History Main / SillyReasonForWar

24th Sep '16 6:54:20 PM WanderingBrowser
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* In the ''WesternAnimation/SpongebobSquarepants'' episode "The Battle of Bikini Bottom", the titular fight -- an actual historical event that ends up being reenacted as a brawl between Spongebob and Patrick -- was fought between fish over whether it was right to be clean or dirty.
6th Sep '16 2:31:56 PM margdean56
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* In the same vein, Alexander Pope's ''Literature/TheRapeOfTheLock'' dramatizes a real-life incident that happened to friends of his, wherein a young lady's fiancee stole a lock of her hair without asking permission (again, "rape" here meaning "seize forcibly", as in the case of the infamous bucket, above). The brouhaha was so ridiculous that Pope turned it into a full-scale ''epic,'' complete with miniature gods and [[MundaneMadeAwesome descriptions of coffee, card games, and petticoats that would make]] [[ManlyTears Achilles weep.]]

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* In the same vein, Alexander Pope's ''Literature/TheRapeOfTheLock'' dramatizes a real-life incident that happened to friends of his, wherein a young lady's fiancee fiancé stole a lock of her hair without asking permission (again, "rape" here meaning "seize forcibly", as in the case of the infamous bucket, above). The brouhaha was so ridiculous that Pope turned it into a full-scale ''epic,'' complete with miniature gods and [[MundaneMadeAwesome descriptions of coffee, card games, and petticoats that would make]] [[ManlyTears Achilles weep.]]



* In ''Literature/UseOfWeapons'', part of ''Literature/TheCulture'' series of sci-fi novels, one of the many, many, many military conflicts the protaganist took part in was an unending and brutal war on an ice planet. Ostensibly, the war was for control of the constantly shifting iceberg masses that made up the only land surface on the planet. But since these icebergs are inevitably destroyed/melt as they move towards the equator, no victory ever means anything for more than a few months, but the war continues on and on, as both sides had grown to hate the other too much to admit the whole thing is pointless...

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* In ''Literature/UseOfWeapons'', part of ''Literature/TheCulture'' series of sci-fi novels, one of the many, many, many military conflicts the protaganist protagonist took part in was an unending and brutal war on an ice planet. Ostensibly, the war was for control of the constantly shifting iceberg masses that made up the only land surface on the planet. But since these icebergs are inevitably destroyed/melt as they move towards the equator, no victory ever means anything for more than a few months, but the war continues on and on, as both sides had grown to hate the each other too much to admit the whole thing is pointless...



** The war that nearly takes place in the book is over a small island with no usable resources, and no potential for any use economically or industrially, that suddenly pops up in the water between Anhk-Morpork and Klatch. While neither side actually wants the island, they don't want the other side to have it either, since both sides believe it belongs to them. Humorously, [[spoiler:the war is ultimately prevented when [[MagnificentBastard Vetinari]], after visiting the island, surrenders it to Klatch because he had determined that the island will inevitably sink again, making it even more worthless than it already is.]] This is a reference to an actual island between Sicily and Malta, called Ferdinandea by Italy, Julia Island by France, and Graham Island by the British. In mid-1831, the volcanic island emerged after an eruption, sparking a brief diplomatic row by the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies, France, Britain, and Spain over who would claim the new island, [[spoiler: until the "island," actually made of weak [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tephra tephra]], washed away over the course of the next six months]]. The Italians (or to be specific, the Sicilians) recently renewed their claims in 2000 by inviting the heir to the defunct Bourbon throne out for a ceremony to plant both a flag and a plaque on the summit, [[spoiler: by sending a diving team down]].

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** The war that nearly takes place in the book is over a small island with no usable resources, and no potential for any use economically or industrially, that suddenly pops up in the water between Anhk-Morpork Ankh-Morpork and Klatch. While neither side actually wants the island, they don't want the other side to have it either, since both sides believe it belongs to them. Humorously, [[spoiler:the war is ultimately prevented when [[MagnificentBastard Vetinari]], after visiting the island, surrenders it to Klatch because he had determined that the island will inevitably sink again, making it even more worthless than it already is.]] This is a reference to an actual island between Sicily and Malta, called Ferdinandea by Italy, Julia Island by France, and Graham Island by the British. In mid-1831, the volcanic island emerged after an eruption, sparking a brief diplomatic row by the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies, France, Britain, and Spain over who would claim the new island, [[spoiler: until the "island," actually made of weak [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tephra tephra]], washed away over the course of the next six months]]. The Italians (or to be specific, the Sicilians) recently renewed their claims in 2000 by inviting the heir to the defunct Bourbon throne out for a ceremony to plant both a flag and a plaque on the summit, [[spoiler: by sending a diving team down]].



* In ''Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy1'', higher-dimensional beings like playing Brockian Ultra-Cricket, a game so complicated that a complete compilation of its rules became a ''black hole''. The more popular it gets, the less it is being played because almost all the teams (and substantial parts of the population) are now in a state of permanent warfare with each other over the interpretation of these rules. This is, however, all for the best, because in the long run a good solid war is less psychologically damaging than a protracted game of Brockian Ultra-Cricket.

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* In ''Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy1'', ''Literature/TheHitchhikersGuideToTheGalaxy'', higher-dimensional beings like playing Brockian Ultra-Cricket, a game so complicated that a complete compilation of its rules became a ''black hole''. The more popular it gets, the less it is being played because almost all the teams (and substantial parts of the population) are now in a state of permanent warfare with each other over the interpretation of these rules. This is, however, all for the best, because in the long run a good solid war is less psychologically damaging than a protracted game of Brockian Ultra-Cricket.



* [[UsefulNotes/DichterAndDenker German philosopher Oswald Spengler]] pointed out in his non-fiction book ''Literature/TheDeclineOfTheWest'' that many wars in RealLife were started like this - more than one, apparently, because some courtier wanted to break up the developing relationship between some general and his wife.

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* [[UsefulNotes/DichterAndDenker German philosopher Oswald Spengler]] pointed out in his non-fiction book ''Literature/TheDeclineOfTheWest'' that many wars in RealLife were started like this - -- more than one, apparently, because some courtier wanted to break up the developing relationship between some general and his wife.



* Similarly, the Arends in the ''Literature/{{Belgariad}}'' also tended to fight constantly for foolish reasons. Their civil war over which Duke would become King was fairly significant, but the fact that the fighting continued for an additional five hundred years after the issue was finally resolved due to a legal technicality qualifies. (The Asturians refused to swear fealty to the crown because they had already sworn fealty to their Duchess. The fact that the Duchess of Asturia and the Queen of Arendia were the ''same person'' was irrelevant. Once this is discovered, the Duchess arranges for her subjects to be released from their vows so that they might swear fealty to her in her persona of Queen - as well as to her husband, but only in his persona as King of Arendia, ''not'' in his persona as the Asturian's cultural archenemy, the Duke of Mimbre.)

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* Similarly, the Arends in the ''Literature/{{Belgariad}}'' also tended to fight constantly for foolish reasons. Their civil war over which Duke would become King was fairly significant, but the fact that the fighting continued for an additional five hundred years after the issue was finally resolved resolved, due to a legal technicality technicality, qualifies. (The Asturians refused to swear fealty to the crown because they had already sworn fealty to their Duchess. The fact that the Duchess of Asturia and the Queen of Arendia were the ''same person'' was irrelevant. Once this is discovered, the Duchess arranges for her subjects to be released from their vows so that they might swear fealty to her in her persona of Queen - -- as well as to her husband, but only in his persona as King of Arendia, ''not'' in his persona as the Asturian's Asturians' cultural archenemy, the Duke of Mimbre.)



* In ''The Chromium Fence'' by Philip K. Dick, a meek man is unsure of which side to take in a social conflict that seemed to be leading his future-society towards a full-blown civil war. The issue at stake? Mandatory shaving and hygiene laws (up to and including minor surgery to reduce body odor and sweating for egregious offenders). As violence begins to erupt on the streets and even in his own home (between his hygienic son and his politically active, hairy, sweaty, and stinky brother-in-law), the main character refuses to take a side and can't understand why either side is taking the issue so seriously. He confesses to his less-than-helpful robotic psychologist that he feels like the OnlySaneMan, but worries that feeling is a sign that ''he'' is the one who is really insane for not caring about it.

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* In ''The Chromium Fence'' by Philip K. Dick, a meek man is unsure of which side to take in a social conflict that seemed seems to be leading his future-society towards a full-blown civil war. The issue at stake? Mandatory shaving and hygiene laws (up to and including minor surgery to reduce body odor and sweating for egregious offenders). As violence begins to erupt on the streets and even in his own home (between his hygienic son and his politically active, hairy, sweaty, and stinky brother-in-law), the main character refuses to take a side and can't understand why either side is taking the issue so seriously. He confesses to his less-than-helpful robotic psychologist that he feels like the OnlySaneMan, but worries that feeling is a sign that ''he'' is the one who is really insane for not caring about it.



* Averted in ''[[Literature/TalesOfDunkAndEgg The Sworn Sword]]''. Ser Duncan tries to convince Lady Rohanne not to invade his lord's land over a 'pissing contest' about who can dam the river. Lady Rohanne points out that these contests are how nobles judge each others' strength, and worse will happen if she doesn't put up a strong front.

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* Averted in ''[[Literature/TalesOfDunkAndEgg The Sworn Sword]]''. Ser Duncan tries to convince Lady Rohanne not to invade his lord's land over a 'pissing contest' about who can dam the river. Lady Rohanne points out that these contests are how nobles judge each others' other's strength, and worse will happen if she doesn't put up a strong front.



* In Norman Juster's ''Literature/ThePhantomTollbooth'', the two major powers in the Kingdom of Wisdom, Dictionopolis the City of Words (ruled by King Azaz the Unabridged) and Digitopolis the City of Numbers (ruled by the Mathemagician), were at odds over whether words or numbers were the most important aspect of wisdom. When the princesses Rhyme and Reason advised that both words and numbers were equally important, the kings ordered them banished, a move which turned out to be the last time they ever agreed on anything. Milo manages to LogicBomb Azaz and the Mathemagician into agreeing to lifting their banishment and in the end the two appear to have restored peace, although there is still some bickering.

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* In Norman Norton Juster's ''Literature/ThePhantomTollbooth'', the two major powers in the Kingdom of Wisdom, Dictionopolis the City of Words (ruled by King Azaz the Unabridged) and Digitopolis the City of Numbers (ruled by the Mathemagician), were at odds over whether words or numbers were the most important aspect of wisdom. When the princesses Rhyme and Reason advised that both words and numbers were equally important, the kings ordered them banished, a move which turned out to be the last time they ever agreed on anything. Milo manages to LogicBomb Azaz and the Mathemagician into agreeing to lifting their banishment and in the end the two appear to have restored peace, although there is still some bickering.
6th Sep '16 8:39:01 AM TheCheshireCat
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* Although it has not escalated to military conflict, Egypt and Sudan have a long-standing border dispute over an area called Bir Tawil - specifically, they each allege that the OTHER party owns it. The reason for the dispute is that each nation claims a different historical border to be the correct boundary between their nations (each of them favouring a border that includes a much more valuable piece of land within their nation), and both of their preferred borders exclude Bir Tawil from their nation. Thus, even if the other side doesn't want it, one side can't simply claim that territory as their own since it would be implicitly giving up the territory they actually want.
3rd Sep '16 8:29:10 PM Kirayoshi
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* In Norman Juster's ''Literature/ThePhantomTollbooth'', the two major powers in the Kingdom of Wisdom, Dictionopolis the City of Words (ruled by King Azaz the Unabridged) and Digitopolis the City of Numbers (ruled by the Mathemagician), were at odds over whether words or numbers were the most important aspect of wisdom. When the princesses Rhyme and Reason advised that both words and numbers were equally important, the kings ordered them banished, a move which turned out to be the last time they ever agreed on anything. Milo manages to LogicBomb Azaz and the Mathemagician into agreeing to lifting their banishment and in the end the two appear to have restored peace, although there is still some bickering.

to:

* In Norman Juster's ''Literature/ThePhantomTollbooth'', the two major powers in the Kingdom of Wisdom, Dictionopolis the City of Words (ruled by King Azaz the Unabridged) and Digitopolis the City of Numbers (ruled by the Mathemagician), were at odds over whether words or numbers were the most important aspect of wisdom. When the princesses Rhyme and Reason advised that both words and numbers were equally important, the kings ordered them banished, a move which turned out to be the last time they ever agreed on anything. anything. Milo manages to LogicBomb Azaz and the Mathemagician into agreeing to lifting their banishment and in the end the two appear to have restored peace, although there is still some bickering.
3rd Sep '16 8:29:02 PM Kirayoshi
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* In Norman Juster's ''Literature/ThePhantomTolbooth'', the two major powers in the Kingdom of Wisdom, Dictionopolis the City of Words (ruled by King Azaz the Unabridged) and Digitopolis the City of Numbers (ruled by the Mathemagician), were at odds over whether words or numbers were the most important aspect of wisdom. When the princesses Rhyme and Reason advised that both words and numbers were equally important, the kings ordered them banished, a move which turned out to be the last time they ever agreed on anything. Milo manages to LogicBomb Azaz and the Mathemagician into agreeing to lifting their banishment and in the end the two appear to have restored peace, although there is still some bickering.

to:

* In Norman Juster's ''Literature/ThePhantomTolbooth'', ''Literature/ThePhantomTollbooth'', the two major powers in the Kingdom of Wisdom, Dictionopolis the City of Words (ruled by King Azaz the Unabridged) and Digitopolis the City of Numbers (ruled by the Mathemagician), were at odds over whether words or numbers were the most important aspect of wisdom. wisdom. When the princesses Rhyme and Reason advised that both words and numbers were equally important, the kings ordered them banished, a move which turned out to be the last time they ever agreed on anything. anything. Milo manages to LogicBomb Azaz and the Mathemagician into agreeing to lifting their banishment and in the end the two appear to have restored peace, although there is still some bickering.
3rd Sep '16 8:28:29 PM Kirayoshi
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* In Norman Juster's ''Literature/ThePhantomToolbooth'', the two major powers in the Kingdom of Wisdom, Dictionopolis the City of Words (ruled by King Azaz the Unabridged) and Digitopolis the City of Numbers (ruled by the Mathemagician), were at odds over whether words or numbers were the most important aspect of wisdom. When the princesses Rhyme and Reason advised that both words and numbers were equally important, the kings ordered them banished, a move which turned out to be the last time they ever agreed on anything. Milo manages to LogicBomb Azaz and the Mathemagician into agreeing to lifting their banishment and in the end the two appear to have restored peace, although there is still some bickering.

to:

* In Norman Juster's ''Literature/ThePhantomToolbooth'', ''Literature/ThePhantomTolbooth'', the two major powers in the Kingdom of Wisdom, Dictionopolis the City of Words (ruled by King Azaz the Unabridged) and Digitopolis the City of Numbers (ruled by the Mathemagician), were at odds over whether words or numbers were the most important aspect of wisdom. wisdom. When the princesses Rhyme and Reason advised that both words and numbers were equally important, the kings ordered them banished, a move which turned out to be the last time they ever agreed on anything. anything. Milo manages to LogicBomb Azaz and the Mathemagician into agreeing to lifting their banishment and in the end the two appear to have restored peace, although there is still some bickering.
3rd Sep '16 8:14:11 PM Kirayoshi
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* In Norman Juster's ''Literature/ThePhantomToolbooth'', the two major powers in the Kingdom of Wisdom, Dictionopolis the City of Words (ruled by King Azaz the Unabridged) and Digitopolis the City of Numbers (ruled by the Mathemagician), were at odds over whether words or numbers were the most important aspect of wisdom. When the princesses Rhyme and Reason advised that both words and numbers were equally important, the kings ordered them banished, a move which turned out to be the last time they ever agreed on anything. Milo manages to LogicBomb Azaz and the Mathemagician into agreeing to lifting their banishment and in the end the two appear to have restored peace, although there is still some bickering.
24th Aug '16 4:12:14 PM Bissek
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* Similarly, the Arends in the ''Literature/{{Belgariad}}'' also tended to fight constantly for foolish reasons. Their civil war over which Duke would become King was fairly significant, but the fact that the fighting continued for an additional five hundred years after the issue was finally resolved due to a legal technicality qualifies. (The Asturians refused to swear fealty to the crown because they had already sworn fealty to their Duchess. The fact that the Duchess of Asturia and the Queen of Arendia were the ''same person'' was irrelevant. Once this is discovered, the Duchess arranges for her subjects to be released from their vows so that they might swear fealty to her in her persona of Queen - as well as to her husband, but only in his persona as King of Arendia, ''not'' in his persona as the Asturian's cultural archenemy, the Duke of Mimbre.

to:

* Similarly, the Arends in the ''Literature/{{Belgariad}}'' also tended to fight constantly for foolish reasons. Their civil war over which Duke would become King was fairly significant, but the fact that the fighting continued for an additional five hundred years after the issue was finally resolved due to a legal technicality qualifies. (The Asturians refused to swear fealty to the crown because they had already sworn fealty to their Duchess. The fact that the Duchess of Asturia and the Queen of Arendia were the ''same person'' was irrelevant. Once this is discovered, the Duchess arranges for her subjects to be released from their vows so that they might swear fealty to her in her persona of Queen - as well as to her husband, but only in his persona as King of Arendia, ''not'' in his persona as the Asturian's cultural archenemy, the Duke of Mimbre.)
24th Aug '16 4:11:21 PM Bissek
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* Similarly, the Arends in the ''Literature/{{Belgariad}}'' also tended to fight constantly for foolish reasons. Their civil war over which Duke would become King was fairly significant, but the fact that the fighting continued for an additional five hundred years after the issue was finally resolved due to a legal technicality qualifies. (The Asturians refused to swear fealty to the crown because they had already sworn fealty to their Duchess. The fact that the Duchess of Asturia and the Queen of Arendia were the ''same person'' was irrelevant.)

to:

* Similarly, the Arends in the ''Literature/{{Belgariad}}'' also tended to fight constantly for foolish reasons. Their civil war over which Duke would become King was fairly significant, but the fact that the fighting continued for an additional five hundred years after the issue was finally resolved due to a legal technicality qualifies. (The Asturians refused to swear fealty to the crown because they had already sworn fealty to their Duchess. The fact that the Duchess of Asturia and the Queen of Arendia were the ''same person'' was irrelevant.) Once this is discovered, the Duchess arranges for her subjects to be released from their vows so that they might swear fealty to her in her persona of Queen - as well as to her husband, but only in his persona as King of Arendia, ''not'' in his persona as the Asturian's cultural archenemy, the Duke of Mimbre.
21st Aug '16 5:39:30 AM ImpudentInfidel
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*** In one of the ''Literature/GotrekAndFelix'' books the pair are temporarily allied with a Tomb Prince in service to Alkhared's dynasty, and it turns out he and Gotrek had previously fought on opposite sides of one of these battles. When Felix asks why they don't just take the coin off the hammer and each take the part they actually care about, both act as if he's a complete idiot.

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*** In one of the ''Literature/GotrekAndFelix'' books the pair are temporarily allied with a Tomb Prince in service to Alkhared's dynasty, and it turns out he and Gotrek had previously fought on opposite sides of one of these battles. When Felix asks why they don't just take the coin off the hammer and each take the part they actually care about, both act as if he's a complete idiot. In the end of the story they duel for the hammer, mostly just for the fun of it.
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