History PlayingWith / ArsonMurderAndJayWalking

** "He destroyed multiple planets, he inflicted the population of an entire planet into a FateWorseThanDeath, he raped thousands of females and he crossed the road on a red light once."

** "He's decapitated everyone he sees in his path, he kidnapped 100 children, and he leaves his pants down at the toilet."
** "He's tortured his family, he left them behind in his basement to leave them to starve, and he got an F on his math test."
** "He's committed arson on his grandparents' home, he murdered his children and he jaywalks."
** "He massacred an entire elementary school, he killed the president and cut in line during lunch."
** "He's destroyed multiple planets, he inflicted the population of an entire planet into a FateWorseThanDeath, he raped thousands of females and he crossed the road on a red light once."

** "He massacred an entire elementary school, he killed the president and made a baby cry."

** "He massacred an entire elementary school, killed the president and made a baby cry."

** "He massacred an entire family, killed the president and made a baby cry."

** "He's committed arson on his grandparents' home, he murdered his children and he jaywalks."

** "He massacred an entire family, killed the president and made a baby cry."

** "He massacred an entire school, killed the president and made a baby cry once."

** "He scolds at me, he never cleans his room by himself and he often eats Hawaiian pizza"

** "He never says 'sorry' and he leaves the toilet seat up."

** Alice lists reasons why Bob is awesome, saying "He saves lives, he collects for charitable causes, and he makes great pasta."

** "...and he eats lots of junk food with neither exercise nor healthier food! totally neglects himself, and he refuses to watch new Creator/{{Netflix}} original series!"

** "...and he eats lots of junk food with neither exercise nor healthier food! totally neglects himself, and [[TakeThat he sells NFTs.]]"

** "He drinks a lot....of ''Coca-Cola''!"
* '''Subverted''': "He drinks a lot, he's a philanderer, and he leaves the toilet seat up...then he beat his last girlfriend with the said toilet seat."
* '''Double Subverted''': "...''And'' his haircut makes his ears look big!"

** "He never say 'sorry' and he leaves the toilet seat up."

** "He drinks a lot....I mean he drinks ''Coca-Cola'' a lot!"

** "He drinks a lot and he leaves the toilet seat up."

** "He's tortured his family, he left them behind in his basement to leave them to starve, and he got a F in his math test."

** "He destroyed multiple planets, he enslaved several ''galaxies'' to do everything for him, and [[TakeThat he sells NFTs.]]

** "He's committed arson on his grandparents' home, he murdered his children and [[TakeThat he sells NFTs]]."

** "He's committed arson on his grandparents' home, he murdered his children and [[TaleThat he sells NFTs]]."

** "He's committed arson on his grandparents' home, he murdered his children and he sells [=NFTs=]."

** "He's committed arson on his grandparents' home, he murdered his children and he jaywalks."

* '''Parodied''': Carol and Diane are listening as Alice lists off her reasons. [[LawOfDisproportionateResponse They react with casual indifference to the allegations that he drinks a lot and cheats, but react with incredible shock when they find out he leaves the toilet seat up]].* '''Zig-Zagged''': "[[DepravedBisexual ...and he also beat his last boyfriend.]] ''And'' he has a silly haircut! ''And'' I think he does heroin! ''And''..."

* '''Parodied''': Carol and Diane are listening as Alice lists off her reasons. [[LawOfDisproportionateResponse They react with casual indifference to the allegations that he drinks a lot and cheats, but react with incredible shock when they find out he leaves the toilet seat up]].
* '''Zig-Zagged''': "[[DepravedBisexual ...and he also beat his last boyfriend.]] ''And'' he has a silly haircut! ''And'' I think he does heroin! ''And''..."
* '''Averted''': "He drinks a lot, he's a philanderer, and [[BerserkButton he always gets angry at people when they call him names.]]"

* '''Played For Drama''': Bob mentions jaywalking when listing his own crimes, which shows that he doesn't see any difference between murder and jaywalking.
* '''Played For Horror''': Alice is a violent KnightTemplar who would behead Bob [[AllCrimesAreEqual either]] because he jaywalked or because he shot his neighbor. She still lists Bob's crimes in order of alleged least priority because there is something about Bob going "wait a second, you're gonna kill me because I ''jaywalked''?" that makes the act more sweet for her.
* '''Untwisted''': "Please list your reasons by order of priority." "He drinks a lot, he's a philanderer, and he [[KickTheDog kicks dogs around in the street.]] By which I mean hot dogs."

%%

%%* '''Plotted A Good Waste''': ???
%%* '''Played For Laughs''': ???

* '''Downplayed''': "He doesn't say 'please' or 'thank you', he snaps at people for every slight, and he only eats his pasta with marinara sauce."

** See also: JaywalkingWillRuinYourLife

* '''Zig Zagged''': "[[DepravedBisexual ...and he also beat his last boyfriend.]] ''And'' he has a silly haircut! ''And'' I think he does heroin! ''And''..."

* '''Averted''': "He drinks a lot, he's a philanderer, and [[BeserkButton he always gets angry at people when they call him names.]]"

** [[ItMakesSenseInContext The toilet seat is secretly a device which activates a killer blade if it's been set up for too long, which would kill any unsuspecting person going to the toilet]].

** The "and he wears a silly hat" wasn't a crime but distinguished Bob from the other escaped mass murders on the FBI's most wanted list. It sounds trivial but it answers the question of "which one" quickly for those who don't recognize Bob's generic name.

* '''Subverted''': "He drinks a lot, he's a philanderer, and he leaves the toilet seat up...then he beat his last girlfriend with said toilet seat."

* '''Averted''':
** All of the items on the list are equally bad, or equally trivial problems.
** There is no list.

** "[[BigBad Emperor Evulz]], YouMonster You want to bring the EndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt, YouKilledMyFather and you mocked [[TheLancer Alice]]."

** "[[BigBad Emperor Evulz]], YouMonster! You want to bring the EndOfTheWorldAsWeKnowIt, YouKilledMyFather and you mocked [[TheLancer Alice]]."