History Quotes / EvilCripple

-->--'''Gregor Strasser''' on Joseph Goebbels

->"Why, y'all look like you've seen a ghost. It's ''me'', dear friends. Alive and kickin'! Well, ''[[HalfTheManHeUsedToBe alive]]'', anyway. We may have lost [[UsefulNotes/TheAmericanCivilWar the war]], but Heaven knows we haven't lost our sense of humor. No. Not even when [[LongList we've lost a lung, a spleen, a bladder, two legs, thirty-five feet of small intestine, AND OUR ABILITY TO REPRODUCE,]] ALL IN THE NAME OF THE SOUTH, DO WE EVER [[EvilHasABadSenseOfHumor LOSE OUR SENSE OF HUMOR!!]]"

->"Whatever happens, mark what I say. From now on Germany is in the hands of [[UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler an Austrian who is a congenital liar,]] a former officer who is a pervert, and a clubfoot. And I tell you the last is the worst of them all. This is Satan in human form."

->''One of the reasons Suge is making visits to court is because he [[CarFu used a set of wheels for evil]], so is it really a good idea to put him in another set of wheels? I know it’s just a wheelchair, but trust me -- Suge [[OnceKilledAManWithANoodleImplement will find a way]]. Maybe they could get him a [[VideoGame/SuperMarioWorld Yoshi]] to ride on?''

Be round impaled with a glorious crown.''

->''"Why, I, in this [[WarIsGlorious weak piping time of peace,]]\\
Have no delight to pass away the time,\\
Unless to spy my shadow in the sun\\
And descant on mine own deformity.\\
And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover\\
To entertain these fair well-spoken days,\\
[[ThenLetMeBeEvil I am determined to prove a villain]]\\
And ''hate'' the idle pleasures of these days"''
-->--'''''Theatre/RichardIII'''''

!!{{Film}} -- Live*Action

->''"Why, I, in this [[WarIsGlorious weak piping time of peace,]]\\
Have no delight to pass away the time,\\
Unless to spy my shadow in the sun\\
And descant on mine own deformity.\\
And therefore, since I cannot prove a lover\\
To entertain these fair well-spoken days,\\
[[ThenLetMeBeEvil I am determined to prove a villain]]\\
And ''hate'' the idle pleasures of these days"''
-->--'''''Theatre/RichardIII'''''

->''"They think me mad--Starbuck does; but I'm demoniac, I am madness maddened! That wild madness that's only calm to comprehend itself! The prophecy was that I should be dismembered; and--Aye! [[AnArmAndALeg I lost this leg.]] I now prophesy that I will dismember my dismemberer."''
-->--'''Captain Ahab''', ''Literature/MobyDick''

->"Whatever happens, mark what I say. From now on Germany is in the hands of [[UsefulNotes/AdolfHitler an Austrian who is a congenital liar,]] a former officer who is a pervert, and a clubfoot. And I tell you the last is the worst of them all. This is Satan in human form."
-->--'''Gregor Strasser''' on Joseph Goebbels

->''I will now make a confession. It was the sight of your maimed strength and masterfulness that begot [[Literature/TreasureIsland Long John Silver]]...the idea of the maimed man, ruling and dreaded by the sound, was entirely taken from you.''
-->--'''Creator/RobertLouisStevenson''' to Wiiliam Henley

->"Why, y'all look like you've seen a ghost. It's ''me'', dear friends. Alive and kicking! Well, ''[[HalfTheManHeUsedToBe alive]]'', anyway. We may have lost [[UsefulNotes/TheAmericanCivilWar the war]], but Heaven knows we haven't lost our sense of humor. No. Not even when [[LongList we've lost a lung, a spleen, a bladder, two legs, thirty-five feet of small intestine, AND OUR ABILITY TO REPRODUCE,]] ALL IN THE NAME OF THE SOUTH, DO WE EVER [[EvilHasABadSenseOfHumor LOSE OUR SENSE OF HUMOR!!]]"

-->--''Film/{{Hannibal}}

->"Why, y'all look like you've seen a ghost. It's ''me'', dear friends. Alive and kicking! Well, ''alive'', anyway. We may have lost [[UsefulNotes/TheAmericanCivilWar the war]], but Heaven knows we haven't lost our sense of humor. No. Not even when [[LongList we've lost a lung, a spleen, a bladder, two legs, thirty-five feet of small intestine, AND OUR ABILITY TO REPRODUCE,]] ALL IN THE NAME OF THE SOUTH, DO WE EVER [[EvilHasABadSenseOfHumor LOSE OUR SENSE OF HUMOR!!]]"

->"Why, y'all look like you've seen a ghost. It's ''me'', dear friends. Alive and kicking! Well, ''alive'', anyway. We may have lost [[UsefulNotes/TheAmericanCivilWar the war]], but Heaven knows we haven't lost our sense of humor. No. Not even when [[LongList we've lost a lung, a spleen, a bladder, two legs, thirty-five feet of small intestine, AND OUR ABILITY TO RRPRODUCE,]] ALL IN THE NAME OF THE SOUTH, DO WE EVER [[EvilHasABadSenseOfHumor LOSE OUR SENSE OF HUMOR!!]]"

->"Why, y'all look like you've seen a ghost. It's ''me'', dear friends. Alive and kicking! Well, ''alive'', anyway. We may have lost [[UsefulNotes/AmericanCivilWar the war]], but Heaven knows we haven't lost our sense of humor. No. Not even when [[LongList we've lost a lung, a spleen, a bladder, two legs, thirty-five feet of small intestine, AND OUR ABILITY TO RRPRODUCE,]] ALL IN THE NAME OF THE SOUTH, DO WE EVER [[EvilHasABadSenseOfHumor LOSE OUR SENSE OF HUMOR!!]]"

->"Why,y'all look like you've seen a ghost. It's ''me'', dear friends. Alive and kicking! Well, ''alive'', anyway. We may have lost [[UsefulNotes/AmericanCivilWar the war]], but Heaven knows we haven't lost our sense of humor. No. Not even when [[LongList we've lost a lung, a spleen, a bladder, two legs, thirty-five feet of small intestine, AND OUR ABILITY TO RRPRODUCE,]] ALL IN THE NAME OF THE SOUTH, DO WE EVER [[EvilHasABadSenseOfHumor LOSE OUR SENSE OF HUMOR!!]]"

->''"They think me mad--Starbuck does; but I'm demoniac, I am madness maddened! That wild madness that's only calm to comprehend itself! The prophecy was that I should be dismembered; and--Aye! I lost this leg. I now prophesy that I will dismember my dismemberer."''
-->--'''Captain Ahab'', ''Literature/MobyDick''

-<''I will now make a confession. It was the sight of your maimed strength and masterfulness that begot [[Literature/TreasureIsland Long John Silver]]...the idea of the maimed man, ruling and dreaded by the sound, was entirely taken from you.''

-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/04/08/suge-knight-is-in-a-court-appointed-wheelchair-and-hes-super-pissed-about-it/ Michael K.]]'''', "Suge Knight is in a Court-Appointed Wheelchair and He's Super-Pissed About It"

->One of the reasons Suge is making visits to court is because he [[CarFu used a set of wheels for evil]], so is it really a good idea to put him in another set of wheels? I know it’s just a wheelchair, but trust me -- Suge [[OnceKilledAManWithANoodleImplement will find a way]]. Maybe they could get him a [[VideoGame/SuperMarioWorld Yoshi]] to ride on?

-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/04/08/suge-knight-is-in-a-court-appointed-wheelchair-and-hes-super-pissed-about-it/ Michael K.]'''', "Suge Knight is in a Court-Appointed Wheelchair and He's Super-Pissed About It"

->Ever since Suge Knight was charged with murder back in February, the Associated Press says he’s had four in-court whoopsies that involved him either collapsing or his body just saying ''“fuck it”''. So a judge decided that all his future court appearances would be made in a wheelchair. And to make sure he doesn’t try to get up and walk away, he’s been chained to it...One of the reasons Suge is making visits to court is because he [[CarFu used a set of wheels for evil]], so is it really a good idea to put him in another set of wheels? I know it’s just a wheelchair, but trust me -- Suge will [[OnceKilledAManWithANoodleImplement find a way]]. Maybe they could get him a [[VideoGame/SuperMarioWorld Yoshi]] to ride on?
-->--'''''[[http://dlisted.com/2015/04/08/suge-knight-is-in-a-court-appointed-wheelchair-and-hes-super-pissed-about-it/ DListed]]''''', "Suge Knight is in a Court-Appointed Wheelchair and He's Super-Pissed About It"

->Heather was hoping to compete with the British Disabled Ski Time in the Paralympic Winter Games in Sochi next March and she was in Austria earlier this week to compete at the Pitzal Europa Cup. During a meeting with the International Paralympic Committee at a hotel, she was told by official Sylvana Mestre that she couldn’t wear a specially adapted boot during competition, because it hadn’t been cleared by the committee. Well, Sylvana Mestre quickly learned that when you tell Heather Mills something she doesn’t want to hear, she will rip off her leg and [[AssShove shove it all the way up your culo]]. Sylvana Mestre tried to work with Heather on the boot issue, but working with Heather is like trying to train a great white shark to give you a sweet peck on the lips...(Side note: Shortly after this statement was released, the rep went missing and his neighbors say the last time they heard him he was screaming, ''“NOT THE LEG! NOT UP THE CULO! PLEASE,”'' in his apartment.)\\\
Heather was forced to withdraw and she’ll probably be fined 1,000 euros...Sylvana better move to another country, change her face, change her name and do the same to all the men in her life. If Sylvana is married to a man, Heather Mills is going to [[GoldDigger fuck that man, marry him without a prenup and then take all of his money in the divorce]]. Then once she’s done there, she’ll [[YourMom fuck Sylvana’s father]], marry him without a prenup and then take all of his money in the divorce. If Sylvana’s father is dead, Heather Mills will go to his grave, dig up his bones, [[ILoveTheDead fuck his bones]] and then take any rings on his phalanges.
-->--'''[[http://dlisted.com/2013/12/19/a-beautiful-christmas-gift-heather-mills-is-terrorizing-humanity-again/ Michael K.]]''', "Heather Mills Is Terrorizing Humanity Again!"