History Main / SafeSaneAndConsensual

12th Mar '16 8:43:19 PM FuzzyBoots
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* Discussed in the bondage club in ''Film/Bound2015'', specifically to point out that Ryan doesn't follow the rules and is instead a cruel abuser who uses BDSM as an excuse.
20th Feb '16 3:49:44 PM Eievie
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* In more hardcore Dominance and Submission, the kink can be about very deep submission and the giving up of nearly all freedom, the submissive wishing to please their Dominant to levels that risk personal harm. In complete contrast, the submission can even be about a fight for control - where the Dominant takes control of the submissive and the submissive only allows that control after a struggle or the Dominant needing to earn it in some way (e.g. the Dominant needs to force complete restriction on the submissive before they will submit to their will, or there might even be a real physical struggle where the sub will only submit if overcome). In this instance the Dominant and the Submissive consent to the scenario, but the fight for control has an element of risk, sometimes even foregoing safe words (which is generally a really stupid idea unless you have absolute trust in your partner that they won't push you past your hard-line boundaries, or you have a Dungeon Master standing by to intervene if things go too far).
* In hardcore Sadomasochism - Sadism and Masochism - the situation becomes even more involved, where the submissive as the masochist has boundaries that they can't go past - things they like, things they hate, things they tolerate and things they can't stand - and the Dominant as the sadist can choose to ride those boundaries for punishment and pleasure, sometimes inflicting very high levels of pain or discomfort as severe as the sub can tolerate it (and the idea of "toleration" for pain and discomfort can be pushed to the absolute scary limit, and the greater the trust and understanding between Dominant and Submissive the more the boundaries for consent, risk, control, submission and sadomasochism can be pushed (on both sides)).

to:

* In more hardcore Dominance and Submission, the kink can be about very deep submission and the giving up of nearly all freedom, the submissive wishing to please their Dominant to levels that risk personal harm. In complete contrast, the submission can even be about a fight for control - -- where the Dominant takes control of the submissive and the submissive only allows that control after a struggle or the Dominant needing to earn it in some way (e.g. the Dominant needs to force complete restriction on the submissive before they will submit to their will, or there might even be a real physical struggle where the sub will only submit if overcome). In this instance the Dominant and the Submissive consent to the scenario, but the fight for control has an element of risk, sometimes even foregoing safe words (which is generally a really stupid idea unless you have absolute trust in your partner that they won't push you past your hard-line boundaries, or you have a Dungeon Master standing by to intervene if things go too far).
* In hardcore Sadomasochism - -- Sadism and Masochism - -- the situation becomes even more involved, where the submissive as the masochist has boundaries that they can't go past - -- things they like, things they hate, things they tolerate and things they can't stand - -- and the Dominant as the sadist can choose to ride those boundaries for punishment and pleasure, sometimes inflicting very high levels of pain or discomfort as severe as the sub can tolerate it (and the idea of "toleration" for pain and discomfort can be pushed to the absolute scary limit, and the greater the trust and understanding between Dominant and Submissive the more the boundaries for consent, risk, control, submission and sadomasochism can be pushed (on both sides)).



One notable subversion of this trope is pretending that abuse or exploitation is [=BDSM=] (and thus implied to be SSC). One notable aversion/way of darkly playing it for laughs is to highlight the need for Safe and Sane by sarcastically pretending that consent is all that's needed - [[QuestionableConsent and use an example where someone naively or stupidly agrees to something that they obviously can't handle]].

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One notable subversion of this trope is pretending that abuse or exploitation is [=BDSM=] (and thus implied to be SSC). One notable aversion/way of darkly playing it for laughs is to highlight the need for Safe and Sane by sarcastically pretending that consent is all that's needed - -- [[QuestionableConsent and use an example where someone naively or stupidly agrees to something that they obviously can't handle]].



* In ''Slave Jade'', the female lead is a sexually submissive woman who starts dating a "dominant" psycho who kidnaps her and executes a miserable attempt at inducing StockholmSyndrome. Before they actually met, he seemed to have a very good understanding of consent and safety - what she didn't know is that the bulk of his mails to her were reasonable ideas that he never thought in his own head, but merely copy/pasted from various sites. [[spoiler:In the end, she shoots him and escapes. He survives the bullet and ends up in jail for all he did to her, while her shooting him is ruled as self-defence. In the epilogue she decides to find a new man to dominate her - a man who isn't psycho, but really understand SSC.]]

to:

* In ''Slave Jade'', the female lead is a sexually submissive woman who starts dating a "dominant" psycho who kidnaps her and executes a miserable attempt at inducing StockholmSyndrome. Before they actually met, he seemed to have a very good understanding of consent and safety - -- what she didn't know is that the bulk of his mails to her were reasonable ideas that he never thought in his own head, but merely copy/pasted from various sites. [[spoiler:In the end, she shoots him and escapes. He survives the bullet and ends up in jail for all he did to her, while her shooting him is ruled as self-defence. In the epilogue she decides to find a new man to dominate her - -- a man who isn't psycho, but really understand SSC.]]



* A core philosophy in ''Theatre/{{Hair}}'' - see page quote

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* A core philosophy in ''Theatre/{{Hair}}'' - -- see page quote
8th Feb '16 2:16:45 AM KingClark
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* The Time Warp from ''Film/TheRockyHorrorPictureShow'' is implied to be this for most, genuinely weird, Transylvanians. Contrast this with Frank-N-Furter's [[{{CorruptTheCutie}} "Experiments" with easily manipulated humans]]

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* The Time Warp from ''Film/TheRockyHorrorPictureShow'' is implied to be this for most, genuinely weird, Transylvanians. Contrast this with Frank-N-Furter's [[{{CorruptTheCutie}} "Experiments" with easily manipulated humans]]humans]].
31st Jul '15 1:10:59 AM MachRider1985
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[[folder:FanWorks]]

* ''Manga/{{Evangelion 303}}'': In chapter 17 twenty-years-old Shinji and Asuka explore their relationship's sexual dynamics further. Asuka wants to try bondage games. When Shinji asks if she is REALLY, ABSOLUTELY sure that she wants getting tied and spanked by him she retorts she is and he better does so now. Later, when he says he is surprised at her being a sub, she explains THAT is the point of fantasy. During the chapter Shinji reflects Asuka had probably fantasized about it for a long time but before him she had never met someone she trusted enough to try it, and she wanted to be sure she could share her secret fantasies with him before their wedding.

[[/folder]]
24th May '15 4:01:03 AM Morgenthaler
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* Discussed in ''TheSMJudge'', as Magda is trying to explain the difference between spousal abuse and what her husband has been doing with her.

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* Discussed in ''TheSMJudge'', ''Film/TheSMJudge'', as Magda is trying to explain the difference between spousal abuse and what her husband has been doing with her.
24th May '15 4:00:27 AM Morgenthaler
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* In ''PreachingToThePerverted'', with the mistress explaining [=BDSM=] to the newcomers.
* In ''Literature/ExitToEden'', with the mistress explaining [=BDSM=] to the newcomers.

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* In ''PreachingToThePerverted'', ''Film/PreachingToThePerverted'', with the mistress explaining [=BDSM=] to the newcomers.
* In ''Literature/ExitToEden'', ''Film/ExitToEden'', with the mistress explaining [=BDSM=] to the newcomers.



* The Time Warp from TheRockyHorrorPictureShow is implied to be this for most, genuinely weird, Transylvanians. Contrast this with Frank-N-Furter's [[{{CorruptTheCutie}} "Experiments" with easily manipulated humans]]

to:

* The Time Warp from TheRockyHorrorPictureShow ''Film/TheRockyHorrorPictureShow'' is implied to be this for most, genuinely weird, Transylvanians. Contrast this with Frank-N-Furter's [[{{CorruptTheCutie}} "Experiments" with easily manipulated humans]]



* A core philosophy in ''{{Hair}}'' - see page quote

to:

* A core philosophy in ''{{Hair}}'' ''Theatre/{{Hair}}'' - see page quote
19th Apr '15 8:01:40 PM nombretomado
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* Is used as therapy in ''[[ChakonaSpace Forest Tales]]'', after an overdose of mating pheromones Garrek becomes very aggressive during sex and he becomes afraid of accidentally hurting his mates. He hooks up with a female submissive and finds he can vent it in a controlled manner through [=BDSM=].

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* Is used as therapy in ''[[ChakonaSpace ''[[Literature/ChakonaSpace Forest Tales]]'', after an overdose of mating pheromones Garrek becomes very aggressive during sex and he becomes afraid of accidentally hurting his mates. He hooks up with a female submissive and finds he can vent it in a controlled manner through [=BDSM=].
17th Jan '15 9:55:07 PM JustinCognito
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* ''VideoGame/DragonAgeInquisition'': If the Inquisitor pursues a relationship with The Iron Bull, the relationship takes on more than a few notes of BDSM, but all through this filter. Bull makes clear from the start that the Inquisitor is in control, and he'll do nothing the Inquisitor doesn't want done - and if the Inquisitor says "no," then Bull just drops the arrangement with no grudges. If [[TheEmpath Cole]] is in the party, at some point, he may mention that, while Bull leads in the bedroom, the Inquisitor maintains the power in the proceedings.
18th Dec '14 7:22:50 PM Laudanum
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Although [=SSC=] is the staple for much of the BDSM scene, requiring consent, able means to understand and "safe" circumstances, it is important to recognize that BDSM is also very complex and that these boundaries can be pushed in certain ways, for different kinks and relationships, and even for intense role-plays. Dominance and Submission is about one person exerting their dominance over another and the other person submitting willfully, ''allowing'' the dominance of the other. It is this willful submission that underlies all healthy [=D/s=] relationships, and in return for this giving up of control to another person, that person, the Dominant, takes responsibility for the restriction, freedom, pain and pleasure of the submissive. However, there is more hardcore BDSM, where the kink is about very deep submission and the giving up of freedom, or even can be about a fight for control - where the Dominant takes control of the submissive and the submissive only allows that control after a struggle or the Dominant needing to earn it in some way. In this instance both the Dominant and the Submissive consent to the scenario, but the fight for control has an element of risk, sometimes even foregoing safe words (which is generally a really stupid idea unless you have absolute trust in your partner that they won't push you past your hard-line boundaries, or you have a Dungeon Master standing by to intervene if things go too far). In hardcore sadomasochism, the situation becomes even more involved, where the submissive has boundaries that they can't go past - things they like, things they hate, things they tolerate and things they can't stand - and the Dominant can choose to ride those boundaries for punishment and pleasure, sometimes inflicting very high levels of pain or discomfort as severe as the sub can tolerate it (and the idea of "toleration" for pain and discomfort can be pushed to the absolute scary limit, and the greater the trust and understanding between Dominant and Submissive the more the boundaries for consent, risk, control, submission and sadomasochism can be pushed (on both sides)). But in all these situations, the key point is that the Dominant becomes responsible for what happens to the submissive and should ''never'' break the submissive or push them past boundaries that they can't tolerate. The roles are complementary and depend upon willingness to enter into a given scene or relationship under certain conditions. When the control is forced upon the submissive unwillingly and they are treated in ways that they are unwilling to tolerate or don't want to submit to, or even if they ''do'' like it, if the Dominant pushes them to breaking point or causes permanent harm, that is when the entire nature of the relationship changes and it becomes abuser and abused, or more like the relationship found in torture. Also, if the Dominant neglects the aftercare and needs of the sub outside of the scene or sex, or forces too strict rules or punishment onto the sub, this can also be abuse, although the risk there is that both Dominant and submissive can be completely unaware that it is happening if they become too immersed.

to:

Although [=SSC=] is the staple for much of the BDSM scene, requiring consent, able means to understand and "safe" circumstances, it is important to recognize that BDSM is also very complex and that these boundaries can be pushed in certain ways, for different kinks and relationships, and even for intense role-plays. Dominance and Submission is about one person exerting their dominance over another and the other person submitting willfully, ''allowing'' the dominance of the other. It is this willful submission that underlies all healthy [=D/s=] relationships, and in return for this giving up of control to another person, that person, the Dominant, takes responsibility for the restriction, freedom, pain and pleasure of the submissive. However, there is

The
more hardcore BDSM, where the kink, the more the lines can be blurred:
* In more hardcore Dominance and Submission,
the kink is can be about very deep submission and the giving up of nearly all freedom, or the submissive wishing to please their Dominant to levels that risk personal harm. In complete contrast, the submission can even can be about a fight for control - where the Dominant takes control of the submissive and the submissive only allows that control after a struggle or the Dominant needing to earn it in some way. way (e.g. the Dominant needs to force complete restriction on the submissive before they will submit to their will, or there might even be a real physical struggle where the sub will only submit if overcome). In this instance both the Dominant and the Submissive consent to the scenario, but the fight for control has an element of risk, sometimes even foregoing safe words (which is generally a really stupid idea unless you have absolute trust in your partner that they won't push you past your hard-line boundaries, or you have a Dungeon Master standing by to intervene if things go too far). far).
*
In hardcore sadomasochism, Sadomasochism - Sadism and Masochism - the situation becomes even more involved, where the submissive as the masochist has boundaries that they can't go past - things they like, things they hate, things they tolerate and things they can't stand - and the Dominant as the sadist can choose to ride those boundaries for punishment and pleasure, sometimes inflicting very high levels of pain or discomfort as severe as the sub can tolerate it (and the idea of "toleration" for pain and discomfort can be pushed to the absolute scary limit, and the greater the trust and understanding between Dominant and Submissive the more the boundaries for consent, risk, control, submission and sadomasochism can be pushed (on both sides)). sides)).
*
But in all these situations, no matter the situation or combination of Bondage and Dominance, Dominance and Submission, or Sadism and Masochism, the key point is that the Dominant becomes responsible for what happens to the submissive and should ''never'' break the submissive or push them past boundaries that they can't tolerate. The roles are complementary and depend upon willingness to enter into a given scene or relationship under certain conditions. When the control is forced upon the submissive unwillingly and they are treated in ways that they are unwilling to tolerate or don't want to submit to, or even if they ''do'' like it, if the Dominant pushes them to breaking point or causes permanent harm, that is when the entire nature of the relationship changes and it becomes abuser and abused, or more like the relationship found in torture. Also, if the Dominant neglects the aftercare and needs of the sub outside of the scene or sex, or forces too strict rules or punishment onto the sub, this can also be abuse, although the risk there is that both Dominant and submissive can be completely unaware that it is happening if they become too immersed.
18th Dec '14 6:59:34 PM Laudanum
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Added DiffLines:

Although [=SSC=] is the staple for much of the BDSM scene, requiring consent, able means to understand and "safe" circumstances, it is important to recognize that BDSM is also very complex and that these boundaries can be pushed in certain ways, for different kinks and relationships, and even for intense role-plays. Dominance and Submission is about one person exerting their dominance over another and the other person submitting willfully, ''allowing'' the dominance of the other. It is this willful submission that underlies all healthy [=D/s=] relationships, and in return for this giving up of control to another person, that person, the Dominant, takes responsibility for the restriction, freedom, pain and pleasure of the submissive. However, there is more hardcore BDSM, where the kink is about very deep submission and the giving up of freedom, or even can be about a fight for control - where the Dominant takes control of the submissive and the submissive only allows that control after a struggle or the Dominant needing to earn it in some way. In this instance both the Dominant and the Submissive consent to the scenario, but the fight for control has an element of risk, sometimes even foregoing safe words (which is generally a really stupid idea unless you have absolute trust in your partner that they won't push you past your hard-line boundaries, or you have a Dungeon Master standing by to intervene if things go too far). In hardcore sadomasochism, the situation becomes even more involved, where the submissive has boundaries that they can't go past - things they like, things they hate, things they tolerate and things they can't stand - and the Dominant can choose to ride those boundaries for punishment and pleasure, sometimes inflicting very high levels of pain or discomfort as severe as the sub can tolerate it (and the idea of "toleration" for pain and discomfort can be pushed to the absolute scary limit, and the greater the trust and understanding between Dominant and Submissive the more the boundaries for consent, risk, control, submission and sadomasochism can be pushed (on both sides)). But in all these situations, the key point is that the Dominant becomes responsible for what happens to the submissive and should ''never'' break the submissive or push them past boundaries that they can't tolerate. The roles are complementary and depend upon willingness to enter into a given scene or relationship under certain conditions. When the control is forced upon the submissive unwillingly and they are treated in ways that they are unwilling to tolerate or don't want to submit to, or even if they ''do'' like it, if the Dominant pushes them to breaking point or causes permanent harm, that is when the entire nature of the relationship changes and it becomes abuser and abused, or more like the relationship found in torture. Also, if the Dominant neglects the aftercare and needs of the sub outside of the scene or sex, or forces too strict rules or punishment onto the sub, this can also be abuse, although the risk there is that both Dominant and submissive can be completely unaware that it is happening if they become too immersed.
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