History Quotes / RealityIsOutToLunch

->''"In the past half-hour alone, I've witnessed ten incidents where the laws of physic were outright defied!"''

''"Mortals. You just can't take the slightest collapse in the laws of causality, can you?"''

->The area around the tower of Al Khali, under the relentless magical bombardment, was already drifting beyond that reality horizon where time, space and matter lose their separate identities and start wearing each other's clothes. It was quite impossible to describe.\\

It looked like a piano sounds shortly after being dropped down a well. It tasted yellow, and felt paisley. It smelled like a total eclipse of the moon. Of course, nearer to the tower it got ''really'' weird.
-->-- ''Literature/{{Sourcery}}'', Creator/TerryPratchett

-> Ghosts aren't a rare sight in here. Things that exist tend to disappear, while things that don't tend to appear. Auditory hallucinations and similar occurrences aren't out of the ordinary. \\
You won't get the job done if you lose composure whenever it happens. Besides, world-renowned scientists are working day and night to solve similar supernatural phenomena in this facility. \\
Our job is to provide an optimal working environment for them, which isn't an easy thing to do. In any case you guys aren't allowed to leave this place for the next month without exception. \\
Even if you die.
-->-- PANDORA employee at Hell's Gate complex to the fresh laboratory rats... er, [[JanitorImpersonationInfiltration infiltrated agents]] and other janitors, ''Anime/DarkerThanBlack''

-->--''Film/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy'' (film)

-> I don't know what you, as outsiders, can do about this place. If you try to nuke it, then the missile will probably change into a sperm whale or something. If you send soldiers, their weapons might backfire, or not work at all, or turn into bananas.

->This is the universe calling to tell [[TheCaptain Tagon]] that his reality check has bounced.
-->-- '''Narrator''', ''Webcomic/SchlockMercenary''

-> ''Factory-engines roar like false lions. Blood thunders in the dock-pipes. Crimson lightning skitters across the deck, leaps to the rail, coils there like a cat. The city is reflected in glassy-calm harbour water: the citizens there have the heads of dogs and serpents.''
-> ''Hell has brought freedom to the Iron Republic: freedom from all laws, even those of nature.''
-->--''Videogame/SunlessSea''

->This party never stops! Time is dead and meaning has no meaning! Existence is upside down, and ''[[NewEraSpeech I reign supreme!]]''
-->--'''Bill Cipher''', ''WesternAnimation/GravityFalls'', "Weirdmageddon (Part 1)"

->'''Reality Bites It:'''
->In [[MultipleEndings this variant]], no [[SealedEvilInACan monster lives at the bottom of]] the [[EldritchLocation swimming hole]] - no face is given to the enemy. Here, however, the draining does more than just [[MakeAWish bring subconscious wishes to reality]]: ''weirder'' things happen. Realty begins to break down. Hallucinations are given shape and form. Passing thoughts are carved into the walls of the quarry, or painted on local houses or business in blood. Roads out of town either disappear into a dense fog or simply break off and disappear into a wretched, grey canyon. [[TalkingAnimal Animals speak]], [[AnimateInanimateObject inanimate objects gain lunatic sentience]], and all water becomes flammable. The membrane between this world and the spirit world thins and tears, and the characters must deal with the result.
-->--"The Swimming Hole," ''[[TabletopGame/NewWorldOfDarkness Mysterious Places]]''

->Leak detected! Malevolent idioplasm gushes. Liquid anti-dream. Laws of gravity and polar magnetism warp. Compasses go insane. Heed the floating stones. See the neon tetra glimmer. A foreboding, magical place. Romanian bedtime stories come to life. And now a new mechanical sound, not the [[MegaCorp Orochi]] digging devices, but a [[CosmicKeystone subterranean machine not built by human hands]].
->And all the while come the spoors, a contagious prayer of titan molds silently preaching a [[EldritchAbomination tentacular cosmology]].
-->--'''The Buzzing,''' ''VideoGame/TheSecretWorld''

->"I am somewhat preoccupied with telling the laws of physics to sit down and shut up."
-->--'''Vaarsuvius''', ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick''

->With the fall of Praag, a wind of solid darkness blew from the [[EldritchLocation Realm of Chaos]] and swept over the land. Out through the Chaos Gates it roared, over the Troll Country and into Northern Kislev. The malign wind blew through the streets of Praag, howling and screaming, and where it passed, the boiling Aethyr followed, absorbing that land of men.
->The streets of Praag bowed and warped before its might. Men and stone twisted and became as one. Living things melted and reformed within the very fabric of the city's streets. [[AndIMustScream Souls were imprisoned in torment, crying out from twisted stones]]. Anguished and distorted faces peered out from cracked and warped walls. Agonized limbs writhed from the pavements. Pillars groaned with voices that once belonged to living beings. Praag had become an incarnate and walking nightmare - a taste for all of what lay ahead should the [[GodOfEvil Chaos Gods]] prove victorious.
-->--''[[TabletopGame/{{Warhammer}} Liber Chaotica]]''

->'''Sam:''' [[GravityScrew Gravity's taken a holiday and lost its luggage!]]
->'''Max:''' That's not what ''I'm'' about to lose. I think I'm gonna throw up!
->'''Sam:''' Throw ''down.''
->'''Max:''' Whatever.
-->--A visit to [[EldritchLocation the Mystery Vortex]], ''VideoGame/SamAndMaxHitTheRoad''.

->[[ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve With faith in the power of science and technology to protect the world at an all-time low]] and no [[AntiMagic Gauntlet]] to hold back superstition, the Techocracy's paradigm falls apart. Money ceases to have value in such a world, medicines do not cure plagues, and machines will not stop those swarms of flies that feed on spinal fluid and distilled terror. Stasis falls apart, but not in any good way. The Umbrae wash over the world, dissolving 10,000 years of human progress and reducing mankind to barbarism. Laws that were once true are no longer so. Friction on a dry branch might cause it to shudder and bleed, but it will not start a fire.
-->--"Hell On Earth," ''TabletopGame/MageTheAscension - Ascension''

->The streets seethe with transformation. Some people's features are shifting, flowing smoothly or jumping between alternatives; walking in a daze, they seem oblivious, and I touch my own face, wondering if the same thing is happening to me. Vegetation is sprouting everywhere - patches of wheat, sugar cane, bamboo; stretches of wild-looking tropical undergrowth. Some stalls are simply crumbling into fine dust; others are mutating into exotic architectural pastiche - and [[MeatMoss the walls of one have turned to flesh]], blood visibly pulsing through veins as thick as my arm. I stare up at the skyscrapers, most of them surreally intact - but even as I wonder at this, the fractal cladding on one tower starts drifting down like confetti.
-->--The Eigenstate Mod going viral in New Hong Kong, ''Literature/{{Quarantine}}''

->Southend seems to be melting away... the stars are swirling... a dust bowl... snow... my legs drifting off into the sunset... hell, my left arm's come off too, [[SkewedPriorities how am I going to operate my digital watch now]]? Ford, [[BalefulPolymorph you're turning into a penguin]], stop it.
-->--'''Arthur Dent,''' ''Radio/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy''

->My name is Captain Bryce, and these are my rules! Don't touch the Wobble if it's pink, or [[RapidAging you will age until you stink]]. If the Wobble's gray like steam, [[DeathByDeaging you'll revert into a cream]]. If the Wobble's red like rust, you'll die and rot and then throw up. If a patch is colored tan, [[EyeScream then your eyes will melt]]. Don't touch the Wobble if it's blue, 'cause [[BodyHorror your legs will look like that]]. If the Wobble smells like flowers, ''run real fast or we'll both die!'' If it's brown, then it's okay, but don't confuse brown with tan. When the Wobble's neon green, then I'm not sure what will happen. Thus concludes my list of rules!
-->--'''Captain Bryce,''' ''WesternAnimation/TheMidnightGospel'', "[[Recap/TheMidnightGospelS1E6VultureWithHonor Vulture With Honor]]"

-> ''The viewscreen didn’t show the explosion anymore. It showed the giant hole in space where the explosion had been, and then, Earth. I reached up to turn it off, and my hand melted through the control panel.\\

It didn’t hurt. But for a moment, it was like my hand turned to liquid, dribbling through the cracks between the buttons and the console, bleeding through the machinery. I jerked back, and the liquid snapped back to my wrist, slowly filling up, drop by drop, until it was my hand again. I flexed it. It worked.\\

“Oh, god,” Cassie said. She was still holding Marco, even as the two of them started to levitate.\\

“This isn’t right at all,” Chapman said, with the Ellimist’s voice. “I warned you! I said it would be unbalanced. Now his eye is on you. There’s nothing I can do to protect you, now.”\\
“Like you did so much before?” Loren demanded. She was inside out. That was weird.\\
Tobias drifted through Rachel, and pointed their hand at the viewscreen. “Look at Earth.”\\

“Loren?” Cassie asked, from the ceiling. “Anything you can do?”\\
“It’s...harder to grab, this time. Trying...”\\
Mertil’s arms fell to the deck, followed by his eyestalks. <How am I supposed to pick those up?> he asked crossly.\\
My feet melted. “I can’t live like this,” I muttered, becoming shorter by the second.''

->'''Kevin''': Ah. Physics just threw its hands up and went off for a smoke.
-->-- ''Podcast/RiffTrax'', Film/SilentRage

->"Well, if you want to stick around, I suppose [[InfoDump I'll try and get you up to speed]]: Rude Mountain is a conflux of negativity in your world. It is the natural disposal site of bad vibes - they go there to ''die!'' Your little ritual has thrown the whole world into strife! You've caused an eruption! It's like a bad pimple going thermonuclear! Inanimate objects are starting to speak, there's been time dilation all over the place, you turned yourself into a half-horse-half-ghost-half-man - ''that's three halves, you son of a bitch!''"
-->--'''Dr. Green Z. Hill''', ''WebVideo/RealTimeFanDub'', [[Videogame/UntilDawn "Until Dawn - Part 2"]]

-->--'''Dr. Green Z. Hill''', ''WebVideo/RealTimeFanDub'', [[Videogame/UntilDawn "Until Dawn - Part 1"]]

-> '''Kevin''': Ah. Physics just threw its hands up and went off for a smoke.
--->-- ''Podcast/RiffTrax'', Film/SilentRage

->In [[MultipleEndings this variant]], no [[SealedEvilInACan monster lives at the bottom of]] [[EldritchLocation the swimming hole]] - no face is given to the enemy. Here, however, the draining does more than just [[MakeAWish bring subconscious wishes to reality]]: ''weirder'' things happen. Realty begins to break down. Hallucinations are given shape and form. Passing thoughts are carved into the walls of the quarry, or painted on local houses or business in blood. Roads out of town either disappear into a dense fog or simply break off and disappear into a wretched, grey canyon. [[TalkingAnimal Animals speak]], [[AnimateInanimateObject inanimate objects gain lunatic sentience]], and all water becomes flammable. The membrane between this world and the spirit world thins and tears, and the characters must deal with the result.

->[[ClapYourHandsIfYouBelieve With faith in the power of science and technology to protect the world at an all-time low]] and no [[AntiMagic Gauntlet]] to hold back superstition, the [[TheMan Techocracy]]'s paradigm falls apart. Money ceases to have value in such a world, medicines do not cure plagues, and machines will not stop those swarms of flies that feed on spinal fluid and distilled terror. Stasis falls apart, but not in any good way. The Umbrae wash over the world, dissolving 10,000 years of human progress and reducing mankind to barbarism. Laws that were once true are no longer so. Friction on a dry branch might cause it to shudder and bleed, but it will not start a fire.

-> -> '''Kevin''': Ah. Physics just threw its hands up and went off for a smoke.

->"Changes in virtual particle annihilations in Pátria, Felicité, and Kunlun systems. Lightspeed variations in Sumner and Far-home. Electron mass changed in Haza system for almost two minutes. ''Electron mass.'' Sanctuary system had gravity increase by a tenth of a percent throughout the system for six seconds. This was one twenty-four-hour period. The things that are doing this are rattling all the windows looking for ways to make us die."
-->-- ''Literature/TheExpanse''