History Main / ParentalMarriageVeto

20th Jun '17 10:02:01 AM ixfd64
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Even though most people in the western world choose their own spouses, this ''isn't'' a DeadHorseTrope. It can still appear in historical fiction, fantasy, in stories not set in the western world, or in any story where parents believe that they have a right to meddle in their grown children's lives. Contrast ChildMarriageVeto.

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Even though most people in the western world choose their own spouses, this ''isn't'' a DeadHorseTrope. It can still appear in historical fiction, fantasy, in stories not set in the western world, or in any story where parents believe that they have a right to meddle in their grown children's lives. Contrast ChildMarriageVeto.
ChildMarriageVeto. See also DatingWhatDaddyHates.
19th Jun '17 8:13:49 PM ectostar
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18th Jun '17 3:11:54 PM LadyNorbert
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* In ''Film/TheLordOfTheRings'' movies, Elrond tries to keep his daughter Arwen from marrying Aragorn, since this would require her to give up her elven {{immortality}}. Unlike most examples of this trope, he makes a very sound and very logical argument against it, and has no quarrel with Aragorn himself (Quite the contrary! He thinks "He's LikeASonToMe"). Emotionally, Elrond wants his daughter to be happy, but he understands the the ''very'' serious consequences (his brother gave up immortality), and he wakes her up to reality. Arwen marries Aragorn anyway, and accepts the consequences.

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* In ''Film/TheLordOfTheRings'' movies, Elrond tries to keep his daughter Arwen from marrying Aragorn, since this would require her to give up her elven {{immortality}}. Unlike most examples of this trope, he makes a very sound and very logical argument against it, and has no quarrel with Aragorn himself himself. (Quite the contrary! He thinks "He's LikeASonToMe"). LikeASonToMe.") Emotionally, Elrond wants his daughter to be happy, but he understands the the ''very'' serious consequences (his brother gave up immortality), and he wakes her up to reality. Arwen marries Aragorn anyway, and accepts the consequences.



* ''Film/TheGodfatherPartIII'': Although Vincent/Vinnie and Mary [[KissingCousins are cousins]] and didn't get married, Michael shows disapprove of their relationship because it would endanger his daughter. When Vincent becomes the new head of the family, he tells him the price: give up his relationship with Mary. [[spoiler: It doesn't matter later, since Mary gets shot to death.]]

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* ''Film/TheGodfatherPartIII'': Although Vincent/Vinnie and Mary [[KissingCousins are cousins]] and didn't don't get married, Michael shows disapprove disapproval of their relationship because it would endanger his daughter. When Vincent becomes the new head of the family, he Michael tells him the price: give up his relationship with Mary. [[spoiler: It doesn't matter later, since Mary gets shot to death.]]



* In ''Film/CrimsonPeak'', Edith's father puts a halt to Thomas's plans to propose to her, on the grounds that he suspects Thomas of [[GoldDigger only wanting her for her money]]. He pays off Thomas to not only call off the proposal, but disavow Edith of any notion that he loves her. [[spoiler:Lucille gets around the issue by killing Edith's father.]] As it turns out, [[spoiler:not only was her father right about Thomas and Lucille's motives, but he had another reason to oppose the marriage - he'd learned that Thomas was already legally married to at least three other women.]]

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* In ''Film/CrimsonPeak'', Edith's father puts a halt to Thomas's plans to propose to her, on the grounds that he suspects Thomas of [[GoldDigger only wanting her for her money]]. He pays off Thomas to not only call off the proposal, but disavow also to disabuse Edith of any notion that he loves her. [[spoiler:Lucille gets around the issue by killing Edith's father.]] As it turns out, [[spoiler:not only was her father right about Thomas and Lucille's motives, but he had another reason to oppose the marriage - he'd learned that Thomas was already legally married to at least three other women.]]



-->"Dad has done so much harm.. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister."

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-->"Dad has done so much harm..harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister."



** Anne Boleyn furiously [[spoiler: banishes Mary from court when Mary admits that she has secretly married William Stafford and is carrying his child.]] Although not technically her mother, since Anne was Queen at the time, she could be considered a defacto guardian.

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** Anne Boleyn furiously [[spoiler: banishes her sister Mary from court when Mary admits that she has secretly married William Stafford and is carrying his child.]] Although not technically her mother, since Anne was Queen at the time, she could be considered a defacto de facto guardian.



* In ''Literature/RomanceOfTheThreeKingdoms'', the Dowager Marchioness (basically "queen mother") of the Sun family subverts this trope by blessing the marriage of her daughter to Liu Bei, then upbraiding her son Sun Quan and his right-hand man Zhou Yu (son-in-law of the State Patriarch who also supports the marriage) for plotting to ''kill'' the groom, since after word got out it would make her daughter unweddable (in a "what man who want her now?" kind of way).
* Anne Brontë's ''Literature/AgnesGrey'' uses this as the {{backstory}} and a running plot thread: when Agnes's mother chose to marry a poor parson, she was disowned by her father (despite annual visits with her daughters to her childhood home, they never even ''saw'' him); after Mr. Grey's death she receives a letter from her father telling her she can come back and her daughters will be heiresses if she will just say that she regrets marrying. All three Grey women (she would have done it had her daughters wanted the money) tell him to go to hell.

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* In ''Literature/RomanceOfTheThreeKingdoms'', the Dowager Marchioness (basically "queen mother") of the Sun family subverts this trope by blessing the marriage of her daughter to Liu Bei, then upbraiding her son Sun Quan and his right-hand man Zhou Yu (son-in-law of the State Patriarch who also supports the marriage) for plotting to ''kill'' the groom, since after word got out it would make her daughter unweddable (in a "what man who would want her now?" kind of way).
* Anne Brontë's ''Literature/AgnesGrey'' uses this as the {{backstory}} and a running plot thread: when Agnes's mother chose to marry a poor parson, she was disowned by her father (despite annual visits with her daughters to her childhood home, they never even ''saw'' him); after Mr. Grey's death death, she receives a letter from her father telling her she can come back and her daughters will be heiresses if she will just say that she regrets marrying. All three Grey women (she would have done it had her daughters wanted the money) tell him to go to hell.



* Creator/JaneAusten really loved this trope. Then, it was the law of the land in her day, unless you escaped to Scotland.
** In ''Literature/PrideAndPrejudice'', Mr Darcy's aunt Catherine attempts to veto the marriage... which ends up [[NiceJobFixingItVillain helping to bring it about]], since at the time that Lady Catherine declares her veto, Elizabeth and Darcy are each separately convinced that the other no longer wants anything to do with them. Hearing that Elizabeth has refused to promise not to marry him is what gives Mr. Darcy enough hope to try proposing to her again, with rather better results than his first attempt.

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* Creator/JaneAusten really loved this trope. Then, Of course, it was the law of the land in her day, unless you escaped to Scotland.
** In ''Literature/PrideAndPrejudice'', Mr Mr. Darcy's aunt Catherine attempts to veto the marriage... which ends up [[NiceJobFixingItVillain helping to bring it about]], since at the time that Lady Catherine declares her veto, Elizabeth and Darcy are each separately convinced that the other no longer wants anything to do with them. Hearing that Elizabeth has refused to promise not to marry him is what gives Mr. Darcy enough hope to try proposing to her again, with rather better results than his first attempt.



* The ''Literature/LordDarcy'' story "A Matter of Gravity" by Randell Garrett. Count de la Vexin forbids his son from marrying the daughter of his chief guardsman. The Count's daughter believes that because he is a "psychically blind" rationalist, he is incapable of recognising or understanding True Love. [[spoiler: As in ''Murder on the Links'', which may have inspired this, he actually recognises the woman is a nasty peice of work, and gets murdered by her]].

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* The ''Literature/LordDarcy'' story "A Matter of Gravity" by Randell Garrett. Count de la Vexin forbids his son from marrying the daughter of his chief guardsman. The Count's daughter believes that because he is a "psychically blind" rationalist, he is incapable of recognising or understanding True Love. [[spoiler: As in ''Murder on the Links'', which may have inspired this, he actually recognises the woman is a nasty peice piece of work, and gets murdered by her]].



** A few pages later, we have a completely Unjustified example. [[spoiler: After Alaric uses the secret powers of the Prince's Crown to change the nature of Laeshana's magic, rendering her unaligned]] Queen Tathilya tries to veto the mairriage on the grounds that Laeshana is a peasant, which on top of being irrelevant isn't even true. (Laeshana belongs to the Order of the Open Book, and members of that order are the social equals of the nobility, no matter their birth.)

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** A few pages later, we have a completely Unjustified example. [[spoiler: After Alaric uses the secret powers of the Prince's Crown to change the nature of Laeshana's magic, rendering her unaligned]] Queen Tathilya tries to veto the mairriage marriage on the grounds that Laeshana is a peasant, which on top of being irrelevant isn't even true. (Laeshana belongs to the Order of the Open Book, and members of that order are the social equals of the nobility, no matter their birth.)



* In the ''Series/QuantumLeap'' episode "The Americanization of Machiko", Sam's mission is to convince his leapee's mother Lanore to accept the leapee's Japanese wife Machiko whom he met and married during a tour of duty overseas. In the original timeline he married his former sweetheart Naomi instead, and it was a miserable marriage. Lanore remains hostile throughout the episode despite Machiko and Sam's best efforts. [[spoiler:Ultimately the problem isn't Machiko so much as it is Lanore still hurting from her daughter Eileen's (the leapee's sister) suicide and having trouble accepting another daughter into the household.]] Near the end of the episode, Sam and Machiko are about to be re-married in a church. Sam is worried that he may actually have to exchange wedding vows with Machiko before leaping, since Lanore hasn't accepted her yet. [[spoiler:Fortunately, Lanore bursts into the church right when the ceremony begins, wearing a kimono to show her acceptance of Machiko. As Lanore and Machiko bow to each other in respect, Sam leaps...]]

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* In the ''Series/QuantumLeap'' episode "The Americanization of Machiko", Machiko," Sam's mission is to convince his leapee's mother Lanore to accept the leapee's Japanese wife Machiko whom he met and married during a tour of duty overseas. In the original timeline he married his former sweetheart Naomi instead, and it was a miserable marriage. Lanore remains hostile throughout the episode despite Machiko and Sam's best efforts. [[spoiler:Ultimately the problem isn't Machiko so much as it is Lanore still hurting from her daughter Eileen's (the leapee's sister) suicide and having trouble accepting another daughter into the household.]] Near the end of the episode, Sam and Machiko are about to be re-married in a church. Sam is worried that he may actually have to exchange wedding vows with Machiko before leaping, since Lanore hasn't accepted her yet. [[spoiler:Fortunately, Lanore bursts into the church right when the ceremony begins, wearing a kimono to show her acceptance of Machiko. As Lanore and Machiko bow to each other in respect, Sam leaps...]]



* ''Series/TheFlash2014'': Joe West refused to give Eddie Thawne his blessing to ask his daughter Iris to marry him. It's not that there was anything wrong or untoward about Eddie (the man was Joe's ''partner'') -- it's because Joe knew their relationship was a case of WrongGuyFirst, and believed that no matter how much Iris loved Eddie, she loved her best friend Barry Allen more, even if she didn't realize yet. Joe also believed that once she did, she and Eddie would realize the marriage was a mistake and get hurt because of it. Considering an earlier episode in the season all but confirmed this to be the case, complete with a BigDamnKiss between Barry and Iris (and the only reason why no one except Barry remembers the events of that epsiode is due to TimeTravel shenanigans), Joe may have had a point. While Eddie and Iris got engaged anyway, Eddie died before the marriage could happen, so we'll never really know if Joe was right.

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* ''Series/TheFlash2014'': Joe West refused to give Eddie Thawne his blessing to ask his daughter Iris to marry him. It's not that there was anything wrong or untoward about Eddie (the man was Joe's ''partner'') -- it's because Joe knew their relationship was a case of WrongGuyFirst, and believed that no matter how much Iris loved Eddie, she loved her best friend Barry Allen more, even if she didn't realize yet. Joe also believed that once she did, she and Eddie would realize the marriage was a mistake and get hurt because of it. Considering an earlier episode in the season all but confirmed this to be the case, complete with a BigDamnKiss between Barry and Iris (and the only reason why no one except Barry remembers the events of that epsiode episode is due to TimeTravel shenanigans), Joe may have had a point. While Eddie and Iris got engaged anyway, Eddie died before the marriage could happen, so we'll never really know if Joe was right.



** VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIII has Lighting object to Snow and Serah's engagement until a good ways into the game. As her and Serah's parents are dead and she cares for Serah, it's very much this trope despite them being sisters.

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** VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIII ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIII'' has Lighting object to Snow and Serah's engagement until a good ways into the game. As her and Serah's parents are dead and she cares for Serah, it's very much this trope despite them being sisters.



* [[NouveauRiche Consuelo Vanderbilt]] had hoped to marry Winthrop Rutherfurd. Her mother refused, because she set up her marriage to [[ImpoverishedPatrician Duke of Marlborough]]. To this end, she first begged, ordered, and even faked a fatal illness to force her daughter to marry the Duke. Her daughter finally relented, after which her mother's fatal illness miraculously got cured. It would not be an understatement to call the marriage "unhappy" (famously, the married couple always dined with a gigantic centerpiece placed on the table between them so that they do not have to see each other even when etiquette dictate that they must be in the same room at the same time).
* Creator/JRRTolkien's own romance, which became the basis for the story of Beren and Lúthien. Tolkien met Edith Bratt at 16 and 19 respectively and fell in love, but his guardian Father Morgan later forbade contact between them until Tolkien became a legal adult at 21. He wrote her on the evening his twenty-first birthday and found out she was engaged to another man. She broke it off, though, when she learned he hadn't forgotten her and accepted Tolkien's marriage proposal. Tolkien described their troubled courtship in considerable detail in a letter to their son, acknowledging that his guardian had a point as 'Falling in love, even a true and lasting love' is not really a Good Thing for a young man who should be concentrating on his education. Tolkien also emphasized that Edith had made him no promises and was completely free. Had she chosen to go through with her fist engagement he, Tolkien, would have had no grounds for complaint

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* [[NouveauRiche Consuelo Vanderbilt]] had hoped to marry Winthrop Rutherfurd. Her mother refused, because she set up her marriage to [[ImpoverishedPatrician the Duke of Marlborough]]. To this end, she first begged, ordered, and even faked a fatal illness to force her daughter to marry the Duke. Her daughter finally relented, after which her mother's fatal illness miraculously got cured. It would not be an understatement to call the marriage "unhappy" (famously, the married couple always dined with a gigantic centerpiece placed on the table between them so that they do not have to see each other even when etiquette dictate that they must be in the same room at the same time).
* Creator/JRRTolkien's own romance, which became the basis for the story of Beren and Lúthien. Tolkien met Edith Bratt at 16 and 19 respectively and fell in love, but his guardian Father Morgan later forbade contact between them until Tolkien became a legal adult at 21. He wrote her on the evening his twenty-first birthday and found out she was engaged to another man. She broke it off, though, when she learned he hadn't forgotten forgotten, her and accepted Tolkien's marriage proposal. Tolkien described their troubled courtship in considerable detail in a letter to their son, acknowledging that his guardian had a point as 'Falling in love, even a true and lasting love' is not really a Good Thing for a young man who should be concentrating on his education. Tolkien also emphasized that Edith had made him no promises and was completely free. Had she chosen to go through with her fist engagement he, Tolkien, would have had no grounds for complaint
6th May '17 10:00:10 PM Nyame
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* ''Series/TheFlash2014'': Joe West refused to give Eddie Thawne his blessing to ask his daughter Iris to marry him. It's not that there was anything wrong or untoward about Eddie (the man was Joe's ''partner'') -- it's because Joe knew their relationship was a case of WrongGuyFirst, and believed that no matter how much Iris loved Eddie, she loved her best friend Barry Allen more, even if she didn't realize yet. Joe also believed that once she did, she and Eddie would realize the marriage was a mistake and get hurt because of it. Considering an earlier episode in the season all but confirmed this to be the case, complete with a BigDamnKiss between Barry and Iris (and the only reason why no one except Barry remembers the events of that epsiode is due to TimeTravel shenanigans), Joe may have had a point. While Eddie and Iris got engaged anyway, Eddie died before the marriage could happen, so we'll never really know if Joe was right.
15th Mar '17 12:39:11 PM secretfan14
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* In ''Manga/CardcaptorSakura'', [[{{Dojikko}} Nadeshiko]] falls [[HotForTeacher in love with her teacher]], and her parents and ''specially'' her grandfather disown her when she marries him after graduation. They disapproved of him partly because of [[MayDecemberRomance their age difference]] and mostly because he wasn't rich like them, thus either feared he was a GoldDigger or disliked his lower social class. Years later, Sonomi still hates Fujitaka. (although in Sonomi's case, it's less that he's older and poorer and more that he took her beloved cousin away from her.)

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* In ''Manga/CardcaptorSakura'', [[{{Dojikko}} [[CuteClumsyGirl Nadeshiko]] falls [[HotForTeacher in love with her teacher]], and her parents and ''specially'' her grandfather disown her when she marries him after graduation. They disapproved of him partly because of [[MayDecemberRomance their age difference]] and mostly because he wasn't rich like them, thus either feared he was a GoldDigger or disliked his lower social class. Years later, Sonomi still hates Fujitaka. (although in Sonomi's case, it's less that he's older and poorer and more that he took her beloved cousin away from her.)
2nd Mar '17 1:17:51 PM Xtifr
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** ''A Damsel in Distress'' starts off this way, with Lady Caroline, the daughter of the Earl of Marshmorton, in love with a thoroughly unsuitable (American and not rich) young man she met on a ship voyage. The family has absolutely put their foot down, and forbidden her to even leave the house until she "comes to her senses" and chooses a more suitable mate. It turns out that this technique was actually successful with her father, back in the day.

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** ''A Damsel in Distress'' starts off this way, with Lady Caroline, Maud Marsh, the daughter of the Earl of Marshmorton, in love with a thoroughly unsuitable (American and not rich) young man she met on a ship voyage. The family has absolutely put their foot down, and forbidden her to even leave the house until she "comes to her senses" and chooses a more suitable mate. It turns out that this technique was actually successful with her father, back in the day.
2nd Mar '17 10:01:29 AM Xtifr
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* In ''Literature/TheOtherBoleynGirl'', Anne Boleyn furiously [[spoiler: banishes Mary from court when Mary admits that she has secretly married William Stafford and is carrying his child.]] Although not technically her mother, since Anne was Queen at the time, she could be considered a defacto guardian.

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* In ''Literature/TheOtherBoleynGirl'', ''Literature/TheOtherBoleynGirl'':
**
Anne Boleyn furiously [[spoiler: banishes Mary from court when Mary admits that she has secretly married William Stafford and is carrying his child.]] Although not technically her mother, since Anne was Queen at the time, she could be considered a defacto guardian.



* The A-plot of ''every'' ''Literature/BlandingsCastle'' book by Creator/PGWodehouse, to the point where Wodehouse himself had his own names for all the character tropes involved. The "parent" was always one of his governess sisters, and the resolution almost invariably ended with the Hon. Galahad Threepwood (or sometimes Uncle Fred) blackmailing said sister into letting the marriage through, generally using an element of the B-plot.

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* Creator/PGWodehouse used this trope quite a bit:
**
The A-plot of ''every'' ''Literature/BlandingsCastle'' book by Creator/PGWodehouse, to the point where Wodehouse himself had his own names for all the character tropes involved. The "parent" was always one of his governess sisters, and the resolution almost invariably ended with the Hon. Galahad Threepwood (or sometimes Uncle Fred) blackmailing said sister into letting the marriage through, generally using an element of the B-plot.


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** ''A Damsel in Distress'' starts off this way, with Lady Caroline, the daughter of the Earl of Marshmorton, in love with a thoroughly unsuitable (American and not rich) young man she met on a ship voyage. The family has absolutely put their foot down, and forbidden her to even leave the house until she "comes to her senses" and chooses a more suitable mate. It turns out that this technique was actually successful with her father, back in the day.
16th Feb '17 12:11:14 PM EspyPsyche
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* In the Baha'i faith, a couple cannot get married unless they both get the consent of their parents. If one of them vetoes it, they'll just have to wait until the grouch keels over (or just become [[SelfMadeOrphan self made orphans]].

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* In the Baha'i faith, a couple cannot get married unless they both get the consent of their parents. If one of them vetoes it, they'll just have to wait until the grouch keels over (or just become [[SelfMadeOrphan self made orphans]].orphans]]).
16th Feb '17 12:10:56 PM EspyPsyche
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* In the Baha'i faith, a couple cannot get married unless they both get the consent of their parents. If one of them vetoes it, they'll just have to wait until the grouch keels over.

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* In the Baha'i faith, a couple cannot get married unless they both get the consent of their parents. If one of them vetoes it, they'll just have to wait until the grouch keels over.over (or just become [[SelfMadeOrphan self made orphans]].
24th Jan '17 6:21:25 AM GlitteringFlowers
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* In TheFifties, a Japanese man named Toshimichi Ōkubo met a Chinese-Japanese girl named Aisin-Gioro Huisheng, and they fell in love. However, Huisheng's Japanese mother Hiro Saga refused to let them stay together: her daughter was a candidate to get into an ArrangedMarriage to then-Crown Prince Akihito. [[StarCrossedLovers Huisheng and Ōkubo]] ultimately [[TogetherInDeath commited suicide together.]]
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