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''Three things are certain in life: death, taxes, and people understanding what this trope is about by the time they finish this sentence.''
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* The song "For Now" from {{Avenue Q}} has a lyric: Except for death and paying taxes everything in life is only for now.
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* Inverted: Al Franken writes in ''Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them'' about the Republican Party's attempts to abolish the Estate Tax:
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* Inverted: Al Franken AlFranken writes in ''Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them'' about the Republican Party's attempts to abolish the Estate Tax:
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I like it this way, actually.
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!Examples:
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!Death, Taxes, and Examples of this Trope:
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!Examples
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* One proverb of anonymous origin observes, "Only three things in life are certain: birth, death, and change.?
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* One proverb of anonymous origin observes, "Only three things in life are certain: birth, death, and change.?"
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Because [[RuleOfThree three is a magic number]], appending a third item after "death" and "taxes" has the immediate effect of turning one person's observation of a perceived, frequently occurring event or incident into a punchline or poignant quip which shares much with TheTriple.
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Because [[RuleOfThree three is a magic number]], appending a third item after "death" and "taxes" has the immediate effect of turning one person's observation of a perceived, frequently occurring event or incident into a punchline or poignant quip which shares much with similarity to TheTriple.
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* One proverb of anonymous origin observes, "Only three things in life are certain: birth, death, and change.”
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* One proverb of anonymous origin observes, "Only three things in life are certain: birth, death, and change.”?
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Because [[RuleOfThree three is a magic number]], appending a third item after "death" and "taxes" has the immediate effect of turning one person's observation of a perceived, frequently occurring event or incident into a punchline or poignant quip which shares much in common with TheTriple.
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Because [[RuleOfThree three is a magic number]], appending a third item after "death" and "taxes" has the immediate effect of turning one person's observation of a perceived, frequently occurring event or incident into a punchline or poignant quip which shares much in common with TheTriple.
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* One proverb of anonymous origin observes, "Only three things in life are certain: birth, death, and change.”
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* One proverb of anonymous origin observes, "Only three things in life are certain: birth, death, and change.”
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Removed redundant example.
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* [[EurovisionSongContest There are only three things certain in life: Death, Taxes, and Greece and Cyprus exchanging maximum votes at Eurovision.]]
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* [[EurovisionSongContest There are only three things certain in life: Death, Taxes, and Greece and Cyprus exchanging maximum votes at Eurovision.]]
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* During a feud with USWA [[VinceMcMahon Vince McMahon]] claimed that there were only three guarantees in life: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I3mGNF1cLg Death, Taxes, and Randy Savage.]]
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* During a feud with USWA [[VinceMcMahon Vince McMahon]] claimed that there were only the three guarantees in life: life are [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I3mGNF1cLg Death, Taxes, and Randy Savage.]]
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* During a feud with USWA [[VinceMcMahon Vince McMahon]] claimed that there were only three guarantees in life: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I3mGNF1cLg Death, Taxes, and Randy Savage]].
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[[AC: ProfessionalWrestling]]
* During a feud with USWA [[VinceMcMahon Vince McMahon]] claimed that there were only three guarantees in life: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I3mGNF1cLg Death, Taxes, and Randy
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* During a feud with USWA [[VinceMcMahon]] claimed that there were only three guarantees in life: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I3mGNF1cLg Death, Taxes, and Randy Savage]].
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* During a feud with USWA [[VinceMcMahon]] [[VinceMcMahon Vince McMahon]] claimed that there were only three guarantees in life: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I3mGNF1cLg Death, Taxes, and Randy Savage]].
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* During a feud with USWA [[Vince McMahon]] claimed that there were only three guarantees in life: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I3mGNF1cLg Death, Taxes, and Randy Savage]].
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* During a feud with USWA [[Vince McMahon]] [[VinceMcMahon]] claimed that there were only three guarantees in life: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I3mGNF1cLg Death, Taxes, and Randy Savage]].
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* During a feud with USWA [[Vince McMahon]] claimed that there were only three guarantees in life: [[http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4I3mGNF1cLg Death, Taxes, and Randy Savage]].
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''Death, Taxes, and [[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife TV Tropes Ruining Your Life]].''
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----
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''Death, Taxes, and [[TVTropesWillRuinYourLife TV Tropes Ruining Your Life]].''
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* From ''MeetJoeBlack'', "...the truth is, joining John Bontecou is every bit as certain as death and taxes."
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* From ''MeetJoeBlack'', "...the truth is, joining John Bontecou is every bit as certain as death and taxes."
" This is said to [[TheGrimReaper Death himself in the guise of the eponymous Joe Black]], who expresses some surprise and amusement at the saying. Later on made into a borderline stealth pun when Joe Black impersonates an IRS agent.
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* [[TheHouseOfStuart Charles II]] is alleged to have said, "There are three things in life that are certain: death, taxes, and [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking that it is raining in Tavistock]]."
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* One ''{{Zits}}'' strip had the father saying, "The only things certain in life are death and taxes." The teen continues, "And homework." The mom finishes it off by thinking, "And knowing I'll get stuck with the dinner dishes."
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[[AC: {{Literature}}]]
* Inverted: Al Franken writes in ''Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them'' about the Republican Party's attempts to abolish the Estate Tax:
--> For America's heirs and heiresses, only one thing would be certain: death, OR taxes.
* Inverted: Al Franken writes in ''Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them'' about the Republican Party's attempts to abolish the Estate Tax:
--> For America's heirs and heiresses, only one thing would be certain: death, OR taxes.
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* Inverted: Al Franken writes in ''Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them'' about the Republican Party's attempts to abolish the Estate Tax:
--> For America's heirs and heiresses, only one thing would be certain: death, OR taxes.
--> For America's heirs and heiresses, only one thing would be certain: death, OR taxes.
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--> For America's heirs and heiresses, only one thing would be certain: death, OR taxes.
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* In [[ElectronicArts EA Sports']] ''FIFA 2010'', matches involving [[BritishFootyTeams Chelsea FC]] may feature small anecdotes, as told by the game's commentators about the club's history and rise to form as one of England's powerhouse clubs during lull moments in the game. One such anecdote includes Martin Tyler remarking on how Chelsea once used to be the ButtMonkey of many jokes amongst comedians, including one such joke, "Three things are certain in life: death, taxes, and Chelsea keeps building up only to disappoint."
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* In [[ElectronicArts EA Sports']] ''FIFA 2010'', matches involving [[BritishFootyTeams Chelsea FC]] may feature small anecdotes, as told by the game's commentators commentators, about the club's history and rise to form as one of England's powerhouse clubs during lull moments in the game. One such anecdote includes Martin Tyler remarking on how Chelsea once used to be the ButtMonkey of many jokes amongst comedians, including one such joke, "Three things are certain in life: death, taxes, and Chelsea keeps building up only to disappoint."
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** Earlier, in the first season:
--> '''Sucre:''' There are three things that are certain in life: death, taxes and count.
--> '''Sucre:''' There are three things that are certain in life: death, taxes and count.
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-->Quimby: Hey, I am [[ITakeOffenceToThatLastOne no longer illiterate]].
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-->Quimby: Hey, I am [[ITakeOffenceToThatLastOne [[ITakeOffenseToThatLastOne no longer illiterate]].
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[[AC: WesternAnimation]]
* In ''TheSimpsons'' episode "Sideshow Bob Roberts," [[RushLimbaugh Birch Barlow]] declares:
-->You know, there are three things we're never going to get rid of here in Springfield: one, the bats in the public library -- ''scene switch to man opening card catalog and screaming as bats fly out'' -- two, Mrs. [=McFierly's=] compost heap -- ''scene switch to huge compost pile and Mrs. [=McFierly=] rocking nearby with a shotgun, cackling'' -- and three, our six-term mayor, ''scene switch to Quimby watering a marijuana plant'' the illiterate, tax-cheating, wife-swapping, pot-smoking, spendocrat Diamond Joe Quimby.
-->Quimby: Hey, I am [[ITakeOffenceToThatLastOne no longer illiterate]].
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Two things is not three things, as the trope specifies.
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[[AC:WesternAnimation]]
* A billboard on one ''TheSimpsons'' opening shows Mr. Burns with the caption "Death and Taxes: Two Things I Avoid."
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[[AC:WesternAnimation]]
* A billboard on one ''TheSimpsons'' opening shows Mr. Burns with the caption "Death and Taxes: Two Things I Avoid."
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* Inverted: Al Franken writes in ''Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them'' about the Republican Party's attempts to abolish the Estate Tax:
--> For America's heirs and heiresses, only one thing would be certain: death, OR taxes.
--> For America's heirs and heiresses, only one thing would be certain: death, OR taxes.
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Click the edit button to start this new page.
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TheThreeCertaintiesInLife can either be a [[ComedyTropes Stock Joke]] or a [[StockPhrases Stock Phrase]] that is mostly inspired by the quote often attributed to BenjaminFranklin, "Nothing is certain but death and taxes."
Because [[RuleOfThree three is a magic number]], appending a third item after "death" and "taxes" has the immediate effect of turning one person's observation of a perceived, frequently occurring event or incident into a punchline or poignant quip which shares much in common with TheTriple.
Occasionally, someone may list three things ''without'' "death" or "taxes" being one of them. In this regard, "birth and death" is a commonly seen variant.
See Also: RuleOfThree, TheTriple, and TheLastOfTheseIsNotLikeTheOthers.
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!Examples
[[AC: {{Film}}]]
* ''CheaperByTheDozen'' has a variant. Hank notes, "All I'm saying is families are inevitable; they're like death or taxes."
* From ''MeetJoeBlack'', "...the truth is, joining John Bontecou is every bit as certain as death and taxes."
[[AC: LiveActionTV]]
* On ''[[GreysAnatomy Grey's Anatomy]]'', the title character once remarked, "In life only one thing is certain, besides death and taxes... No matter how hard we try, no matter how good our intentions, we are going to make mistakes."
* From ''PrisonBreak'':
--> '''Agent Mahone:''' Three things in life are certain... death, taxes, and the fact that a man on the run will make a mistake sometime in the first 72 hours.
* A character on the SoapOpera ''GuidingLight'' once remarked that love isn't "a sure thing," but her grandfather, on the other hand, "is right up there with death and taxes."
* There's a [[RunningGag Running Joke]] amongst fans of the EurovisionSongContest that goes, "There are only three things certain in life: Death, Taxes, and Greece and Cyprus exchanging maximum votes." However, with new
* A gag on ''KeepingUpAppearances'' once compared being invited to one of Hyacinth Buck... err... [[{{It Is Pronounced Tro-Pay}} Bouquet's]] candlelight suppers to the inevitability of death and taxes.
* A TV special based on the ''Miss Peach'' comic strip had the line, "For adults there's death and taxes, and for us kids there's school."
[[AC: NewspaperComics]]
* A ''{{Garfield}}'' strip had a variant: "Death, taxes, and teddy bears. Three things you can always count on."
* A vintage Sunday ''{{Peanuts}}'' comic strip where Lucy, holding a football, challenged Charlie Brown to name three things that are certain. Charlie Brown guessed Death and Taxes but drew a blank at the third...until Lucy pulled the football away. "It was so obvious, Charlie Brown."
[[AC: Other]]
* One proverb of anonymous origin observes, "Only three things in life are certain: birth, death, and change.”
* Another of unknown origin argues, "There are only three certainties in life; The laws of physics, [[{{ptitlee6pckmje}} the laws of Murphy]], and death."
* [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seth_Lloyd Seth Lloyd]], a professor of mechanical engineering at MIT, once remarked,
--> "Nothing in life is certain except death, taxes and the second law of thermodynamics. All three are processes in which useful or accessible forms of some quantity, such as energy or money, are transformed into useless, inaccessible forms of the same quantity. That is not to say that these three processes don't have fringe benefits: taxes pay for roads and schools; the second law of thermodynamics drives cars, computers and metabolism; and death, at the very least, opens up tenured faculty positions."
[[AC: VideoGames]]
* In [[ElectronicArts EA Sports']] ''FIFA 2010'', matches involving [[BritishFootyTeams Chelsea FC]] may feature small anecdotes, as told by the game's commentators about the club's history and rise to form as one of England's powerhouse clubs during lull moments in the game. One such anecdote includes Martin Tyler remarking on how Chelsea once used to be the ButtMonkey of many jokes amongst comedians, including one such joke, "Three things are certain in life: death, taxes, and Chelsea keeps building up only to disappoint."
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