History Main / JokeItem

* ''VideoGame/{{PAYDAY 2}}'':

** The Lumberlite L2 Chainsaw, included in the Ultimate Edition of the game. [[note]]originally as part of the [[Film/Scarface1983 Scarface Character Pack]][[/note]] You'd think a ''chainsaw'' would be a pretty powerful melee weapon, but apparently not. On release, it had the same uncharged damage attack of the ''weapon butt, except''' '''''slower!'''''. The damage was boosted to be a bit more useful in a later update, but it still retains its slow swing speed, meaning it can't be used with Sociopath, a perk deck ''designed around making melee weapons viable.''

* The Wide Gun in ''VideoGame/BionicCommando'' is a nearly useless [[ShortRangeShotgun Short Range]] SpreadShot. It ''does'' have a use in the overhead stages, where the short range is less of a complication, and the four-shot wide spread is helpful at defeating enemies quickly...but the [[GameBreaker Rocket Launcher]] is still vastly superior.

* The HK droid Pacifist Package in ''VideoGame/StarWarsKnightsOfTheOldRepublicIITheSithLords'' is a waste of several thousand credits, but you get some awesomely hilarious dialogue when you install it in HK-47. It also gives him a small stat boost, so it's not ''completely'' useless.

* ''VideoGame/AnotherCode'': In the ''[[VideoGameRemake Recollection]]'' version of ''Journey into Lost Memories'', you can buy several souvenirs and snacks in the Lake Juliet gift shop, as well as trade in any cans you find on the ground in for tokens (that can be used to get gumballs). Eating the food just gives you Ashley's thoughts on the flavor, and the amount of souvenirs you purchase will alter part of a conversation Ashley and her father have near the end of the game, but none of this actually impacts the plot whatsoever.

** {{Averted}} in the original Wii version of the game, where you require a gumball or a token in order to solve one of the puzzles (though even then, you don't have to engage with can collection).

** The [[PoisonMushroom "Potoin"]] (sic) from ''VideoGame/DirgeOfCerberus''. ''Massively'' averted with "Elixor", which works like a combination of a normal Elixir and a Phoenix Down.

** ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIV'' has items and costumes in a similar vein. You also can't trade or sell the costumes.

* ''VideoGame/Undertale'' has an interesting variation of this with the Genocide Route exclusive Real Knife and Locket. On paper, they're great, having the highest stats out of any equipment in the game by far with 99 ATK and 99 DEF respectively. However, by the time you can actually ''get'' these items, [[spoiler: the only fight left in the game, and the only fight where you can possibly use them in, is against Sans, who completely negates any and all equipment since he dodges all of your overpowered attacks, and his attacks ignore your defense and invincibility frames. Even then, Sans only has 1 attack and 1 HP, so the player's defense and attack power wouldn't make any difference regardless, and he's scripted to die in one hit when you actually get the ability to hit him.]] You don't even get to use them after the fact either since Asgore and Flowey are killed automatically in a cutscene after encountering them.

%%* ''Super VideoGame/{{Hydlide}}'' for the UsefulNotes/SegaGenesis features several of these, which all prompt the game to announce that "It's a joke" when you try to use them.

* The 1990s UsefulNotes/{{Macintosh}} RPG ''VideoGame/TaskMaker'' is ''loaded'' with these. Among these are "Butter Knife" as a weapon; several useless items such as "Old Empty Chest" and various early Macintosh models; and various potions that hurt the player instead of helping them. ''VideoGame/TheTombOfTheTaskMaker'' takes it a step further by having joke armor ("Rotted Shield", "Stinky Boots", "Ring of Constriction", etc.; it also has "Hard Rock Bands" which gives maximum protection but deafens the player).

** The RunningGag joke item, the "Excalipoor" sword (occasionally written as "[[SpellMyNameWithAnS Excalipur]]"), which has absurdly low attack power any time it's equippable (though some games give it a high listed attack power, but the property of ignoring that calculation and dealing 1 damage). It's most commonly associated with the recurring character Gilgamesh, who used it (to poor effect) in the item's first appearance in ''VideoGame/FinalFantasyV''. It's actually a LethalJokeItem in ''Final Fantasy V'' when used right (some attacks, most noticeably Goblin Punch, use its listed attack power but skip the "always do 1 damage" code, or when used against insanely evasive, but ''[[OneHitPointWonder very]]'' fragile Skull Eaters), but in other games, it's [[ExactlyWhatItSaysOnTheTin exactly as "poor" as advertised]].

** ''VideoGame/KingdomHearts358DaysOver2'' features two joke weapons for the entire Organization in the multiplayer. One of the weapons is a useless one and one is a [[LethalJokeItem not-so-useless one]]: Xemnas has fans and a heart shaped light saber, Xigbar has hairdryers and a trumpet (they make honking sounds when you reload), Xaldin has brooms and six sticks with dragon heads on them, Vexen has a pot lid and a round shield with a snowman on it to match his element, Leaxus has a squeaky mallet and a [[UsefulNotes/RapaNui Moai Head]], Zexion has a ''giant sandwich'' and a white laptop (which looks like a Mac), Saix has a ''giant banana'' and a cute [[MoonRabbit bunny]] and spaceship claymore, Axel has ''pizzas'' and two giant ninja stars, Demyx has a tennis racket and a big broom, Luxord wields [=CDs=] and several {{Four Leaf Clover}}s, Marluxia has a ladle and a giant bent water lily with a long stem, Larxene has dragonfly hair clips and eight lightbulbs, and Roxas and Xion share an umbrella, and ''very'' spiky and absurdly fast key. As a bonus, some of those weapons include a ShoutOut or two: Xaldin's [[WesternAnimation/{{Fantasia}} brooms]] look awfully familiar, and his Wyvern isn't a subtle difference from a Heartless of the same name, Lexaeus' above-mentioned [[UsefulNotes/RapaNui Moai head]], Axel's pizza weapons are called "Puzza Cut", Demyx's [[Manga/ThePrinceOfTennis Prince of Awesome racket]], Luxord's very obvious [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIII Finest Fantasy 13 CDs]], Roxas' [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII Umbr]][[VideoGame/CrisisCore ella]]...

* ''VideoGame/{{Fallout}}'':
** A recurring weapon in the ''Fallout'' series is the BB Gun. It has a large clip size and decent range, but abysmal damage. A critical shot from the BB Gun is worse than a regular shot from the starting pistol. While the regular BB Gun is genuinely pathetic in combat, it often has a NerfArm or LethalJokeItem variant, meaning the guns do have some value in the sense that you can crack them open to find the fairly uncommon BB ammo. Its appearances are usually accompanied by ''Film/AChristmasStory'' references.

* The Wide Gun in ''VideoGame/BionicCommando'' is a nearly useless [[ShortRangeShotgun Short Range]] SpreadShot.

* In ''VideoGame/UnleashTheLight'', the description for the Sparkly Badge says that all it does is make the wearer sparkle in battle, unlike the other badges, which have actual benefits. The only use it has is for a {{Sidequest}} in Pyrope's World, which only rewards you with a Super Star Fruit and a random charm, while in Rose's Room, it can be at least sold for [[WeirdCurrency Light Bits]].

* The ''[=xXxenophile=] Card Game'' includes the card Nik, Fodunk of the Glass Sleeve. Popping the card has this effect: "Splee three frooKs, biffle preden7ine mass." No, none of that means anything in the context of the game either. Furthermore, the card lacks the usual matchable symbols at the edges (meaning you can only pop it via the special abilities of other cards) and is worth no points - there's an unreadable symbol where the number denoting point value should be.

* The Franchise/ResidentEvil series has a long standing tradition of having a knife that is useless to varying degrees, seemingly only added to you always at least have ''some'' means of attack (as the amount of ammo in the game is finite). To wit: