History Quotes / EvenEvilHasStandards

->'''[[SerialKillerKiller Dexter Morgan]]:''' Trust me, I ''definitely'' understand. [[NotSoDifferentRemarkSee, I can't help myself, either. But ''[[WouldntHurtAChild children]]''? I could ''never'' do that. Not like you. Never, '''''ever''''' kids.

-->-- '''A Talabheim thief''', "explaining professional ethics to a colleague", ''TabletopGame/WarhammerFantasyRoleplay''[[labelnote:*]]Technically this quote is from the Tome of Salvation splatbook[[/labelnote]]

-->'''Dib:''' I just know he's up to something evil!\\

->''"Using that little girl as a [[HumanShield shield]]...'' '''''THIS IS LOW, EVEN FOR YOU!'''"''
-->-- '''[[MadScientist Dr. Jumba Jookiba]]''' talking about Stitch, ''WesternAnimation/LiloAndStitch''

->Two little kids in a car... this is so fucking bad... Make you feel good, to kill a mother and her kids? Make you feel big? You big man! Fuck you, what do you think I am?! You think I'll kill two kids and a woman? [[WouldNotHurtAChild Fuck that!]] I don't need that shit in my life! YOU DIE, MOTHERFUCKER! ''[[[BoomHeadshot shoots Alberto]]]'' What do you think I am, huh?! What you think I am, a fucking worm like you?!... I told you, no fucking kids! But you wouldn't listen! Well, you stupid fuck, look at you now!

->'''Johnny Marcone:''' [[WouldNotHurtAChild No children.]] I do not tolerate challenges, Miss Gard. They are bad for business.

'''Gerry:''' ''The key part of con man is the word 'man'. You have to have empathy with your fellow human beings or you're just [[TheSociopath a sociopath]], and they make the shittiest con men alive.''

->''When the antidote kicked in and [[ProfessionalKiller Theodolphus]] could breathe again, he saw his napkin had the sigil of the [[MurderInc Nameless Order]] on it, with an ornate mark that more or less said,'' Hey, remember, [[WouldNotHurtAChild we don't kill kids anymore]]. Okay?

->''"[[WouldNotHurtAChild I ain't never killed a kid, and I ain't gonna start now.]]"''

->'''[[WouldHurtAChild Mike Donovan:]]''' I couldn't help myself. I couldn't, I just... ''please'', you have to understand!
->'''[[SerialKillerKiller Dexter Morgan:]]''' Trust me, I ''definitely'' understand. See, I can't help myself, either. But ''[[WouldNotHurtAChild children]]''? I could ''never'' do that. Not like you. Never, '''''ever''''' kids.

'''Saul:''' Yeah, Belize, you know where Mike went to.\\
'''Walt:''' Saul, you'd better not be saying what I think you're saying. [[EvenEvilHasLovedOnes Hank is family!]]

->'''Chucky''': Y'know, I have a queer kid.
->'''Jake''': You have a ''kid?''
->'''Chucky''': Genderfluid.
->'''Jake''': ...And you-you're cool with it?
->'''Chucky''': I'm not a monster, Jake!

->'''[[Manga/MyHeroAcademia All For One]]''': Are you going to join the League of Evil or not?\\
'''[[WebVideo/DragonBallZAbridged Perfect Cell]]''': I appreciate the offer, but the answer is still no. What do you need me for, anyway?\\
'''All For One''': I need your Instant Transmission ability for the most evil, unforgiving, diabolical plan in human history.\\
'''[[Franchise/TheMuppets Kermit]]''': Oh my God, you're gonna ban anime titties.\\
'''All For One''': I said evil. Not insane.\\
'''Perfect Cell''': Yeah, Kermit. Everybody loves anime titties.\\
'''Kermit''': Right, right.

->'''Robot Devil''': I rather think we could strike a deal, Bender. I shall give you your army of the damned and in return I ask just one thing, just one itty-bitty thing... ''your firstborn son!'' (''EvilLaugh'')\\
'''Bender''': Just a sec.\\

'''Bender's Son''': Daddy! I knew you'd come back!\\

'''Bender''': Here ya go! (''punts his son through a window and into a vat of fire'')\\
'''Robot Devil''': ''(somewhere between aghast and impressed)'' WOW. That was pretty brutal, even by ''my'' standards!\\
'''Bender''': [[CrossesTheLineTwice No backsies!]]

->'''Lute''': [[AxCrazy Rip Vaggie's cunt mouth out her ass!]]
->'''Adam''': Would you just-ju-chill, Lute. Fuck.

->'''K.O.''': Wait... Are you gonna [[ImAHumanitarian cook and eat us]]!?\\
'''Lord Boxman''': Please. I'm a villain, not a monster.

->'''Nat Peterson''': You think this is funny?\\
'''Plankton''': In a cosmic sort of way, yes.\\
'''Nat Peterson''': Well, Mr. Funny Man, is this how you get your sick kicks?! [Nat Peterson shows Plankton a Krabby Patty]\\
'''Plankton''': What? It's just an ordinary Krabby-- [[[http://i257.photobucket.com/albums/hh234/Dougalism/OHMYGOODNESS.jpg Scene zooms in to show the patty made with gross-out items]]] OH, MY GOODNESS! ''SQUIDWARD!''

->'''Mojo Jojo''': We are citizens! [[CardCarryingVillain Evil citizens]], sure, but citizens nonetheless!
->'''HIM''': I think we should complain.
->'''Mojo Jojo''': But to who?

->'''Newtralizer''': We can destroy this whole stinking city.\\
'''Slash''': And every innocent human with it! [[YoureInsane Are you crazy?!]] I'm here to take out Kraang! Not people!\\
'''Newtralizer''': Why should I care? I'm not people.

->'''Harley Quinn''': I think maybe you should sit out the weather machine heist. Your style is just a little intense.\\
'''Queen of Fables''': Oh, I'm sorry. I thought the point was to get the job done.\\
'''Harley Quinn''': Yeah, but not by murdering innocent people. I mean, that's just a line I won't cross.\\
'''Queen of Fables''': Oh, you got a line, huh? Hey, guys! She has a line! Superheroes have a line. Teen Titans have a line. We don't give a fuck.\\
'''Harley Quinn''': Yeah, you know, you know, I think maybe I just give, like, a microscopic fuck.

->'''Skurvy''': On my honor, I swear on the Great Great Great Pirate Oath to grant any favor to the swamp-sucking sea scum scalawag that can rid me of this painful toothache!\\
'''Green Croc''': But pirates don't have honor.\\
'''Kutlass''': That's why we be the scourge of the seven seas. We be pure scum!\\
'''Skurvy''': Aye, there be no more fearsome scourge scum than I, but the Pirate Oath is a pure and sacred thing, mates. Me great great great grandpappy taught me that after he stole the Crystal Coconut fair and square.

->'''Snaptrap''': Now, how are we gonna get revenge on those meanies who wouldn't let us ride the monotrail? Francisco?\\
'''Francisco''': Uhhh... [[SapientEatSapient we could eat 'em?]]\\
'''Snaptrap''': [[NoJustNoReaction Okay, that's just dark and disturbing.]]

->''"I had collected many rare and elusive volumes on ancient herbal properties and was set to enjoy several weeks immersed in comfortable study. My work was interrupted, however, by a singularly striking young woman who insisted on repeated calls to the house.

Her knowledge of horticulturalism and its role in various arcane practices impressed me greatly. My licentious impulse gave way to a genuine professional respect, and together, we began to plant, harvest, and brew.

As time wore on, her wild policy of self-experimentation grew intolerable. She quaffed all manner of strange fungi, herbs, and concoctions, intent on gaining some insight into the horror we both knew to be growing beneath us. The change in her was appalling, and no longer able to stomach it, I sent her to live in the weald, where her wildness would be welcomed."''

->A dim thought of someone calling him ''corpsefucker'', which [[SplitPersonality all three parts of him]] [[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne took offense to]]; be all his sins remembered, the Death Knight had never practiced [[ILoveTheDead necrophilia]], nor any sexual deviancy at all. His murders were strictly platonic.

->''"[[DepravedBisexual I do men. I do women. I don't discriminate.]] [[WouldntHurtAChild I don't do kids.]] That's a different kind of psycho."''

->'''[[{{Valkyries}} Miss Gard]]:''' And the fact that [[TheAggressiveDrugDealer one of them was pushing heroin to thirteen-year-old girls]] and [[HumanTraffickers the other was pimping them out]] [[SarcasmMode had nothing to do with it]].

-> '''[[spoiler:Green Goblin]]''': ''You should know, Saki, I decided to look into you after hearing you were coming to the Big Apple. Of all the crime lords [[spoiler:the Green Goblin]] has met, you've got to be the stupidest. Didn't you realize that you'd already won when you drove the rat out of Japan? You could've moved on and lived your life, building your empire until you were the most powerful crime lord in Japan, possibly in Asia. But instead you spent years of your life and all of your resources searching for a man you already defeated. All he wanted was to be left alone to raise his kids... the same kids you and your lackeys tried to kill a few minutes ago. [[[OOCIsSeriousBusiness Gets angry and stops smiling]]]. You should know that [[spoiler:the Green Goblin]] doesn't approve of [[RevengeByProxy people who go after their enemies' children]]. You don't '''ever''' make it personal. [smile returns]. As for Splinter, [[VillainousRespect you have to admire a dedicated parent]]. Raising one kid is hard enough but'' five? ''How does he do it? Ah, well, a question for another day.''

-> '''[[spoiler:Green Goblin]]''': ''You should know, Saki, I decided to look into you after hearing you were coming to the Big Apple. Of all the crime lords [[spoiler:the Green Goblin]] has met, you've got to be the stupidest. Didn’t you realize that you’d already won when you drove the rat out of Japan? You could’ve moved on and lived your life, building your empire until you were the most powerful crime lord in Japan, possibly in Asia. But instead you spent years of your life and all of your resources searching for a man you already defeated. All he wanted was to be left alone to raise his kids… the same kids you and your lackeys tried to kill a few minutes ago. [[[OOCIsSeriousBusiness Gets angry and stops smiling]]]. You should know that [[spoiler:the Green Goblin]] doesn’t approve of people who go after their enemies’ children. You don’t '''ever''' make it personal. [smile returns]. As for Splinter, you have to admire a dedicated parent. Raising one kid is hard enough but'' five? ''How does he do it? Ah, well, a question for another day.''

'''Snaptrap''': Okay, that's just dark and disturbing.