History Quotes / CalvinAndHobbes

22nd Aug '17 9:21:49 AM GrammarNavi
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->'''Calvin''': Somewhere in [[SovietRussiaUkraineAndSoOn communist]] UsefulNotes/{{Russia}} I'll bet there's a little boy who has never known anything but censorship and oppression. But maybe he's heard about [[UsefulNotes/TheUnitedStates America]], and he dreams of living in this land of freedom and opportunity! Someday, I'd like to meet that little boy... And tell him the awful '''TRUTH''' about this place!!\\

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->'''Calvin''': Somewhere in [[SovietRussiaUkraineAndSoOn [[UsefulNotes/SovietRussiaUkraineAndSoOn communist]] UsefulNotes/{{Russia}} I'll bet there's a little boy who has never known anything but censorship and oppression. But maybe he's heard about [[UsefulNotes/TheUnitedStates America]], and he dreams of living in this land of freedom and opportunity! Someday, I'd like to meet that little boy... And tell him the awful '''TRUTH''' about this place!!\\
30th Jul '17 1:48:16 AM MoPete
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-> '''Calvin''': If ignorance is bliss, this lesson would appear to be a deliberate attempt on your part to deprive me of happiness, the pursuit of which is my unalienable right according to the Declaration of Independence. I therefore assert my patriotic prerogative not to know this material. I'll be out on the playground.
-->--''Calvin and Hobbes'', 14 October 1992
29th Jul '17 11:34:40 PM MoPete
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->'''Calvin''': --the scandals of your administration continue to haunt you.\\
'''Dad''': Scandals? What scandals?!\\
'''Calvin''': [[{{Scandalgate}} Bedtimegate and Homeworkgate]] come readily to mind.\\
'''Dad''': Instances of true leadership. History will vindicate me.
-->--''Calvin and Hobbes'', 11 April 1988
29th Jul '17 7:07:04 PM MoPete
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'''Gender Roles and Stereotypes'''
->'''Calvin''': You're lucky that '''girls''' don't have to put up with this nonsense. If a '''girl''' doesn't want to play sports, that's fine! But if a '''guy''' doesn't spend his afternoons chasing some stupid ball, he's call a wimp! You girls have it easy!\\
'''Susie''': On the other hand, '''boys''' aren't expected to spent their lives 20 pounds underweight.
-->--''Calvin and Hobbes'', 26 April 1990
28th Jul '17 2:34:34 AM MoPete
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->'''Calvin''': I don't believe in ethics any more. As far as I'm concerned, the ends justify the means. Get what you can while the getting's good, that's what I say! MightMakesRight! [[WrittenByTheWinners The winners write the history books!]] It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, so I'll do whatever I have to and let others argue about whether it's 'right' or not.\\
''Hobbes trips him into the mud.''\\
'''Calvin''': WAUGH! (Beat) What'd you do ''that'' for?\\

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->'''Calvin''': I don't believe in ethics any more. As far as I'm concerned, the ends justify the means. Get what you can while the getting's good, that's what I say! MightMakesRight! [[WrittenByTheWinners The winners write the history books!]] It's a dog-eat-dog world out there, world, so I'll do whatever I have to to, and let others argue about whether it's 'right' or not.\\
''Hobbes trips him suddenly shoves Calvin into the mud.a mud hole.''\\
'''Calvin''': WAUGH! HEYY! (Beat) What'd Why'd you do ''that'' for?\\''that''?!?\\
20th Jul '17 2:26:34 AM MoPete
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'''Home Improvement'''

->'''Dad''': "Before beginning any home-plumbing repair, make sure you possess the proper tools for the job. Check the following list of handy expletives, and see that you know how to use them."
-->--''Calvin and Hobbes'', 31 May 1987

->'''Hobbes''': What are you doing with all your dad's tools in the bathroom?\\
'''Calvin''': This faucet drips, so I'm going to fix it.\\
'''Hobbes''': '''''You're''''' going to fix it?\\
'''Calvin''': That's what I said. ...And you can keep your comments to yourself, Dr. Doom.
-->--''Calvin and Hobbes'', 8 August 1988



-->--Calvin deciding if he will ride his sledge down the hill or not.

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-->--Calvin deciding if he will ride his sledge sled down the hill or not.
20th Jul '17 2:11:27 AM MoPete
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'''Calvin:''' I'm only civil because I don't know any swear words.

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'''Calvin:''' '''Calvin''': I'm only civil because I don't know any swear words.


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'''Statistics'''
->'''Calvin''': Dad, your polls took a big dive this week. Your "Overall Dad Performance" rating was especially low. See? Right about yesterday your popularity went down the tubes.\\
'''Dad''': '''''Calvin, you didn't get dessert yesterday because you flooded the house!!'''''
-->--''Calvin and Hobbes'', 28 January 1986
9th Jul '17 1:32:34 PM LizardOfAus
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->'''Calvin:''' You're stalling!

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->'''Calvin:''' You're stalling!
'''You're stalllling!'''


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->'''Calvin''': I used to hate writing assignments, but now I enjoy them. I realised that the purpose of writing is to inflate weak ideas, obscure poor reasoning, and inhibit clarity. With a little practice, writing can be an intimidating and impenetrable fog! Want to see my book report?\\
'''Hobbes''': "The Dynamics of Interbeing and Monological Imperatives in ''Dick and Jane'': A Study in Psychic Transrelational Gender Modes."\\
'''Calvin''': Academia, here I come!
23rd Jun '17 3:49:06 AM MoPete
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->'''Calvin''': What assurance do I have that this education is adequately preparing me for the 21st century? Am I getting the skills I'll need to effectively compete in a tough, global economy? I want a high-paying job when I get out of here! I want opportunity!\\
'''Miss Wormwood''': In that case, young man, I suggest you start working harder. What you get out of school depends on what you put into it.\\
'''Calvin''': Oh. Then forget it.
-->--''Calvin and Hobbes'', 30 March 1992
19th Jun '17 6:24:02 PM MoPete
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->'''Calvin''': Why aren't we hooked up to an on-line service, so we can connect to other computers?\\
'''Dad''': Because it's bad enough we have a telephone.

->'''Dad''': It used to be that if a client wanted something done in a week, it was considered a rush job, and he'd be lucky to get it. Now, with modems, faxes, and car phones, everybody wants everything instantly! Improved technology just increases expectations. These machines don't make life easier -- they make life more harassed.\\
'''Calvin''': Six minutes to microwave this?? Who's got that kind of time?!
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/article_history.php?article=Quotes.CalvinAndHobbes