History Main / SomeonesTouchingMyButt

* In ''WesternAnimation/TheAdventuresofJimmyNeutronBoyGenius'', the group are trapped in an Egyptian tomb and the lights go out when Jimmy drops his torch.

--> '''Maria:''' I got found it!

* In ''WesternAnimation/OzzyAndDrix'' Ozzy, Drix, and Maria need to reboot a part of Hector's brain when he has a concussion. The lights go out when they're about to activate the switch.

[[folder:Films -- Animated]]

-->Courtney [reacting]: Hand, Alvin! My hand!

-->'''Del:''' Why are you holding my hand?
-->'''Neal:''' Where's your other hand?
-->'''Del:''' Between two pillows.
-->'''Neal:''' '''Those aren't pillows!'''
* [[InvertedTrope Inverted]] in a cut line in the bed scene of ''Film/BlazingSaddles''; after Lili mutters, "Oh, it's twue, it's twue!", Sheriff Bart responds, "Ma'am, you're sucking on my elbow."
** Not to mention the 'froggy' incident.

* In the comedy ''Film/{{Water 1985}}'', Creator/MichaelCaine and a female environmentalist are tied to a tree by Cuban terrorists; Caine has to inform her that it's not his ''lighter'' she's grabbed hold of to burn the ropes...

--> "Who touched my butt?... Do it again!"

-->'''Man #1''': I had an amazing dream last night, a supermodel was giving me a handjob!
-->'''Man #2''': That's odd, I had the same dream.
-->'''Man #3''' ''(in the middle)'': "Mine was lame. All I was doing was rowing a boat.

[[folder:Live Action TV]]

'''Him:''' Sorry - I was feeling for the doorknob.\\

* ''Series/{{Farscape}}''. Rygel and Chiana are locked in an airtight tube while the air is purged from the ship; naturally the lecherous Rygel uses this as a chance for some groping.
** Actually, a lot more than just groping went on, judging by the following exchange;
-->'''Chianna:''' "I don't care what you call it, STOP STICKING IT IN ME!"
-->(farting noise)
-->'''Chianna''' (her voice rising an octave): "Oh no, what's happening NOW?"
-->'''Rygel:''' "I'm sorry, I always fart helium when I, I mean, when I have an...."
-->'''Chianna:''' "You're DISGUSTING!"

-->'''Karen:''' Jack? That had ''better'' be your penis.
-->'''Grace:''' I can't do this. I sleep on my left. Turn.
-->'''Jack:''' Oh, pl--Grace!
-->'''Grace:''' Come on, come on. ''(everyone turns on their other side and says good night)''
-->'''Karen:''' Grace? That had ''better'' be your penis.
-->'''Grace:''' It's a thermos, but thank you.

-->'''Pam:''' [[OrAreYouJustHappyToSeeMe Do you have something in your pocket?]]
-->'''Michael:''' A Chunky. ''(Pam's eyes widen in horror; he shows her an actual candy bar)'' Do you want half?

-->Sam:Wait Whose butt is this?
-->Carly: Sam!
-->Sam: Sorry
* ''Series/MarriedWithChildren'': While playing Twister, Peggy is internally happy that so many people are rubbing her butt; meanwhile, Marcy is secretly unhappy that nobody is rubbing hers, even though "it's way up in the air".

-->'''First time:'''
-->'''Al''':Well, I won't keep you ferrets waiting any longer. The new owner of the Pharaoh's Eye shall be - Who turned the lights out?
-->'''Woman''': Who's touching my breasts?
-->'''Al''':Don't shoot me, I'm a shoe salesman.

-->'''Second time:'''
-->'''Woman''': Who touched my breasts?
-->'''Al''':It was me. I had to check out your story.
-->[Slap!]
* In ''Series/WouldILieToYou'' (a show which occasionally features impromptu physical comedy apropos of nothing but the RuleOfFunny), Rob Brydon winds up dancing with Christine Bleakley. After she coaches him into getting his body very tight against hers..
-->'''Rob''': [''slightly flustered''] Can I just say... that's my phone.

* ''Series/StargateSG1'': Jack and Sam are trapped on a glacier, and are forced to huddle together to keep warm.
--> '''Jack''': "It's my side-arm, I swear!"
** This is actually, it should be noted, played for pathos. Jack is in NO physical shape for the other option at this point, and Sam knows it; they believe they're doomed and Jack is weakly trying to keep things light with his trademark banter.
* A variation occurs in ''Series/TheGoldenGirls'' when an embarrassed Dorothy is recounting how she hooked up with her ex-husband in a car:
--> '''Blanche:''' Who made the first move?
--> '''Dorothy:''' I guess I did. It was dark, and Stan stopped the car... I swear to you, I thought I was setting the parking brake!

-->'''Rose''': There's an icicle on the nose of my bunny slipper *gets in bed*
-->'''Blanche''': Get your bunny nose out of my butt!

-->'''Drebin:''' All right, hands up, Luca! I got a gun in your ribs!
-->'''Mary:''' I'm not Luca, and those aren't my ribs.
* ''Series/TheNanny'' loved this one two. First, C.C. crawls into bed with who she thinks is Maxwell, but is really Niles.
--> '''Niles:''' If you're looking for the hot water bottle, that's not it.

--> '''Max:''' What are you doing?
--> '''Fran:''' I'm looking for the emergency phone!
--> '''Max:''' That's not it.
--> '''Fran:''' Well, I guess I better stop talking into it.
* A variation on ''Series/TheBigBangTheory'': Penny falls in the bathtub and dislocates her shoulder. Sheldon helps her get dressed, but with his eyes closed. At one point, after telling him to grab her arm:
--> '''Penny:''' Is that my arm?
--> '''Sheldon:''' It doesn't feel like an arm.
--> '''Penny:''' Then maybe you should let it go.
** It should be noted that Sheldon is notoriously asexual, which just adds to the humor in the situation.

-->'''Domestos:''' Here. Take this. The sacred splayd of Damocles.
-->'''Demetrius:''' And what about this?
-->'''Domestos:''' DON'T TOUCH THAT!
-->'''Demetrius:''' Why not?
-->'''Domestos:''' It's my penis!

[[folder:Webcomics]]

'''Third voice:''' ''(clearly Durkon)'' It not be me!\\
'''Fourth voice:''' ''(clearly Vaarsuvius)'' Nor is it I.\\

'''Fifth voice:''' ''(clearly Haley)'' [[CovertPervert Tee hee. Sorry, Elan.]]

* ''Webcomic/SequentialArt''[='=]s Art and Kat end up stuck or hiding in a closet twice.
--> ''"Broom handle!!"''
** But subverted a moment later:
--> Well stop rubbing your arse against me!

--> '''Kickback:''' Whose hand is that?
--> '''Thunderblast:''' Depends. Whose aft is that?
--> '''Kickback:''' Hi, Thunderblast.

[[folder:Web Original]]
* ''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner'':
** In one Halloween 'toon, "3 Times Halloween Funjob", Homestar encounters this problem when Strong Sad's seance appears to cause a blackout.
--->'''Bubs:''' Yep, I've dealt with this before. Lights: definitely out.\\
'''Homestar:''' ...And ''somebody's'' a-grabbin' a-my butt.
** Happens in the Strong Bad E-mail "senior prom", when the lights suddenly go out at the "Entrapment All Up On the Moon" Dance:
--->'''Marzipan:''' Hey, watch those hands, David Coppafeel!
--->'''Homestar:''' Yeah, David!
* ''WebVideo/ImAMarvelAndImADC'' plays this straight too in the second season, when Batman and Green Goblin have been captured by the Joker and Batman instructs Goblin to reach into his pocket...
-->'''Goblin:''' GOAAUUW! What?!\\
'''Batman:''' That's ''not'' a pocket!
* When most of the cast of ''Machinima/RedVsBlue'' have to squeeze into a tank, there are some variants of this line said. Simmon openly asks if [[CampGay Donut]] is there too.
[[/folder]]

* ''WesternAnimation/HarveyBirdmanAttorneyAtLaw'', when Phil Ken Sebben is going through his pocket looking for his keys:
-->"...flamethrower, [[TheLordOfTheRings Ring of Power]], roll of quarters...wait, that's not a..."

-->'''Peanut''': Whose hand is that? ''{{beat}}'' Oh, wait. It's mine!

'''Beast Boy (in octopus form):''' My bad. [wet suction cup sound]
* The ''Film/JamesAndTheGiantPeach'' film has this:
-->'''Earthworm''': Ow! Somebody pinched me!
-->'''Centipede''': Sorry, I thought you were the spider.
-->'''Grasshopper''': [''smack''] Ouch! What was ''that''?
-->'''Miss Spider''': Excuse, I thought you were the centipede.

* ''WesternAnimation/{{Sealab 2021}}'', when two football teams are squeezed into a small room:
-->'''Robot 8:''' Who is grabbing my ass back there?
-->'''Stormy:''' Is it me?
-->'''Robot 8:''' I don't know, do that again.
-->'''Stormy:''' What, uh, ''that''?
-->'''Robot 8:''' Yes, now keep doing it.

-->'''Lindsay''': "Something brushed up against my leg!"
-->'''Beth''': "Something brushed up against ''my'' leg!"
-->'''Harold''': "I keep brushing up against things that feel suspiciously like legs!"

-->'''Krystal:''' Who touched my ass!?...Do it again, that feels good.
* Janine in ''Series/TheRealGhostbusters'' whilst walking in a crowd trying to reach the ghostbusters:
-->(Towards a random man at her side): Hey, watch your hands, pal!

-->'''Jimmy''': Hang on. Let me grab my torch.
-->'''Cindy''': Ow! That's ''not'' your torch!
-->'''Jimmy''': Sorry.

-->Courtney [reacting]: The hands, Alvin, the hands!

[[folder:Film]]

* In ''WesternAnimation/FlushedAway'', when Roddy and Rita are chained back to back, Rita tells Roddy to get a paperclip to pick the lock out of her back pocket. Judging my her shriek immediately afterwards, it's safe to assume that he... missed.

* A StarTrekExpandedUniverse novel featured the original series bridge crew cramming into a closet. This included Uhura, who warned someone that their hands were wandering into private property.

* In the comedy ''Film/{{Water 1985}}'', MichaelCaine and a female environmentalist are tied to a tree by Cuban terrorists; Caine has to inform her that it's not his ''lighter'' she's grabbed hold of to burn the ropes...

* Actually, a lot more than just groping went on, judging by the following exchange;
Chianna: "I don't care what you call it, STOP STICKING IT IN ME!"
(farting noise)
Chianna (her voice rising an octave): "Oh no, what's happening NOW?"
Rygel: "I'm sorry, I always fart helium when I, I mean, when I have an...."
Chianna: "You're DISGUSTING!"

* ''TopTen'': Sergeant Jackie "Jack Phantom" Kowalski, believes someone is squeezed her bum, the others don't see any guilty party and write it off as stress. It turns out the chair she was sitting in was alive, likely the uncaught shape-shifting criminal "The Ghostly Goose". He looks quite happy.

* In ''Webcomic/TheOrderOfTheStick'', Vaarsuvius casts "Invisibility Sphere" to let the party sneak past a group of enemy {{Mooks}}. The sphere's radius? Three feet, nine inches. [[http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0088.html Hilarity Ensues.]]

Said item is usually either [[VisualInnuendo phallic]] or [[MarshmallowHell soft]] depending on who the people are. Can result in ThanksForTheMammary, a MegatonPunch (if person #2 is female), as well as evidence against the AccidentalPervert. NotWhatItLooksLike also commonly occurs when the lights come back on.

* In one ''WebAnimation/HomestarRunner'' Halloween 'toon, "3 Times Halloween Funjob", Homestar encounters this problem when Strong Sad's seance appears to cause a blackout.
-->'''Bubs:''' Yep, I've dealt with this before. Lights: definitely out.\\

** Also happens in the Strong Bad E-mail "senior prom", when the lights suddenly go out at the "Entrapment All Up On the Moon" Dance:

* ''ImAMarvelAndImADC'' plays this straight too in the second season, when Batman and Green Goblin have been captured by the Joker and Batman instructs Goblin to reach into his pocket...

'''Beast Boy:''' My bad. [wet suction cup sound]

* In the ''That70sShow'' episode "Red Sees Red", Kelso and Donna have to hide under a bed:

-->'''Neal:''' '''[[http://movieclips.com/qRGa-planes-trains-and-automobiles-movie-those-arent-pillows/ Those aren't pillows!]]'''!

* Used in an episode of ''JustShootMe'', when Finch spotted a pretty girl at a dinner party while standing behind Nina.

* ''TheOffice'': An unusually sweet moment when Pam hugs Michael is ruined:

* A variation occurs in ''TheGoldenGirls'' when an embarrassed Dorothy is recounting how she hooked up with her ex-husband in a car:

* ''TotalDramaAction'': The lights go out during the Train Murder Mystery episode.

* In ''FlushedAway'', when Roddy and Rita are chained back to back, Rita tells Roddy to get a paperclip to pick the lock out of her back pocket. Judging my her shriek immediately afterwards, it's safe to assume that he... missed.

* Used in the Hot Springs ending of TalesOfXillia2, when the guys are all trapped inside Teepo.

* In Lunar2EternalBlueComplete, there's a tent in one area known as the Giggle Den that's completely dark inside. One of the [=NPCs=] hidden inside will complain of someone grabbing their butt, and nearby is the giggling culprit. [[spoiler:He doesn't find it nearly so funny when he finds a bunch of pimples and wrinkles and realizes his target is his own grandfather.]]
* In FinalFantasyIX, Zidane reaches for a rung in a ladder the group is rushing up. Garnet is up ahead, and when he grasps something that isn't a rung...

* ''MurderByDeath'': The main characters are seated together around a table. Suddenly the room goes dark.

* In the movie ''WithoutAClue'', a woman in a pub accuses one the patrons of pinching her bottom while her back was turned. A drunken SherlockHolmes steps forward and after rambling through the evidence, admits that he did it, and then pinches her again.
* ''{{Casper}}'': Just after the Ghostly Trio have been sucked into a vacuum cleaner and are, [[RuleOfFunny for some reason]], temporarily stuck inside the bag...

* Subverted (naturally) by Detective Carter in ''[[Series/RushHour Rush Hour 2]]''.