History Quotes / CanonSue

->''"An interesting aspect of [[Creator/JonPertwee Pertwee's]] Doctor is that it is the first time the character of the Doctor was [[WriteWhoYouKnow modeled directly on the actor]]...I don't mean to paint him as a [[ThePrimaDonna prima donna]] (Oh, OK, I actually kind of do, given the frequency with which he apparently stormed off set and his insistence that the past Doctors be relegated firmly to guest star status in [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS10E1TheThreeDoctors}} The Three Doctors]]), because the obvious consequence of this would likely have happened to any star in that circumstance. The inherent egoism of being the star is going to bleed into the part. And with Pertwee it rapidly did.\\\

->''"We rejoin Eddie in the strip club, as he chugs a beer to the sound of the music, playing and swaying! It’s actually pretty impressive on [[Creator/NicolasCage (Nic) Cage’s]] part... The girl dancing on stage comes up, jiggling her bare breasts in Eddie’s face. It’s good to be the director’s brother, isn’t it?"''\\
--'''''Website/TheAgonyBooth''''' [[http://www.agonybooth.com/movies/Deadfall_1993.aspx?Page=4 on]] ''{{Film/Deadfall}}'' (1993)

->''"An interesting aspect of [[Creator/JonPertwee Pertwee's]] Doctor is that it is the first time the character of the Doctor was modeled directly on the actor...The consequences of this are wide-ranging...I don't mean to paint him as a [[ThePrimaDonna prima donna]] (Oh, OK, I actually kind of do, given the frequency with which he apparently stormed off set and his insistence that the past Doctors be relegated firmly to guest star status in [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS10E1TheThreeDoctors}} The Three Doctors]]), because the obvious consequence of this would likely have happened to any star in that circumstance. The inherent egoism of being the star is going to bleed into the part. And with Pertwee it rapidly did.\\\

->''"When you picture the kind of filmmaker who would write, direct and produce a movie just to cast himself in the lead role of martial arts master rock star, you're picturing David Heavener (''Lethal Ninja'', ''Kill Crazy''). Undiscovered actresses take one look at him and know his first question is going to be unzipping his pants. If evil scientists collected all the sperm from Hollywood [[CastingCouch casting room couches]] and jammed it into Tori Spelling, David Heavener is the beast that would hatch from her chestplate... Heavener is a living TimAndEric sketch, and his fight scenes are [[WhatTheFuAreYouDoing violent mockeries of violence]]. It's often hard to tell if Heavener is trying to punch someone in the face or knock the boom mic above their heads out of frame."''\\
--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''' [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/9-supposed-action-stars-who-clearly-couldnt-fight/ "9 Supposed Action Stars Who Clearly Couldn't Fight"]]

->''"After a decade or so of kicking the world's eyeballs in the nuts, anybody is bound to develop an ego. ChuckNorris decided that wasn't enough, and outdid everybody by cultivating arrogance so magnificent it wears a tiny cape and crown of its own. In his later movies, the fight scenes don't even bother building suspense by letting the bad guys touch Chuck. He holds a foot out, the camera settles itself behind it, and you sit back and watch as a disembodied boot [[BoringInvincibleHero mows down wave after wave of anonymous terrorist.]] Some actors phone it in when they're not into a movie; Chuck Norris didn't even send a fax. Eventually he decided he may as well write the parts himself, and proceeded to create ''Series/WalkerTexasRanger''. A show he at various points wrote, produced, directed, starred in and even sang the theme song for. It depicts him as everything from a cop to [[AnswersToTheNameOfGod the messiah.]] Chuck Norris focused his steely glare entirely on ''Walker, Texas Ranger'' to the exclusion of all other projects. The show rapidly devolved into a masturbatory tribute to Chuck Norris by Chuck Norris, spouting scene after scene of hero worship so out of touch with reality it became the most [[{{Narm}} unintentionally hilarious]] show on television."''\\
--'''''{{Website/Cracked}}''''', [[http://www.cracked.com/article_15819_5-movie-martial-artists-that-lost-deathmatch-to-dignity_p5.html#ixzz31rOsvMUN "5 Movie Martial Artists That Lost a Deathmatch to Dignity"]]

->''"[[Creator/LeonardNimoy Nimoy]] enjoyed great success as the director of ''Film/StarTrekIIITheSearchForSpock'' and ''Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome'' ([[TheOneWith the 'whale' one]], most successful of the ''Franchise/StarTrek'' movies). This allowed him the opportunity to helm the blockbuster ''{{Three Men and a Baby}}'', which for years remained the most successful Hollywood comedy ever. [[Creator/WilliamShatner Shatner]] decided that it was his turn to direct a movie, and refused to sign up for the fifth ''Star Trek'' film unless he was allowed to direct. So it came to be, with Shatner co-writing the film as well...It’s somehow poetic that Shatner, who allowed his ego to run amok during the making of this film, should have delivered such [[BoxOfficeBomb a bomb]]. For the movie’s biggest problem is that the entire film is noticeably tilted towards his own character, James Kirk. Nimoy, on the other hand, took obvious pains in the films he directed to keep Spock merely part of the ensemble (admittedly, one of the more important parts). Yet, there’s no denying that this film was designed as a valentine to James T., and that the other characters, Spock and [=McCoy=] included, are merely around [[GreekChorus to back him up and admire him]]. In the end, Shatner remained mysteriously unhumbled by his disastrous directorial debut. For years to come, he continued to [[IRejectYourReality live in a fantasy world]] wherein he would be allowed to direct another ''Star Trek'' movie. This was a regular refrain during interviews with him, and never failed to send a chill up the spine of Trekkies everywhere."''\\
--'''Jabootu''' [[http://www.jabootu.com/startrekv.htm on]] ''Film/StarTrekVTheFinalFrontier''

->''"So, Phoebe's like super-famous now, with her advice column ''Ask Phoebe.'' Apparently this is a big deal to people, because [[InformedAbility she writes the best advice in the world and she's perfect human being]]. How does she handle being so pretty and talented, intuitive and clever, and somebody kill me now. Someone, tell me: in ''what'' world you get interviews, billboards, assistants, potential national syndication ''and'' a radio show, all for shitting out stock love advice like, 'Follow your heart'?...How is she qualified in any way to give people dating tips? Since when has she made ''any'' good dating decisions? Her guys have always been terrible, even in the show's canon. They had this thing where [[AllGirlsWantBadBoys she always dated bad boys]] or made stupid decisions--back in the days when she was a character, and not an ego-stroking cutout Alyssa Milano could live vicariously through."''\\
--'''WebVideo/ObscurusLupa''' on ''{{Series/Charmed}}'' Season 5

->''"Let’s face it: it has almost always been good to be Wrestling/EricBischoff. Before he was getting paid big bucks to spend bottomless pits of someone else’s money in Wrestling/{{TNA}}, he was… well, doing exactly that in Wrestling/{{WCW}}. The difference was that starting in 1996, the spending spree was really paying off, with the Wrestling/NewWorldOrder angle being perhaps the hottest in wrestling history. In fact, the faction had grown so dominant that they were regularly (and intentionally) making the rest of the company look weak... All power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely, and absolute power in the hands of Eric Bischoff meant non-stop {{squash match}}es and [[ThePornomancer rogering homely chicks]]."''\\
--'''''{{Website/WrestleCrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/nwo-souled-out-1997/ "[=nWo=] Souled Out 1997 - Eric Bishoff's Circle-Jerk"]]

->''"Let’s face it: it has almost always been good to be Wrestling/EricBischoff. Before he was getting paid big bucks to spend bottomless pits of someone else’s money in {{TNA}}, he was… well, doing exactly that in {{WCW}}. The difference was that starting in 1996, the spending spree was really paying off, with the Wrestling/NewWorldOrder angle being perhaps the hottest in wrestling history. In fact, the faction had grown so dominant that they were regularly (and intentionally) making the rest of the company look weak... All power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely, and absolute power in the hands of Eric Bischoff meant non-stop {{squash match}}es and [[ThePornomancer rogering homely chicks]]."''\\
--'''''{{Website/Wrestlecrap}}''''', [[http://www.wrestlecrap.com/inductions/nwo-souled-out-1997/ "NWO Souled Out 1997 - Eric Bishoff's Circle-Jerk"]]

->"''The next thing you need to do is create your main character, and since it's important to {{write who you know}}, the main character will obviously be ''you''; but while you are a repressed, socially retarded dullard who no one would ever honestly admit to liking, your author insertion character is a fantasy, so they will be [[LoveableRogue a charismatic eccentric]] who is [[InformedAttractiveness unconditionally loved]] by everyone, even while he's setting their dog on fire.''"
--->-- '''[[WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation Yahtzee Croshaw]]''' on ''GamingWebcomics''

-->"''The next thing you need to do is create your main character, and since it's important to {{write who you know}}, the main character will obviously be ''you''; but while you are a repressed, socially retarded dullard who no one would ever honestly admit to liking, your author insertion character is a fantasy, so they will be [[LoveableRogue a charismatic eccentric]] who is [[InformedAttractiveness unconditionally loved]] by everyone, even while he's setting their dog on fire.''"
---> '''[[WebAnimation/ZeroPunctuation Yahtzee]]''' on ''GamingWebcomics''

Look at the opening of Inferno, as he drives along in Bessie singing. It's a scene that assumes, unhesitatingly, that the viewer just likes watching Jon Pertwee as the Doctor for the sake of watching Jon Pertwee as the Doctor, doing Doctory things...the problem with a Doctor defined by pure confidence is that [[BoringInvincibleHero you can't knock him off his game]]. As a result, Pertwee's Doctor is kept safe to a degree unseen in previous versions."''\\

->''"An interesting aspect of [[Creator/JonPertwee Pertwee's]] Doctor is that it is the first time the character of the Doctor was modeled directly on the actor...The consequences of this are wide-ranging. A fair case can be made that part of the dip in reputation the Pertwee era suffered in [[UsefulNotes/TheNineties the 90s]] came down to Pertwee's somewhat stiff and rehearsed manner at conventions as he appeared '[[LostInCharacter in character]]' as the Doctor. Certainly the degree to which Pertwee simply handled almost all interviews with a set of rehearsed lines ('Yeti-in-the-loo' and all) and vaguely in character is somewhat oddly alienating to watch, even decades later....I don't mean to paint him as a [[ThePrimaDonna prima donna]] (Oh, OK, I actually kind of do, given the frequency with which he apparently stormed off set and his insistence that the past Doctors be relegated firmly to guest star status in [[{{Recap/DoctorWhoS10E1TheThreeDoctors}} The Three Doctors]]), because the obvious consequence of this would likely have happened to any star in that circumstance. The inherent egoism of being the star is going to bleed into the part. And with Pertwee it rapidly did.\\\

->''"This episode is once again about Janeway the Mary Sue. First we have this Harlequin thing going on down on the planet as she strives to find a cure while tempted by [[{{Hunk}} the chiseled native.]] Up on the ship, it's all about how much everyone misses them, even after months. I don't remember everyone being this upset for this long when Paris left. I don't remember anyone being this choked up over the many people who've died out here for this long. Just like in "Alliances" when Torres suddenly snaps at anyone who questions the captain [[NegativeContinuity while she herself had done so just the episode before]], ''(Executive Producer)'' Jeri Taylor presumes an importance about Janeway that just doesn't fit with what we've actually seen. Remember that this is a person who just last week killed a member of the crew! Also, recall "[[Series/StarTrekTheNextGeneration "The Best Of Both Worlds"]], in which Picard was taken from them, and Riker gives the order to destroy the ship anyway -- except for the guest star, none of the crew tries anything to stand in Riker's way, and this from a crew that knew Picard for far longer."''\\
--'''{{Website/SFDebris}}''' on ''Series/StarTrekVoyager'', "Resolutions"

->''"[[Creator/LeonardNimoy Nimoy]] enjoyed great success as the director of ''Film/StarTrekIIITheSearchForSpock'' and ''Film/StarTrekIVTheVoyageHome'' ([[TheOneWith the 'whale' one]], most successful of the ''Franchise/StarTrek'' movies). This allowed him the opportunity to helm the blockbuster ''{{Three Men and a Baby}}'', which for years remained the most successful Hollywood comedy ever. [[Creator/WilliamShatner Shatner]] decided that it was his turn to direct a movie, and refused to sign up for the fifth ''Star Trek'' film unless he was allowed to direct. So it came to be, with Shatner co-writing the film as well...It’s somehow poetic that Shatner, who allowed his ego to run amok during the making of this film, should have delivered such [[BoxOfficeBomb a bomb]]. For the movie’s biggest problem is that the entire film is noticeably tilted towards his own character, James Kirk. Nimoy, on the other hand, took obvious pains in the films he directed to keep Spock merely part of the ensemble (admittedly, one of the more important parts). Yet, there’s no denying that this film was designed as a valentine to James T., and that the other characters, Spock and [=McCoy=] included, are merely around [[GreekChorus to back him up and admire him]]. In the end, Shatner remained mysteriously unhumbled by his disastrous directorial debut. For years to come, he continued to live in a fantasy world wherein he would be allowed to direct another ''Star Trek'' movie. This was a regular refrain during interviews with him, and never failed to send a chill up the spine of Trekkies everywhere."''\\

->''"If the movie were retitled ''[[InNameOnly Ben Stiller Is Secretly Way More Awesome Than You]]'', I'd probably have less of an issue."''
-->-- '''''Topless Robot''''' [[http://www.toplessrobot.com/2013/12/fanboy_flick_pick_ben_stiller_walter_mitty.php?page=2 on]] ''The Secret Life of Walter Mitty'' (2013)

->''"Lana Lang was the prototypical everything to everyone character. She could hit someone for disagreeing with her, [[ProtagonistCenteredMorality but if someone hit her, they were a villain]]. She knew karate, but was ever the victim. Hypocritical in almost every respect, she would set standards for others that she could not keep herself, and in the end [[ScrewTheRulesImBeautiful was forgiven all for being beautiful]]. 'Face it, [[InformedAttractiveness you're amazing.]]'"''
-->--'''Neal Bailey''' [[http://www.supermanhomepage.com/tv/tv.php?topic=reviews/smallville-finale1 on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}''[='s=] most beloved character

->''"Incidentally, each of H.H.'s narratives is peridocically brought to a halt while he provides the reader with highly detailed capsule biographies written in ''Who's Who'' style. H.H. plainly enjoys composing plausible (and implausible) biographies for his characters--not to mention himself. In ''Contemporary Authors'', H.H. composed a bio for one of his pseudonyms, Robert Dietrich, taking ten years off his age, putting himself in the infrantry during Korea, awarding himself a Bronze Star and a degree from Georgetown."''\\

->''"After a decade or so of kicking the world's eyeballs in the nuts, anybody is bound to develop an ego. ChuckNorris decided that wasn't enough, and outdid everybody by cultivating arrogance so magnificent it wears a tiny cape and crown of its own. In his later movies, the fight scenes don't even bother building suspense by letting the bad guys touch Chuck. He holds a foot out, the camera settles itself behind it, and you sit back and watch as a disembodied boot [[BoringInvincibleHero mows down wave after wave of anonymous terrorist.]] Some actors phone it in when they're not into a movie; Chuck Norris didn't even send a fax. Eventually he decided he may as well write the parts himself, and proceeded to create ''Series/WalkerTexasRanger''. A show he at various points wrote, produced, directed, starred in and even sang the theme song for. It depicts him as everything from a cop to [[AGodAmI the messiah.]] Chuck Norris focused his steely glare entirely on ''Walker, Texas Ranger'' to the exclusion of all other projects. The show rapidly devolved into a masturbatory tribute to Chuck Norris by Chuck Norris, spouting scene after scene of hero worship so out of touch with reality it became the most [[{{Narm}} unintentionally hilarious]] show on television."''\\

->''"When you picture the kind of filmmaker who would write, direct and produce a movie just to cast himself in the lead role of martial arts master rock star, you're picturing David Heavener (''Lethal Ninja'', ''Kill Crazy''). Undiscovered actresses take one look at him and know his first question is going to be unzipping his pants. If evil scientists collected all the sperm from Hollywood casting room couches and jammed it into Tori Spelling, David Heavener is the beast that would hatch from her chestplate... Heavener is a living TimAndEric sketch, and his fight scenes are [[WhatTheFuAreYouDoing violent mockeries of violence]]. It's often hard to tell if Heavener is trying to punch someone in the face or knock the boom mic above their heads out of frame."''\\

->''"When you picture the kind of filmmaker who would write, direct and produce a movie just to cast himself in the lead role of martial arts master rock star, you're picturing David Heavener (''Lethal Ninja'', ''Kill Crazy''). Undiscovered actresses take one look at him and know his first question is going to be unzipping his pants. If evil scientists collected all the sperm from Hollywood casting room couches and jammed it into Tori Spelling, David Heavener is the beast that would hatch from her chestplate... Heavener is a living TimAndEric sketch, and his fight scenes are [[WhatTheFuAreYouDoing violent mockeries of violence]]. It's often hard to tell if Heavener is trying to punch someone in the face or knock the boom mic above their heads out of frame."''
-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''' [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/9-supposed-action-stars-who-clearly-couldnt-fight/ "9 Supposed Action Stars Who Clearly Couldn't Fight"]]

->''"Let’s face it: it has almost always been good to be Wrestling/Eric Bischoff. Before he was getting paid big bucks to spend bottomless pits of someone else’s money in {{TNA}}, he was… well, doing exactly that in {{WCW}}. The difference was that starting in 1996, the spending spree was really paying off, with the Wrestling/NewWorldOrder angle being perhaps the hottest in wrestling history. In fact, the faction had grown so dominant that they were regularly (and intentionally) making the rest of the company look weak... All power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely, and absolute power in the hands of Eric Bischoff meant non-stop {{squash match}}es and [[ThePornomancer rogering homely chicks]]."''\\

->''"Incidentally, each of H.H.'s narratives is peridocically brought to a halt while he provides the reader with highly detailed capsule biographies written in ''Who's Who'' style. H.H. plainly enjoys composing plausible (and implausible) biographies for his characters--not to mention himself. In ''Contemporary Authors'', H.H. composed a bio for one of his pseudonyms, Robert Dietrich, taking ten years off his age, putting himself in the infrantry during Korea, awarding himself a Bronze Star and a degree from Georgetown... He masters everything, in fact, but Washington itself with its "muggers and heroin pushers and whiteslavers and the faggotry... This town needs [[UsefulNotes/RichardNixon a purifying rain!]]"''\\

->''"So, Phoebe's like super-famous now, with her advice column ''Ask Phoebe.'' Apparently this is a big deal to people, because [[InformedAbility she writes the best advice in the world and she's perfect human being]]. How does she handle being so pretty and talented, intuitive and clever, and somebody kill me now. Someone, tell me: in ''what'' world you get interviews, billboards, assistants, potential national syndication ''and'' a radio show, all for shitting out stock love advice like, 'Follow your heart'?...How is she qualified in any way to give people dating tips? Since when has she made ''any'' good dating decisions? Her guys have always been terrible, even in the show's canon. They had this thing where [[AllGirlsWantBadBoys she always dated bad boys]] or made stupid decisions--back in the day when she was a character, and not an ego-stroking cutout Alyssa Milano could live vicariously through."''\\