History Quotes / MagicalComputer

->''"Hey, remember when Dick Tracy’s wife couldn’t get an email for days and days because her ISP had a virus? You might think that represents a terrible technical failure on their part, but now that we know that Dick sends all his emails as large video files of him talking rather than just text like a normal person, I’m beginning to have some sympathy for the pressure this particular customer puts on their infrastructure."''
-->--'''Blog/TheComicsCurmudgeon''' [[http://joshreads.com/?p=22668 on]] ''ComicStrip/DickTracy''

->''"Even before he [[HopelessWithTech knew what a computer did]], Dr. Jack Van Impe was pretty sure human civilization was ending [[MillenniumBug in the year 2000]]. But holy crap, once he found out that these flimsy computer chips controlled everything from the missiles we launch to the toast we eat, he-- hold on, I think Jack might still not know what computers do. He knows they have something to do with airplanes which are [[{{Dissimile}} a lot like eagles]], which is [[InsaneTrollLogic exactly how Jesus would fly]] and that's why we're going to die in [=Y2K=]."''
-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/10-real-survival-guides-one-very-fake-apocalypse/ "10 Real Survival Guides For One Very Fake Apocalypse"]]

->''"This prospective employer takes a photo with an apparently instant-cropping n' pasting camera. He presses '[[AC:Enter]]' on his keyboard, which then folds up the entire template into an actual letter, and apparently makes it an email without typing an address to send it to. This is followed by an animation of it zooming through CGI {{cyberspace}} (because it's a place you can travel through). It then arrives and opens on the other end without anyone opening it up; emails just instantly pop up on-screen. Also instantly: Twinkly-light [[FacialRecognitionSoftware facial recognition technology]] starts to scan the photo, again without anyone initiating this... [[FridgeLogic The more you think about this]], the dumber it becomes. People had to animate that, y'know? They actually put in more work than if they'd sent an email [[ShapedLikeItself the way an email is sent]]. All you had to to is click. I...don't know what the real world is anymore. They didn't know how to send an email. An ''[[EpicFail email!]]''"''
-->--'''WebVideo/ObscurusLupa''' on ''{{Series/Charmed|1998}}'' Season 8

-->-- '''Linkara''', ''WebVideo/AtopTheFourthWall: Captain Electron #1''

-->--'''''Blog/TheComicsCurmudgeon''''' [[http://joshreads.com/?p=22668 on]] ''ComicStrip/DickTracy''

-->--'''WebVideo/ObscurusLupa''' on ''{{Series/Charmed}}'' Season 8

->'''Orac:''' Your use of the word "magic" is inappropriate. I am simply the sum of the thousands of data stores which are available to me.

----

->''"This prospective employer takes a photo with an apparently instant-cropping n' pasting camera. He presses '[[AC:Enter]]' on his keyboard, which then folds up the entire template into an actual letter, and apparently makes it an email without typing an address to send it to. This is followed by an animation of it zooming through CGI {{cyberspace}} (because it's a place you can travel through). It then arrives and opens on the other end without anyone opening it up; emails just instantly pop up on-screen. Also instantly: Twinkly-light [[FacialRecognitionSoftware facial recognition technology]] starts to scan the photo, again without anyone initiating this... In 2005, we knew how to send emails. [[FridgeLogic The more you think about this, the dumber it becomes]]. People had to animate that, y'know? They actually put in more work than if they'd sent an email [[ShapedLikeItself the way an email is sent]]. All you had to to is click. I...don't know what the real world is anymore. They didn't know how to send an email. An ''[[EpicFail email!]]''"''

->''"This prospective employer takes a photo with an apparently instant-cropping n' pasting camera. He presses '[[AC:Enter]]' on his keyboard, which then folds up the entire template into an actual letter, and apparently makes it an email without typing an address to send it to. This is followed by an animation of it zooming through CGI {{cyberspace}} (because it's a place you can travel through). It then arrives and opens on the other end without anyone opening it up; emails just instantly pop up on-screen. Also instantly: Twinkly-light [[FacialRecognitionSoftware facial recognition technology]] starts to scan the photo, again without anyone initiating this... In 2005, we knew how to send emails. [[FridgeLogic The more you think about this, the dumber is becomes]]. People had to animate that, y'know? They actually put in more work than if they'd sent an email [[ShapedLikeItself the way an email is sent]]. All you had to to is click. I...don't know what the real world is anymore. They didn't know how to send an email. An ''[[EpicFail email!]]''"''

----

-> We have reached an informational threshold which can only be crossed by harnessing the speed of light directly. The quickest computations require the fastest possible particles moving along the shortest paths. Since the capability now exists to take our information directly from photons travelling molecular distances, the final act of the information revolution will soon be upon us.
-->-- '''Academician Prokhor Zakharov - "For I Have Tasted The Fruit"''', ''SidMeiersAlphaCentauri''

-> "Ah, yes, in the wonderful days when computers did whatever the hell you wanted them to, even if it didn't make any sense."
-->-- '''Linkara''', ''AtopTheFourthWall: Captain Electron #1''


----
<<|QuotesWiki|>>