History Main / JokeItem

21st Feb '17 5:41:30 PM nombretomado
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** Bonus: some of those weapons include a ShoutOut or two: Xaldin's [[DisneyFantasia brooms]] look awfully familiar, and his Wyvern isn't a subtle difference from a Heartless of the same name, Lexaeus' above-mentioned [[EasterIsland Moai head]], Axel's pizza weapons are called "Puzza Cut", Demyx's [[Manga/ThePrinceOfTennis Prince of Awesome racket]], Luxord's very obvious [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIII Finest Fantasy 13 CDs]], Roxas' [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII Umbr]][[CrisisCore ella]]...

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** Bonus: some of those weapons include a ShoutOut or two: Xaldin's [[DisneyFantasia brooms]] look awfully familiar, and his Wyvern isn't a subtle difference from a Heartless of the same name, Lexaeus' above-mentioned [[EasterIsland Moai head]], Axel's pizza weapons are called "Puzza Cut", Demyx's [[Manga/ThePrinceOfTennis Prince of Awesome racket]], Luxord's very obvious [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyXIII Finest Fantasy 13 CDs]], Roxas' [[VideoGame/FinalFantasyVII Umbr]][[CrisisCore Umbr]][[VideoGame/CrisisCore ella]]...
10th Feb '17 10:50:50 PM chucknormie
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** The UMP: It is the worst sub-machine and the worst automatic gun in the game. It suffers from low damage, low armour penetration, low ammunition capacity and slow rate of fire compared to all the other submachine guns, it's only advantages are a minor speed boost for the the user, and being more accurate on the move. It's also more expensive than the [=MP5=], which outclasses it in every situation. Ironically {{averted|Trope}} in ''Global Offensive'', as the [=UMP=] received a ''massive'' {{Buff}}, making it the most-used SMG in the game and even being used to play against ''rifles''. It's basically become ''Global Offensive'''s version of ''1.6'' and ''Source'''s [[HandCannon Deagle]].

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** The UMP: It is the worst sub-machine and the worst automatic gun in the game. It suffers from low damage, low armour penetration, low ammunition capacity and slow rate of fire compared to all the other submachine guns, it's only advantages are a minor speed boost for the the user, and being more accurate on the move. It's also more expensive than the [=MP5=], which outclasses it in every situation. Ironically {{averted|Trope}} in ''Global Offensive'', as the [=UMP=] received a ''massive'' {{Buff}}, making it the most-used SMG in the game and even being used to play against ''rifles''. It's basically become the ''Global Offensive'''s Offensive'' version of ''1.6'' and ''Source'''s [[HandCannon Deagle]].
10th Feb '17 10:50:03 PM chucknormie
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** The UMP: It is the worst sub-machine and the worst automatic gun in the game. It suffers from low damage, low armour penetration, low ammunition capacity and slow rate of fire compared to all the other submachine guns, it's only advantages are a minor speed boost for the the user, and being more accurate on the move. It's also more expensive than the [=MP5=], which outclasses it in every situation.

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** The UMP: It is the worst sub-machine and the worst automatic gun in the game. It suffers from low damage, low armour penetration, low ammunition capacity and slow rate of fire compared to all the other submachine guns, it's only advantages are a minor speed boost for the the user, and being more accurate on the move. It's also more expensive than the [=MP5=], which outclasses it in every situation. Ironically {{averted|Trope}} in ''Global Offensive'', as the [=UMP=] received a ''massive'' {{Buff}}, making it the most-used SMG in the game and even being used to play against ''rifles''. It's basically become ''Global Offensive'''s version of ''1.6'' and ''Source'''s [[HandCannon Deagle]].


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** In ''Global Offensive'', the PP-Bizon took the [=UMP's=] status of "worst gun in the game", as it takes ''ten shots to the body'' to kill an armored enemy, and it's more expensive than the far more useful {=UMP=] (now {{Buff}}ed to the moon) and [=MAC=]-10/[=MP9=]. In some situations, even the ''knife'' is more useful than the Bizon. It's pretty much only used for CherryTapping and by {{Smurf}}s who don't want to go into "tryhard" mode.
5th Feb '17 6:46:32 PM AzyWng
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** ''Videogame/DeadRising2'' lets many of these items make a reappearance, but now several of them can be used as crafting material for the very powerful combo weapons, potentially making them [[LethalJokeItem Lethal Joke Items]].
20th Jan '17 7:37:54 PM Validarmus
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* ''VideoGame/DarkSouls'''s starting items are all of at least some use in your early runthrough except for the pendant. Director Hidetaka Miyazaki told players to start with the pendant or nothing, leading the fans to believe there would eventually be some use for the pendant but so far none has been found, ''When it comes to the pendant, I actually had a little bit of an intention to play a prank.'' There is also the running gag of the Xanthous Armor set (a set of ''bright pimpin' yellow'' armor in a series known for drab colors, with a head piece that can only be described as a ball of cloth five times the size of your head) is not an example, as it is a decent set of light armor aside from the [[RainbowPimpGear obvious problem]]. ''VideoGame/DarkSouls2'', on the other hand, adds the Moonlight Butterfly set, a similarly gaudy butterfly-themed costume with awful stats (it has the ability to inflict poison merely by standing around someone, but it's more likely to get [=NPCs=] mad at you than be any help in a fight), as well as a ladle... meant to be used as a mace, with all the power you'd expect from a kitchen implement. Both ''2'' and ''[[VideoGame/DarkSouls3 3]]'' also feature the Porcine Shield, a terrible-quality shield shaped like a pig head that even the in-game descriptions like to make fun of.

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* ''VideoGame/DarkSouls'''s starting items are all of at least some use in your early runthrough except for the pendant. Director Hidetaka Miyazaki told players to start with the pendant or nothing, leading the fans to believe there would eventually be some use for the pendant but so far none has been found, ''When "When it comes to the pendant, I actually had a little bit of an intention to play a prank.'' " There is also the running gag of the Xanthous Armor set (a set of ''bright pimpin' yellow'' armor in a series known for drab colors, with a head piece that can only be described as a ball of cloth five times the size of your head) is not an example, as it is a decent set of light armor aside from the [[RainbowPimpGear obvious problem]]. ''VideoGame/DarkSouls2'', on the other hand, adds the Moonlight Butterfly set, a similarly gaudy butterfly-themed costume with awful stats (it has the ability to inflict poison merely by standing around someone, but it's more likely to get [=NPCs=] mad at you than be any help in a fight), as well as a ladle... meant to be used as a mace, with all the power you'd expect from a kitchen implement. Both ''2'' and ''[[VideoGame/DarkSouls3 3]]'' also feature the Porcine Shield, a terrible-quality shield shaped like a pig head that even the in-game descriptions like to make fun of.
20th Jan '17 7:37:00 PM Validarmus
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* ''VideoGame/DarkSouls'''s running gag of the Xanthous Armor set (a set of ''bright pimpin' yellow'' armor in a series known for drab colors, with a head piece that can only be described as a ball of cloth five times the size of your head) is not an example, as it is a decent set of light armor aside from the [[RainbowPimpGear obvious problem]]. ''VideoGame/DarkSouls2'', on the other hand, adds the Moonlight Butterfly set, a similarly gaudy butterfly-themed costume with awful stats (it has the ability to inflict poison merely by standing around someone, but it's more likely to get [=NPCs=] mad at you than be any help in a fight), as well as a ladle... meant to be used as a mace, with all the power you'd expect from a kitchen implement. Both ''2'' and ''[[VideoGame/DarkSouls3 3]]'' also feature the Porcine Shield, a terrible-quality shield shaped like a pig head that even the in-game descriptions like to make fun of.

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* ''VideoGame/DarkSouls'''s starting items are all of at least some use in your early runthrough except for the pendant. Director Hidetaka Miyazaki told players to start with the pendant or nothing, leading the fans to believe there would eventually be some use for the pendant but so far none has been found, ''When it comes to the pendant, I actually had a little bit of an intention to play a prank.'' There is also the running gag of the Xanthous Armor set (a set of ''bright pimpin' yellow'' armor in a series known for drab colors, with a head piece that can only be described as a ball of cloth five times the size of your head) is not an example, as it is a decent set of light armor aside from the [[RainbowPimpGear obvious problem]]. ''VideoGame/DarkSouls2'', on the other hand, adds the Moonlight Butterfly set, a similarly gaudy butterfly-themed costume with awful stats (it has the ability to inflict poison merely by standing around someone, but it's more likely to get [=NPCs=] mad at you than be any help in a fight), as well as a ladle... meant to be used as a mace, with all the power you'd expect from a kitchen implement. Both ''2'' and ''[[VideoGame/DarkSouls3 3]]'' also feature the Porcine Shield, a terrible-quality shield shaped like a pig head that even the in-game descriptions like to make fun of.
17th Jan '17 10:39:29 AM ZombieAladdin
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** In addition, the Poverty Board, introduced in ''Snowboard Kids 2'', will continuously deplete your money as you use it (though it cannot go below 0, and it can only remove money earned during that race). Its stats are all middle-of-the-road, meaning there is no visible benefit to make up for it draining your funds.
13th Jan '17 3:31:34 AM Zekira
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*** In ''Duodecim'', it's one of the eight weapons Gilgamesh randomly draws when attacking. While the Excalibur doubles the damage he deals, the Excalipoor naturally reduces it to 1.

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*** In ''Duodecim'', it's one of the eight weapons Gilgamesh randomly draws when attacking. While the Excalibur doubles the damage he deals, the Excalipoor naturally reduces it to 1. It's even his LimitBreak; if you draw the Excalibur, he deals the most damaging EX Burst in the entire game, but if he draws the Excalipoor, he just adds a measly 4 damage to the initial burst damage, making it the weakest (but not completely worthless) EX Burst. And then the final part of that animation serves as a callback to the original game, where he throws the sword and can deal HP damage (the Excalipoor is one of the strongest items for the Throw command in Final Fantasy V), with the opponent having a surprised '!' and acting their blown back animation.
1st Jan '17 9:33:09 PM Sipher
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** ''[[VideoGame/FireEmblemFates Fates]]'' outdoes its predecessors with such examples as the Broom (''"A spear with a thousand tiny points."'' ), Stale Bread (which counts as a ''knife'' and restores the user's HP each turn), ''plates and trays'' which supposedly belong to your party's [[BattleButler Maid and Butler]] units, a Quill Pen (''"Not actually mightier than the sword"'' ), and a paper carp streamer classified as an axe/club. The Pine Branch (a lance) however, is a LethalJokeWeapon with a higher base damage than Steel weapons. Admittedtly, being run through with a tree branch would be quite painful.
9th Nov '16 9:12:33 PM Miracle@StOlaf
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* ''VideoGame/GoldenEye1997'': The Klobb (named after Ken Lobb, one of the people who worked on the game), an incredibly inaccurate and weak weapon with a very small magazine. Urban Dictionary sums up its uselessness the best by calling it ''"A Soviet gun specifically designed to miss its target."''

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* ''VideoGame/GoldenEye1997'': The Klobb (named after Ken Lobb, one of the people who worked on the game), an incredibly inaccurate inaccurate, slow-firing and weak weapon with a very small magazine. Urban Dictionary sums up its uselessness the best by calling it ''"A Soviet gun specifically designed to miss its target."''"'' For perspective, if enemy and player health are both reduced to 0% in 007 mode, the Klobb is the ''only'' gun that won't always kill with one shot.
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