History Main / StrangelySpecificHoroscope

* In ''Literature/GoodOmens'', the local newspaper serving Tadfield has a surprisingly specific horoscope for Libra, on the day the apocalypse begins. This is just after a discussion of 17th century Bishop Usher's great contribution to Creationism, in which he conclusively worked out from Biblical revelation that God created Earth in October 4004 B.C.E. Which makes the Earth a Libra...

-->'''Crook:''' Alright, give me one of those Horoscope scrolls! ..."Financial transaction benefits you today." Ooooh!
-->'''Clerk:''' Weirrrrrd.

* The entire point of Music/WeirdAlYankovic's "Your Horoscope For Today", in which Aquarius are told that their tongue will be frozen to the back of a speeding bus, Pisces are the true lord of the dance (no matter what those idiots at work say), and Cancer should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud because of the position of Jupiter. Among many, many more for each sign...except for Tauruses, for whom the stars predict that tomorrow they'll "wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep".

** One episode saw Homer being hired to write for Chinese fortune cookies. One of the fortunes he came up with was "Your store is being robbed, Apu."

-->''' Music/WeirdAlYankovic''', bridge from "Your Horoscope For Today"

One variation is for the horoscope to be fairly specific, but still [[ProphecyTwist open to multiple interpretations]] so that the prediction can come true in an unexpected way.

* ''Anime/TransformersRobotsInDisguise has'' Sky-Byte reading one of these in one episode, advising against everything he just did in the episode. The Transformers wiki even lampshades how scarily advanced it is.

* ''Series/FullHouse'': In "A Pinch For A Pinch", Kimmy Gibler is given the job of "Madame Kimmy" on the school newspaper and starts writing horoscopes. She gives one to Stephanie: her day will start off with good fortune, then an unpleasant surprise at school, and finally a misunderstanding will occur at home. It spooks Stephanie when the predictions start to come true. Kimmy then reveals that she's been copying the horoscopes out of an old newspaper she found at home, so she wasn't trying to scare Stephanie at all--but the events ''did'' happen, so it comes across as ContrivedCoincidence.

* The entire point of Music/WeirdAlYankovic's "Your Horoscope For Today", in which Aquarius are told that their tongue will be frozen to the back of a speeding bus, Pisces are the true lord of the dance (no matter what those idiots at work say), and Cancer should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud because of the position of Jupiter. Among many, many more for each sign.

** "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS12E1TreehouseOfHorrorXI Treehouse of Horror XI]]": Segment "G-G-Ghost D-D-Dad" involves Homer's horoscope saying that he will die that day--after Lisa notes, "That seems unusually specific for a horoscope." Marge, now worried, reads her own horoscope, which says, "Today your husband will die!" Strangely, Homer focuses on the second part of his horoscope, which says he may get a compliment from an attractive coworker--this makes him think of his friend, Lenny.

** "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS12E1TreehouseOfHorrorXI Treehouse of Horror XI]]": Segment "G-G-Ghost D-D-Dad" involves Homer's horoscope saying that he will die today. Lisa lampshades the trope by saying it's unusually specific. Worried, Marge looks at her horoscope, which says that her husband will die! Lampshaded by Lisa, who asks "It actually says 'die'? That's oddly specific for a horoscope." Oddly, Homer focuses on the second part of his horoscope which says that an attractive coworker may compliment him, and he immediately thinks of his friend Lenny.

* Creator/LumpyTouch's [[EldritchAbomination Gorefield]] [[https://youtu.be/LP9bVzNmekg horoscope series]]. The creator has commissioned 11[[note]]There are 12 signs in the Main/WesternZodiac...[[/note]] artists to design Gorefields after the Zodiac signs.

It may overlap with {{Horrorscope}}. See also SuspiciouslySpecificSermon.

* ''ComicBook/WonderWoman1942'': The "Wonder Women of History" Anne Dacier feature includes an overtly sexist opening where her father and a male friend think her horroscope must be wrong since it says she's going to become famous, wealthy and successful and shes a girl of all things.

[[quoteright:350:[[WesternAnimation/CloudyWithAChanceOfMeatballs https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/rsz_d1a063f0_f339_44a1_a122_ee00f93f399b.png]]]]

[[quoteright:350:[[WesternAnimation/CloudyWithAChanceOfMeatballs https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/6caa5a30_f42a_4142_b463_b5f22c689759.png]]]]

* Episode six of ''Podcast/WelcomeToNightVale'' features a horoscopes section where each of the zodiac signs are given increasingly odd/hilarious horoscopes. Among other things, Cecil warns Capricorns that "those were not contact lenses you put in this morning", announces that its Taurus's "annual crime day" where they're exempt from all laws, and simply curses Scorpios and their families and calls them "vile" for no understandable reason. (Steve Carlsburg, Cecil's hated brother-in-law, later turns out to be a Scorpio.)

** "[[Recap/TheSimpsonsS12E1TreehouseOfHorrorXI Treehouse of Horror XI]]": Segment "G-G-Ghost D-D-Dad" involves Homer's horoscope saying that he will die today. Lisa lampshades the trope by saying it's unusually specific. Worried, Marge looks at her horoscope, which says that her husband will die! Oddly, Homer focuses on the second part of his horoscope which says that an attractive coworker may compliment him, and he immediately thinks of his friend Lenny.

Anime/TransformersRobotsInDisguise has Sky-Byte reading one of these in one peisode, advising against everything he just did in the episode. Website/TFWiki even lampshades how scarily advanced it is.

* In ''Discworld/TheLightFantastic'', the University's astrologer reads Rincewind's horoscope in hope of tracking down his location. It rambles a bit, but warns those born under the Small Boring Group of Faint Stars not to annoy any druids ''twice'', which is very good advice for someone in Rincewind's circumstances that day.

** In a related instance, one episode saw Homer being hired to write for Chinese fortune cookies. One of the fortunes he came up with was "Your store is being robbed, Apu."