History Quotes / SchlockMercenary

15th Oct '16 2:16:50 AM Kalaong
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!!From ''The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries''

->'''Maxim 1:''' Pillage, ''then'' burn.\\
'''Maxim 2:''' A Sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant who doesn't know what's going on.\\
'''Maxim 3:''' An Ordnance Technician at a dead run outranks ''everybody''.\\
'''Maxim 4:''' Close air support covereth a multitude of sins.\\
'''Maxim 5:''' Close air support and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart.\\
'''Maxim 6:''' If violence wasn't your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.\\
'''Maxim 7:''' If the food is good enough the grunts will stop complaining about the incoming fire.\\
'''Maxim 8:''' Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's on the far side of the airlock.\\
'''Maxim 9:''' Never turn your back on an enemy.\\
'''Maxim 10:''' Sometimes the only way out is through...through the hull.\\
'''Maxim 11:''' Everything is air-droppable at least once.\\
'''Maxim 12:''' A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.\\
'''Maxim 13:''' Do unto others.\\
'''Maxim 14:''' "Mad Science" means never stopping to ask "what's the worst thing that could happen?"\\
'''Maxim 15:''' Only you can prevent friendly fire.\\
'''Maxim 16:''' Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth.\\
'''Maxim 17:''' The longer everything goes according to plan, the bigger the impending disaster.\\
'''Maxim 18:''' If the officers are leading from in front, watch out for an attack from the rear.\\
'''Maxim 19:''' The world is richer when you turn enemies into friends, but that's not the same as you being richer.\\
'''Maxim 20:''' If you're not willing to shell your own position, you're not willing to win.\\
'''Maxim 21:''' Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's lucky just to be alive, and he'll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow.\\
'''Maxim 22:''' If you can see the whites of their eyes, somebody's done something wrong.\\
'''Maxim 23:''' The company mess and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart.\\
'''Maxim 24:''' Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a big gun.\\
'''Maxim 25:''' If the damage you do is covered by a manufacturer's warranty, you didn't do enough damage.\\
'''Maxim 27:''' Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.\\
'''Maxim 28:''' If the price of collateral damage is high enough, you might be able to get paid for bringing ammunition home with you.\\
'''Maxim 29:''' The enemy of my enemy is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.\\
'''Maxim 30:''' A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you'll go.\\
'''Maxim 31:''' Only cheaters prosper.\\
'''Maxim 32:''' Anything is amphibious if you can get it back out of the water.\\
'''Maxim 33:''' If you're leaving tracks, you're being followed.\\
'''Maxim 34:''' If you're leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun.\\
'''Maxim 35:''' That which does not kill you has made a tactical error.\\
'''Maxim 36:''' When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.\\
'''Maxim 37:''' There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'time to reload.'\\
'''Maxim 38:''' Just because it's easy for you doesn't mean it can't be hard on your clients.\\
'''Maxim 39:''' There is a difference between spare parts and [[WeHaveReserves extra]] parts.\\
'''Maxim 40:''' Not all good news is enemy action.\\
'''Maxim 41:''' "Do you have a backup?" means "I can't fix this."\\
'''Maxim 42:''' "They'll never expect this." means "I want to try something stupid."\\
'''Maxim 43:''' If it's stupid and it works, it's still stupid and you're lucky.\\
'''Maxim 44:''' If it will blow a hole in the ground, it will double as an entrenching tool.\\
'''Maxim 45:''' The size of the combat bonus is inversely proportional to the likelihood of surviving to collect it.\\
'''Maxim 46:''' Don't try to save money by conserving ammunition.\\
'''Maxim 47:''' Don't expect the enemy to cooperate in the creation of your dream engagement.\\
'''Maxim 48:''' If it ain't broke, it hasn't been issued to the infantry.\\
'''Maxim 49:''' Every client is one missed payment away from being a target.\\
'''Maxim 51:''' Let them see you sharpen the sword before you fall on it.\\
'''Maxim 61:''' Don't bring big grenades into small rooms.\\
'''Maxim 64:''' An ounce of sniper is worth a pound of suppressing fire.\\
'''Maxim 68:''' Negotiating from a position of strength does not mean you shouldn’t also negotiate from a position near the exits.\\
'''Maxim 70:''' Failure is not an option. It is mandatory. The option is whether or not to let failure be the last thing you do.

to:

!!From ''The !!''The Seventy Maxims of Maximally Effective Mercenaries''

->'''Maxim 1:''' ->'''MAXIM 1''': Pillage, ''then'' burn.\\
'''Maxim 2:''' '''MAXIM 2''': A Sergeant sergeant in motion outranks a Lieutenant lieutenant who doesn't doesn’t know what's what’s going on.\\
'''Maxim 3:''' '''MAXIM 3''': An Ordnance Technician ordnance technician at a dead run outranks ''everybody''.everybody.\\
'''Maxim 4:''' '''MAXIM 4''': Close air support covereth a multitude of sins.\\
'''Maxim 5:''' '''MAXIM 5''': Close air support and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart.\\
'''Maxim 6:''' '''MAXIM 6''': If violence wasn't wasn’t your last resort, you failed to resort to enough of it.\\
'''Maxim 7:''' '''MAXIM 7''': If the food is good enough the grunts will stop complaining about the incoming fire.\\
'''Maxim 8:''' '''MAXIM 8''': Mockery and derision have their place. Usually, it's it’s on the far side of the airlock.air lock.\\
'''Maxim 9:''' '''MAXIM 9''': Never turn your back on an enemy.\\
'''Maxim 10:''' '''MAXIM 10''': Sometimes the only way out is through...through through… Through the hull.\\
'''Maxim 11:''' '''MAXIM 11''': Everything is air-droppable at least once.\\
'''Maxim 12:''' '''MAXIM 12''': A soft answer turneth away wrath. Once wrath is looking the other way, shoot it in the head.\\
'''Maxim 13:''' '''MAXIM 13''': Do unto others.\\
'''Maxim 14:''' "Mad Science" '''MAXIM 14''': “Mad science” means never stopping to ask "what's “what’s the worst thing that could happen?"\\
'''Maxim 15:'''
happen?”\\
'''MAXIM 15''':
Only you can prevent friendly fire.\\
'''Maxim 16:''' '''MAXIM 16''': Your name is in the mouth of others: be sure it has teeth.\\
'''Maxim 17:''' '''MAXIM 17''': The longer everything goes according to plan, the bigger the impending disaster.\\
'''Maxim 18:''' '''MAXIM 18''': If the officers are leading from in front, watch out for an attack from the rear.\\
'''Maxim 19:''' '''MAXIM 19''': The world is richer when you turn enemies into friends, but that's that’s not the same as you being richer.\\
'''Maxim 20:''' '''MAXIM 20''': If you're you’re not willing to shell your own position, you're you’re not willing to win.\\
'''Maxim 21:''' '''MAXIM 21''': Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Take his fish away and tell him he's he’s lucky just to be alive, and he'll he’ll figure out how to catch another one for you to take tomorrow.\\
'''Maxim 22:''' '''MAXIM 22''': If you can see the whites of their eyes, somebody's somebody’s done something wrong.\\
'''Maxim 23:''' '''MAXIM 23''': The company mess and friendly fire should be easier to tell apart.\\
'''Maxim 24:''' '''MAXIM 24''': Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a big gun.\\
'''Maxim 25:''' '''MAXIM 25''': If a manufacturer’s warranty covers the damage you do is covered by a manufacturer's warranty, did, you didn't didn’t do enough damage.\\
'''Maxim 27:''' Don't be afraid to be the first to resort to violence.'''MAXIM 26''': “Fire and forget” is fine, provided you never actually forget.\\
'''Maxim 28:''' If '''MAXIM 27''': Don’t be afraid to be the price of collateral damage is high enough, you might be able first to get paid for bringing ammunition home with you.resort to violence.\\
'''Maxim 29:''' The enemy '''MAXIM 28''': If the price of my enemy collateral damage is my enemy's enemy. No more. No less.high enough, you might be able to get paid to bring ammunition home with you.\\
'''Maxim 30:''' A little trust goes a long way. '''MAXIM 29''': The less you use, the further you'll go.enemy of my enemy is my enemy’s enemy, no more, no less.\\
'''Maxim 31:''' Only cheaters prosper.'''MAXIM 30''': A little trust goes a long way. The less you use, the further you’ll go.\\
'''Maxim 32:''' Anything is amphibious if you can get it back out of the water.'''MAXIM 31''': Only cheaters prosper.\\
'''Maxim 33:''' If you're leaving tracks, you're being followed.'''MAXIM 32''': Anything is amphibious if you can get it back out of the water.\\
'''Maxim 34:''' '''MAXIM 33''': If you're you’re leaving scorch-marks, you need a bigger gun.tracks, you’re being followed.\\
'''Maxim 35:''' That which does not kill '''MAXIM 34''': If you’re leaving scorch marks, you has made need a tactical error.bigger gun.\\
'''Maxim 36:''' When the going gets tough, the tough call for close air support.'''MAXIM 35''': That which does not kill me has made a tactical error.\\
'''Maxim 37:''' There is no 'overkill.' There is only 'open fire' and 'time to reload.'\\
'''Maxim 38:''' Just because it's easy
'''MAXIM 36''': When the going gets tough, the tough call for you doesn't mean it can't be hard on your clients.close air support.\\
'''Maxim 39:''' '''MAXIM 37''': There is a difference between spare parts no “overkill.” There is only “open fire” and [[WeHaveReserves extra]] parts.“reload.”\\
'''MAXIM 38''': What’s easy for you can still be hard on your clients.
\\
'''Maxim 40:''' Not all good news '''MAXIM 39''': There is enemy action.a difference between “spare” parts and “extra” parts.\\
'''Maxim 41:''' "Do you have a backup?" means "I can't fix this."\\
'''Maxim 42:''' "They'll never expect this." means "I want to try something stupid."\\
'''Maxim 43:''' If it's stupid and it works, it's still stupid and you're lucky.
'''MAXIM 40''': Not all good news is enemy action.\\
'''Maxim 44:''' '''MAXIM 41''': “Do you have a backup?” means “I can’t fix this.”\\
'''MAXIM 42''': “They’ll never expect this” means “I want to try something stupid.”\\
'''MAXIM 43''':
If it’s stupid and it will blow a hole in the ground, it will double as an entrenching tool.works, it’s still stupid and you’re lucky.\\
'''Maxim 45:''' The size of '''MAXIM 44''': If it will blow a hole in the combat bonus is inversely proportional to the likelihood of surviving to collect it.ground, it will double as an entrenching tool.\\
'''Maxim 46:''' Don't try '''MAXIM 45''': The size of the combat bonus is inversely proportional to save money by conserving ammunition.the likelihood of surviving to collect it.\\
'''Maxim 47:''' Don't expect the enemy '''MAXIM 46''': Don’t try to cooperate in the creation of your dream engagement.save money by conserving ammunition.\\
'''Maxim 48:''' If it ain't broke, it hasn't been issued to '''MAXIM 47''': Don’t expect the infantry.enemy to cooperate in the creation of your dream engagement.\\
'''Maxim 49:''' Every client is one missed payment away from being a target.'''MAXIM 48''': If it ain’t broke, it hasn’t been issued to the infantry.\\
'''Maxim 51:''' Let them see you sharpen the sword before you fall on it.'''MAXIM 49''': Every client is one missed payment away from becoming a target, and every target is one bribe away from becoming a client.\\
'''Maxim 61:''' Don't bring big grenades into small rooms.'''MAXIM 50''': If it only works in exactly the way the manufacturer intended, it is defective.\\
'''Maxim 64:''' An ounce of sniper is worth a pound of suppressing fire.'''MAXIM 51''': Let them see you sharpen the sword before you fall on it.\\
'''Maxim 68:''' Negotiating from a position of strength does not mean '''MAXIM 52''': The army you’ve got is never the army you shouldn’t also negotiate from a position near the exits.want.\\
'''Maxim 70:''' '''MAXIM 53''': The intel you’ve got is never the intel you want.\\
'''MAXIM 54''': It’s only too many troops if you can’t pay them.\\
'''MAXIM 55''': It’s only too many weapons if they’re pointing in the wrong direction\\
'''MAXIM 56''': Infantry exists to paint targets for people with real guns.\\
'''MAXIM 57''': Artillery exists to launch large chunks of budget at an enemy it cannot actually see.\\
'''MAXIM 58''': The pen is mightiest when it writes orders for swords.\\
'''MAXIM 59''': Two wrongs is probably not going to be enough.\\
'''MAXIM 60''': Any weapon’s rate of fire is inversely proportional to the number of available targets.\\
'''MAXIM 61''': Don’t bring big grenades into small rooms.\\
'''MAXIM 62''': Anything labeled “This end toward enemy” is dangerous at both ends.\\
'''MAXIM 63''': The brass knows how to do it by knowing who can do it.\\
'''MAXIM 64''': An ounce of sniper is worth a pound of suppressing fire.\\
'''MAXIM 65''': After the toss, be the one with the pin, not the one with the grenade.\\
'''MAXIM 66''': Necessity is the mother of deception.\\
'''MAXIM 67''': If you can’t carry cash, carry a weapon.\\
'''MAXIM 68''': Negotiating from a position of strength does not mean you shouldn’t also negotiate from a position near the exits.\\
'''MAXIM 69''': Sometimes rank is a function of firepower.\\
'''MAXIM 70''':
Failure is not isn’t an option. It is It’s mandatory. The option is whether or not to let failure be the last thing you do.
do.
17th Sep '16 6:35:41 PM compro01
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'''Maxim 61:''' Don't bring big grenades into small rooms.\\



'''Maxim 68:''' Negotiating from a position of strength does not mean you shouldn’t also negotiate from a position near the exits.

to:

'''Maxim 68:''' Negotiating from a position of strength does not mean you shouldn’t also negotiate from a position near the exits.\\
'''Maxim 70:''' Failure is not an option. It is mandatory. The option is whether or not to let failure be the last thing you do.

19th Jan '16 6:53:30 AM Nohbody
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Added DiffLines:

'''Maxim 43:''' If it's stupid and it works, it's still stupid and you're lucky.\\


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'''Maxim 45:''' The size of the combat bonus is inversely proportional to the likelihood of surviving to collect it.\\
'''Maxim 46:''' Don't try to save money by conserving ammunition.\\


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'''Maxim 48:''' If it ain't broke, it hasn't been issued to the infantry.\\
18th Dec '15 6:04:16 AM Nohbody
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'''Maxim 64:''' An ounce of sniper is worth a pound of suppressing fire.

to:

'''Maxim 64:''' An ounce of sniper is worth a pound of suppressing fire.\\
18th Dec '15 6:03:56 AM Nohbody
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'''Maxim 51:''' Let them see you sharpen the sword before you fall on it.

to:

'''Maxim 51:''' Let them see you sharpen the sword before you fall on it.
it.\\
'''Maxim 64:''' An ounce of sniper is worth a pound of suppressing fire.
'''Maxim 68:''' Negotiating from a position of strength does not mean you shouldn’t also negotiate from a position near the exits.
8th Oct '15 9:21:07 AM dalek955
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Added DiffLines:


->'''Captain Tagon:''' I've been surprised enough today. Gimme a way to be surprising.
1st Jul '15 3:39:31 PM Eps05
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'''General Tagon:''' I sure hope not, ''captain.'' If you have to get your hands dirty on the little jobs, you've failed at your biggest job.\\
'''Captain Tagon:''' ''[to Kevyn]]'' Take this moment, and then close your eyes and try to imagine my entire childhood.

to:

'''General '''Commodore Tagon:''' I sure hope not, ''captain.'' If you have to get your hands dirty on the little jobs, you've failed at your biggest job.\\
'''Captain Tagon:''' ''[to Kevyn]]'' Kevyn]'' Take this moment, and then close your eyes and try to imagine my entire childhood.
2nd Jun '15 9:07:37 AM dalek955
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'''Bunningus:''' In the context of the medical weirdness going on here, I have to ask a stupid question: Was he a plant like a spy, or a plant like a preambulatory asparagus?\\

to:

'''Bunningus:''' '''Bunnigus:''' In the context of the medical weirdness going on here, I have to ask a stupid question: Was he a plant like a spy, or a plant like a preambulatory asparagus?\\



->'''Legs:''' I can't wait to tell Tagon that since he wouldn't ''give'' us a gunship, we had to ''steal one''.

to:

->'''Legs:''' I can't wait to tell Tagon that since he wouldn't ''give'' us a gunship, we had to ''steal one''.
''steal'' one.



'''Bunningus:''' That was before we stole their gunship.

to:

'''Bunningus:''' '''Bunnigus:''' That was before we stole their gunship.gunship.

->'''Kevyn:''' Can do, but I might have to suit up myself in order to hit an 0900 departure.\\
'''General Tagon:''' I sure hope not, ''captain.'' If you have to get your hands dirty on the little jobs, you've failed at your biggest job.\\
'''Captain Tagon:''' ''[to Kevyn]]'' Take this moment, and then close your eyes and try to imagine my entire childhood.
31st Mar '15 8:24:28 PM Brickman
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->'''Kathryn:''' Is the gunship ''really'' necessary, boys?\\
'''Thug:''' If you noticed it, then yes, it's necessary.

->'''Rafe:''' But you can ''fly''. Why would you ''walk'' anywhere?\\
'''Legs:''' Do you know what we call flying soldiers on the battlefield?\\
'''Rage:''' Air support?\\
'''Legs:''' Skeet.

->'''Kathryn:''' Hmph. Well, the good news is that I can now start killing and not feel in the least bit guilty. The bad news is I'm not going to feel the least bit guilty about the killing I'm about to do.

->'''Murtaugh:''' I would like to arrest your entire team, but I'm willing to settle for killing you if that's more to your preference.

->'''Kathryn:''' He was a ''plant''.\\
'''Bunningus:''' In the context of the medical weirdness going on here, I have to ask a stupid question: Was he a plant like a spy, or a plant like a preambulatory asparagus?\\
'''Kathryn:''' Ah. The spy kind. Good question, though.

->'''Legs:''' I can't wait to tell Tagon that since he wouldn't ''give'' us a gunship, we had to ''steal one''.

->'''Schlock:''' I thought we were letting them arrest us, because everything would turn out for the best that way.\\
'''Bunningus:''' That was before we stole their gunship.
12th Mar '15 8:46:23 AM dalek955
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Added DiffLines:

->'''Spook #2:''' We've talked about this, Willis. You are not allowed to enjoy your job by making murder puns.
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