History Quotes / StepfordSnarker

-->--'''[[Characters/GrandTheftAutoVMichaelDeSanta Michael de Santa]]''' giving us wonderful recap of the past events, VideoGame/GrandTheftAutoV

->'' "A few weeks ago I was hapilly retired sulking by my swimming pool, and my [[Characters/GrandTheftAutoVTrevorPhilips psychotic best friend]] shows up out of nowhere to torture me over mistakes I made, honest mistakes I've made over a decade ago! We, our little posse are flat fucking broke [[MakesSenseInContext but hey let's spend two million dollars to tandem rotor fucking chopper so I can go steal nerve gas from fucking terrorists!]] Forgive me, you '''[[Characters/GrandTheftAutoVTrevorPhilips ignorant fuck]]''', but sarcasm '''is all I fucking got!'''''

->'''[[ComicBook/IronMan Tony]]:''' ''Have you noticed the closer we get to uncomfortable truths, the more jokes per minute you make?''\\
'''Peter:''' ''That's not true.''\\
'''Tony:''' ''No?''\\

'''Peter:''' ''So this talking horse walks into a bar -''\\
'''Tony:''' ''I rest my case''.

->'''Kevin Cozner:''' ''Because he's gay, Raymond has been put through hell by his colleagues. Many of whom, to put it frankly, look exactly like you.''\\
'''Detective Jake Peralta:''' ''Devastatingly handsome?'' ''[Kevin frowns]'' ''Sorry, [[LampshadeHanging I'm not comfortable with emotions.]]''

->'''[[ComicBook/IronMan Tony]]:''' Have you noticed the closer we get to uncomfortable truths, the more jokes per minute you make?\\
'''Peter:''' That's not true.\\
'''Tony:''' No?\\

'''Peter:''' So this talking horse walks into a bar -\\
'''Tony:''' I rest my case.

->'''Kevin Cozner:''' Because he's gay, Raymond has been put through hell by his colleagues. Many of whom, to put it frankly, look exactly like you.\\
'''Detective Jake Peralta:''' Devastatingly handsome? ''[Kevin frowns]'' Sorry, [[LampshadeHanging I'm not comfortable with emotions.]]

->I have never "broken down", as opposed to slowly crumbling.

->Lulz is engaged in by Internet users who have witnessed one major economic/environmental/political disaster too many, and who thus view a state of voluntary, gleeful sociopathy over the world's current apocalyptic state, as superior to being continually {{emo}}.

->The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there - on such short notice! Even if I wanted to go my schedule wouldn't allow it.

->''7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing.'' I'm booked!

->You know, [[FreudianExcuse I think it all started with my father,]] the emptiness I mean. It's a defense mechanism. [[WellDoneSonGuy I was scared, I would never earn his respect,]] [[BrokenBird so I shut down.]] Built up a wall of sarcasm and quips, so I wouldn't have to feel.

->I've always admired your ability to make jokes when faced with adversity.

->I can't help it. I use my rapier wit to hide my inner pain.

->One must remember that a comedian cries by laughing.

->''"Hi, I'm Chandler. I make jokes when I'm uncomfortable"''

-->-- ''Franchise/SpiderMan''

->''7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing,'' I'm booked!

->''7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing.''

->The nerve of those Whos. Inviting me down there - on such short notice! Even if I wanted to go my schedule wouldn't allow it.

->''7:00, wrestle with my self-loathing...'' I'm booked! Of course, if I bump the loathing to 9, I could still be done in time to lay in bed, stare at the ceiling and slip slowly into madness...But what would I wear?

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-->--'''TheGrinch''', ''Film/HowTheGrinchStoleChristmas''

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-->--''Encyclopedia Dramatica''

-->-- ''Series/BrooklynNineNine''

-->'''Kevin Cozner:''' Because he's gay, Raymond has been put through hell by his colleagues. Many of whom, to put it frankly, look exactly like you.\\

->'''[[ComicBook/IronMan Tony]]:''' Have you noticed the closer we get to uncomfortable truths, the more jokes per minute you make?
->'''Peter:''' That's not true.
->'''Tony:''' No?
-> ''(BeatPanel)''
->'''Peter:''' So this talking horse walks into a bar -
->'''Tony:''' I rest my case.