History Main / ThePiratesWhoDontDoAnything

26th Jun '17 8:38:33 PM Wingnut
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** When was the last time we saw Lois give piano lessons?
24th Jun '17 8:29:24 AM AnotherDuck
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* Many Renaissance Festival village ensemble stock characters are like this. There's a ratcatcher who's almost never seen actually catching any rats, the highwayman who almost never robs anybody, and of course pirates and privateers who are there on shore leave and don't actually loot or plunder (though of course they may sing about such things). Darkly averted in [[http://www.theonion.com/audio/9-drawn-and-quartered-at-renaissance-fair,14068/ one Onion story,]] about people being drawn and quartered at a Renaissance Festival.
* [[Creator/LarryTheCableGuy Larry the so-called Cable Guy]].

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* Many Renaissance Festival village ensemble stock characters are like this. There's a ratcatcher who's almost never seen actually catching any rats, the highwayman who almost never robs anybody, and of course pirates and privateers who are there on shore leave and don't actually loot or plunder (though of course they may sing about such things). Darkly averted in [[http://www.theonion.com/audio/9-drawn-and-quartered-at-renaissance-fair,14068/ one Onion story,]] about people being drawn and quartered at a Renaissance Festival.
*
%%* [[Creator/LarryTheCableGuy Larry the so-called Cable Guy]].



* So-called "famous for being famous" celebrities.
* In older fiction involving air travel, airline stewardesses are often shown panicking and/or fulfilling a DamselInDistress role in a crisis (presumably because the writers had taken their "beaming glorified cocktail waitress" get-ups at face value) when flight attendants are in fact trained, clear-headed professionals who would immediately take action to maximize air passengers' safety during an emergency. Hiring pretty young ladies and having them serve coffee and flirt with businessmen was just the early airlines' way of making their presence less alarming to travelers, who might otherwise be scared off by speeches about what to do in the event of a crash.
* On several video game sites, it's often joked that so many so-called "gamers" spend more time discussing and arguing about games online than actually playing them.
* The popular stereotype of the "artist" who just sits in the coffee shop "waiting for inspiration" and complains about how hard it is to be an artist. It happens sometimes, but bonus points go for wearing turtlenecks and/or berets.
* At the time when Spain was a great empire going from the Iberic peninsula to America and the Phillipines you could be a pirate if you were French, English, or just not Spanish approved and went to one of the ports of New Spain to sell things like shirts and scissors. You didn't have to kill, rape or steal anything, just defying Spain's commercial monopoly was enough. Sure, there were the people that made their living raiding cargo from Spanish ships, but those didn't pass everyday.
* Many Wargamers fall into this. Most clubs have members who turn up, but never actually game, just sit around chatting. There are gamers who have hundreds of figures (many unpainted) and shelves of books (many unopened), who haven't touched any dice in months, but still say they are wargamers.



** The Barbary Pirates, too. They did get their start with actual piracy by raiding Christian vessels and ports, but then they realized they could make their operation much more profitable by running a protection racket, effectively becoming something akin to the mafia -- [[JustForFun/XMeetsY with seafaring vessels]]. The entire Mediterranean Sea was their stomping ground, and many countries were all too willing to pay up just to keep the pirates from giving them trouble for defaulting on their protection money, until a certain new country known as the United States decided they'd have none of it and brought in their shiny new navy.

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** * The Barbary Pirates, too.Pirates. They did get their start with actual piracy by raiding Christian vessels and ports, but then they realized they could make their operation much more profitable by running a protection racket, effectively becoming something akin to the mafia -- [[JustForFun/XMeetsY with seafaring vessels]]. The entire Mediterranean Sea was their stomping ground, and many countries were all too willing to pay up just to keep the pirates from giving them trouble for defaulting on their protection money, until a certain new country known as the United States decided they'd have none of it and brought in their shiny new navy.



* Radio presenters do this frequently, [[JustifiedTrope but this is because many of them are]] [[InsistentTerminology "swing" jocks]] (cover presenters) or have other jobs.
* Pretty much the point of a sinecure, which is basically a title and a paycheck without any real work involved. These are sometimes given out as political favors or to [[KickedUpstairs kick someone upstairs]], but can also help people do their jobs (giving someone a title so that they can sit in on meetings, for instance). It's also sometimes essentially a form of patronage for people who have been doing something on their own time that's regarded as desirable by someone with money/power, in order to enable them to keep doing it. For example, in countries that have an official Poet Laureate, the actual job duties of the post are usually pretty nebulous/minimal... it's expected they'll write poetry, but they were almost certainly going to be doing that anyway.



* In the Olympic Games, the old rules stating that competitors had to be "amateurs" led to some rather transparent ploys wherein full-time, state-sponsored athletes were listed as being students, soldiers, police officers, etc., despite them not really being engaged in those occupations. The Soviet Union's hockey team was frequently accused of this.
21st Jun '17 2:41:35 AM ImpudentInfidel
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** In the fourth season, Willow tries to join a Wiccan coven who are more interested in holding bake sales and throwing bacchanals and generally enjoying being witches than they are in doing actual magic. When Willow asks about casting spells, she's laughed at.

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** In the fourth season, Willow tries to join a Wiccan coven who are more interested in holding bake sales and throwing bacchanals and generally enjoying being witches than they are in doing actual magic. When Willow asks about casting spells, she's laughed at. This trope is her interpretation anyway; from the audience's perspective it's obvious she's wandered into a meeting of actual [[{{UsefulNotes/Wicca}} Wiccans]] instead of the fantasy witches she's used to.
21st Jun '17 2:23:45 AM ImpudentInfidel
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* The Tribulation Force in the ''Literature/LeftBehind'' series is supposed to be [[LaResistance the Resistance]] to Carpathia's [[TheEmpire One World Government]]. Their track record after seven years is precisely ''one'' assassination attempt, not counting Hattie and Chaim. Buck and Rayford's roles as {{Reverse Mole}}s in Carpathia's organization serve only [[TheWatson a narrative function as witnesses for the audience]] to the global events of the tribulation rather than any particular kind of functional espionage. Plus, Buck supposedly a great investigative reporter never does any investigating, except at the very beginning of the first book and damn all reporting.

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* The Tribulation Force in the ''Literature/LeftBehind'' series is supposed to be [[LaResistance the Resistance]] to Carpathia's [[TheEmpire One World Government]]. Their track record after seven years is precisely ''one'' assassination attempt, not counting Hattie and Chaim. Buck and Rayford's roles as {{Reverse Mole}}s in Carpathia's organization serve only [[TheWatson a narrative function as witnesses for the audience]] to the global events of the tribulation rather than any particular kind of functional espionage. Plus, Buck supposedly a great investigative reporter never does any investigating, except at the very beginning of the first book and damn all reporting. Even the one time he does investigating he takes a bribe to cover up the conspiracy he uncovered rather than reveal it (it's how he gets his insider job with Carpathia, which he also never seems to do).
20th Jun '17 5:09:25 PM Granitoons
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They don't pillage. They don't plunder. They don't invade {{Port Town}}s, kidnap beautiful maidens, battle the Royal Navy on the high seas, [[DigitalPiracyIsEvil broadcast without a license,]] [[StealthPun or swap files on the intertubes]]... [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and they've never been to Boston in the fall]]. The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, in fact, seem to mostly just drift aimlessly on the high seas, drinking rum and possibly singing sea chantys. If you ask them, they'll say that they [[RuleOfCool like the way it looks on their resume]]. Or maybe they'll just tell you, "We don't do anything."

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They don't pillage. They don't plunder. They don't invade {{Port Town}}s, kidnap beautiful maidens, battle the Royal Navy on the high seas, [[DigitalPiracyIsEvil broadcast without a license,]] [[StealthPun or swap files on the intertubes]]... [[ArsonMurderAndJaywalking and they've never been to Boston in the fall]]. The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, in fact, seem to mostly just drift aimlessly on the high seas, drinking rum and possibly singing sea chantys.shanties. If you ask them, they'll say that they [[RuleOfCool like the way it looks on their resume]]. Or maybe they'll just tell you, "We don't do anything."
11th Jun '17 9:23:42 PM WanderingBrowser
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11th Jun '17 9:19:20 PM WanderingBrowser
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* In ''Webcomic/TwoKinds'', the Magi Brothers are wolf Keidran siblings who tout a fearsome reputation as skilled, lethal assassins. When they get involved in the story, charged with assassinating protagonist Trace, they repeatedly get beaten off in battle, and then separate for different reasons. The younger brother, Natani, gets ''taken prisoner'' by Trace, ultimately comes to befriend him, and falls in love with Keith, a Basitin adventuring partner of Trace's. The older brother, Zen, on his own mission, ends up being tricked by two of the more ''incompetent'' members of the cast and subsequently captured. Heck, the official cast page actually says that the Magi Brothers' reputation mostly stems from a mixture of dumb luck and bragging, and they're actually not very good at it.
** Icing on the cake? Natani likes to boast that on their first mission, their target, a BlackMage, took one look at them and killed himself. [[spoiler:He leaves out the part that he did so by blasting them with a DangerousForbiddenTechnique, the backlash of which killed him, and that he nearly killed Natani with it. And also that, prior to getting hit by that spell, Natani was a ''girl''; he needed to get his brother's soul plastered into the cracks in his own soul to save his life, the side-effect of which left him mentally screwed up and thinking of himself as male.]]
** Actually lampshaded in [[http://twokinds.keenspot.com/comic/970/ comic #970]], where Keith teases Natani about just how bad Natani is at actually being an assassin.
10th Jun '17 12:47:20 PM jccw227
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* WesternAnimation/DonaldDuck wears ''two'' variations of a sailor outfit, but we seldom see him doing duties connected to the Navy. Even WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic lampshaded this in his ''WesternAnimation/DuckTales'' review stating that Donald's been in the Army, a Boy Scout and even a [[BreadMilkEggsSquick Nazi]] but never a sailor.

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* WesternAnimation/DonaldDuck wears ''two'' variations of a sailor outfit, but we seldom see him doing duties connected to the Navy. Even WebVideo/TheNostalgiaCritic lampshaded this in his ''WesternAnimation/DuckTales'' review stating that Donald's been in the Army, a Boy Scout and even a [[BreadMilkEggsSquick Nazi]] but never a sailor. This gets lampshaded in ''WesternAnimation/MickeyMouse2013'' revealing that Daisy bought him his sailor suit and he knows nothing about sailing ships even though Daisy seems convinced that he does for some reason.
9th Jun '17 8:49:31 PM Willbyr
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* ''VideoGame/MapleStory'' assassins seem to follow this trope. None of that 'professional murder' business in this child-friendly MMO. Even if they are supposed to be ninjas instead (orange ''Manga/{{Naruto}}'' gear ahoy), they don't fare terribly well at this either, being in no way stealth-driven and generally picked by the most look-at-me showoffish players in the game. Pirates fare no better, since any running away from these so-called ravening hordes is generally down to the reputation pirate players tend to have on MapleStory forums, rather than any notion of actual piracy.

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* ''VideoGame/MapleStory'' assassins seem to follow this trope. None of that 'professional murder' business in this child-friendly MMO. Even if they are supposed to be ninjas instead (orange ''Manga/{{Naruto}}'' gear ahoy), they don't fare terribly well at this either, being in no way stealth-driven and generally picked by the most look-at-me showoffish players in the game. Pirates fare no better, since any running away from these so-called ravening hordes is generally down to the reputation pirate players tend to have on MapleStory ''[=MapleStory=]'' forums, rather than any notion of actual piracy.
29th May '17 6:30:53 PM danlansdowne
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* When UsefulNotes/IsaacNewton was made Warden of the Royal Mint, the position was a pure example of this trope, being a sinecure given to people in the good graces of the government like Newton (to the point that his appointment letter even explicitly said the position "has not too much business to require more attendance than [Newton] can spare"). Much to the surprise of everyone, Newton turned out to be a real aversion, with the great scientist modernizing and rationalizing the operation of the Mint, while developing a network of informants to bring down a criminal mastermind forger.
* In the Olympic Games, the old rules stating that competitors had to be "amateurs" led to some rather transparent ploys wherein full-time, state-sponsored athletes were listed as being students, soldiers, police officers, etc., despite them not really being engaged in those occupations.

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* When UsefulNotes/IsaacNewton was made Warden of the Royal Mint, the position was a pure example of this trope, being a sinecure given to people in the good graces of the government like Newton (to the point that his appointment letter even explicitly said the position "has not too much business to require more attendance than [Newton] can spare"). Much to the surprise of everyone, Newton turned out to be a real aversion, with the great scientist modernizing and rationalizing the operation of the Mint, while developing a network of informants to bring down a criminal mastermind forger.
forger. (This is what he got the "Sir" for.)
* In the Olympic Games, the old rules stating that competitors had to be "amateurs" led to some rather transparent ploys wherein full-time, state-sponsored athletes were listed as being students, soldiers, police officers, etc., despite them not really being engaged in those occupations. The Soviet Union's hockey team was frequently accused of this.
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