History Quotes / SchlockMercenary

24th Sep '17 3:21:12 AM QuestionMarker
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->'''Doctor Bunnigus:''' Sergeant, what have we said about you and the practice of psychology?
->'''Schlock:''' Don't practice on real people?
22nd Sep '17 8:57:18 AM Lopiny
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->'''Schlock:''' The box said "Blattco Clawhammer" but I think it just shoots regular bullets...
->'''Ebbirnoth:''' If you ever '''do''' find a gun [[AbnormalAmmo that fires hammers]], you are under explicit orders to put it back where you found it.
22nd Sep '17 8:41:37 AM Lopiny
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->''There aren't many ways to defend against a weapon that fires inside a vessel's shields. There are even fewer ways to defend against a weapon that [[WeaponizedTeleportation fires inside the vessel's hull]].''
13th Sep '17 5:25:23 PM CurledUpWithDakka
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->'''Tailor:''' I'll only take a couple of minutes. I have just decided to skip the part where I skip anesthetic.\\

to:

->'''Tailor:''' I'll only take a couple of minutes. I have just decided to skip the part where I skip use anesthetic.\\
31st May '17 1:59:41 PM CurledUpWithDakka
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-->--''[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2014-05-12 Book 15 ("Delegates and Delegations"), Part I]]''

to:

-->--''[[http://www.--> ''[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2014-05-12 Book 15 ("Delegates and Delegations"), Part I]]''
11th Apr '17 9:09:51 AM Discar
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'''MAXIM 2''': A sergeant in motion outranks a lieutenant who doesn’t know what’s going on.\\

to:

'''MAXIM 2''': A sergeant in motion outranks a lieutenant who doesn’t doesn't know what’s what's going on.\\



'''MAXIM 6''': If violence wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.\\

to:

'''MAXIM 6''': If violence wasn’t wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.\\



'''MAXIM 8''': Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it’s on the far side of the air lock.\\

to:

'''MAXIM 8''': Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it’s it's on the far side of the air lock.\\



'''MAXIM 14''': “Mad science” means never stopping to ask “what’s the worst thing that could happen?”\\

to:

'''MAXIM 14''': “Mad science” "Mad science" means never stopping to ask “what’s "what's the worst thing that could happen?”\\happen?"\\



'''MAXIM 19''': The world is richer when you turn enemies into friends, but that’s not the same as you being richer.\\
'''MAXIM 20''': If you’re not willing to shell your own position, you’re not willing to win.\\
'''MAXIM 21''': Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he’s lucky just to be alive, and he’ll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow.\\
'''MAXIM 22''': If you can see the whites of their eyes, somebody’s done something wrong.\\

to:

'''MAXIM 19''': The world is richer when you turn enemies into friends, but that’s that's not the same as you being richer.\\
'''MAXIM 20''': If you’re you're not willing to shell your own position, you’re you're not willing to win.\\
'''MAXIM 21''': Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he’s he's lucky just to be alive, and he’ll he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow.\\
'''MAXIM 22''': If you can see the whites of their eyes, somebody’s somebody's done something wrong.\\



'''MAXIM 25''': If a manufacturer’s warranty covers the damage you did, you didn’t do enough damage.\\
'''MAXIM 26''': “Fire and forget” is fine, provided you never actually forget.\\
'''MAXIM 27''': Don’t be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.\\

to:

'''MAXIM 25''': If a manufacturer’s manufacturer's warranty covers the damage you did, you didn’t didn't do enough damage.\\
'''MAXIM 26''': “Fire "Fire and forget” forget" is fine, provided you never actually forget.\\
'''MAXIM 27''': Don’t Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.\\



'''MAXIM 29''': The enemy of my enemy is my enemy’s enemy, no more, no less.\\
'''MAXIM 30''': A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you’ll go.\\

to:

'''MAXIM 29''': The enemy of my enemy is my enemy’s enemy's enemy, no more, no less.\\
'''MAXIM 30''': A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you’ll you'll go.\\



'''MAXIM 33''': If you’re leaving tracks, you’re being followed.\\
'''MAXIM 34''': If you’re leaving scorch marks, you need a bigger gun.\\

to:

'''MAXIM 33''': If you’re you're leaving tracks, you’re you're being followed.\\
'''MAXIM 34''': If you’re you're leaving scorch marks, you need a bigger gun.\\



'''MAXIM 37''': There is no “overkill.” There is only “open fire” and “reload.”\\
'''MAXIM 38''': What’s easy for you can still be hard on your clients.\\
'''MAXIM 39''': There is a difference between “spare” parts and “extra” parts.\\

to:

'''MAXIM 37''': There is no “overkill.” "overkill." There is only “open fire” "open fire" and “reload.”\\
"reload."\\
'''MAXIM 38''': What’s What's easy for you can still be hard on your clients.\\
'''MAXIM 39''': There is a difference between “spare” "spare" parts and “extra” "extra" parts.\\



'''MAXIM 41''': “Do you have a backup?” means “I can’t fix this.”\\
'''MAXIM 42''': “They’ll never expect this” means “I want to try something stupid.”\\
'''MAXIM 43''': If it’s stupid and it works, it’s still stupid and you’re lucky.\\

to:

'''MAXIM 41''': “Do "Do you have a backup?” backup?" means “I can’t "I can't fix this.”\\
"\\
'''MAXIM 42''': “They’ll "They'll never expect this” this" means “I "I want to try something stupid.”\\
"\\
'''MAXIM 43''': If it’s it's stupid and it works, it’s it's still stupid and you’re you're lucky.\\



'''MAXIM 46''': Don’t try to save money by conserving ammunition.\\
'''MAXIM 47''': Don’t expect the enemy to cooperate in the creation of your dream engagement.\\
'''MAXIM 48''': If it ain’t broke, it hasn’t been issued to the infantry.\\

to:

'''MAXIM 46''': Don’t Don't try to save money by conserving ammunition.\\
'''MAXIM 47''': Don’t Don't expect the enemy to cooperate in the creation of your dream engagement.\\
'''MAXIM 48''': If it ain’t ain't broke, it hasn’t hasn't been issued to the infantry.\\



'''MAXIM 52''': The army you’ve got is never the army you want.\\
'''MAXIM 53''': The intel you’ve got is never the intel you want.\\
'''MAXIM 54''': It’s only too many troops if you can’t pay them.\\
'''MAXIM 55''': It’s only too many weapons if they’re pointing in the wrong direction\\

to:

'''MAXIM 52''': The army you’ve you've got is never the army you want.\\
'''MAXIM 53''': The intel you’ve you've got is never the intel you want.\\
'''MAXIM 54''': It’s It's only too many troops if you can’t can't pay them.\\
'''MAXIM 55''': It’s It's only too many weapons if they’re they're pointing in the wrong direction\\



'''MAXIM 60''': Any weapon’s rate of fire is inversely proportional to the number of available targets.\\
'''MAXIM 61''': Don’t bring big grenades into small rooms.\\
'''MAXIM 62''': Anything labeled “This end toward enemy” is dangerous at both ends.\\

to:

'''MAXIM 60''': Any weapon’s weapon's rate of fire is inversely proportional to the number of available targets.\\
'''MAXIM 61''': Don’t Don't bring big grenades into small rooms.\\
'''MAXIM 62''': Anything labeled “This "This end toward enemy” enemy" is dangerous at both ends.\\



'''MAXIM 67''': If you can’t carry cash, carry a weapon.\\
'''MAXIM 68''': Negotiating from a position of strength does not mean you shouldn’t also negotiate from a position near the exits.\\

to:

'''MAXIM 67''': If you can’t can't carry cash, carry a weapon.\\
'''MAXIM 68''': Negotiating from a position of strength does not mean you shouldn’t shouldn't also negotiate from a position near the exits.\\



'''MAXIM 70''': Failure isn’t an option. It’s mandatory. The option is whether or not to let failure be the last thing you do.

to:

'''MAXIM 70''': Failure isn’t isn't an option. It’s It's mandatory. The option is whether or not to let failure be the last thing you do.



''Parrot’s Dead''\\

to:

''Parrot’s ''Parrot's Dead''\\
5th Feb '17 5:45:24 PM CurledUpWithDakka
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->'''Schlock:''' ''[unhappily]''' [[AintNoRule There's gonna be a new rule now, just for me]].

to:

->'''Schlock:''' ''[unhappily]''' ''[unhappily]'' [[AintNoRule There's gonna be a new rule now, just for me]].
5th Feb '17 5:38:33 PM CurledUpWithDakka
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-->-- [http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-08-17]]]

to:

-->-- [http://www.[[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2001-08-17]]]
com/2001-08-17]]
5th Jan '17 2:17:28 PM Eps05
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''Vredefort''

to:

''Vredefort''
''Vredefort''\\
''Chesapeake''\\
''Manicouagan''
14th Dec '16 7:32:12 AM Kalaong
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->'''Kevyn:''' Before any of you unwisely take this as your cue to step further out of line than you were already planning to, I'd like to say two words in my capacity as the company's munitions commander and resident mad scientist: ''guinea pigs.''

to:

->'''Kevyn:''' ->([[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2004-10-06 10-6-04]] ''and'' [[http://www.schlockmercenary.com/2005-04-16 4-16-05]]) '''Kevyn:''' Before any of you unwisely take this as your cue to step further out of line than you were already planning to, I'd like to say two words in my capacity as the company's munitions commander and resident mad scientist: ''guinea pigs.''
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