History Main / ScaryImpracticalArmor

[[quoteright:320:[[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/scary_impractical_armor.jpg]]]]
[-[[caption-width-right:320:Not even the [[TheChosenOne Avatar]] can stand up to it...or ''in'' it.]]-]

* In the ''VideoGame/DarkSouls'' games many armor sets fall into this. In ''VideoGame/DarkSoulsI'' [[DualBoss Ornstein and Smough]] each have [[https://i.imgur.com/PnbiD8I.png their own variation]]. Ornstein wears a golden lion-themed dragoon where the eye opening is between the lion's mouth. Smough wears armor that makes him look morbidly obese and has the eye holes on the neck.

* In the book of Samuel in ''Literature/TheBible'', it is mentioned how scary and imposing Goliath was in his huge bronze armor. The "impractical" is coming from the fact that it didn't protect him from a pebble to the head. Also there's King Saul's own armor which he offered to lend the young shepherd boy David for his impending [[DavidVsGoliath battle with Goliath]]. which he turned down - though probably more because he was just a young guy and Saul a full-grown adult male than because the armor as such was a problem in the first place.

* In one story arc of ''WesternAnimation/DarkwingDuck'', Gosalyn is transported into a future where Darkwing becomes unquestioned dictator of the world. In order to make her his ultimate successor, he gives her gifts, including a very imposing scary suit of battle armor. The only drawback to it is that she isn't able to move. But she sure looks impressive.

* ''ComicBook/XMen'' villain Stryfe wore a suit of armor that looked like it was made out of blades, giving many readers the impression that he'd decapitate himself if he ever shrugged his shoulders. Partially justified in that Stryfe is a world-class telepath and telekinetic (which is saying something in the Marvel world). His armor is ''meant'' to be scary and impractical, because not only does he not need to move to attack his enemies, he doesn't actually need the armor, since wrapping his own telekinesis around his body is more effective. And he is aware of both facts.

** Every knight in has ScaryImpracticalArmor, verging on CostumePorn in most cases (though calling them impractical is perhaps unfair, since we only see them demonstrate ArmorIsUseless against [[{{BFS}} the Dragonslayer]]).

* ''Literature/Dark Lord:The Rise of Darth Vader'' initially depicts Vader's iconic suit as this. It leaves him in constant irritation, he can only walk at slow pace due to his awkwardly contructed prosthetics, he can never sleep because of his own iconic breathing, and he's constantly remind of his limitations compared to his old capabilities. Vader even suspects that Palpatine deliberately used outdated tech in his armor and made it nightmarishly uncomfortable as a punishment for his failure on Mustafar. However by the end of the novel he's full adjusted to it and becomes as dangerous as ever.

Compare TwentyFourHourArmor, BlingOfWar, ImpracticallyFancyOutfit, ImpossiblyCoolWeapon, BreastPlate, StylishProtectionGear, BattleBallgown.

* In the book of Samuel in ''Literature/TheBible'', it is mentioned how scary and imposing Goliath was in his huge bronze armor. The "impractical" is coming from the fact that it didn't protect him from a pebble to the head. Also there's King Saul's own armor which he offered to lend the young shepherd boy David for his impending [[DavidVsGoliath battle with Goliath]]. which he turned down - though probably more because he was just a joung guy and Saul a full-grown adult male than because the armor as such was a problem in the first place.

** The [[SpaceElf Dark Eldar]] warriors have armor suits that are covered in blades and attach by hooking into their skin. Subverted, since the hooks are meant to produce a little bit of pain which enhances the senses. And [[CombatSadomasochist given their proclivities]], armou that can cut whilst in use is approved of. Parodied in a ''Webcomic/TurnSignalsOnALandRaider'' strip [[http://tsoalr.com/?p=111 here]].

** Most of the high level armors count. They tend to have pauldrons that raise higher then the PC's head (sometimes by almost a whole foot) and make the PC wearing it look twice wider then he is. And as the character moves in various ways, the shoulders often clip through the body in ways that should result in impromptu decapitation or brain surgery. An JustForFun/{{egregious}} example is the night elf female, who due to an unfortunate combat stance when wielding two handed axes, swords, or maces will spend most of the fight with their shoulder spikes embedded in their face.

** The armor that [[spoiler:Phoenix King Ozai]] wears in the finale looks very heavy and unwieldly. This is likely why his first move in his battle with Aang is to [[TheCoatsAreOff take it all off]].

* Samurai during Japan's feudal era had always cared about looking scary as well as protecting themselves, but beginning in the Momoyama period (ca. 1573-1615) the decoration of armor became increasingly elaborate and bizarre. One example is a gusoku type armor simulating the human body with bear fur hair covering the kabuto (helmet) and a Dō (cruirass) with flesh-colored plates embossed with a chest, ribs, shoulder blades, and backbone. Exotic helmets called kawari-kabuto incorporating extravagant papier mache or wooden crests (maedate)and side-crests resembling horns (wakidate) became the height of fashion. In the swordfighting ward migi-no-jódan, the sword is held above the head slightly slanted in order to avoid the helmet decorations. During the Edo period (ca. 1615-1868) when major wars were a thing of the past, kawari kabuto were made in a variety of fabulous shapes from fashion and nature including seashells, animals, mountains, and formal hats.

-->'''[[spoiler:Discorded Harry]]:''' Everyone knows that once you turn evil, you have to get new clothes. It's in the rules.

* In the book of 1 Samuel in ''Literature/TheBible'', this was apparently the effect when King Saul offered to lend the young shepherd boy David his own armor for his impending battle with the [[DavidVsGoliath giant Goliath]]. David had to turn it down because he couldn't even walk in it.

* The [[BigBad First and Forsaken Lion]], one of the Deathlords in ''TabletopGame/{{Exalted}}'', has gigantic soulsteel armor covered in spikes and skulls and anything else intimidating and impractical. It's not like he has much choice to change it out for something more efficient, though, as his [[BiggerBad Neverborn master]] basically welded him into it after he [[YouHaveFailedMe screwed up his initial plan]] for world domination.

[[folder:Religion]]

* In one story arc of ''WesternAnimation/DarkwingDuck'', Gosalyn is transported into a future where Darkwing becomes unquestioned dictator of the world. In order to make her his ultimate successor, he gives her gifts, including a very imposing scary suit of battle armour. The only drawback to it is that she isn't able to move. But she sure looks impressive.

* Most ceremonial armor tends to be scary and impractical unless the users have a culture of austerity. This is because the armor is more intended to impress the commissioner and display the skill of the craftsman than to protect the wearer. [[http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pickelhaube Pickelhauben]] are a highly visible example from WWI and earlier; they definitely ''did'' make an impression, but on entirely the wrong people: enemy snipers found them exceptionally easy to spot and [[BoomHeadshot shoot]].

** While some of its armor is merely ornate looking, ''VideoGame/DragonQuest'' does have the Sword Edge Armor. While it has good defense and an effect that let's it damage an enemy that attacks its wearer, artwork for it in its debut game gives it so many sharp, pointy bits, one can only imagine how the heroes can walk around in it without jabbing themselves.

[[quoteright:320:[[WesternAnimation/AvatarTheLastAirbender http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/avatar_super_scary_armor.jpg]]]]

* In the ''VideoGame/DarkSouls'' games many armor sets fall into this. In ''VideoGame/DarkSoulsI'' [[DualBoss Ornstein and Smough]] each have [[http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/darksouls/images/2/2d/Dragon_Slayer_Ornstein_and_Executioner_Smough.jpg their own variation]]. Ornstein wears a golden lion-themed dragoon where the eye opening is between the lion's mouth. Smough wears armor that makes him look morbidly obese and has the eye holes on the neck.

** Most of the high level armors count. They tend to have pauldrons that raise higher then the PC's head (sometimes by almost a whole foot) and make the PC wearing it look twice wider then he is. And as the character moves in various ways, the shoulders often clip through the body in ways that should result in impromptu decapitation or brain surgery. An {{egregious}} example is the night elf female, who due to an unfortunate combat stance when wielding two handed axes, swords, or maces will spend most of the fight with their shoulder spikes embedded in their face.

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** ''[[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIIIMorrowind Morrowind]]'' plays with it. Mostly only the native styles (Glass, Bonemold, Dreugh, Indoril) play it straight, as each possess [[SpikesOfVillainy spikes]] and [[ShouldersOfDoom oversized shoulders]]. Trollbone armor also counts, while it is Nordic style – essentially, it’s just a pile of troll bones sewed to cloth underarmor and a troll skull atop. Local Chitin and Netch leather armor, on the other hand, may look somewhat menacing, but fairly practical, given the materials they made and that they are suited to harsh island environment. Western (i. e. Imperial) armors looks very much like real life plate armor examples; same to local Ebony armor. Even Daedric armor, while featuring extremely [[RageHelm scary facemasks]], don’t have common “impractical” features like subsequent games in the series would exaggerate.
** Daedric Armor from the later games - notably ''[[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIVOblivion Oblivion]]'' and ''[[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim Skyrim]]''. It's the strongest armor in the game as well as the heaviest, and gives you a +10 bonus to Intimidation-rolls if you wear a full set - because, well, you look TERRIFYING, all covered with spikes and glowing red bits and chitinous demonic armor forged from demon-hearts and ebony. What isn't addressed in gameplay-terms is that all those glowing red bits should utterly ruin your Stealth-abilities (though the armor's weight will give you a penalty there all by itself), and the spikes should leave you with more holes than a sieve every time you do an UnnecessaryCombatRoll. I mean, just [[http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/Daedric_Armor_%28Skyrim%29 LOOK at this thing]]...
** Arguably, Falmer Armor as well. It can be more of less effective, depending on whether it's normal, Hardened or Heavy (the best, but also, well, the heaviest), but it always looks monstrous, and is covered in SpikesOfVillainy. In this case, however, it's a JustifiedTrope - the Falmer makes that armor from the only material they have access to, the Chitin of the [[BigCreepyCrawlies Chaurus]], which happens to be quite spiky. And the helmet makes you look like a monster because it's the ''hollowed-out head of a huge bug''.

* [[StatisticallySpeaking Given the interrogation bonus they give, and their non existent armor rating]], Death Squad uniforms from LiberalCrimeSquad are this, but since it's an ASCII game, it's hard to tell otherwise.

* War from ''{{Darksiders}}'' has armor so ridiculously elaborate, it takes Yahtzee the ''entire second page'' of his [[http://www.escapistmagazine.com/articles/view/columns/extra-punctuation/7071-Extra-Punctuation-Darksiders.2 Extra Punctuation]] article to describe in detail.

** Fittingly, supplementary material has revealed that the two aforementioned armors were made by the same person. It's also very much implied that Al's armor is a novelty item meant to be used as an ornamen, and the same is probably true of Barry's armor.

** Daedric Armor from the later games - notably ''[[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsIVOblivion Oblivion]]'' and ''[[VideoGame/TheElderScrollsVSkyrim Skyrim]]''. It's the strongest armor in the game as well as the heaviest, and gives you a +10 bonus to Intimidation-rolls if you wear a full set - because, well, you look TERRIFYING, all covered with spikes and glowing red bits and chitinous demonic armor forged from demon-hearts and ebony. What isn't addressed in gameplay-terms is that all those glowing red bits should utterly ruin your Stealth-abilities (though the armor's weight will give you a penalty there all by itself), and the spikes should leave you with more holes than a sieve every time you do an UnnecessaryCombatRoll. I mean, just [[http://elderscrolls.wikia.com/wiki/Daedric_Armor_%28Skyrim%29 LOOK at this thing]]... Funnily enough, wearing full Daedric armor looks demonic enough that the Vigilants of Stendarr will attack on sight, thinking you ARE a Daedra.

** Raider and Super Mutant armors fit this trope to a T. They are made mostly from stuff like old tires, leather and the occasional scrap metal; as such, they provide very little protection but significant intimidation factor. ''The Pitt'' DLC adds the [[http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110709193503/fallout/images/a/a4/Fo3TP_Tribal_T45D_Power_Armor.png Tribal Power Armor]] which is both scary AND practical. The ''Broken Steel'' DLC's Hellfire Armor ups the ante one degree more as it's both scary, practical AND cool.

* In the book of 1 Samuel in ''Literature/TheBible'', this was apparently the effect when King Saul offered to lend the young shepherd boy David his own armor for his impending battle with the [[DavidAndGoliath giant Goliath]]. David had to turn it down because he couldn't even walk in it.