History Quotes / OneDialogueTwoConversations

-->--''WebVideo/DragonballZAbridged'

>'''[[WebVideo/YuGiOhTheAbridgedSeries Yami Yugi]]''': I hail from Ancient Egypt. A long-since buried Pharaoh I once ruled over the land: commanding Magicians, Dragons, the very ''ground'' beneath your feet.\\

->'''Henry VIII''': Yes. I'd noticed those.

->'''Henry VIII''': Oh, that's a new name for 'em!

->'''Henry VIII''': Yes, I'd noticed that too.

-->--''WesternAnimation/{{Shrek}}'' (Fiona was really talking about [[spoiler: herself turning into an ogre at night]])

->'''Bettina''': They call them castanets.

->'''Farmer''': Oh, you did eh?

->'''Peter''': Oh, don't misunderstand me please. I-I'm quite willing to pay for it this time.

'''Tusk:''' Yup, shot on my boat. Name another.\\

-->-- ''WesternAnimation/TheGreatNorth'', Season 2 [[Recap/TheGreatNorthS2E09FromTuskTilDawnAdventure From Tusk Til Dawn Adventure]]

''(Stan tries to get up)''\\

''(wakes up Bill)''\\

'''Bill:''' What?

(''interrogating Bill again'')
''Bill:''' We were friends at NYU, and we both applied and we got scholarships to UCLA. So we figured the scenery would be nicer going through the South.\\

->'''Francine:''' Stan Smith! You bastard! HOW COULD YOU? ''(supposedly make out with [[ParentalIncest Hayley]])''
->'''Stan:''' OK, you caught me, but can you blame me? It's just so sweet and tempting! ''(stealing cookie dough)''
->'''Francine:''' You're sick! You should be in jail!
->'''Stan:''' Oh come on, you're overreacting. [[MarsNeedsWomen Roger]] does it too!
->'''Roger:''' Yeah, I've stuck my fingers in there.
->'''Francine:''' (Vomits into a bowl)
->'''Roger:''' Guess I'll go get some new popcorn...
-->--''WesternAnimation/AmericanDad''

->(''Bill and Stan are being questioned about robbing a convenience store and shooting the clerk, but they assume that it's about shoplifting a can of tuna fish'')
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' Hello, Bill. I'm Sheriff Farley.
->'''Bill:''' Hi.
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' Do you know why you're here?
->'''Bill:''' Yeah, I do. I'm sorry. It was a stupid thing to do.
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' Have you been made aware of your rights?
->'''Bill:''' Yes.
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' You're willing to waive that right?
->'''Bill:''' I'll cooperate fully. I'll sign a statement, or whatever makes this whole thing easier.
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' [[OnlyBadGuysCallTheirLawyers Good. Good. That's good.]]
->'''Bill:''' But I want you to know, Stan, he had nothing to do with it.
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' Did he help you plan it?
->'''Bill:''' No. I mean... I mean, it wasn't planned out. You know, it just happened.
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' Did Stan try to stop you at any time?
->'''Bill:''' No. I mean, he was...
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' Is that a big deal? Aidin' and abettin'?
->'''Bill:''' Aiding and abetting? Is that a major thing? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
->(''later, interrogating Stan:'')
->'''Stan:''' An accessory? Are you guys kiddin'? An accessory? I didn't help. I didn't plan it.
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' You didn't try to stop it.
->'''Stan:''' I didn't know it was happening. I found out later in the car.
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' Why didn't you get out, call the police then?
->'''Stan:''' He's my friend.
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' Well, your friend has put you in a lot of trouble.
->'''Stan:''' What's gonna happen to Bill?
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' Nothing. Unless he's convicted. If he is, we're gonna run enough electricity through him to light up Birmingham.
->(''interrogating Bill again:'')
->'''Bill:''' We were friends at NYU, and we both applied and we got scholarships to UCLA. So we figured the scenery would be nicer going through the South.
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' What about the tuna fish?
->'''Bill:''' I forgot about the tuna fish. And then we left.
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' Did he catch you with the tuna fish? Is that how it started?
->'''Bill:''' No, he didn't say anything.
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' But he knew about it.
->'''Bill:''' I don't know.
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' Let's talk about that for a moment. You paid for the groceries. And then what?
->'''Bill:''' We went out to the car, and that's it.
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' When'd you shoot him?
->'''Bill:''' What?
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' At what point did you shoot the clerk?
->'''Bill:''' (''confused'') [[MistakenConfession I shot the clerk?]]
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' Yes. When did you shoot him?
->'''Bill:''' I shot the clerk?
->'''Sheriff Farley:''' (''speaking outside'') We need ya out here. I'm in the middle of a damn confession here.
->'''Bill:''' [[OhCrap Whoa. Wait a minute!]]

->(''[[Creator/JoePesci Vinny]] is the lawyer, but Stan thinks he is there to [[PrisonRape sodomize him]]'')
->'''Vinny:''' Look, it's either me or them. You're gettin' fucked one way or the other.
->(''Stan tries to get up'')
->'''Vinny:''' Hey, relax, I'm gonna help you.
->'''Stan:''' Gee, thanks...
->'''Vinny:''' Excuse me, I think a modicum of gratitude would not be out of line here.
->'''Stan:''' You think I should be grateful?
->'''Vinny:''' Yeah, it's your ass, not mine. I think you should be grateful. I think you should be down on your fuckin' knees.
->'''Stan:''' I didn't know it was such an honor to get a visit from you.
->'''Vinny:''' I'm doing a favor, you know. You're gettin' me for nothing, you little fuck!
->'''Stan:''' That's one hell of an ego you got.
->'''Vinny:''' What the fuck is your problem? I did not come down here just to get jerked off.
->'''Stan:''' I'm not jerking you off. I'm not doing anything.
->'''Vinny:''' That's it. You're on your own. I'll just take care of Sleeping Beauty.
->(''Wakes up Bill'')
->'''Bill:''' Vinny! Vinny bag o'donuts!

->"Are we on the same page?"
->"I don't think we're even in the same ''library.''"
-->--''WesternAnimation/{{ThunderCats|1985}}''

->'''Luger:''' You two were living together?
->'''Colt:''' Hell. She used to sleep at my feet and lick my toes. Though, sometimes she'd forget about me and lick herself for hours.
->'''Luger:''' (Beat) Huh. Personally, I don't think it's a good idea to get that involved with your partner.
->'''Colt:''' Hey, pal: You try not getting involved with a partner, she saves your life one minute, then nuzzles your crotch the next.
->'''Luger:''' Well York and I didn't have that kind of relationship, but when we did get together, she was always excited to see me.
->'''Colt:''' When Claire was excited to see me, she'd pee on my leg.
->'''Luger:''' What do you think happened to her?
->'''Colt:''' Maybe she just took off. I hadn't been paying enough attention to her. I realized how neglected she felt the night she shit in my shoes.
-->--''Film/LoadedWeapon1'', Luger talking about Colt's ex-police partner, unaware that she was a dog.

-->--Sketch by Québécois comedian François Pérusse. When you want to tell something important to your partner, make sure they are listening to you first.

--> ''Creator/DaveBarry'' on talking about relationships

->'''Mr. Burns:''' We don't have to be adversaries, Homer. We ''both'' want a fair union contract.
->'''Homer:''' ''(thinking)'' Why is Mr. Burns being so nice to me?
->'''Mr. Burns:''' And if you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.
->'''Homer:''' ''(thinking)'' Wait a minute. Is he coming on to me?
->'''Mr. Burns:''' I mean, if I should slip something into your pocket, what's the harm?
->'''Homer:''' ''(thinking)'' Oh my God! He ''is'' coming on to me!
->'''Mr. Burns:''' After all, negotiations make strange bedfellows. ''(giggles and winks)''
->'''Homer:''' ''(thinking)'' AAAHH!!! ''(out loud)'' Sorry, Mr. Burns, but I don't go in for these backdoor shenanigans! Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!
-->--''WesternAnimation/TheSimpsons'', "Last Exit to Springfield"

->'''Homer:''' ''(thinking)'' Oh my God, he ''is'' coming on to me!

->'''The Stranger:''' ''Come on out!'' It's no good hiding anymore! I know who you are- more importantly, I know ''what'' you are! ''Come on out!'' No need for this to get ''bloody''! ''[Kratos answers the door]'' Huh. [[ExpectingSomeoneTaller Thought you'd be bigger]]. But you're definitely the one. Long way from home, aren't you?\\

-->--''Disney/PeterPan''

-->--''Disney/TheLittleMermaid''

''[The obituary writers laugh; Charlie, overhearing, begins to suspect the plumber was the victim of a serial killer]''

->'''Charlie:''' ''[Suspecting a recent obituary is of a serial killer victim]'' Did they mention anything about his wife?\\

->'''Sheriff Farley:''' Good. Good. That's good.

->'''Sebastian:''' ''(takes a deep breath)'' I mustn't overreact. I must remain calm. ''(scuttles toward the king; speaks with a high crack)'' Yes--? ''(clears throat)'' Yes, your majesty?

->'''Sebastian:''' ''(hyperventilates)'' I TRIED TO STOP HER, SIR! SHE WOULDN'T LISTEN! I TOLD TO STAY AWAY FROM HUMANS! THEY ARE BAD, THEY ARE TROUBLE! THEY...!

'''Virgil:''' No! And he can't! Hold on... ''[laughs]'' whoa, doc, we are talking about two different things here!

->'''Hook:''' You will go ashore, pick up Tinker Bell and bring her to me. ''(tosses Smee down)'' ''UNDERSTAND?!''

''[Behind the Simulant, Rimmer notices an escape capsule [[DirtyCoward and begins to creep towards it]].]''\\