind just to make a sword?" And it- look, look, look, come on, you gotta understand. There was nothing else I could do, I was mildly inconvenienced!

-->-- '''Technoblade''', being alerted by a donation that [=SMPEarth=] has WWII era weaponry in [[https://www.youtube.com/live/QOANLUrEZtg&t=38m58s "Conquering the World: Day One - SMP Earth"]]

-->-- '''Technoblade''' to Tommy, in [[https://www.youtube.com/live/QOANLUrEZtg&t=4037 "Conquering the World: Day One - SMP Earth"]]

All of the Gryffindor Houses, they have uh- look at the last part of the name "Gryffindor"? "-dor".\\
Alright, "Slytherin"? "-in"\\
"Hufflepuff"? "-puff".\\

"Ravenclaw"? "-CLAW". Way cooler, it's a claw, alright? Doors, Inns, Puffs, they suck. Way cooler way.\\

Gryffindor, has all the- all the dumb people. See the only reason the main characters were in Gryffindor is because they have plot armor -- if you don't have plot armor, Gryffindor is for stupid people alright, that's just how it works. It's just for the boneheads.\\

''Okay, listen here.'' Anyone debating, what house they'd be, ''in a children's book'', is clearly Ravenclaw. Ok, you're not Slytherin, you're not cool, you're not edgy, ''you are obsessing over a children's book'', that means you're Ravenclaw -- that's what Ravenclaws do: they obsess over books.\\

-->-- '''Technoblade''' solving Hogwarts Housing for Harry Potter fans in [[https://www.youtube.com/live/tE7EkHEWS0E?feature=share&t=4071 "Day 2 - SMP Earth"]]

'''Techno:''' I just deported all the failures. ''(noticing Phil)'' Phil, we're gonna kill so many- Phil, think about what you're doing.\\

'''Techno:''' Phil, the innocents! Oh god-\\

'''Techno:''' Noooo. NOOOOOOOOO-\\

'''Techno:''' Bro. Bro that is straight-up the worst thing to happen to those orphans.\\
'''Pete:''' Ohhh. That is, just wrong. You annihil- you obliterated them!\\
'''Techno:''' That is just straight up a- that's not like a metaphorical, there's no hyperbole, that's just straight-up what a war crime is.\\

->Phil. Phil, I feel like I live, I feel like I live in a [[WesternAnimation/JusticeLeague World Of Cardboard]] Phil. No matter how much I try to hold back, ''they just die''. I just hit that person with a carrot- INSTANTLY OBLITERATED. They just INSTANTLY. I'm trying to hold back my power, it doesn't work! It's doesn't work! Even at 2% power, they just die instantly! [[MyGodWhatHaveIDone What have I done??]]

'''xNestorio:''' I have two. Ok, wait-\\

'''Techno:''' It would- ''That is a good argument''.

-->-- '''Technoblade''', March 28 2022 on Discord

-->-- Techno wishing Tommy a happy birthday, April 9 2022 on Discord

-->-- '''Techno and Tommy''', May 30 - June 1 2022 on Discord

->Hello, everyone. Technoblade here. If you're watching this, I am dead. So let's sit down, and have one final chat. My real name is Alex. I had one of my siblings call me Dave one time in a deleted video from 2016, and it was one of the most successful pranks we've ever done. Thousands of creepy online dudes trying to get overly personal, going, ''[='Oh, hey, Dave, how's it going?'=]'' Sorry for selling out so much in the past year, but thanks to everyone that bought hoodies, plushies, and channel memberships. My siblings are goin' to college—well, if they want to. I don't wanna put any dead-brother peer pressure on them. But that's all from me. Thank you all for supporting my content over the years. If I had another hundred lives, I think I would choose to be Technoblade again every single time, as those were the happiest years of my life. I hope you guys enjoyed my content, and that I made some of you laugh. And I hope you all go on to live long, prosperous, and happy lives. Because I love you guys. Technoblade out.

->'''''AY CARAMBA, ¿¡¿DÓNDE ESTÁ LA BIBLIOTECA?!?'''''[[labelnote:Translation]]"OH DEAR/GEEZ, WHERE IS THE LIBRARY?!?"[[/labelnote]]

->'''AY CARAMBA, ¿¡¿DÓNDE ESTÁ LA BIBLIOTECA?!?'''[[labelnote:Translation]]OH DEAR/GEEZ, WHERE IS THE LIBRARY?!?[[/labelnote]]

->'''AY CARAMBA, ¿¡¿DÓNDE ESTÁ LA BIBLIOTECA?!?'''[[labelnote:Translation]]OH DEAR/GEEZ, WHERE IS THE LIBRARY[[/labelnote]]
-->-- '''Technoblade''' to [=TommyInnit=] in Skywars, on two [[https://youtu.be/MQm64UHGLVA?t=210 separate]] [[https://youtu.be/IZhili89kSE?t=2914 occasions]].