History Main / KungfuJesus

A SubTrope of JesusWasWayCool.

* The JudasPriest song "Painkiller" is about God sending a messiah down to Earth to fight evil. This messiah is called the Painkiller, and is a [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot cyborg motorcyclist who rides a motorcycle with circular saws for wheels and a fire breathing dragon for a chassis]]. He proceeds to kick evil's ass and resurrect mankind before returning to heaven.

*** And plays Bass for {{Aerosmith}}.

* Aslan ({{Narnia}}'s resident Jesus {{Expy}}) personally chomps the White Witch to death in ''[[{{Narnia}} The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe]]''.

** The [[http://www.patheos.com/community/slacktivist/tag/left-behind/ slacktivist]] {{Deconstruction}} of the novels has coined the term Turbo Jesus (Short for Turbo Robo Killer Jesus-2000 with his [[RedundantDepartmentOfRedundancy deathly deathrays of deathlyness]]) for this version of Jesus, while the deconstruction of the kids-books prefers to call him [[KneelBeforeZod Zod]]. Neither is very pleased with this interpetation of Jesus, especially since the LeftBehind authors insist that they are [[NotMakingThisUpDisclaimer only writing what Jesus really will do soon]].

** Or when He clears the temple in Jerusalem. With a whip. ''That he made himself'' for that very occasion. It's worth emphasising pacifists are not usually known for wandering into public meeting places with weapons to beat eight tons of crap out of everyone making a quick buck off of religion. Yet that is *exactly* what Jesus did. Nor did Jesus ever in his ministry ever condemn soldiers or police for doing their job of maintaining order, and even went so far as to praise certain individuals.

* Fei from ''{{Xenogears}}'' is a Kung Fu CrystalDragonJesus. Meanwhile, Elly is Kung Fu Crystal Dragon [[UsefulNotes/{{Gnosticism}} Sophia]], Miang is Kung Fu Crystal Dragon Lilith (or Eve), and Grahf is Kung Fu Crystal Dragon Demiurge. Deus gets stuck with playing a comparatively more standard Demiurge.

** Or when He clears the temple in Jerusalem. With a whip. ''That he made himself'' for that very occasion. It's worth emphasising pacifists are not usually known for wandering into public meeting places with weapon and proceding to beat eight tons of crap out of everyone making an unholy buck off of religion. Yet that is *exactly* what Jesus did. Nor did Jesus ever in his ministry ever condemn soldiers or police for doing their job of maintaining order, and even went so far as to praise certain individuals.

** Or when He clears the temple in Jerusalem. With a whip. ''That he made himself'' for that very occasion. [[AC:RealLife]] It's worth mentioning pacifists are not usually known for wandering into public meeting places with weapon and proceding to beat eight tons of crap out of everyone making an unholy buck off of religion. Yet that is *exactly* what Jesus did. Nor did Jesus ever in his ministry ever condemn soldiers or police for doing their job of maintaining order, and even went so far as to praise certain individuals.

** The book of Revelation, in which a figure (commonly believed by some circles to be Jesus), [[HeavyMithril descends from heaven wearing a blood-soaked robe, wielding a double edged sword, leading the armies of heaven in the battle of Armageddon]].
** Or when He clears the temple in Jerusalem. With a whip. ''That he made himself'' for that very occasion.

[[AC:RealLife]]
* Pacifists are not usually known for wandering into public meeting places with a bullwhip and proceding to beat eight tons of crap out of everyone making an unholy buck off of religion. Yet that is *exactly* what Jesus did. Nor did Jesus ever in his ministry ever condemn soldiers or police for doing their job of maintaining order, and even went so far as to praise certain individuals. In future tense, Jesus is prophecied to near single handedly obliterate every remaining hostile force at the battle of Armageddon. It goes to show that even a softie who just wants people to be nice to each other can only be pushed by evil so far.

A NewMedia and comedy trope in which {{Jesus}} is depicted doing very, ''very'' [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome awesome]] deeds that somehow were never recorded in the Bible. May involve Jesus being a BadAss, or just generally doing something [[RuleOfCool really cool]]. Has a certain degree of [[TruthinTelevision]].

A NewMedia and comedy trope in which {{Jesus}} is depicted doing very, ''very'' [[WhatDoYouMeanItsNotAwesome awesome]] deeds that somehow were never recorded in the Bible. May involve Jesus being a BadAss, or just generally doing something [[RuleOfCool really cool]].

* Pacifists are not usually known for wandering into public meeting places with a bullwhip and proceding to beat eight tons of crap out of everyone making an unholy buck off of religion. Yet that is *exactly* what Jesus did. Nor did Jesus ever in his ministry ever condemn soldiers or police for doing their job of maintaining order, and even went so far as to praise certain individuals. In future tense, Jesus is prophecied to near single handedly obliterate every remaining hostile force at the battle of Armageddon. It goes to show that even a softie can only be pushed by evil so far.

* Darkly deconstructed in YuYuHakusho with Sensui. His story is a [[WoobieDestroyerOfWorlds sad but believable outcome]] of being a [[YoungConqueror martial-arts prodigy]] hailed as the {{Messiah}}...until, that is, [[spoiler: you go through [[BloodbathVillainOrigin an experience]] [[GoMadFromTheRevelation traumatizing enough]] to be considered MindRape, you become [[FaceHeelTurn evil]] and [[SplitPersonality insane]], and turn your rage [[MisanthropeSupreme on your own species]] [[HumansAreBastard for being bastards]]...[[DeathSeeker yourself included]].]]

** Jesus was killed by an Iraqi later in the episode. The boys and Santa escaped to South Park, at which point Santa gave a speech to the assembled townspeople, urging them to, from this point on, to remember Christmas as the day a brave man named Jesus died. Which is ''Easter]], by the way.

** Jesus was killed by an Iraqi later in the episode. The boys and Santa escaped to South Park, at which point Santa gave a speech to the assembled townspeople, urging them to, from this point on, to remember Christmas as the day a brave man named Jesus died.

* [[TheMatrix Neo]]. Or, [[RuleOfSymbolism arguably,]] [[MeaningfulName Trinity]].
-->Neo: Jesus.
-->Trinity: [[RunningGag What?]]
** The creators went out of their way to include Messianic themes for Neo. Even his [[MeaningfulName name]], Thomas Anderson. [[DontExplainTheJoke Thomas, the twin, the doubting Disciple? Andros-Son? Son of Man?]]

* [[FistOfTheNorthStar Kenshiro, Raoh and Toki]] may not be actually Jesus, but they definite have various amounts of his qualities. Toki especially; one of his attacks is [[FanNickname nicknamed]] "The Jesus Beam." and [[LooksLikeJesus looks like him]], but with grey hair.
** Toki is more of the stereotypical Jesus as benevolent figure, while unlike "mere" village protectors, Kenshiro's traveling takes him so far and leads him to help so many (if only by beating their immediate causes of woe into oblivion) that the series gives him the out-of-universe title ''Sekimatsu Kyuuseishuu'' -- "End of Century Savior."
** And of course, there's Rei, the Star of Justice who is destined to live and die for others, and his best friend Shu, the Star of Benevolence who ''literally'' bore a cross of ''stone'' to his death for the sake of thousands of children.
** Raoh, ironically, fits this trope the best in this franchise. Having [[LoveRedeems learnt what it means to love,]] he selflessly gives his life to Heaven itself to bring Light and Hope to a world torn asunder by nuclear fire.

* In ''PuellaMagiMadokaMagica'' this is [[spoiler: Madoka herself. Her kindness is so badass that it rewrites the laws of time, space, and reality itself to make the ''universe'' a kinder and gentler place]]
* [[spoiler:Acqua of the Back]] from ''ToAruMajutsuNoIndex'' is a Saint, meaning he possesses qualities similar to the Son of God, has the power of "Divine Mother's Mercy", derived from the mother of Jesus and allows him to bypass his natural biological limiters, and as a member of God's Right Seat, he is aligned with ArchangelGabriel, the one who announced the conception of Christ to Mary, and aligns him to the element of water.

* According to a bit of ''[[{{Warhammer 40000}} 40K]]'' fluff, Jesus was highly likely one of the many pseudonyms of The Emperor of Mankind. Jesus must have been feeling ''incredibly'' merciful when He only used a bullwhip at the temple. But it's ''probably'' just because bolters hadn't been invented yet.
* One maker of [=~Let's Play~=] videos is named Kung Fu Jesus. He's done a playthrough of GodHand.

---> Suck on this, you fucking wops.

* The JudasPriest song "Painkiller" is about God sending a messiah down to Earth to fight evil. This messiah is called the Painkiller, and is a [[NinjaPirateZombieRobot cyborg motorcyclist who rides a motorcycle with circular saws for wheels and a fire breathing dragon for a chassis]]. He proceeds to kick evil's ass and resurrect mankind before returning to heaven. Notable in that the song predates most of the examples here.
** Considering that some of the examples here are [[OlderThanTheyThink hundreds of years old]]
** Which may or may not have been the inspiration for a certain [[PainKiller game]].
*** MechaJesus.
*** Isn't that [[{{Transformers}} Optimus Prime's job]]?
*** Circular saws for wheels? Did anyone else think of [[WackyRaces Rufus Ruffcut]]?

** Well, Jesus said that the Anti-Christ was the opposite of him in every sense, so if Jesus was badass, it's obvious that the Anti was not.

See also ChurchMilitant and PalsWithJesus. Might go on adventures with ActionSanta.

See also ChurchMilitant PalsWithJesus. Might go on adventures with ActionSanta.

* Aslan (read: [[CrystalDragonJesus cosplaying Furry Jesus]]) personally chomps the White Witch to death in ''[[{{Narnia}} The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe]]''.

** "[[AtopTheFourthWall Jésus]] [[[[http://atopfourthwall.blogspot.com/2011/04/godyssey-1.html Wins]]: [[MortalKombat Theology!]]"

** This is very common in old Anglo-Saxon Christianity. TheDreamOfTheRood is all about portraying Jesus as a young warrior prince who is crucified not because he knew he had to and so he let it happen, but rather ''wanted'' to be crucified because he knew how important it was. No Roman soldiers nailed him to any cross, He climbed up on that cross himself, like the badass He is.