History Quotes / SturgeonsLaw

->''"It's a bitter pill for some to swallow, but there really is a whole other America out there that they know nothing about, made up of people who watch ''Series/DuckDynasty'' and ''Series/HereComesHoneyBooBoo'' and ''Series/TeenMom'', who think of ''Creator/{{Fox News|Channel}}'' as a legitimate source of news, and who love Creator/JayLeno."''

-->--'''Behaim''', ''Literature/{{Pact}}''

-->--'''Creator/GeorgeOrwell''', "Confessions of a Book Reviewer"

-->--'''Tom Yates''', ''Series/HouseOfCardsUS''

-->--'''Music/BruceSpringsteen''', "57 Channels (And Nothin' On")

-->'''Music/BoBurnham''', "Welcome to the Internet"

->"[[Music/TheNotoriousBIG Biggie]] dead. [[Music/TupacShakur Tupac]] dead. Music/VanillaIce ''still alive!''"
-->--'''Creator/ChrisRock'''

-->--'''Creator/BillHicks''', ''Dangerous''

-->--'''Andy Kindler''' on Creator/DaneCook

-->--NPC '''Satomi''', ''VideoGame/TokyoXanadu''

-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/03/27/are-there-that-many-coach-fans-out-there-who-needed-a-sequel/ J. Harvey]]''', "Are There That Many ''Coach'' Fans Out There Who Needed A Sequel?"

->''The {{Creator/Gallagher}} of our generation. Creator/DaneCook is a "comedian" that everyone seems to love despite his extreme mediocrity. His amazing lack of jokes combined with his ability to run around the stage like a five-year-old without his meds appeals to anyone without a soul or any knowledge of comedy. His trite and obvious observations contain no punchlines and often appeal to people with short attention spans.''
-->--'''''Website/UrbanDictionary'''''

-->--'''''Website/TheOnion''''', [[http://www.theonion.com/articles/openminded-man-grimly-realizes-how-much-life-hes-w,19273/ "Open-Minded Man Grimly Realizes How Much Life He's Wasted Listening To Bullshit"]]

-->--'''[[http://www.eruditorumpress.com/blog/pop-between-realities-home-in-time-for-tea-24-quatermass-day-of-the-triffids-blakes-7-buck-rogers-in-the-25th-century-alien-sapphire-and-steel/ El Sandifer]]'''

-->-- '''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', "[[http://www.cracked.com/blog/the-7-most-profoundly-depressing-celebrity-cruises/ The 7 Most Profoundly Depressing Celebrity Cruises]]"

-->--'''[[http://www.gq.com/blogs/the-feed/2015/02/50-shades-of-grey-drew-magar.html Drew Magary]]''', "Why You'll Probably Never Write Anything as Successful as ''Literature/FiftyShadesOfGrey''"

-->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' [[http://www.agonybooth.com/tv/Tonight_Show_Will_Fallon_Outlast_Conan.aspx on]] ''Series/TheTonightShow''

-->--'''Creator/BobChipman''' on ''Film/ScottPilgrimVsTheWorld'', [[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/the-big-picture/3281-The-Numbers "The Numbers"]]

-->--'''[[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/video-games/issues/issue_68/396-Red-vs-Blue-Makes-Green.3 The Escapist]]'''

->''Nine-tenths of existing books are nonsense, and the clever books are the refutation of that nonsense.''

->''The average detective story is probably no worse than the average novel, but you never see the average novel. It doesn't get published. The average -- or only slightly above average -- detective story does.''

->"They say that 90% of TV is junk. But 90% of everything is junk."
-->--'''Creator/GeneRoddenberry'''

-->--'''Creator/GoreVidal'''

-->--'''Creator/JimCarrey''' on difficulties working with Creator/TommyLeeJones

-->--'''Creator/MickeyRourke'''

-->--'''Creator/RyanPhillippe'''

->''Ryan never mentions what his 5 ‘good’ films are, but let’s hop over to his Website/IMDb page and see if we can’t figure out what 5 movies he’s talking about. Clearly ''Film/MacGruber'' is #1.''
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2014/10/21/ryan-phillippe-has-only-made-5-good-movies-says-ryan-phillippe/ Michael K.]]''', in response to the above quote

-->--'''Stuart Millard''', ''So Excited, So Scared''

-->--'''Noam Chomsky''', 2007

-->--'''John Wilson''', [[http://awardswatch.com/news/interview-razzies-founder-john-wilson/ giving one reason why he created the]] Usefulnotes/GoldenRaspberryAward.

-->'''Music/BoBunham''', "Welcome to the Internet"

->''"This much is known: For every line or forthright statement there are leagues of senseless cacophony, verbal nonsense, and incoherency."''

There's fifty-seven channnels and nothin' on''

->{{Series/Coach}}'' was on for NINE SEASONS. NINE. Really? I think I saw it once and was like, oh, the theme is guys are funny cuz’ they’re stupid *eye-roll* and wow, Shelly Fabrares has some big, red hair. She was like the proto-[[{{WesternAnimation/Brave}} Merida]].''
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/03/27/are-there-that-many-coach-fans-out-there-who-needed-a-sequel/ J. Harvey]]''', "Are There That Many “Coach” Fans Out There Who Needed A Sequel?"

-->--'''[[http://www.gq.com/blogs/the-feed/2015/02/50-shades-of-grey-drew-magar.html Drew Magary]]''', "Why You'll Probably Never Write Anything as Successful as ''Fifty Shades of Grey''"

->''There’s a good reason history has forgotten so many of these songs: ''NOW'' is a Whitman's Sampler of crap.''

->''For most people, the big event of 1967 wasn’t the 14-Hour Technicolor Dream, with its Music/PinkFloyd performance and Creator/YokoOno art happening, but Steve and Elsie Tanner marrying in ''Series/CoronationStreet''. The big hit singles of 1967 weren’t psychedelic freak-outs but Music/PetulaClark and Music/EnglebertHumperdinck.''

-->-- '''Fry''' on ''Series/StarTrekTheOriginalSeries'', ''WesternAnimation/{{Futurama}}''

-->-- '''{{God}}''', ''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons''

->"I’ve made 30-plus films over 20 years. And in my opinion, five of them are good."
-->--'''Ryan Phillippe'''

->''When you see that many films, you realize that the odds are it doesn’t favor with the Usefulnotes/{{Academy|Award}}’s thoughts, it favors with the [[Usefulnotes/GoldenRaspberryAward Razzies]]' thoughts. A lot more crud gets out there than quality work.''

-->--'''Ryan Phillipe'''

->How many [[{{Tragedy}} dramas]] have you in France, {{s|trawCritic}}ir?" said [[ThePollyanna Candide]] to the [[GrumpyOldMan Abbé]].\\

"What a number!" said [[TheEeyore Martin]].

->''"I think it may be the best thing I've written in years. It could also be utter and complete shit. But when I can't tell the difference, that's a good sign."''

->''"Well now home entertainment was my baby's wish\\

There's fifty-seven channnels and nothin' on"''

->''"Jesse James is played by Creator/ColinFarrell, who turned on instant star quality in UsefulNotes/TheVietnamWar picture ''Tigerland'' (2001) and [[MoneyDearBoy turns it off here]]. That this movie got a theatrical push and ''Tigerland'' didn't is proof that American distribution resembles a crapshoot."''

->''"[[Music/TheNotoriousBIG Biggie]] dead. [[Music/TupacShakur Tupac]] dead. Music/VanillaIce '''still alive!'''"''

->''"We live in a world where Music/JohnLennon was murdered, yet Music/BarryManilow continues to put out fucking albums. God''dammit!'' If you're gonna kill somebody, have some fucking taste. I'll drive you to Music/KennyRogers' house."''

->''"We live in a country where Music/JohnLennon takes six bullets in the chest. Music/YokoOno is standing right next to him,'' not one fucking bullet! ''Explain that to me! Explain it to me, God! Explain it to me, God! I want it explained to me now! JESUS!"''
-->-- '''Creator/DenisLeary''', ''No Cure for Cancer''

->''"*sigh* Novels nowadays are all basically copies of each other. Don't modern authors have any pride? Or are they naught but soulless mercenary hacks?"''

[[folder:Web Video]]

->Exceptionalism is the exception my friends. The brilliant, complex and challenging falls by the wayside, while [[FollowTheLeader the safe and the familiar]] is the norm.
-->-- '''''WebVideo/RedLetterMedia''''' on ''{{Film/Titanic 1997}}''

->Of all the poorly animated, poorly written and just downright poor animated shows that came out of the 1980s...this was one of 'em!
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''' on ''Series/TheSuperMarioBrosSuperShow''

->Yes, the diabolical Clown Prince of hip-hop, [[SpellMyNameWithAThe The Biz]]. He looked like [[KavorkaMan a cartoon character]]. He sang [[GiftedlyBad like a dying walrus]]. He rapped like he'd just had [[TheUnintelligible his tonsils removed]]. And yet he powered his way to a Top 10 hit.
-->--'''WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows''' on Biz Markie, "One Hit Wonderland"

->Since the Internet is almost diametrically opposed to the notion of quality control, in recent years it's been a lot easier to just assume everything's shit until it can prove itself otherwise. I like to call it the "[[CausticCritic Guantanamo Bay]]" approach to reviewing.

->''"I didn't expect to hear any more from this franchise, but I guess if you feed humanity flavourless wallpaper paste for decades then you shouldn't be surprised if that's all they want to eat now."''
-->--'''''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''''' on ''VideoGame/Uncharted2AmongThieves''

->''"Do I have to accept that WWE shits upon its own legacy by celebrating base wrestlers, gimmicks instead of actual men, or uninspired performers? Why do they do this?\\\
Fine. If I am going to continue to write a blog about the WWE Hall of Fame, I must accept that Wrestling/VinceMcMahon and his corporate team [[YouKeepUsingThatWord don’t understand what a Hall of Fame is supposed to be.]] Fine. Fine."''
-->--'''[[http://wwehalloffameblog.com/category/class-of-2015/page/3/ James Ferrarella]]'''

->''"''Coach'' was on for NINE SEASONS. NINE. Really? I think I saw it once and was like, oh, the theme is [[NeverHeardThatOneBefore guys are funny cuz’ they’re stupid]] *eye-roll* and wow, Shelly Fabrares has some big,red hair. She was like the proto-[[{{WesternAnimation/Brave}} Merida]]."''

->''The {{Creator/Gallagher}} of our generation. Creator/DaneCook is a "comedian" that everyone seems to love despite his extreme mediocrity. His amazing lack of jokes combined with his ability to run around the stage like a five-year-old without his meds appeals to anyone without a soul or any knowledge of comedy. His [[CaptainObvious trite and obvious observations]] contain no punchlines and often appeal to people with short attention spans.\\\
''You ever go into the bathroom and everything is WET? The floor is wet! The counters are wet! Everything's wet! --Dane Cook''\\\
''Uh... could it be because people piss on the floor and wash their hands aggressively? --Andy Kindler

->''"Many words have been spilled to attempt to explain what the hell happened. And it's genuinely difficult to explain...But setting aside the 'why' -- a topic that there's [[RiddleForTheAges never going to be a clear cut answer for anyway]] -- the fact remains that in 1980, ''Series/BuckRogersInTheTwentyFifthCentury'' was immediately and directly more popular than ''Series/DoctorWho''. This fact, it must be noted, is downright depressing. Because ''Buck Rogers in the 25th Century'' is not even remotely a good show."''

->''"Every now and again every element of a story comes together perfectly and stories like ''[[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS12E4GenesisOfTheDaleks}} Genesis of the Daleks]]'' and ''[[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS21E6TheCavesOfAndrozani}} Caves of Androzani]]'' are created for posterity. To keep the universe in balance there are also times when everything that can possibly go wrong does so and the end result looks a lot like ''The Mutants''."''
-->--'''[[http://docohobigfinish.blogspot.co.uk/2013/06/the-mutants-written-by-bob-baker-dave.html Joe Ford]]''' on ''Series/DoctorWho'', [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS9E4TheMutants}} "The Mutants"]]

->''"Numerous cruises get canceled each year because there's not enough interest, including a horror cruise that would have included Music/AliceCooper, [[Creator/TonyTodd Candyman]], [[Creator/KaneHodder Kane "Jason" Hodder]], and director of ''Film/JohnDiesAtTheEnd'' Don Coscarelli. That cruise didn't sell enough tickets, but [[RacistGrandma Paula Deen]] is booked through 2014. What a sick world we live in."''

->''"Bad books become bestsellers all the time. And even more great books sell four copies and die a quick death. No one knows why...Anyone trying to figure out why is just a media fartsniffer trying to sell you on their supposedly brilliant ability to psychoanalyze 350 million Americans en masse."''

->So a gamer in early 1995 was looking at [[UsefulNotes/SegaSaturn a Sega system]] that cost $399 and only had six titles:\\
· ''VideoGame/VirtuaFighter'': A nice try.\\
· ''VideoGame/PanzerDragoon:'' Sweet!\\
· ''Sega Sports: Worldwide Soccer'': [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin Soccer.]]\\
· ''Bug!'': Bug!\\
· ''Sega Sports: Daytona USA'': Racing.\\
· ''Clockwork Knight'': [[DarthWiki/SoBadItsHorrible Fuck this.]]
-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', "The 5 Worst Marketing Failures in Video Games"

->''"The symbolism hurt just as bad as the financial loss: Not only did the bold, risky project get crushed at the American box office, it got crushed by ''Film/TheExpendables'', a cynical, pandering cash-grab that couldn't be a more generic-safe-bet-cookie-cutter-assembly-line blockbuster. After an experience like that, is it any wonder that ''any'' studio would suddenly reconsider betting on risky, "big idea" projects?"''

->There’s a good reason history has forgotten so many of these songs: ''NOW'' is a Whitman's Sampler of crap.

->''"Art is speech, and democratic society has long understood that respecting freedom of speech exposes us to reams of stupid speech. That is a very small price to pay for the freedom to share thought and learn and grow as individuals and cultures."''

->''"For most people, the big event of 1967 wasn’t the 14-Hour Technicolor Dream, with its Pink Floyd performance and Yoko Ono art happening, but Steve and Elsie Tanner marrying in ''Series/CoronationStreet''. The big hit singles of 1967 weren’t psychedelic freak-outs but Petula Clark and Englebert Humperdinck."''
-->-- '''Andrew''' of "[[http://mindlessones.com/ The Mindless Ones]]", reviewing ''Comicbook/TheLeagueOfExtraordinaryGentlemen: [[http://mindlessones.com/2011/08/07/the-league-of-extraordinary-gentlemen-century-1969-the-annocommentations-part-iii/ Century 1969]]'' and disputing the above.

->''Why do I read fan fiction?'' The basic reason is exactly the same reason I read anything— some of it is of astounding quality. I think fan fiction is often saddled with the image of being written solely by beginners and being uniformly terrible. But it’s like any other kind of fiction. You have beginners, you have the competent, you have the talented and experienced.

->79 episodes, about 30 good ones.

->Don't feel bad, Homer. Nine out of ten religions fail in their first year.

->Nine- tenths of existing books are nonsense, and the clever books are the refutation of that nonsense.

->The average detective story is probably no worse than the average novel, but you never see the average novel. It doesn't get published. The average -- or only slightly above average -- detective story does.

->Unlike most writers, my competitive instinct -- though highly developed -- [[NothingPersonal was never personal]]. That is to say, I have never begrudged another writer his success, but I have sometimes deplored the taste of the moment that has made what I thought bad work successful. Happily, since injustice is the rule, one is quite as apt [[SpringtimeForHitler to be its beneficiary]] as its victim.

->At one stage I did set fire to a whole pile of disco records and declare that disco was dead. I think within a month there were three disco tracks in the top ten, so it wasn't a great gesture.

->The animes represent a wide body of entertainment which includes some good stuff, as well as an absolutely incomprehensible amount of shit. Like anything.

->Sometimes that Rhodes Scholarship is more of a weapon than an asset. I think he was just a little freaked out because ''Film/DumbAndDumber'' came out on the same weekend as ''Cobb'', and ''Cobb'' was his big swing for the fences and [[MagnumOpusDissonance that didn’t work out]], and that freaked him out a bit.

->You can be less than mediocre and be a fucking movie star. I have respect for very few actors and actresses. Some of them get a lot of acclaim but just because their movie made $200 million at the box office; they still suck. I got no respect for them and I used to let them know it.
-->--'''Mickey Rourke'''

->I’ve made 30-plus films over 20 years. And in my opinion, [[CreatorBacklash five of them are good.]]

->Ryan never mentions what his 5 ‘good’ films are, but let’s hop over to his Website/IMDb page and see if we can’t figure out what 5 movies he’s talking about. Clearly ''Film/MacGruber'' is #1.

->Mass appreciation doesn't always equate to something good. [[HitlerAteSugar Think of Hitler!]]
-->--'''Jamie Dornan''' promoting(?) ''Film/FiftyShadesOfGrey''

->''Series/{{ALF}}'', with its sassy alien puppet that ate cats and cracked wise, for a time, was one of the biggest shows in the world, but you'll never find anyone who can quote a single line or recall a memorable scene. Among the series that did survive as much-loved squares of the nostalgia quilt that we snuggle beneath, is a seeming aberration that could well have been consigned to the same dumpster containing the rotting, [[UncleTomfoolery racist]] corpse of [[Series/PerfectStrangers Balki Bartokomous]].

->The internet does, as you say, provide opportunities to obtain information and an extremely wide variety of viewpoints. That's a good in itself. But there is a downside. The downside is that you are so flooded with material that unless you have an understanding of the world that is sufficient to allow you to be selective, you can be drawn into completely crazed cocoons of wild interpretation.

->In 1980 I was working for a company that was a sponsor for a film festival, and the deal that I cut with my boss was that I would do all the paperwork and promoting the festival, but that meant I got first dibs at all of the tickets. So in 1980, I checked the list, and I saw 253 films in one year. When you see that many films, you realize that the odds are it doesn’t favor with the Usefulnotes/{{Academy|Award}}’s thoughts, it favors with the [[Usefulnotes/GoldenRaspberryAward Razzies]]' thoughts. A lot more crud gets out there than quality work.

->But for all this activity, not many other machinima titles will hold a film fan's interest. Given the low barriers to entry, why haven't we already seen an explosion of great machinima, a thousand hilarious [[Machinima/RedVsBlue Reds vs. ten thousand brilliant Blues]]? For the same reason we didn't see a million great novels after we got word processors, or a flood of tremendous indie films when video cameras got cheap. It's hard work! Go to Lionhead's ''Videogame/TheMovies'' site and blow a heart-sinking half-hour browsing some of its thousands of two-minute mediocrities. You'll confront the perennial problem with user-generated content: Most creators stink.
-->--'''[[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/video-games/issues/issue_68/396-Red-vs-Blue-Makes-Green.3 The Escapist]]'''

->"They say that 90% of TV is junk. But 90% of everything is junk."
-->--'''Creator/GeneRoddenberry'''

->"Those big-shot writers could never dig the fact that there are more salted peanuts consumed than caviar... If the public likes you, you're good."
-->-- '''Creator/MickeySpillane'''

->They say that 90% of TV is junk. But 90% of everything is junk.

->"*sigh* Novels nowadays are all basically copies of each other. Don't modern authors have any pride? Or are they naught but soulless mercenary hacks?"

[[folder:Video Games]]

->"*sigh* Novels nowadays are all basically copies of each other. Don't modern authors have any pride? Or are they naught but soulless mercenary hacks?"
-->--NPC '''Satomi''', ''VideoGame/TokyoXanadu''

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Video]]

->Exceptionalism is the exception my friends. The brilliant, complex and challenging falls by the wayside, while [[FollowTheLeader the safe and the familiar]] is the norm.
-->-- '''''WebVideo/RedLetterMedia''''' on ''{{Film/Titanic 1997}}''

->Of all the poorly animated, poorly written and just downright poor animated shows that came out of the 1980s...this was one of 'em!
-->-- '''WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic''' on ''Series/TheSuperMarioBrosSuperShow''

->Yes, the diabolical Clown Prince of hip-hop, [[SpellMyNameWithAThe The Biz]]. He looked like [[KavorkaMan a cartoon character]]. He sang [[GiftedlyBad like a dying walrus]]. He rapped like he'd just had [[TheUnintelligible his tonsils removed]]. And yet he powered his way to a Top 10 hit.
-->--'''WebVideo/ToddInTheShadows''' on Biz Markie, "One Hit Wonderland"

->Since the Internet is almost diametrically opposed to the notion of quality control, in recent years it's been a lot easier to just assume everything's shit until it can prove itself otherwise. I like to call it the "[[CausticCritic Guantanamo Bay]]" approach to reviewing.
-->-- '''WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation''', ''Mailbag Showdown''

[[/folder]]

[[folder:podcasts]]

->'''Jay:''' So, not only did they ''not'' want to make a Creator/JamesCameron/Creator/RidleyScott/Creator/SigourneyWeaver ''{{Film/Alien}}'' movie, they wanted to make a PG-13 ''Alien Vs. Predator'' [[LighterAndSofter kiddie movie.]]\\
'''Rich:''' That's so missing the point. At least as far as the ''Predator'' movie goes.\\
'''Jay:''' You know what? Whichever movie executive made that decision? From a financial point, it worked out, 'cause this was the most financially-successful movie in the series of movies.\\
'''Rich:''' Are you kidding?\\
'''Jay:''' I'm not kidding.\\
'''Rich:''' Oh, now I'm sad. Everything about this movie is depressing.
-->-- ''WebVideo/HalfInTheBag'', ''Film/AVPAlienVsPredator'' rifftrack

[[/folder]]

->But for all this activity, not many other machinima titles will hold a film fan's interest. Given the low barriers to entry, why haven't we already seen an explosion of great machinima, a thousand hilarious [[Machinimima/RedVsBlue Reds vs. ten thousand brilliant Blues]]? For the same reason we didn't see a million great novels after we got word processors, or a flood of tremendous indie films when video cameras got cheap. It's hard work! Go to Lionhead's ''Videogame/TheMovies'' site and blow a heart-sinking half-hour browsing some of its thousands of two-minute mediocrities. You'll confront the perennial problem with user-generated content: Most creators stink.

-->--'''[[http://www.eruditorumpress.com/blog/pop-between-realities-home-in-time-for-tea-24-quatermass-day-of-the-triffids-blakes-7-buck-rogers-in-the-25th-century-alien-sapphire-and-steel/ Phil Sandifer]]'''

->They say that 90% of TV is junk. But 90% of everything is junk.
-->--'''Creator/GeneRoddenberry'''

-->--'''Creator/GeneRiddenberry'''

[[folder:Web Animation]]

[[/folder]]

[[folder:Web Original]]

-->In 1980 I was working for a company that was a sponsor for a film festival, and the deal that I cut with my boss was that I would do all the paperwork and promoting the festival, but that meant I got first dibs at all of the tickets. So in 1980, I checked the list, and I saw 253 films in one year. When you see that many films, you realize that the odds are it doesn’t favor with the Usefulnotes/{{Academy|Award}}’s thoughts, it favors with the [[Usefulnotes/GoldenRaspberryAward Razzies]]' thoughts. A lot more crud gets out there than quality work.

->''"Jesse James is played by Creator/ColinFarrell, who turned on instant star quality in the {{Vietnam War}} picture ''Tigerland'' (2001) and [[MoneyDearBoy turns it off here]]. That this movie got a theatrical push and ''Tigerland'' didn't is proof that American distribution resembles a crapshoot."''

-->--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' [[http://www.agonybooth.com/tv/Tonight_Show_Will_Fallon_Outlast_Conan.aspx on]] ''TheTonightShow''