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-->-- WebVideo/SchaffrillasProductions, regarding the Battle Mode version of Toad's Turnpike from base ''VideoGame/MarioKart8''
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-->-- WebVideo/SchaffrillasProductions, regarding the Battle Mode version of Toad's Turnpike from base ''VideoGame/MarioKart8''''VideoGame/MarioKart8'', "[[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XuRCWrCrhuc&t=5236s Every Mario Kart 8 Deluxe Course Ranked]]"
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->''It is the absolute worst! The sorriest excuse for a battle map ever! To the point where I don't even know if F-tier accurately captures my feelings!'' '''''THIS SHIT BELONGS IN G-TIER! CONGRATULATIONS, TOAD'S TURNPIKE!'''''
-->-- WebVideo/SchaffrillasProductions, regarding the Battle Mode version of Toad's Turnpike from base ''VideoGame/MarioKart8''
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-->--'''Creator/TerryPratchett''', from ''Lords and Ladies''
->So there you have it. Games ''so'' bad we can't review them because our rating scale doesn't have a zero.
->So there you have it. Games ''so'' bad we can't review them because our rating scale doesn't have a zero.
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->So
->''So there you have it. Games ''so'' bad we can't review them because our rating scale doesn't have a zero.''
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->This game officially received the lowest score in the history of Gamespot: a 1.0. And by lowest, I mean it can't go any lower. We don't hand out zeroes, but maybe we should have for ''VideoGame/BigRigsOverTheRoadRacing''.
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->if you learn only one thing from all we've written today, make sure it's that giving FATAL a 1/1 Style/Substance rating was an insult to almost every other product on RPG.net that ever got a 1/1.
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->The worst pay-per-view in years. This was horrible! Horrible! [[SarcasmFailure I don't even know what else to say]]...I should do a Wrestling/ChrisJericho promo and start reading out of a thesaurus--horrible, wretched... appalling... atrocious, insulting... god, this was horrible! This show didn't have a single match above two-and-a-half stars. It had one match[[note]]Jenna Morasca vs. Sharmell[[/note]] that I gave '''[[PunctuatedForEmphasis MINUS. FIVE. STARS!]]'''
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->This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie [[InsultToRocks doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels]].
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->Since my last report, this employee has hit rock bottom and has started to dig.
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->No-one on staff wants to play any more of this video game. I'm not going to subject myself to another 20-30 hours of this fucking mess just to put a number on it. My number is fucking don't play this game.
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->It's impossible to grade Chemicritters on their own without taking the entire Gemini mechanic into consideration. I don't want to do that, so this is a solid carbon monoxide poisoning out of 5.
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-->'''Morgan Webb''', ''Series/XPlay''
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->It's impossible to grade Chemicritters on their own without taking the entire Gemini mechanic into consideration. I don't want to do that, so this is a solid carbon monoxide poisoning out of 5.
-->-- '''WebVideo/Rank10YGO''' on [[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Apn6S9YS9EI Chemicritters]]
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-->-- '''Jeff Gertsmann''', on why ''Giant Bomb'' never formally reviewed ''VideoGame/Fallout76''
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-->-- '''Jeff Gertsmann''', Gerstmann''', on why ''Giant Bomb'' never formally reviewed ''VideoGame/Fallout76''
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->No-one on staff wants to play any more of this video game. I'm not going to subject myself to another 20-30 hours of this fucking mess just to put a number on it. My number is fucking don't play this game.
-->-- '''Jeff Gertsmann''', on why ''Giant Bomb'' never formally reviewed ''VideoGame/Fallout76''
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Deleted line(s) 1,3 (click to see context) :
->...in all my years of reviewing -- from the beginning of the 20th century clear through to the end of the 21st - I never expected to come across an album with such a volative mixture of uncreative melody, embarrassing production and offensive, moronic lyricism that it would physically bust through the bottom of my scale and force my wife to design a graphic for 'ZERO'. After all, how would one go about getting a ZERO on a scale of 1 to 10? Genius that she is, Music/{{Madonna}} has figured it out!
-->--'''Creator/MarkPrindle''' on ''American Life''
-->--'''Creator/MarkPrindle''' on ''American Life''
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->Would you believe that a 30-year-old {{VideoGame/Pong}} console attached to a cell phone adapter would work, but a cutting-edge, snarling [[UsefulNotes/AtariJaguar Jaguar]] doesn't? There's something wrong here. And you know what? [[CrackIsCheaper I blew 250 bucks on this thing.]] So, you know what I did? ''Bought another one.'' Yeah, and guess what? It doesn't work, either. So, that's about $450 total I blew on two dead Jaguars. And these things are rare! So when the only two that I can manage to get my hands on just don't work, that leads me to believe that these things [[InstantAiJustAddWater MOST DEFINITELY ARE SELF-AWARE.]] They don't ''wanna'' work! You can't make 'em! They just '''''REFUSE''''' to be reviewed! And I've ''never'' had that happen. So, The End.
-->--'''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''' on the Jaguar CD
->Even ''Magazine/{{Nintendo Power}}'' couldn't get excited about this game, and that was the kind of magazine that could do an 8 page feature on ''Care Bears Care Quest''. ''Nintendo Power'' reviewed games the same way Helen Keller masturbated-- [[RefugeInAudacity indiscriminately and with an unbreakable positive spirit]]. For example, the only criticism they had for ''Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball'' was that the label came off after [[YesMan a single six hour kiss]]. Yet when they previewed ''Socks the Cat Rocks the Hill'' they panned it. They panned it on the same page as an excited sneak peek at ''Rex Ronan: Experimental Surgeon'', an [[EdutainmentGame educational game]] about lung cancer awareness.
-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-real-video-games-that-were-too-insane-to-release_p2/#ixzz31e75VhXt "6 Real Video Games That Were Too Insane to Release"]]
-->--'''WebVideo/TheAngryVideoGameNerd''' on the Jaguar CD
->Even ''Magazine/{{Nintendo Power}}'' couldn't get excited about this game, and that was the kind of magazine that could do an 8 page feature on ''Care Bears Care Quest''. ''Nintendo Power'' reviewed games the same way Helen Keller masturbated-- [[RefugeInAudacity indiscriminately and with an unbreakable positive spirit]]. For example, the only criticism they had for ''Bill Laimbeer's Combat Basketball'' was that the label came off after [[YesMan a single six hour kiss]]. Yet when they previewed ''Socks the Cat Rocks the Hill'' they panned it. They panned it on the same page as an excited sneak peek at ''Rex Ronan: Experimental Surgeon'', an [[EdutainmentGame educational game]] about lung cancer awareness.
-->--'''{{Creator/Seanbaby}}''', [[http://www.cracked.com/blog/6-real-video-games-that-were-too-insane-to-release_p2/#ixzz31e75VhXt "6 Real Video Games That Were Too Insane to Release"]]
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->'''Rich:''' My pick is going to be something unusual. If I had to pick not the Worst of the Worst but the ''Best''... I'm picking ''Lethal Ninja'' as the Best of the Worst. '''But''', because that first hour and 10 minutes is ''so'' bad, I'm also picking it ''as the film we destroy''.\\
''([[WildTake everyone recoils as if from an earthquake]])''\\
'''Len Kabasinski :''' What... just... happened? Is this real life?
-->--''WebVideo/BestOfTheWorst'' on ''Lethal Ninja'' (1992)
->All right. Fine. I keep getting letters, I've gotten letters from the beginning, asking me if I would give an episode a zero. I say, no, because that's not really a review. 1 is the end of the scale of awful. 5 is the best of the best. Zero would just be something that didn't even register. [[FanonDiscontinuity Something that didn't exist. Something less than nothing to me.]]\\\
This is my closure for Lex after all this invested time and effort? [[SpecialEffectsFailure An unfinished poor CG fortress collapse]] in the midst of [[{{Narm}} cheesy dialogue?]]\\\
0 of 5.
-->--'''Neal Bailey''' [[http://www.supermanhomepage.com/tv/tv.php?topic=reviews/smallville7-ep20 on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Arctic")
''([[WildTake everyone recoils as if from an earthquake]])''\\
'''Len Kabasinski :''' What... just... happened? Is this real life?
-->--''WebVideo/BestOfTheWorst'' on ''Lethal Ninja'' (1992)
->All right. Fine. I keep getting letters, I've gotten letters from the beginning, asking me if I would give an episode a zero. I say, no, because that's not really a review. 1 is the end of the scale of awful. 5 is the best of the best. Zero would just be something that didn't even register. [[FanonDiscontinuity Something that didn't exist. Something less than nothing to me.]]\\\
This is my closure for Lex after all this invested time and effort? [[SpecialEffectsFailure An unfinished poor CG fortress collapse]] in the midst of [[{{Narm}} cheesy dialogue?]]\\\
0 of 5.
-->--'''Neal Bailey''' [[http://www.supermanhomepage.com/tv/tv.php?topic=reviews/smallville7-ep20 on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Arctic")
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-->-- Supposedly from [[http://www.waterfallrecordings.com/evaluations.html a read employee review]].
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-->-- Supposedly from [[http://www.waterfallrecordings.com/evaluations.html a read real employee review]].
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->This game officially received the lowest score in the history of Gamespot: a 1.0. And by lowest, I mean it can't go any lower. We don't hand out zeroes, but maybe we should have for ''BigRigsOverTheRoadRacing''.
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->This game officially received the lowest score in the history of Gamespot: a 1.0. And by lowest, I mean it can't go any lower. We don't hand out zeroes, but maybe we should have for ''BigRigsOverTheRoadRacing''.''VideoGame/BigRigsOverTheRoadRacing''.
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->This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.
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->This movie doesn't scrape the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't the bottom of the barrel. This movie isn't below the bottom of the barrel. This movie [[InsultToRocks doesn't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with barrels.barrels]].
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-->--'''Neal Bailey''' [[http://www.supermanhomepage.com/tv/tv.php?topic=reviews/smallville7-ep20 on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Artic")
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-->--'''Neal Bailey''' [[http://www.supermanhomepage.com/tv/tv.php?topic=reviews/smallville7-ep20 on]] ''{{Series/Smallville}}'' ("Artic")
("Arctic")